John Bosley
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Quotes for
John Bosley (Character)
from "Charlie's Angels" (1976)

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"Charlie's Angels: Cruising Angels (#4.12)" (1979)
Tiffany Welles: [picking up the phone] Hello?
John Bosley: Hello, hi, Kelly, are Kris and Tiffany there with you?
Tiffany Welles: [putting him on the speakerphone] Bosley, this is Tiffany.
John Bosley: Oh, I'm sorry, Tiff, are Kris and Kelly with you?

John Bosley: Well, here's to a beautiful night for a beautiful lady, with the candlelight shining in her eyes.
Pat Justice: John, you're a hopeless romantic.
John Bosley: No, hopeful.

John Bosley: [there is wine spilled all over the floor] Girls, you've got to lay off the wine.

John Bosley: The best estimate I could make would be something over, eh, five million dollars.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Wh - , five... and they left it on board?
Kris Munroe: Mm-hm. It's still there, Tiffany's guarding it. We figured if it didn't belong to you, that, eh, we could declare it salvage and we could split it between us.
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] That sounds more like piracy than salvage, Kris.

Tiffany Welles: Could be Atamien is the real key to all of this.
John Bosley: I hope that you can find the lock.

John Bosley: It's disappeared! I have lost Charlie's boat.
Kris Munroe: Bosley, are you sure you went to the right slip?
John Bosley: Of course I am sure, I am a detective! I'm trained to find things, not lose them.

"Charlie's Angels: Love Boat Angels (#4.1)" (1979)
John Bosley: Ah, very nice, but not particularly nautical.
Tiffany Welles: Well, you didn't give us much time to get 'nautical'.

John Bosley: I would like to speak to you for just a moment.
Eleanor Case: You're not selling magazines, are you?
John Bosley: No. As a matter of fact, I'm not selling, I'm buying.

Eleanor Case: That's a very novel approach, Mr, eh?
John Bosley: My name is not important. In fact, in my line of work, anonymity is sometimes a prerequisite for survival.

Tiffany Welles: I just wouldn't want to let them down.
John Bosley: Angel...
[gives her a peck on the cheek]
John Bosley: ... you won't let them down, I'lll bet my life on that. Now come on, your insecurity is giving me a great thirst.

Tiffany Welles: I'll pamper you, Bosley, all the way home.
John Bosley: Promise?
Tiffany Welles: Promise.
John Bosley: You know, I think this girl has possibility.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel in Hiding (#5.1)" (1980)
Kris Munroe: Just the three of us on this one, Bos?
Bosley: I guess so, in that Tiffany has decided to stay east for a while.

Bosley: I have the feeling that if Julie Rogers gets cornered, she can be very, very mean.

Bosley: Liten, I, eh, just talked to Kris, she just walked out on the job she had over at the auto show.
Julie Rogers: Walked out? Why?
Bosley: She got a worse offer.

Julie Rogers: That's a tough operation down there.
Bosley: Yeah, I know.
Julie Rogers: I don't think you do. I was raised in a neigborhood like that. And what you see from the outside looking in, it's worse from the inside looking out.
Kelly Garrett: I get the feeling she knows what she's talking about, Bos.
Julie Rogers: Believe it, I do.

Charles Townsend: [over intercom] I talked to the police commissioner this morning. He was as pleased with Julie's work as I was with yours. So we came up with this terrific idea.
Kris Munroe: Which is?
Charles Townsend: [over intercom] Well, the commissioner is willing to make an exception in Julie's case and issue her an investigator's license, on a trial basis.
Kris Munroe: You mean...
Kelly Garrett: She'd be working here, with us?
Bosley: That's the general idea.

"Charlie's Angels: Dirty Business (#1.16)" (1977)
Sabrina Duncan: [Questioning Marvin] Were you shooting one of your epidermal epics then?
Marvin Goldman: "Sally of Sin City."
John Bosley: [Impressed] That is a very provocative title.
Marvin Goldman: I thought of it myself.

John Bosley: I stopped by your house and your maid told me you were here, so I took a small liberty.
Mrs. Evers: Did you enjoy it?
John Bosley: Enjoy what?
Mrs. Evers: Taking a small liberty with my maid?

John Bosley: [watching a man play golf] He has a smooth stroke.
Mrs. Evers: He had two...

John Bosley: Oh, Marvin, you are a very enterprising fellow.
Jill Munroe: Not to mention a liar, pornographer, blackmailer.
Marvin Goldman: Well, I never said I was perfect.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels Remembered (#3.22)" (1979)
Sabrina Duncan: What, Charlie, what is this, somebody's birthday?
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Good guess, Sabrina, that's exactly what it is.
Kelly Garrett: Well, it's not my birthday...
Sabrina Duncan: Hey, not mine.
Kris Munroe: I had mine last month.
[a beat]
Kris Munroe: Bosley...
Sabrina Duncan: Aw...
John Bosley: I never age.

Kris Munroe: I can't believe that it is two years since I walked through that door.
John Bosley: As I recall, you didn't walk in, you sort of roared in.
[the Angels laugh at this]
Kris Munroe: Haha, now wait a minute. It may have seemed like a roar, but boy did I have butterflies...

Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Well, my friends, how can I thank you for tree years exciting years?
Sabrina Duncan: [slightly tipsy] Well, I think you just did, Charlie.
Kelly Garrett: And very elegantly.
Kris Munroe: Very.
Charles Townsend: That's just a small token of how I feel.
John Bosley: Oh, not too small, Charlie, wait till you see the bill!
Charles Townsend: Ha ha, this is one bill I don't have to look at, Bosley, you're priceless, Angels.
Kris Munroe: Ah, Charlie, the feeling's mutual.

[last lines]
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Have a good vacation, Angels, I'll be thinking of you.
Kelly Garrett: [raising her glass for a toast] To next year.
Sabrina Duncan: And many, many more.
John Bosley: Here, here!
Kris Munroe: We love you, Charlie.
[they all clink their glasses of very expensive French champagne]

"Charlie's Angels: Mother Goose Is Running for His Life (#2.20)" (1978)
John Bosley: Well, I'm gonna go walk off some of these cobwebs. I may even commune with the teddy bears.

John Bosley: [Kris is posing as a large toy in the design room] Let's just hope Roclair doesn't decide to redesign her.

Leland Swinnerton: You know, lately I have been thinking I should get out of the toy business. Get into something similar, like cuckoo clocks.
John Bosley: If you did, the Swiss would probably send a hitman.

"Charlie's Angels: Three for the Money (#4.22)" (1980)
John Bosley: Charlie, I, eh, have quite a wrap sheet, here on Mr. Harley Dexter. It appears that he's working with the Eastern Syndicate. He's a man of... two passions. Swindling is one, I'll give you the traditional three guesses as to the other.
Kris Munroe: Charlie, do you suppose that Tiffany, Kelly or myself will qualify for Mr. Dexter's other passion?
Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] My dears, why ever do you think we're in this business?

Charles Townsend: [Over speakerphone] Now ladies and gentlemen, we're setting up three cons. Kelly will go to Mexico with the professor and interest Mr. Dexter in some eh, fabulous Mayan art.
John Bosley: Meanwhile Kris will pick up a Rolls-Royce and Mr. Lloyd and Tiffany will be at a fund raising affair for senator Langston.
Kris Munroe: It's gonna be sort of a four pronged attack. And believe me, we're looking forward to it.

John Bosley: This is Mayan culture at its finest.
Prof. McKenderick: You're holding it upside down.

"Charlie's Angels: Dancing in the Dark (#1.19)" (1977)
John Bosley: [Bri and Bos are playing scrabble] Chutzpah? You can't use that.
Sabrina Duncan: You can if you got it!

Alexander Cruz: That was yesterday when your name was Walker. Today is today, Mr. Bosley.
John Bosley: And tomorrow is tomorrow is tomorrow.
Kelly Garrett: If we're gonna stand around quoting Shakespeare, it's gonna be a very tedious day.

Kelly Garrett: I'm gonna make you one more offer, Bosley, and you're going to take it: thirty thousand dollars.
John Bosley: Your offers are as tedious as my Shakespeare.

Charlie's Angels (2000)
[one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door]
Bosley: What do you call this?
Dylan: Chinese fighting muffin.
Bosley: That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.

Bosley: And I had a really long talk with a squirrel one time, longer in fact than I can with most people.

[last lines]
Dylan: To Charlie.
Alex: To Charlie.
Natalie: To Charlie.
Bosley: To Charlie.
[falls over]
Bosley: Let me toast you ladies, with some ice cubes!

"Charlie's Angels: The Vegas Connection (#1.17)" (1977)
John Bosley: We have learned one thing that could tie Mrs. Mallin to Samuels and the truck driver.
Jill Munroe: Mrs. Mallin was a dancer in the chorus line at...
Sabrina Duncan: Mr. and Mrs. Samuels worked as a waiter and a waitress at...
Kelly Garrett: Sydney Carver makes weekly deliveries on Wednesdays to...
John Bosley: ...The Versaile Hotel in Las Vegas.

John Bosley: [posing as a Texas gambler] Well, any man who'd say no to a free meal and a lady companion is a fool, and my momma didn't raise up no fools.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] All right, that's the trail we have to follow. You'll all have to go up to Vegas.
John Bosley: Only problem is: we don't have any real lead once we get there.
Jill Munroe: Charlie, we've got to talk to Mrs. Mallin.
Kelly Garrett: And without that, we could spend six months in Vegas and come back with nothing but a suntan.
Charles Townsend: That's more than a lot of people come back with.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Vegas (#3.1)" (1978)
Frank Howell: And I don't care what It costs, Mr. Townsend.
John Bosley: I love that song!
Sabrina Duncan: Bosley!

Doorman: I've been here six years, I don't have a whistle.
John Bosley: You think you really deserve one?
Doorman: I think you should be carrying luggage like the rest of us.
John Bosley: When you get a whistle, you don't have to carry luggage.

John Bosley: Meet Dan Tana.
Dan Tana: Hi!
Kelly Garrett: You're Dan Tana?
Kris Munroe: You're Dan Tana?
Kelly Garrett: I just said that.

"Charlie's Angels: One Love... Two Angels: Part II (#4.25)" (1980)
John Bosley: So you think somebody's trying to kill Kelly?
Tiffany Welles: I think somebody's trying to kill Margaret Ellen Barris.

William Cord: What are the odds that looks his whole life for one woman, just one, that he can... really love and care for. Somebody like Kris or Kelly, somebody that you can spend the rest of your life with. I didn't plan it this way, believe me.
John Bosley: Well you couldn't have done any better if you'd tried.

John Bosley: So now it's your guess that it's the Salem Hotel that was the key to all this whole charade?
Tiffany Welles: Yeah, but I had to be hit on the head with a ton of bricks before I realized it.

"Charlie's Angels: Rosemary, for Remembrance (#3.21)" (1979)
John Bosley: Well, we're gonna have to have somebody out at the estate, to be a bodyguard.
Tim Stone: Oh, I've arranged for Kris to be Uncle Jake's houseguest.
John Bosley: Oh, well, eh, we were planning on putting Kelly inside the house.
Tim Stone: [glances at Kelly] No, it, it'd better be Kris.
Kris Munroe: Why?
Tim Stone: Uncle Jake...
[nervous smile]
Tim Stone: ... likes blondes. I'll pick you up around three.
[turns and leaves]
Kelly Garrett: [smiles and slaps her thigh] Well, I could've worn a wig...

John Bosley: Well, Fairly Enterprises is a front for the mob. Back in the bad old days, the owner used to be the member of a family headed by guess who?
Sabrina Duncan: Renaldi.
John Bosley: Hm-hmm.
Sabrina Duncan: Well, so much for his nice new image.
John Bosley: Oh, Renaldi is mobbed up, he always has been. He probably makes this Rocky Canyon Beer in a bathtub.

Sabrina Duncan: What do you mean 'how do they make the blood spurt'?
John Bosley: Oh, eh, well, he's, eh, retired now, he works as a technical advisor on gangster films. I've always wanted to know how they make that blood spurt...
Sabrina Duncan: Bosley, you are disgusting!
John Bosley: Yeah, I know it.

"Charlie's Angels: Stuntwomen Angels (#5.12)" (1981)
John Bosley: [the Angels have just practiced their first stunt jump] Well, I am very impressed.
Julie Rogers: Drop dead.
[punches him in the arm]
Kelly Garrett: Twice.
John Bosley: I thought you weren't speaking to me?

John Bosley: I must say that after just one week at Big Teddy's stunt school, you two have certainly acquired the look.
Julie Rogers: You too.
John Bosley: Me?
Julie Rogers: You've acquired the look of someone who's been stuffing his face while we're sweating our buns off!

John Bosley: I have kept my ear to the ground, so to speak. And guess what I came up with?
Julie Rogers: A flat ear?"
John Bosley: [unamused] Funny.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Waiting (#3.20)" (1979)
Ellen Miles: What are you doing with a gun?
John Bosley: When somebody shoots at me, I sometimes shoot back.

Ellen Miles: Who are you, John Bosley? And, and why are you carrying a gun, anyway?
John Bosley: Because I have a permit.
Ellen Miles: Well, why do you have a permit? Are you a police officer?
John Bosley: I'm a detective.
Ellen Miles: Detective?
John Bosley: Private.
Ellen Miles: Ooh.

John Bosley: Come on, lets go to a restaurant.
Ellen Miles: What? You can eat at a time like this?
John Bosley: No, no, but I can have a drink.

"Charlie's Angels: The Blue Angels (#1.22)" (1977)
Breshnik: [the eccentric landlord exits with a final declaration of his belief that people should wear leaves instead of clothes ] Someday all bodies will be in leaves!
John Bosley: [Turning to Jill] Y'know, actually it's not such a bad idea, though. If we had our shirts made out of tobacco leaves, when we got tired of them we could smoke 'em!
Jill Munroe: I think you already have, Bosley.

John Bosley: Ah, our new landlord.
[gets up]
John Bosley: Well, how nice to meet you.
[reaches out to shake hands]
Breshnik: Not to touch Breshnik!
Jill Munroe: You never touch?
Breshnik: Breshnik bought this to be Temple Breshnik. Now, it's filled with pagans.
Jill Munroe: Oh, you're a man of the cloth.
Breshnik: Not cloth, leaves!

Man: She really gave me a massage.
John Bosley: Oh, you were expecting violins? That'll be twenty dollars.
[two other customers get up and leave]

"Charlie's Angels: Island Angels (#5.4)" (1980)
Lisa Gallo: You know, the nice thing about having relationships at a place like this is that nobody expects them to last.
John Bosley: [posing as a magazine writer] I'll remember that. I'll quote you.
Lisa Gallo: Forget the quote, remember me...

John Bosley: Did anyone ever tell you that you're outrageous?
Lisa Gallo: Yes. They usually say that. Outrageous and charming.

Lisa Gallo: Now how could such an attractive man such as you stay single, hmm?
John Bosley: Oh, there's a lot to be said for being a single.
Lisa Gallo: Well, you don't have to sell me on staying single. I've been single... several times myself.

"Charlie's Angels: Terror on Ward One (#1.18)" (1977)
Kelly Garrett: The trick is to question them so they won't realize they're being questioned.
John Bosley: Aha. I see. What we need is a sharp eye and a deft, clever. tongue.
Kelly Garrett: That would be wonderful. Bosley. But meanwhile, see what you can find out without blowing it.

John Bosley: [referring to Halvorsen] Now, if he was cleverly and deftly interrogated...
Jill Munroe: That's a good idea, Bos. Only trouble is: you're the one who's closest to him, so you'll have to do it.
John Bosley: Oh, that's amusing, that is very amusing.

Jill Munroe: Wait a minute. Bosley as a patient, that's a perfect cover.
Sabrina Duncan: It's a very simple surgery, Bosley.
John Bosley: Please, that's one of my un-favorite words.
Jill Munroe: Bosley, you're not afraid of going under the knife?
John Bosley: That is another of my un-favorite words!

"Charlie's Angels: Marathon Angels (#3.19)" (1979)
Sabrina Duncan: Why don't you two take Sylvia's place and the girl who hasn't signed in yet. What's her name, Cole?
John Bosley: Yeah.
Sabrina Duncan: Yeah.
Kris Munroe: Hold it, hold it. How come all of a sudden we're the ones running?
Sabrina Duncan: Well, you thought of it, and you agreed. Is that reasonable?
John Bosley: Perfectly.
Kris Munroe: Terrific.
Kelly Garrett: Reasonable.

Kelly Garrett: You think the gate guard's gonna buy this? 20A and 20B?
John Bosley: Well, if he says anything, tell him you're part of an entry. You know, like in a horse race.
Kris Munroe: Yeah, but what if he doesn't know from entries? Then what do we do?
John Bosley: You're in running clothes, outrun him.

John Bosley: You do not look well.
Kris Munroe: [moans] I'm sculpting my body with pain.

"Charlie's Angels: The Mexican Connection (#1.2)" (1976)
John Bosley: Thank you, Miss Barkley. Oh, and by the way, I want you to know that Charlie's annual donation to the library fund is on it's way.
Miss Barkley: [on speakerphone] Splendid, Mr. Bosley. I don't know what we'd do without Charlie's continued generocity.
John Bosley: It's from the heart, Miss Barkley. Charlie feels that all girls should be well rounded.

John Bosley: Have formal charges been filed against Frank Bartone?
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] In spades, Bosley. The word is, Bartone couldn't even win a leniency appeal from a lady judge and an all woman jury.
Kelly Garrett: Don't count on it.

"Charlie's Angels: Hours of Desperation (#2.15)" (1978)
Sabrina Duncan: [pretending they got betrayed by Kris in front of their captors] She sold us out!
John Bosley: You mean Kris pulled a switch?
Sabrina Duncan: Yeah, well, what does she care? She hardly knows us.
John Bosley: I begged Charlie not to hire her!

Kris Munroe: [to Bri] Would you like something to eat?
John Bosley: No, no, no. You starve a cold, you feed a fever.
Kris Munroe: I thought it was 'feed a cold and starve a fever'.
Kelly Garrett: Well, she has both, so we can go either way.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel on My Mind (#3.10)" (1978)
Kris Munroe: Listen, I gotta get going I have an appointment with Piere...
John Bosley: Who's Pierre?
Kelly Garrett: Pierre runs his fingers through her hair.

Sabrina Duncan: Hey look at that, they said an old guy in a tent.
[the old man can be heard singing a song in the distance]
John Bosley: Yeah, sounds like he got out of the tent, and into the bottle.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel Baby (#2.9)" (1977)
John Bosley: See those three young men at that table?
Kris Munroe: [takes a moment to check them out] You mean wink 'em, blink 'em and nod?

John Bosley: Business is my business.

"Charlie's Angels: Target: Angels (#1.5)" (1976)
John Bosley: He was a terrific accountant, but a lousy crook.
Sabrina Duncan: Just like an administration we once had.

Sabrina Duncan: Bosley, is that a note of concern I detect in your voice?
John Bosley: It is just that we have spent a great deal of time and money in recruiting and training you all, and you'd be very difficult to replace.
Jill Munroe: What he means is he can't find anyone to work as cheap as we do.

"Charlie's Angels: The Jade Trap (#2.22)" (1978)
Kris Munroe: I mean, it's just crazy. Five years without an injury. All of a sudden a murder, then an attempted murder, one right after the other.
John Bosley: Yes, and don't forget the attempted decapitation of yours truly.

John Bosley: I'm telling you, with a mother like that, Machlin could be the most inept burglar in history and he'd still wind up with a fortune.

"Charlie's Angels: Mr. Galaxy (#5.15)" (1981)
John Bosley: [briefing the Angels] Mr. Wilde has held the Mr. Galaxy title since he won it six years ago.
Artie Weaver: And he'd be a sinch to win it this again year if Ron was not in the competition.
Kelly Garrett: You think he may be trying trying to eliminate the competition?
Julie Rogers: Yeah, permanently.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Now, Angels, no conclusion leaping.

Kelly Garrett: Oh, you're planning to become an iron pumper, Bosley?
John Bosley: You never can tell. I just might challenge Mr. Galaxy.

"Charlie's Angels: Consenting Adults (#1.10)" (1976)
John Bosley: [referring to Jill's skateboard] Those things are dangerous.
Sabrina Duncan: And working for Charlie isn't?

John Bosley: [about Jill] Like pudding... on springs.

"Charlie's Angels: Mother Angel (#3.9)" (1978)
Jill Munroe: You must be Samantha. I haven't seen you since you were a toddler.
[patronisingly holds her hand close to the ground to indicate small height]
Sam: I was never a toddler.
John Bosley: I'm inclined to agree with that.

Kris Munroe: No murder weapon, no body, no I.D. on the victim. And we don't even know who this Buckley is, for sure.
Sabrina Duncan: What about the fingerprints on that glass that I took?
John Bosley: No, no luck there either. He either used acid or had surgery performed on them. Wiped as smooth as a fat man's smile.

"Charlie's Angels: To See an Angel Die (#5.2)" (1980)
John Bosley: It's easy to see that none of you know anything about the loneliness of command.

Eleanor Willard: I see a white line...
Kelly Garrett: Where, what is the line?
Eleanor Willard: It's from Miss Munroe.
John Bosley: What does it mean?
Eleanor Willard: Well it, it may mean her life.

"Charlie's Angels: Unidentified Flying Angels (#2.7)" (1977)
Seth Corday: Is there anything, anything, eh, at all I can do for you?
John Bosley: Yes. Please don't cry.

John Bosley: Now, when Britton was forced out of the space program, we know that he became associated with...
[pushes button to show a new slide]
John Bosley: Dr. Franklin Perine, MA; MS; Phd; C.P.
Sabrina Duncan: [interrupting] Bosley... ehm, C. P.?
John Bosley: Hm. 'Complete Phony'

"Charlie's Angels: To Kill an Angel (#1.7)" (1976)
John Bosley: Charlie, do you think we ought to start running an add: Angel wanted?
Charles Townsend: [cut to Charlie's office where he's sitting with his back to the camera] I don't think so, Bosley but just in case I'll start interviewing right away. Come in, my dear.
[hangs up the phone as an incredibly busty girl enters]
Charles Townsend: . Would you like to show me your resumé?

Jill Munroe: In her spare time, Kelly was working in a volunteer workshop with autistic children.
John Bosley: Then her mystery man was this Skip?
Jill Munroe: Yeah, they said she spend more time with him than the other children because she thought he needed more help than the others.
John Bosley: Well, if I didn't love her before, I do now.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel on High (#3.3)" (1978)
John Bosley: Help you?
Markle: Who are you people? What are you doing here?
Sabrina Duncan: Oh, we're just... lookin' around.
Markle: This is private property.
Kris Munroe: Eh...
[reaches for something in her bag]
Kris Munroe: This is a court order. Says we have a right to be here.
[the man takes the court order and reads it]
John Bosley: Now that you eh, know about us, how about you?
Sabrina Duncan: Yeah.
Markle: [points at the large envelope Sabrina is holding] What are those?
Sabrina Duncan: Eh, like you said: private property.
Markle: Not yours.
Sabrina Duncan: Or yours, heheh.
Markle: I'll come back when it's less crowded.

John Bosley: So, Miss Duncan is flying to New York, while Miss Garrett and Miss Munroe are on their way to Reno, Nevada.
Stambler: To find my son.
John Bosley: Well, William Freeman is in Reno, Mr. Stambler, but we haven't even begun to prove that he is your son.
Stambler: Well, I'd like to indulge in some wishful thinking. See, I've been a pragmatist all my life, but...
Evelyn Wales: [interrupting] So, for once in your life, Jonathan, dream a little.
Stambler: [small chuckle] See, i've won most of the battles in my life, but... I'd trade some of those victories just to win this one.

"Charlie's Angels: Nips and Tucks (#4.21)" (1980)
Dr. Redmont: Difficult, to be married to a beautiful woman, isn't it?
John Bosley: Well, like the old saying goes: marry an ugly wife and have a beautiful life.

Kelly Garrett: What happened? You were supposed to have Collins.
John Bosley: Yeah, they just now wheeled him into surgery
Kris Munroe: Where's Tiffany?
John Bosley: Redmont's gonna take her in there with him.
Kris Munroe: But she's not a surgical nurse.
John Bosley: I know, and neither are those two goons of Collin's or Barbara whatshername.
Kelly Garrett: You mean they're all in there?
John Bosley: Right.
Kris Munroe: Oh great. Could be the first operation where the patient survives and the docter and the nurse don't.

"Charlie's Angels: Circus of Terror (#2.5)" (1977)
John Bosley: Hey, who's that?
Kris Munroe: That's the executioner.
John Bosley: The who?
Kris Munroe: My boss, the knife thrower.
John Bosley: Well he was looking at you very suspiciously.
Kris Munroe: Maybe he's measuring me for a new knife.

John Bosley: Wow, you look white as a sheet.
Kris Munroe: He just scared two months off my suntan!

"Charlie's Angels: Teen Angels (#3.18)" (1979)
Kris Munroe: [posing as a new student] Mr. Bosley, I'm Kris Munroe. I saw you on the bus. Are you a teacher?
John Bosley: Well actually, I'm a, eh, maintenance engineer in the equestrian area.
Kris Munroe: [already aware of Bosley's cover] Oh, a groom.

Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] You are now honorary graduates of Blackmoor.
John Bosley: Graduates of a girls school? How am I gonna tell that to the guys in the locker room?

"Charlie's Angels: Game, Set, Death (#2.14)" (1978)
Mrs. Hailey: You're such a strong looking man...
John Bosley: I am formidable, as friend or foe.

John Bosley: [Bosley has his eye on a suspect] At a place and time of my chosing, I'll play her little game, and I'll play it better...

"Charlie's Angels: Angels at Sea (#1.21)" (1977)
John Bosley: Well, what kind of people are the victims, Mr. Strauss?
John Strauss: Just people, Bosley. No big shots, no super rich people, just ordinary.

John Bosley: Well, we've located the three bombs, and the Angels are babysitting.

"Charlie's Angels: Antique Angels (#2.24)" (1978)
Kris Munroe: You know, I wonder what kinda costumes Charlie sent out?
John Bosley: I don't know, something appropriate for this old relic, I suppose.
Kris Munroe: Oh Bosley, I don't think you're an old relic. Yet...

Martha Milton: Are you, eh, an afficionado?
John Bosley: No, I'm just an admirer of old cars... and mature women.
Martha Milton: If you're attempting to flatter me, you're doing a divine job.

"Charlie's Angels: Night of the Strangler (#1.3)" (1976)
John Bosley: All of our prime candidates have alibis for the time of the murder.
Kelly Garrett: So our assignment is to shoot at the alibis until we find one that leaks?

Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] Sorry I'm missing the flick Angels, I've heard it's educational.
John Bosley: [Bosley and the Angels are watching a rather tame dirty movie] A marvelous training film for the sado-machochistic set, Charlie.
Jill Munroe: There's some great chains, if you're into chains, Charlie.

"Charlie's Angels: The Killing Kind (#1.6)" (1976)
John Bosley: Did you ever feel like the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes? I mean how could my wife do this to me? How? How could she pack brown shoes with a tuxedo?

Jill Munroe: Where's Sabrina?
John Bosley: Oh, she'll be down in a minute. Do you know that she takes even longer geting ready than you do?
Jill Munroe: No, Bosley, I've explained that to you before. It's not the dressing time, it's the bath time. I always like to take a long time in the bath, ' cause a bath makes me very logical.

"Charlie's Angels: One Love... Two Angels: Part I (#4.24)" (1980)
Kelly Garrett: You three and Charlie, you're the only real family I have.
John Bosley: Unless Oliver Barrows is your father...

Tiffany Welles: There goes one lucky girl...
John Bosley: Oh, you are wrong, Tiff.
Tiffany Welles: Why?
John Bosley: Because if she is his daughter, then Barrows is the lucky one.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Vacation (#3.13)" (1979)
Kelly Garrett: Bosley, level with us. Are you actually picking up the tab for the whole three days in Arizona, food and lodging?
John Bosley: Well no, not actually, Charlie's paying for this little western vacation. Personally, I feel his actions are dangerously generous.
Kelly Garrett: Meaning he'll spoil us?
John Bosley: Meaning that a smart detective is a hungry detective.
Kris Munroe: What about a thirsty detective, Bosley?
John Bosley: Oh yes, his reckless actions also include beverages as well.

John Bosley: [aiming a gun at Haller] The way I see it, you got three choices: you give it all up, you can make us shoot you or, we can have them at you.
Haller: [turns to face a group of angry elderly ladies carrying sticks and stones] I give! Keep away from me. Keep them away from me!
Granny: [with disgust] Pitty!

"Charlie's Angels: Bullseye (#1.9)" (1976)
John Bosley: [On floor in lotus position, attempting transcendental meditation] Ommm Owwwmmm Ooowowhm!
Charles Townsend: [On speakerphone] Is that you, Bosley? You sound like a bagpipe in heat.

"Charlie's Angels: Moonshinin' Angels (#5.7)" (1981)
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] The last time the fued between the Catlins and the Bartletts exploded, it made headlines all across the country.
Kris Munroe: Well, how come I never read about it?
John Bosley: You weren't even born yet.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Campus (#4.10)" (1979)
Willamena: This isn't the Colorado section, Zack.
Tiffany Welles: Zack?
John Bosley: [Reading the title of a book he just picked up for show] "Phänomenologie des Geistes". Very interesting flavor for a western, wouldn't you say?
Willamena: A tutonic western?
John Bosley: Ahuh.
Willamena: How unique!
Tiffany Welles: [Zack and Willamena walk off] Wunderbar...

"Charlie's Angels: Magic Fire (#2.11)" (1977)
John Bosley: [about the Great Danzini] Now, he likes to live high, but he is not drawing as well as he used to. As a matter of fact, he's so broke, he may have to hock his rabbit.
Sabrina Duncan: If I have to hear one more magic joke...

"Charlie's Angels: Fallen Angel (#4.5)" (1979)
Charles Townsend: [over speakerphone] Mr. Roth is a man with James-Bondian tastes, means and charm, also known to be an extraordinary jewel thief, he actually socializes with the very people he steals from. He always works in the daytime, with lots of people around, and he has never been caught. In fact, no-one in the jet set would even dream of accusing him.
John Bosley: Some people vulgarly refer to him as the Ice Cat.
Kelly Garrett: Diamonds.
John Bosley: Ah, most definitely, although in the past couple of years, he has branched out into emeralds and rubies as well.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel on a Roll (#5.14)" (1981)
Kris Munroe: [looking at a picture of Ted Markham] Eh, Bosley, you can tell Charlie that I'll take the assignment.
Kelly Garrett: Well...
Julie Rogers: Hey! Wait a minute, don't we get to vote on this or something?
Kelly Garrett: Well, I vote that eh, Mr. Markham spend some of those bills on me.
John Bosley: I would say that you two have been outmaneuvered.

"Charlie's Angels: He Married an Angel (#5.8)" (1981)
Julie Rogers: When a nice, intelligent woman like Monica Regis lies, Charlie, she's definitely in love.
Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] Hoho, is that how a man tells when a woman's in love, Julie, she lies?
Kris Munroe: Charlie...
John Bosley: And to think I've spend half my life in search of an honest woman.
Kelly Garrett: A fool's pursuit, Bosley.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels at the Altar (#4.4)" (1979)
Sharon: I feel so stupid.
Tiffany Welles: Don't be silly. He was good looking, charming, sophisticated.
John Bosley: All the attributes of the well crafted conman.
John Bosley: He fooled us too.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Horseback (#2.13)" (1977)
Jean Trevor: Mr. Bosley, maybe we could discuss old Sawtooth's gender over a plate of grits or something?
John Bosley: My pleasure. Oh, Miss Trevor, I believe that in these parts, grits are out, beans are in.
Jean Trevor: How quaint.

"Charlie's Angels: The Sandcastle Murders (#2.18)" (1978)
Kelly Garrett: How do you hide a gun in a bikini?
John Bosley: Very carefully.

"Charlie's Angels: The Prince and the Angel (#4.8)" (1979)
John Bosley: Do you mean, that you were actually picked up in a men's haberdashery?
Jill Munroe: Picked up sounds so declassé... Was I picked up?
Kelly Garrett: I'd say you were confiscated.
Kris Munroe: Well, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this confiscation?
Jill Munroe: An eleven.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Wheels (#1.12)" (1976)
John Bosley: You know, you girls go through cars like Evel Knievel goes through motorcycles.

"Charlie's Angels: The Seance (#1.11)" (1976)
Grace Rodeheaver: I have retained Mr. Townsend's Cherubs.
La Plante: Cherubs?
John Bosley: Angels. That's what Charlie calls them: Angels.
La Plante: [sarcasm] Dynamite.

"Charlie's Angels: Terror on Skis (#3.16)" (1979)
Chadway: Mr. Bosley. I asume you can handle a gun?
John Bosley: You assume correctly.

"Charlie's Angels: Haunted Angels (#3.6)" (1978)
John Bosley: [holds up his hand and closes his eyes] I am looking into the future now, Claire and I... I see money, your money, floating into the good doctor's pocket.

"Charlie's Angels: The Big Tap-Out (#1.14)" (1977)
John Bosley: [posing as Jimmy Joe Peepers] I think you'll find Jimmy Joe more than generous. You see, money makes no never mind.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel Blues (#2.19)" (1978)
John Bosley: [about Amy] Did she have any bruises when she left you, Lenny?
Lenny: Yes, she did.
Kris Munroe: Do you know how she got them?
Lenny: Yeah. She picked them up on the first place we stopped.

"Charlie's Angels: Pretty Angels All in a Row (#2.3)" (1977)
Ben Pawl: I made the phonecall, Mr. Bosley.
Bosley: Alright, we owe you a dime.

"Charlie's Angels: Angel on the Line (#5.10)" (1981)
Kelly Garrett: I won't let him make me run scared.
John Bosley: Kelly, if you're not scared, you should be.
Kelly Garrett: I'm scared, I'm just not running.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Springtime (#3.4)" (1978)
John Bosley: 'To err is human', Shakespeare said.
[coughs smugly]
Eve Perkins: I believe that was Alexander Pope, Mr. Bosley, but it doesn't apply to my aunt.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on a String (#1.15)" (1977)
John Bosley: Let me grasp this... You mean that you three will be frolicking about at some spa, shirking your responsibilities while I am here, sweating over a hot set of bookkeeping ledgers?
Sabrina Duncan: You like bookkeeping, Bosley!
[all three Angels head for the door]
John Bosley: Charlie, Charlie you mean you want me to pay them for doing nothing?

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Ice (#2.2)" (1977)
Sabrina Duncan: He calls it the blue people popper and he says it also spits out money.
John Bosley: Oh that's great, now we've got a drunk that sounds like a bad song supplying the clues.

"Charlie's Angels: Dancin' Angels (#4.18)" (1980)
John Bosley: Where's Tiffany?
Kelly Garrett: In the powder room. Something about a toe you stepped on during the tango.
John Bosley: Impossible.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels on Skates (#4.9)" (1979)
John Bosley: [wearing skaters protection] Well I never liked that recruiting bit, you know. Gert here is gonna give me a few pointers so I can join the action.
Gert: That's right. Put some glide in his stride.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in the Backfield (#2.17)" (1978)
John Bosley: Eh, look, eh, can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Pokey: Hey, you mean to drink?
John Bosley: Eh... yeah... it's good that way.

"Charlie's Angels: Lady Killer (#1.8)" (1976)
Sabrina Duncan: What about his hair? This secrecy's gone on long enough. How tall is Charlie?
Kelly Garrett: What color are his eyes?
John Bosley: Now, now ladies, you know I cannot divulge anything.
Jill Munroe: Could you at least tell us his shirt size? How else are we gonna get him a present for his birthday?
John Bosley: His birthday? Where were you when it was my birthday? Nobody asked about that, nobody!

"Charlie's Angels: Charlie's Angels (#1.0)" (1976)
John Bosley: I saw a Speckled Robin. Now that's the first one I've seen this far North in years.
Beau Creel: By any chance, did you see a Lying Swallow?
John Bosley: I don't believe I know the species.
Beau Creel: I'm looking at one.

"Charlie's Angels: Angels in Chains (#1.4)" (1976)
Linda Oliver: I just wanted to stop by and say thank you, while I was here for my interview.
Sabrina Duncan: Interview?
John Bosley: Yes, Charles thinks it's time that we hired a receptionist for our front.
Linda Oliver: I just hope I can measure up.
Jill Munroe: I don't think you have anything to worry about.
[puts on a sugar sweet voice]
Jill Munroe: Right, Charlie?
Charles Townsend: [on speaker phone] You took the words right out of my mouth, Jill, right out of my mouth.

"Charlie's Angels: Diamond in the Rough (#2.16)" (1978)
John Bosley: [fake posh English accent] And I warn you, my dear lady: my intentions are questionable. Oh yes, I fully intend to steal your famed recipe for baked papaya with grounded armadillo.

"Charlie's Angels: Homes $weet Homes (#4.17)" (1980)
John Bosley: [as Jacke Pickins] Would you call that fat boy and see if he can get my coffee over here without knocking me out of my chair?
Barry Kingsbrook: Waiter?