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Quotes for
Charles Townsend (Character)
from "Charlie's Angels" (1976)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Charlie's Angels: The Mexican Connection (#1.2)" (1976)
Kelly Garrett: But Charlie, how did you manage to ski into a tree?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] It was a matter of chivalry, Angel. Any woman who expends the effort to wiggle into a pair of pants that tight, deserves the full attention of every red blooded male on the slopes.
Jill Munroe: Oh, let us know if anybody writes anything juicy on your cast, Charlie.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] How's your breaststroke, Jill?
Jill Munroe: Oh, I thought you'd never ask, Charlie.
Kelly Garrett: Just swim in that water, Jill, don't drink it.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] I'm afraid I'm, I'm eh, I'm snowed in here at Aspen, Angels. But it's not all bad, my suite offers a magnificent view of local natural formations.
[cut to a buxom blonde taking off her wintercoat in front of Charlie]
Charles Townsend: And it's uncanny how they bring to mind the majestic slopes of Switzerland.

John Bosley: Have formal charges been filed against Frank Bartone?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] In spades, Bosley. The word is, Bartone couldn't even win a leniency appeal from a lady judge and an all woman jury.
Kelly Garrett: Don't count on it.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels Remembered (#3.22)" (1979)
Sabrina Duncan: What, Charlie, what is this, somebody's birthday?
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Good guess, Sabrina, that's exactly what it is.
Kelly Garrett: Well, it's not my birthday...
Sabrina Duncan: Hey, not mine.
Kris Munroe: I had mine last month.
[a beat]
Kris Munroe: Bosley...
Sabrina Duncan: Aw...
John Bosley: I never age.

Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Well, my friends, how can I thank you for tree years exciting years?
Sabrina Duncan: [slightly tipsy] Well, I think you just did, Charlie.
Kelly Garrett: And very elegantly.
Kris Munroe: Very.
Charles Townsend: That's just a small token of how I feel.
John Bosley: Oh, not too small, Charlie, wait till you see the bill!
Charles Townsend: Ha ha, this is one bill I don't have to look at, Bosley, you're priceless, Angels.
Kris Munroe: Ah, Charlie, the feeling's mutual.

[last lines]
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Have a good vacation, Angels, I'll be thinking of you.
Kelly Garrett: [raising her glass for a toast] To next year.
Sabrina Duncan: And many, many more.
John Bosley: Here, here!
Kris Munroe: We love you, Charlie.
[they all clink their glasses of very expensive French champagne]

"Charlie's Angels: Nips and Tucks (#4.21)" (1980)
Kris Munroe: Well, maybe it's all a big mistake.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Mistake's are made for a reason, Kris. The problem is to find it.

Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] If it's not the money, as the French say, find the woman. Cherchez, Angels, cherchez.
Tiffany Welles: This Angel pulls duty at six 'o clock tomorrow morning, and she is going to cherche her bed. Cherche yourself, Charlie.

Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] From terrorist to hit-woman in three years. that's quite a move.
Kelly Garrett: Hit-person, Charlie.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Ah, of course. Hit-person. Sorry, Kelly.

"Charlie's Angels: Night of the Strangler (#1.3)" (1976)
Jill Munroe: Is St. Clair a Scorpio? You know, it's really a cycle time for Scorpio's right now.
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Scorpio or not, Jill, St. Clair is a solid suspect.

Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Sorry I'm missing the flick Angels, I've heard it's educational.
John Bosley: [Bosley and the Angels are watching a rather tame dirty movie] A marvelous training film for the sado-machochistic set, Charlie.
Jill Munroe: There's some great chains, if you're into chains, Charlie.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Now I'm going to have to hurry along, Angels. Work, work work.
Sabrina Duncan: Another case, Charlie? Gee, I thought you just finished one.
Charles Townsend: I did, and the last one really took a lot out of me.
Charles Townsend: [cut to Charlie sitting in a hot tub while a woman in a pink bikini climbs out of a pool and into the tub] But something else just came up, and you know how I put my heart into my work. Bye, Angels!
Sabrina Duncan, Jill Munroe, Kelly Garrett: Goodbye Charlie!

"Charlie's Angels: I Will Be Remembered (#1.20)" (1977)
Sabrina Duncan: Gloria Gibson, huh? I saw every film she ever made. She's just incredible.
Kelly Garrett: Yeah, I saw one of her pictures on TV last week. Ah, a western.
Sabrina Duncan: Right: 'The Sodbusters'.
Jill Munroe: Hey, I remember seeing that too. She played a rancher's wife. She survived cholera, a gunshot wound, a cattle stampede.
Jill Munroe: She's a very heavy lady.
Charles Townsend: [over speaker phone] A very nice lady.

Charles Townsend: [over speaker phone] Incredible. This may go down as the most notorious story in the art world since eh, since that fellow cut off his ear...

"Charlie's Angels: Three for the Money (#4.22)" (1980)
John Bosley: Charlie, I, eh, have quite a wrap sheet, here on Mr. Harley Dexter. It appears that he's working with the Eastern Syndicate. He's a man of... two passions. Swindling is one, I'll give you the traditional three guesses as to the other.
Kris Munroe: Charlie, do you suppose that Tiffany, Kelly or myself will qualify for Mr. Dexter's other passion?
Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] My dears, why ever do you think we're in this business?

Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] Now ladies and gentlemen, we're setting up three cons. Kelly will go to Mexico with the professor and interest Mr. Dexter in some eh, fabulous Mayan art.
John Bosley: Meanwhile Kris will pick up a Rolls-Royce and Mr. Lloyd and Tiffany will be at a fund raising affair for senator Langston.
Kris Munroe: It's gonna be sort of a four pronged attack. And believe me, we're looking forward to it.

Charlie's Angels (2000)
Charlie: Good morning, angels.
Dylan, Natalie, Alex: Good morning, Charlie!

Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.

"Charlie's Angels: Fallen Angel (#4.5)" (1979)
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Mr. Roth is a man with James-Bondian tastes, means and charm, also known to be an extraordinary jewel thief, he actually socializes with the very people he steals from. He always works in the daytime, with lots of people around, and he has never been caught. In fact, no-one in the jet set would even dream of accusing him.
John Bosley: Some people vulgarly refer to him as the Ice Cat.
Kelly Garrett: Diamonds.
John Bosley: Ah, most definitely, although in the past couple of years, he has branched out into emeralds and rubies as well.

Tiffany Welles: Okay, we know who the suspect is.
Kris Munroe: And we know what he's after.
Kelly Garrett: So what's the catch?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Roth is the catch, Angels, he's extremely self-contained, practically impregnable. And I have heard that he's impervious to feminine wiles.
Kris Munroe: Hm, that sounds like a challenge.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Well, it's certainly not a piece of cake.

"Charlie's Angels: He Married an Angel (#5.8)" (1981)
Julie Rogers: When a nice, intelligent woman like Monica Regis lies, Charlie, she's definitely in love.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Hoho, is that how a man tells when a woman's in love, Julie, she lies?
Kris Munroe: Charlie...
John Bosley: And to think I've spend half my life in search of an honest woman.
Kelly Garrett: A fool's pursuit, Bosley.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] It seems Professor Thornwood has given us a rather naughty problem, Angels.
Kelly Garrett: If Monica gets hurt, and I know she will, Charlie, I'll personally crucify Thornwood.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on the Street (#4.7)" (1979)
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Angels, since you'll be shooting in the blind on this one, and Judy may not confide in you either, I suggest you establish some kind of cover going in.
Kelly Garrett: I agree, Charlie. Perhaps we could enroll as music students in your school.
Mr. Harkins: Oh? You're musicians?
Kelly Garrett: Well, I can dance, and ah, Kris is a singer.
Tiffany Welles: I play the violin, when it's not in the repair shop.
Kelly Garrett: Well, we'll think of something.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Keep good thoughts, Mr. Harkins.

Kelly Garrett: Okay, so what do we have? A woman beater we can't procecute, a victim we can't talk to, a hooker named Rose who doesn't like her, but thinks Tiff and I will do great on the street.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] That may be the best way to proceed, Kelly.
Tiffany Welles: You're not suggesting we 'go into business', as they say?
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] It's exactly what I'm suggesting.
Tiffany Welles: He's not serious.
Kris Munroe: No, Charlie's right.

"Charlie's Angels: Mr. Galaxy (#5.15)" (1981)
John Bosley: [briefing the Angels] Mr. Wilde has held the Mr. Galaxy title since he won it six years ago.
Artie Weaver: And he'd be a sinch to win it this again year if Ron was not in the competition.
Kelly Garrett: You think he may be trying trying to eliminate the competition?
Julie Rogers: Yeah, permanently.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Now, Angels, no conclusion leaping.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] You'd better bone up on the use of nautilus equipment.
Julie Rogers: Nautilus? I thought that was the name of an atomic submarine.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Well, you have until nine o'clock in the morning to learn the difference.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?

[Madison is talking to Charlie on the speaker box after shooting the Angels]
Charles Townsend: Don't do this, Madison. Deep down, there must still be some good in you.
Madison Lee: I was never good. I was GREAT!
[shoots the speaker box]

"Charlie's Angels: The Killing Kind (#1.6)" (1976)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Sorry to interrupt your pursuits of happiness on a gorgeous day like today, Angels, I've had an emergency come up that needs the feminine touch. This one came in from my ex-wife along with a request for more alimony.
Jill Munroe: I didn't know you were married, Charlie?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Once was enough to convince me that I am not monogamous by nature.
Kelly Garrett: What a shame.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Right now, I'd better get back to the case at hand.
Jill Munroe: Oh, what case is that, Charlie? Blond, brunette, redhead?

"Charlie's Angels: Charlie's Angels (#1.0)" (1976)
Charles 'Charlie' Townsend: [on phone] It's Charlie, Angel. Time to go to work.

Charles 'Charlie' Townsend: [on speakerphone] Well, that's it until next time, now I'd better get back to the job at hand.

"Charlie's Angels: Bullseye (#1.9)" (1976)
John Bosley: [On floor in lotus position, attempting transcendental meditation] Ommm Owwwmmm Ooowowhm!
Charles Townsend: [On speakerphone] Is that you, Bosley? You sound like a bagpipe in heat.

"Charlie's Angels: Cruising Angels (#4.12)" (1979)
John Bosley: The best estimate I could make would be something over, eh, five million dollars.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Wh - , five... and they left it on board?
Kris Munroe: Mm-hm. It's still there, Tiffany's guarding it. We figured if it didn't belong to you, that, eh, we could declare it salvage and we could split it between us.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] That sounds more like piracy than salvage, Kris.

"Charlie's Angels: Moonshinin' Angels (#5.7)" (1981)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] The last time the fued between the Catlins and the Bartletts exploded, it made headlines all across the country.
Kris Munroe: Well, how come I never read about it?
John Bosley: You weren't even born yet.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel Baby (#2.9)" (1977)
Kris Munroe: Okay, where do we start?
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] We start, with Kelly getting pregnant.
Sabrina Duncan: What?
[Kris Laughs]
Kelly Garrett: [nervous laughter] I quit!

"Charlie's Angels: The Vegas Connection (#1.17)" (1977)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] All right, that's the trail we have to follow. You'll all have to go up to Vegas.
John Bosley: Only problem is: we don't have any real lead once we get there.
Jill Munroe: Charlie, we've got to talk to Mrs. Mallin.
Kelly Garrett: And without that, we could spend six months in Vegas and come back with nothing but a suntan.
Charles Townsend: That's more than a lot of people come back with.

"Charlie's Angels: Target: Angels (#1.5)" (1976)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Good morning, Angels, I'll get right to business. One of our informants called early this morning. He heard through the grapevine that there may be an attempt made on Kelly's life.
Kelly Garrett: I'm afraid your grapevine doesn't grow fast enough, Charlie, the attempt was made last night.

"Charlie's Angels: Hellride (#1.1)" (1976)
Jill Munroe: Charlie, are you in pain?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] It's my sacro- oh...
Kelly Garrett: Pardon?
Charles Townsend: -iliac, lower lambego. Very stiff.
Jill Munroe: Oh, that's too bad, Charlie. Just how did you hurt your back?
Charles Townsend: The crushing weight of responsibility, angel. But I think it will just be a matter of some deft manipulation before I'll be standing as erect as ever.
[cut to Charlie being massaged by a bikini clad woman standing on his back]

"Charlie's Angels: Waikiki Angels (#5.5)" (1981)
Sam Knight: Charlie, I need your help.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] We'll do anything we can, Sam, but...
Sam Knight: No more buts! I've heard nothing but excuses since I got here! I want my daughter back!

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Paradise (#2.1)" (1977)
Charlie Townsend: My last kidnapping was a lot more civilized.
Mr. Blue: Well listen, Charlie, you can't win 'em all, you know what I'm talking about?

"Charlie's Angels: To Kill an Angel (#1.7)" (1976)
John Bosley: Charlie, do you think we ought to start running an add: Angel wanted?
Charles Townsend: [cut to Charlie's office where he's sitting with his back to the camera] I don't think so, Bosley but just in case I'll start interviewing right away. Come in, my dear.
[hangs up the phone as an incredibly busty girl enters]
Charles Townsend: . Would you like to show me your resumé?

"Charlie's Angels: Disco Angels (#3.15)" (1979)
Kris Munroe: This is not an exactly an assignment I'm looking forward to.
Charles Townsend: [over speaker phone] Neither is the next victim.

"Charlie's Angels: Stuntwomen Angels (#5.12)" (1981)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Angels, I'm having second thoughts about you three being stunt women as your cover.
Julie Rogers: [sighs] I think it's a little late for second thoughts, Charlie.
[sits down with a groan]
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] I take it you've picked up some bruises?
Kris Munroe: You know the area between your left elbow and your left shoulder, Charlie?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] That's where it hurts?
Kris Munroe: No, that's where it doesn't hurt.

"Charlie's Angels: Chorus Line Angels (#5.11)" (1981)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Angels, I'm afraid you're going to have to pull out your dancing shoes.
Kelly Garrett: Charlie, my dancing shoes are very, very dusty.
Julie Rogers: Well, that's alright, I'll dust them off for you.
Kelly Garrett: Really?
Julie Rogers: Yeah, as your agent/manager, it's the least I can do.
Kelly Garrett: Clever.

"Charlie's Angels: Attack Angels (#5.13)" (1981)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] How's your typing, Julie?
Julie Rogers: Well, Charlie, if I had to pass tests, I don't think I'd be working for you...

"Charlie's Angels: Counterfeit Angels (#3.14)" (1979)
Charles Townsend: [on phone] I'd never send you into a situation like this alone, Sabrina. But if those bogus Angels can impersonate you, why can't you all impersonate them?

"Charlie's Angels: Angel Blues (#2.19)" (1978)
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Amy Waters was one of my favorite artist, Angels. I want to know why she died.

"Charlie's Angels: Teen Angels (#3.18)" (1979)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] You are now honorary graduates of Blackmoor.
John Bosley: Graduates of a girls school? How am I gonna tell that to the guys in the locker room?

"Charlie's Angels: Toni's Boys (#4.23)" (1980)
Charles Townsend: [on the phone] I have a nasty feeling someone wanted all of you out of the picture. Do you remember that near miss accident the three of you had last week?
Kelly Garrett: Well, that could have been a coincidence.
Charles Townsend: Maybe, but I don't want to take any chances.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels at Sea (#1.21)" (1977)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] There's a significant difference between this and all the other high risk cases you've been on. The other times you could walk, run or crawl to the nearest exit. But not this time. Not even Angels can walk home from the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

"Charlie's Angels: Taxi Angels (#5.9)" (1981)
Julie Rogers: [about Jake] He's crazier than Sarge ever was.
Charles Townsend: [over speaker phone] And a lot more dangerous...

"Charlie's Angels: Angels Belong in Heaven (#3.11)" (1978)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Now remember, we'll all stay as close as the nearest phone. Kris or Sabrina's life may depend on it.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel in Hiding (#5.1)" (1980)
Charles Townsend: [over intercom] I talked to the police commissioner this morning. He was as pleased with Julie's work as I was with yours. So we came up with this terrific idea.
Kris Munroe: Which is?
Charles Townsend: [over intercom] Well, the commissioner is willing to make an exception in Julie's case and issue her an investigator's license, on a trial basis.
Kris Munroe: You mean...
Kelly Garrett: She'd be working here, with us?
Bosley: That's the general idea.

"Charlie's Angels: One Love... Two Angels: Part I (#4.24)" (1980)
Charles Townsend: [on the phone] Hello?
Kelly Garrett: Charlie, this is Kelly.
Charles Townsend: [on the phone] Kelly, you sound strange. Something wrong?
Kelly Garrett: Oliver Barrows is dead.
Charles Townsend: [on the phone] I'm sorry, I truly am. If there's anything I can do?
Kelly Garrett: I want to hire you. I need to know who I am.

"Charlie's Angels: Lady Killer (#1.8)" (1976)
Tony Mann: Now they're killing off the centerfolds.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] That's where you come in.
Kelly Garrett: As centerfolds?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Kelly, when you took this job you knew there'd be a lot of undercover work.
Jill Munroe: That's not undercover, that's not any cover at all.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Chains (#1.4)" (1976)
Linda Oliver: I just wanted to stop by and say thank you, while I was here for my interview.
Sabrina Duncan: Interview?
John Bosley: Yes, Charles thinks it's time that we hired a receptionist for our front.
Linda Oliver: I just hope I can measure up.
Jill Munroe: I don't think you have anything to worry about.
[puts on a sugar sweet voice]
Jill Munroe: Right, Charlie?
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] You took the words right out of my mouth, Jill, right out of my mouth.