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Quotes for
Gertie (Character)
from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Michael: Maybe it was an iguana.
Elliott: It was *no* iguana.
Michael: Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?
Gertie: Alligators in the sewers.
Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened...
Elliott: I couldn't have imagined it!
Michael: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.
Gertie: A deformed kid.
Michael: [mockingly] Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.
Elliott: It was nothing like that, penis-breath!
Mary: [laughs in shock] *Elliot*! Sit down.

Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it, just call me and we'll have somebody come and take it away.
Gertie: Like the dogcatcher?
Elliott: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.

Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.
Elliott: A bald monkey?
Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.

[Mary hits E.T. with the refrigerator door]
Gertie: Here he is.
Mary: [absently] Here's who?
Gertie: The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already.

[after E.T. learns how to talk]
Mary: Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl and stay...
Gertie: Mama, he can talk!
Mary: [thinking she meant Elliot] Of course he can talk. I'll be right back in ten minutes. Stay there.

E.T.: [saying good-bye] Beeeeeee... gooood.
Gertie: [tearfully] Yes.

Mary: It's your turn to do the dishes, fellas.
Michael: I set and cleared.
Elliott: [in a stern tone] I set and cleared.
Michael: [quickly] I did breakfast.
Gertie: [solemnly] I did breakfast.
Michael: [noticing how upset Mary is] What's the matter, mom?
Mary: [leaves in tears, to herself, about her husband] He HATES Mexico!
Michael: [to Elliot, furiously] Damn it, why don't you - grow up and think how other people feel for a change!
[Elliot goes angry and does the dishes]

Elliott: But, look, you can't tell. Not even Mom.
Gertie: Why not?
Elliott: Because, uh, grown-ups can't see him. Only little kids can see him.
Gertie: Give me a break!
Elliott: [Transylvanian accent] Well, do you know what's going to happen if you do tell?
[Elliot grabs Gertie's doll and throw it to Michael]
Elliott: Do it, Mike, we have to.
[Gertie begs the doll back as Elliott and Michael 'torture' it. They stop when Gertie vows to keep E.T. a secret]
Elliott: [to Gertie] Promise?
Gertie: [distressed] Yes.
Elliott: [to Michael] You promise?
[Michael nods]

Gertie: I don't like his feet.
Elliott: They're only feet, you little twerp.

Elliott: [seeing E.T. in a dress, with a wig and jewelry] Oh, God!
E.T.: Elliot.
Elliott: [still too frustrated to notice he just spoke to him] What?
E.T.: Elliot!... Elliot!
Gertie: I taught him how to talk now. He can talk now.
[Elliot sees electronics and supplies together in the closet]
Gertie: Look what he brought up here all by himself. What's he need this stuff for?
Elliott: E.T., can you say that? Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T.
E.T.: Eeee Teee.
Elliott: [Elliot laughs in amazement]
E.T.: [waddling away] E.T.! E.T.! E.T.! Beee good.
Gertie: "Be good"! I taught him that, too!
Elliott: You should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
E.T.: [gives Elliot a newspaper and points at a comic picture] Phone.
Elliott: 'Phone'? He said 'phone'? He said 'phone'?
Gertie: Can't you understand English? He said 'phone'.
E.T.: [points to closet] Home?
Elliott: You're right. That's E.T.'s home.
E.T.: [scurries over to the window and points his long finger towards it] E.T. home phone.
Gertie: [clarifying] E.T. phone home.
Elliott: E.T. phone home.
[understanding what he means]
Elliott: E.T. phone home!
Gertie: He wants to call somebody.

Gertie: What are you going as for Halloween?
Elliott: [Elliot is upset because nobody believes him] I'm not going to stupid Halloween.
Michael: [to Elliot] Why don't you go as a goblin?
Elliott: [flatly] Shut up.