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: Maybe it was an iguana. Elliott
: It was *no* iguana. Michael
: Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers? Gertie
: Alligators in the sewers. Mary
: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened... Elliott
: I couldn't have imagined it! Michael
: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something. Gertie
: A deformed kid. Michael
] Maybe an elf or a leprechaun. Elliott
: It was nothing like that, penis-breath! Mary
: [laughs in shock
] *Elliot*! Sit down.
: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it, just call me and we'll have somebody come and take it away. Gertie
: Like the dogcatcher? Elliott
: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.
: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan. Elliott
: A bald monkey? Gertie
: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.
[Mary hits E.T. with the refrigerator door
: Here he is. Mary
] Here's who? Gertie
: The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already.
[after E.T. learns how to talk
: Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl and stay... Gertie
: Mama, he can talk! Mary
: [thinking she meant Elliot
] Of course he can talk. I'll be right back in ten minutes. Stay there.
: [saying good-bye
] Beeeeeee... gooood. Gertie
: It's your turn to do the dishes, fellas. Michael
: I set and cleared. Elliott
: [in a stern tone
] I set and cleared. Michael
] I did breakfast. Gertie
] I did breakfast. Michael
: [noticing how upset Mary is
] What's the matter, mom? Mary
: [leaves in tears, to herself, about her husband
] He HATES Mexico! Michael
: [to Elliot, furiously
] Damn it, why don't you - grow up and think how other people feel for a change!
[Elliot goes angry and does the dishes
: But, look, you can't tell. Not even Mom. Gertie
: Why not? Elliott
: Because, uh, grown-ups can't see him. Only little kids can see him. Gertie
: Give me a break! Elliott
: [Transylvanian accent
] Well, do you know what's going to happen if you do tell?
[Elliot grabs Gertie's doll and throw it to Michael
: Do it, Mike, we have to.
[Gertie begs the doll back as Elliott and Michael 'torture' it. They stop when Gertie vows to keep E.T. a secret
: [to Gertie
] Promise? Gertie
] Yes. Elliott
: [to Michael
] You promise?
: I don't like his feet. Elliott
: They're only feet, you little twerp.
: [seeing E.T. in a dress, with a wig and jewelry
] Oh, God! E.T.
: Elliot. Elliott
: [still too frustrated to notice he just spoke to him
] What? E.T.
: Elliot!... Elliot! Gertie
: I taught him how to talk now. He can talk now.
[Elliot sees electronics and supplies together in the closet
: Look what he brought up here all by himself. What's he need this stuff for? Elliott
: E.T., can you say that? Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T. E.T.
: Eeee Teee. Elliott
: [Elliot laughs in amazement
: [waddling away
] E.T.! E.T.! E.T.! Beee good. Gertie
: "Be good"! I taught him that, too! Elliott
: You should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. E.T.
: [gives Elliot a newspaper and points at a comic picture
] Phone. Elliott
: 'Phone'? He said 'phone'? He said 'phone'? Gertie
: Can't you understand English? He said 'phone'. E.T.
: [points to closet
] Home? Elliott
: You're right. That's E.T.'s home. E.T.
: [scurries over to the window and points his long finger towards it
] E.T. home phone. Gertie
] E.T. phone home. Elliott
: E.T. phone home.
[understanding what he means
: E.T. phone home! Gertie
: He wants to call somebody.
: What are you going as for Halloween? Elliott
: [Elliot is upset because nobody believes him
] I'm not going to stupid Halloween. Michael
: [to Elliot
] Why don't you go as a goblin? Elliott
] Shut up.