Fulton Greenwall
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Quotes for
Fulton Greenwall (Character)
from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
[last lines]
Ace: [the Tiny Warrior shrieks in Wachutu] What did he just say?
Fulton Greenwall: I *think* he said, she's not a virgin.
Ace: [pause] They can *tell* that?

Ace: Mmm, this fruit paste is delicious. And the pottery is lovely.
Ouda: It's made from guano.
Ace: Guano! Why's that sounding so familiar?
[Ace starts licking the remains of the fruit paste from the bottom of the bowl]
Fulton Greenwall: Bat droppings.
[Ace drops the bowl, spitting the remains of the paste and wiping off his tongue]
Fulton Greenwall: Guano is their main raw material, they're using it to made a lot of things in the village.
Ace: Yummie!

Ace: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?
Fulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.
Ace: Corpus Kilochiroptera?
Fulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka.
[the Wachati chief and his son bow upon hearing the name]
Ace: Shikaka...
[they bow again]
Ace: Shikaka!
[they bow again]
Ace: Shikasha!
[they begin to bow, but stop]
Ace: Ohhh! Shishkebab.
[they almost bow]
Ace: Shawshank Redemption.
[they almost bow]
Ace: ShicaaaaGO!
[the chief bows]
Ace: You're outta there! Go on, I gotcha, you're out.
[the confused chief exits the hut]

Fulton Greenwall: Ace, the Wachutus are a blood-thirsty, savage tribe. If they catch you, they will show no mercy!
Ace: Worry not, my brother. For I will be as a fly on the wall - a grain of salt in the ocean. I will move amongst them like a transparent... *thing*.

Fulton Greenwall: Bumbawe Atuna... Bumbawe Atuna...
Ace: Hi there. Nice to see ya. Bumblebee tuna. Bumblebee tuna!
[quickly turns to face one of the natives]
Ace: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective! How are you this afternoon? Alrighty Then!
[turns to another]
Ace: Excuse me, your balls are showing.
Ace: Bumblebee tuna.

Ace: [smiling nervously] Well, everything here seems good! Big load off my mind, aw God. You can speculate all you want, but unless you check it out for yourself, you never know!
[face quickly turns serious]
Ace: We should head back now.
Fulton Greenwall: Don't you think you should investigate?
Ace: There's no reason to go in there. Ever. I sense it as a holy man.
Fulton Greenwall: But I thought you said...
Ace: It's DARK! I could fall into a precipice!
Ouda: [hands him a torch] Here! Take this
Ace: Spank you, Helpy Helperton.

Fulton Greenwall: Well done, Ace! You must be very proud!
Ace: Pride is an abomination. One must forego the self to obtain total spiritual creaminess, and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation.

Fulton Greenwall: My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.
Ashram Monk: No man here carries with him a label.
Fulton Greenwall: Oh yes, no names. How silly of me. Well, um, he's an American.
Ashram Monk: We are all children of the same life force.
Fulton Greenwall: Yes of course we are.
Fulton Greenwall: He bends over and speaks from his rear.
Ashram Monk: Oh him. Right this way...

[Ace is going at top speed towards the parking lot]
Fulton Greenwall: Perhaps we should slow down just a teensy-weensy bit?
Ace: Nonsense, Poopy-Pants!

Fulton Greenwall: We can pay you handsomely.
Ace: I am now a child of light. Your earthly money holds no appeal to me.
Fulton Greenwall: Twenty thousand dollars.
Ace: Re-he-he-eally? No. I cannot. For I am sorely needed... here, at the ashram.
Ashram Monk: If I may interject! We're short of space, and it's important for you to use your talents. Let me help you pack.
Ace: But I am yet to attain omnipresent supergalactic oneness.
Ashram Monk: No. Wait. THERE it is!
Ashram Monk: You've just attained it.
Ace: I have?
Ashram Monk: Yes! Just now! You are one! I can see it in your eyes. You're more one than anyone!
Ace: What about my medallion of spiritual accomplishment?
Ashram Monk: Take mine!
Ace: This took you eighty years to achieve!
Ashram Monk: That's okay. I don't like it anymore. Really.
Ace: In the light of this great personal sacrifice you've made, I have no choice... but to take the case.
Ashram Monk: Great! I'll go tell the others!
Ace: Master... break it to them gently.
Ace: [cut to Ace and Greenwall exiting the temple through the celebrating, drinking, and some stripped monks] I've never seen them like that before. Denial can be an ugly thing.

Fulton Greenwall: They did not know about disease until the white man came.
[Ace sneezes]