Rev. Graham Hess
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Quotes for
Rev. Graham Hess (Character)
from Signs (2002)

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Signs (2002)
Graham Hess: Don't be afraid.

[Morgan has an asthma attack]
Graham Hess: We don't have his medicine. Don't be afraid, Morgan. We'll slow this down together. Feel my chest. Feel it moving in and out. Breathe like me. Breathe like me. Come on.
Bo: I dreamed this.
Graham Hess: Stay with me. I know it hurts. Be strong baby. It'll pass. It'll pass.
[talking to God]
Graham Hess: Don't do this to me again. Not again. I hate you. I hate you! The fear is feeding him. Don't be afraid of what's happening. Believe it's going to pass. Believe it. Just wait. Don't be afraid. The air is coming. Believe. We don't have to be afraid. It's about to pass. Here it comes. Don't be afraid. Here comes the air. Don't be afraid, Morgan. Feel my chest. Breathe with me. Together. The air is going in our lungs. Together. We're the same. We're the same.
Merrill: We should save the flashlights.

Morgan: Maybe we should say a prayer.
Graham Hess: No.
Morgan: Why not?
Graham Hess: We're not saying a prayer.
Morgan: Bo has a bad feeling.
Bo: I had a dream.
Graham Hess: We aren't saying a prayer. Eat!
Morgan: I hate you.
Graham Hess: That's fine.
Morgan: You let Mom die.
Merrill: Morgan...
Graham Hess: I am not wasting one more minute of my life on prayer. Not one more minute. Understood?
[Bo starts crying]
Graham Hess: Now we are going to enjoy this meal. No one can stop us from enjoying this meal, so enjoy it! Stop crying!
Merrill: Graham...
Morgan: Don't yell at her!
Graham Hess: All right, since you're all not going to eat, I'm going to try some of everything.
[He angrily starts piling food on his plate, and tries to eat, then breaks down crying. He pulls Morgan, Bo, and Merrill in, and everyone hugs]

Officer Caroline: What kind of a machine bends a stalk of corn without breaking it?
Graham Hess: It can't be by hand, it's too perfect.

Graham Hess: Isabel, you are going to feel very silly when this turns out to be make-believe.

Graham Hess: People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?

Graham Hess: You're scaring your sister.
Bo: I'm already scared.

Graham Hess: Swing away Merrill. Merrill... swing away.

Colleen: Tell Morgan to play games, it's okay to be silly.
Graham Hess: I will.
Colleen: Tell Bo to listen to her brother. He'll always take care of her.
Graham Hess: I will.
Colleen: And tell Graham...
Graham Hess: I'm here.
Colleen: Tell Graham... see. Tell him to see. And tell Merrill to swing away.

Graham Hess: Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers are back.
Merrill: It's time for an ass-whupping.
Graham Hess: This is not an intelligent way to approach this. Lee is a friend of mine. This is his son.
Merrill: Yeah, we'll be doing Lee a favor. All right, listen, we both go outside, move around the house in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side.
Graham Hess: Explain "act crazy".
Merrill: You know, curse and stuff.
Graham Hess: You want me to curse?
Merrill: You don't mean it. It's just for show. What?
Graham Hess: Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
Merrill: Just make noises, then.
Graham Hess: Explain "noises".
Merrill: Are you gonna do this or what?
Graham Hess: No, I'm not.
Merrill: All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time?
[outside light comes on]
Merrill: On the count of three. One...
Graham Hess: All right.
Merrill: two... three!
Graham Hess: Ahh! I'm insane with anger!
Merrill: We're gonna beat your ass bitch! We're gonna tear your head off!
Graham Hess: I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!
[Merrill and Graham meet each other]
Graham Hess: I cursed.
Merrill: I heard.
[rustling on the roof]
Merrill: How did he get... Are you sure this is Lionel Prichard?

Graham Hess: It's happening.

Graham Hess: Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They're like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doin' it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
Graham Hess: Its just static, Morgan. Frequency.
[Weird noises come from the baby monitor]
Morgan: It's a code.
Bo: Why can't they get girlfriends?

Graham Hess: That's why he had asthma. It can't be luck. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed. No poison got in. No poison got in. His lungs were closed. His lungs were closed.
[Merrill checks for a pulse]
Graham Hess: Don't touch him. Give him a minute.
[Merrill starts crying]
Merrill: Graham...
Graham Hess: Give him a second.
Bo: Daddy...
Graham Hess: Don't touch him.
Merrill: Graham...
Graham Hess: Don't... Don't.
Morgan: Dad? What happened? Did someone save me?
[Graham starts crying]
Graham Hess: Yeah, baby, I think someone did.

Graham Hess: Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.

Graham Hess: I can't be sure, but I got the distinct feeling that it wanted to harm me.

Tracy Abernathy: I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse?
Graham Hess: I suppose it would depend on its usage.
Tracy Abernathy: How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?
Graham Hess: It's a curse.
Tracy Abernathy: Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

Graham Hess: I don't want any of you spending time with Tracy Abernathy alone. Understand?

[Upon discovering there is no longer a signal on the baby monitor]
Merrill: Good enough for me.
Graham Hess: Me too.

Graham Hess: There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone.

Graham Hess: Come on, now, you're too old to be doing this. You get a glass of water, and leave it lying around instead of finishing it. Now what's wrong with this one?
Bo: It has dust in it.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: A hair.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: Morgan took a sip and it's got his amoebas in it.

Graham Hess: See this is why we're not watching TV, people become obsessed.

Graham Hess: That's ridiculous. How can anyone possibly know that information? What else does it say?

Graham Hess: Caroline. I don't want you calling me 'Father' anymore.
Officer Caroline: What's wrong?
Graham Hess: I don't hear my children.

Graham Hess: You're wasting your time here. I'm not going to report this or anything you do to my crops to the police or news or anybody. You're not going to get famous.

Graham Hess: What are you thinking about?
Bo: Why do you talk to Mom when you're by yourself?
Graham Hess: Makes me feel better.
Bo: Does she ever answer back?
Graham Hess: No.
Bo: She never answers me either.

Graham Hess: We're going to board up every window in this house.
Merrill: How do you know boards will do anything?
Graham Hess: Because they seem to have trouble with pantry doors.

Graham Hess: My vote counts as two.
Morgan: That's bullshit. You're cheating.
Graham Hess: Morgan, calm down.
Morgan: We don't know anything yet...

Graham Hess: The police are here. I am with them. I am a police officer. I just want to talk with you. We know all about the hoax. We already took some of your friends downtown in a paddy wagon. Just tell us your name and why you did it, and we'll give you the same deal we gave the others. Don't throw your life away, son.

Morgan: They said there are one of two outcomes of an invasion. One: they fight, and are defeated, and have to return again with full forces hundreds or even thousands of years later.
Graham Hess: What's two?
Morgan: They win.

Graham Hess: Morgan, did this book of yours say what might happen if they were hostile?
Morgan: Yes, it said they would probably invade. They wouldn't use their technology, or fight in airborne battles, because they know eventually we would use nuclear weapons, and the planet would be useless to them.
Graham Hess: What else?
Morgan: It said there are two possible outcomes of an invasion. One, they fight and are defeated, and have to return with reinforcements. Hundreds, perhaps even thousands of years later.
Graham Hess: What's two?
Morgan: They win.

Morgan: If you're gonna make fun of it, then forget it.
Bo: This is serious.
Graham Hess: I don't know what got into me.
Morgan: There are pictures. Dr. Bimbu, one of the authors of the book...
Graham Hess: Bimbu?
Morgan: Dad!
Graham Hess: I just asked his name.
Morgan: You had a tone.

[Graham wakes in the morning and finds Merrill watching television in the cupboard under the stairs]
Merrill: For the kids' protection. They were watching the TV from 5am on. I didn't want them getting obsessed, like you said. They should be outside, playing Furry Furry Rabbit or tea party or something.
Graham Hess: What's Furry Furry rabbit?
Merrill: It's a game, isn't it?

Merrill: I'll make some sandwiches.
Bo: I want spaghetti.
Graham Hess: Spaghetti sounds great. What do you want, Morgan?
Morgan: Anything? French toast and mashed potatoes.
Graham Hess: Good choice. Merrill?
Merrill: Chicken Teriyaki.
Graham Hess: I'm gonna have a cheeseburger with bacon.
Graham Hess: Extra bacon.

Graham Hess: Looks a little like our house doesn't it?

Morgan: [all four member of the Hess family are in front of the tv, watching the lights from alien spaceships hover in the night sky] There are lights in over 274 cities. They think it'll be 400 within the hour. They're appearing at or within one mile of crop signs.
Merrill: [referring to the crop circle in their corn field] They were for navigation. They made a map. They're going to be within a mile of us.
Morgan: Dad!
Graham Hess: Yes?
Morgan: [quoting his new library book about aliens] I think these are stages immediately preceding an attack maneuver. I was wrong. They're hostile.
Merrill: It's like War of the Worlds.
TV Anchor: Ground forces have been assembled in countries throughout the globe. Hundreds of thousands have flocked to synagogues, temples, and churches. God be with us all.
Graham Hess: [about how he and Merrill have been nailing boards over every opening in the house] I'm going to get back to the windows.
Merrill: [Graham leaves and uncle Merill kneels beside the children] You guys okay?
Morgan: Some guy had a sign saying it was the end of the world.
Merrill: Don't worry.
Morgan: You won't let anything happen to us, right?
Merrill: No way.
Morgan: I wish you were my dad.
Merrill: What did you say? Don't you ever say anything like that again. Ever!
[Graham covers the window with another board]

Merrill: I'll make some sandwiches.
Bo: I want spaghetti.
Merrill: We'll just eat fast Bo.
Graham Hess: Spaghetti sounds great. What do you want Morgan?
Morgan: Anything. French toast... and mashed potatoes.
Graham Hess: Now we're talking. How about you, Merrill?
Merrill: Chicken teriyaki.
Graham Hess: Good choice. And I'm going to have a cheeseburger with bacon... extra bacon.

Morgan: [seeing his father staring at them in slight confusion as to why they have their heads wrapped in tinfoil] It's so the aliens can't read our minds.
Graham Hess: [in a placidly-resigned playing-along-and-almost-half-believing-it-himself-at-that-point tone] Oh - - oh, of course.