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Quotes for
Susan Ortega (Character)
from Bruce Almighty (2003)

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Bruce Almighty (2003)
Announcer: Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, Evan Baxter, Fred Donahue Sports, Dallas Coleman Weather. And now, Buffalo's Number One News Team.
Susan Ortega: Good Evening and welcome to Eyewitness News at Six. I'm Susan Ortega.
Evan Baxter: And I'm Evan Baxter and here's what's making news. A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor d-bow debit
[choked off]
Evan Baxter: [high pitched] D-bow d-bit d-bow
[unintelligible chicken squawking]
Evan Baxter: Bucka-bow, dee buck.
Director: Someone get him some water please.
Susan Ortega: Looks like my new co-anchor may need a glass of water.
Evan Baxter: [clears throat] Oh, there we go. Sorry about that. In other news the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France.
Director: What'd he just say? Check the prompter.
Technician: The prompter's fine.
Director: Evan, READ THE COPY. Please. The copy's good. Just read it.
Evan Baxter: The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Ribroast Minister and... I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lik-a do da cha-cha. I'm sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties. In other news
[breaks wind]
Evan Baxter: Ohhhh. My apologies. Bulla blah, bulla blabity bulla bla
[rapid unitelligible gibberish]
Evan Baxter: Blabity blab bulla blah
[explosive gibberish]
Evan Baxter: [continues for 35 seconds]
[vaguely Chinese]
Evan Baxter: Kaa kaa poo poo. PEE PEE
[nervous laugh]

[From a scripted, but unreleased scene]
Susan Ortega: [Bruce and Susan are at the Eyewitness News desk, preparing for their first live broadcast together. Susan leans over to Bruce] Bruce, if I had any idea Grace was going to be there last night...
Bruce: Susan, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I found the moment rather pleasurable.
Susan Ortega: [She gasps and moans as she has a small orgasm] Oh really... that's nice...


Evan Almighty (2007)
[first lines]
Susan Ortega: And that's the news. But before we sign off, we'd like to thank our very own Evan Baxter, who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. And now we have a surprise for Evan.
Evan Baxter: No, you don't.
Susan Ortega: We do.
Evan Baxter: Oh, no. I really didn't expect this.
Susan Ortega: Here's a look back at his run for office.