No Photo Available
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Mr. Toad (Character)
from The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Wind in the Willows (1987) (TV)
[repeated line]
Mr. Toad: It's the only way to travel.

Mr. Toad: [singing] Whether a Ford or a Ferrari, whatever I can get to carry me near or far, just give me any car. I love to ride the Tar, an old Excalibar; yes, any motor car. And I'll be happy - ho-ho! Messing around in cars!

Mr. Toad: Oh, what dust clouds I shall make! What carts I shall fling into the ditch!
Ratty: [sternly] Toad, come down here!
Mr. Toad: As you wish, Ratty.

Badger: We're attacking Toad Hall tonight.
Mr. Toad: Right! Oh! Oh, with armies, and navies, and...
Badger: No, no, no, just *ourselves*.
Mr. Toad: [sadly] A bit of a comedown on that. Hmm. We'll never get past the sentries.
Ratty: We are *not* going PAST them! We are going unnnnnder them.
Moley: Gonna use the secret tunnel to Toad Hall.
Mr. Toad: Splendid idea!

Mr. Toad: [driving his motor paddleboat] Make way! Make way for Captain Toad of Toad Hall!

Mr. Toad: My friends... the Toad has come home. There was smashing of the windows and crashing of the doors. There was crying of the weasels that fainted on the floor when the Toad came home. Shout "Hooray" - for Mr. Toad. Sound your horns, fire the cannons, shout "Hooray", for it's Toad's grrrrreat day!

[first lines]
Mr. Toad: Oh... was there ever such a yachtsman as Mr. Toad?
[camera flash, followed by a puff of smoke]
Mr. Toad: Never!

Mr. Toad: As penance, I shall build you a new boat. An-and wear the washerwoman's dress to the end of my miserable day.
[seeing the hatrack empty, but still peering around it]
Mr. Toad: Hello, where is it? I-I left it hanging right here.
Ratty: The dress? Oh, Mole took it out before.
Mr. Toad: Mole? Really? Hm, didn't think him the type.

Moley: Ah dear, ther-there's no bread. An-and no butter!
Mr. Toad: No bread? But I distinctly recall purchasing several crisp baguettes this morning, along with some marvelous French "beurre", butter to you.
Ratty: [going inside the wagon] Wouldn't it be in there, right next to the pate de foie gras?

Mr. Toad: [sitting in his prison cell, moping] Ohhh - Oh no, that's the end of everything. Or at least the end of my career, which is the same thing. I should have listened to my friends.
[starts sobbing]
Mr. Toad: Oh! Oh wise old Badger, uh - oh clever, intelligent Rat, oh sensible Mole - oh stupid, unhappy, and forsaken Toad! Who was once so free, so careless, an-and so debonair!
[continues sobbing until the jailer and his daughter appear at his cell door]

Ratty: [rummaging through the wagon for pate de foie gras] Not only is there not any pate de foie gras, there's no champagne!
[peering out the wagon door towards Toad, calls to him accusingly]
Ratty: [scoffs] *You* have forgotten everything!
Mr. Toad: Oh, surely there's *something*.
Moley: There's *nothing*!
Ratty: It would be easier to say what we *don't* have.

Mr. Toad: You'll be happy to know: I'm giving up the sea. It's beginning to bore me.

Mr. Toad: [as he vivaciously drives the motorcar he stole previously, laughs] Washerwoman indeed! I am the toad! The car snatcher, the prison breaker, the toad who always escapes! Sit still, and you'll know what driving *really* is!

Mr. Toad: [after he is thrown into a tree when his car crashes into it; he is holding his steering wheel] What a magnificent climax, for a superb machine.
[chuckles as he tosses his steering wheel down, then climbs down]
Mr. Toad: Must order another one before winter comes.

Mr. Toad: Hmm, didn't think I'd end up with two fussy eaters.

Mr. Toad: I say, Rat, forget writing poetry?
[chuckles]
Mr. Toad: Let's race!
Ratty: Not today, Mr. Toad.
Mr. Toad: [as Ratty rows away] Oh, spoilsport.

Mr. Toad: Shall we have some dinner? Filet mignon, crepes, lobster, and Peking duck?
Ratty: There's a banquet for you. I know some animals who would give their ears to be sitting down to supper with us tonight.

Badger: Tonight, we'll make our way throught the tunnel, bypass the sentries, and come up on the pantry next to the dining hall.
Mr. Toad: The squeaky board in the pantry.
Badger: Right. And thanks to Mole, they'll be thinking that *hundreds* are attacking. We'll clear them out of Toad Hall in five minutes.

Mr. Toad: [after he is ordered to jump from the train to escape the police who try to pursue him due to his escape from prison; he laughs triumphantly] It's very late.
[curls up]
Mr. Toad: Mm, quite cold and - oh, very dark. No money. No food. What was I laughing about?

Mr. Toad: Wonderful! Spellbinding!
[chuckles]
Mr. Toad: Outrageously magnificent! Was there ever such a master of motorcars as Toad of Toad Hall?

Mr. Toad: [chuckles] Brain against brute force!

Mr. Toad: Is something bothering you chaps?
Badger: You will come with me into the library. You will hear the hard facts about yourself.
[grabs Toad in one arm, then advances toward the library door and opens it]
Badger: We'll see if you come out of that room in the same Toad as you went in. Brother Toad, sit down.
[tosses Toad onto a chair]
Mr. Toad: Ow!
Badger: Prepare to repent for your follies.

Mr. Toad: [singing] When I'm messing around in cars, the world is apple pie. When I'm messing around in cars, I'm quite another guy. When I'm messing around in cars, when I'm messing around in cars, I'm in the stars when I'm messing around... around in caaaaaars! Ho-ho, let's go!

Badger: [to the weasels, who are mopping the banquet hall to prepare for Toad's victory banquet] And make sure you get it spotless; everything must be just so for Toad's victory banquet.
Mr. Toad: But why must I have a banquet?
Badger: It's expected of you; it's the rule!
Mr. Toad: It's short-noticed. But I can whip up an interesting program, I'm sure.
[chuckles briefly]
Mr. Toad: I could give several speeches of course.
Moley: [as he and Badger shake their heads] No.
Mr. Toad: And address on our prison system?
[Ratty shakes his head]
Mr. Toad: A lecture on the techniques of escaping?
Badger: No speeches.
Mr. Toad: Just one little speech?
Ratty: *No*! Your speeches are all conceit and *boasting*, and...
Badger: And gas.
Mr. Toad: Oh, I know then, a short song.
[Badger, Ratty, and Moley shake their heads in unison]
Mr. Toad: Ah, very well. In sport, I - I will be a very different toad. But oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh, this is a haaaard world...


The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
Mr. Toad: Come along! Hop up here! We'll go for a jolly ride! The open road! The dusty highway! Come! I'll show you the world! Travel! Scene! Excitement! Ha ha ha!

Mr. Toad: We'll go for a jolly ride!
[begins to jump rope on the rump of his horse with his buggy whip]

Mr. Toad: [in court giving his defence] Are you familiar with the defendant J. Thaddeus Toad?
Cyril Proudbottom: Lord love a duck, yes! He's one of the jolliest chaps I've ever run across! And simply *tons* of money!
Prosecutor: [to Cyril] Good fellow, eh? Throws it away... BUT he wasn't throwing it away *that* day! You heard Mr. McBadger's testify that his allowance was cut off! Then how did he get the motorcar?
Cyril Proudbottom: The only way a gentlemen gets anything; the *honest* way.
Prosecutor: And *what* is the honest way?
Cyril Proudbottom: Haha, I thought you wouldn't know that one, guv'nor.
[Everyone laughs]

[Toad enters Rat and Mole's house and faints]
Mole: Why... it's a poor old lady. Let's move her over by the fire.
[They move Toad, then his chain ball lands on Rat's foot]
Rat: Oww! Toad! What are you doing here?
Mr. Toad: Well, I just, um... sort of...
Mole: Well, this is a merry Christmas... but aren't you afraid of the police?
Mr. Toad: Afraid of the police?
[laughs]
Mr. Toad: I? Toad? Afraid of the police?
[laughs more. Then a loud knock and yelling comes from the door]
Angus MacBadger: [from behind the door] OPEN UP! OPEN UP, I SAY!
Mr. Toad: THE POLICE!

[During his trial, Mr. Toad summons a witness: Winky the barman who had taken possession of Toad Hall in exchange for the car]
Mr. Toad: [to the courtroom] Milord, gentlemen, facing you in the witness box is a citizen of substance and stance; a man of unimpeachable honesty.
[to Winky]
Mr. Toad: Now, Mr. Winky, do you recall an incident that took place in your establishment, about August the 12th, that I was a party to?
Winky: Oh, yes, sir. That I do, sir.
Mr. Toad: Well, then, just tell the court what actually happened.
Winky: Well, gov'nor, you tried to sell me a stolen motorcar.
[Mr. Toad is surrounded by the guards]
Cyril Proudbottom: [yelling at Winky] That's a deliberate lie, you mooky-faced little mouthbox!

[Rat and Mole have interrupted Toad's rampage with Cyril and the cart]
Rat: Toad, we want to have a talk with you.
Mr. Toad: Oh, a visit? Splendid.
Rat: Toad, this is serious. You've got to give up that horse and cart.
Mr. Toad: [in disbelief] Give up my... Oh, but my dear Ratty, this is my career. Surely, you can't mean it.
Rat: I do mean it. You've got to stop this foolishness.
Mr. Toad: No.
Rat: You must!
Mr. Toad: No, I won't do it!
Rat: Your reckless is behavior is giving us animals a bad name.
Mr. Toad: I won't listen to anything!
[he covers his ears and everything Rat says is softened, but whenever he removes his hands from his ears, Rat speaks louder]
Rat: Your thoughts are becoming a menace to society. If you won't think of yourself, then think of poor old MacBadger. And as for that horse, no good could ever come from galloping about with such a fast and irresponsible beast.
[when he hears this last part, Cyril covers his ears with his ears. Toad laughs]

Angus MacBadger: [whispering] Careful, lads. There's a guard.
[Toad whips out a rifle]
Mr. Toad: [shouts] I'll pop him off!

Mr. Toad: Gad! What is it?
Cyril Proudbottom: Lumme, Guv'nor! It's a motorcar.
Mr. Toad: Motorcar?
[the motorcar passes by, knocking the cart over and leaving Toad on the ground]
Mr. Toad: A motorcar. Gad! What have I been missing.
[Starts making car noises]

Mr. Toad: I want you fellows to meet my noble steed, Cyril.
Cyril Proudbottom: Aye, that's me.
[Clicks tongue]
Cyril Proudbottom: A bit of a trotter, a bit of a rotter. How do you do, how do you do, how do you DO?
Rat: [lifting his hat] How do you do?
Cyril Proudbottom: [to Toad] Say, gov'nor, your friends appear to be on the stuffy side, what?
[Toad laughs]

[Toad is acting like a motorcar. His friends blame it on his mania for cars and grab him and drag him home]
Narrator: Mania, that's it. That's what it was, a positive mania. No telling where it would end, either; it may linger for months, and with Toad Hall at stake.
[Toad's friends have successfully escorted him to his room in his home at Toad Hall]
Narrator: Well, they had no choice. There was only one thing to do: lock the poor chap in his chamber and keep him there until the poison worked out of his system.
[Rat and Mole dress Toad in his nightclothes and throw water over him to stop his acting like a car]
Mole: [after Toad stops] That's better.
Rat: [to Toad] And you can't escape, you know. Simply no use trying.
[They shut the door and lock it. Toad pounds on the door and tugs on it, trying to open it]
Mr. Toad: Let me outta here! Open up! Open up, I say! Please, Ratty, Moley, open the door!
Narrator: Now, of course, playing jailer to one's dearest friend wasn't much of an enjoyable experience. In fact, Moley weakened right at the start and wanted to call it quits, but Ratty said, "No. Definitely not." This time they must be firm. After all, it wasn't just a matter of saving Toad from himself. There was MacBadger to consider, and Toad Hall and all that it stood for.

Mr. Toad: A motorcar! Gad... what have I been missing?
[Toad, having just seen a motorcar go by him, is so enraptured by it that he starts making noises and moving around like a car]
Mole: Ratty! It isn't. He hasn't!
Rat: It is, and he has it: a new mania. Motor mania!

Mr. Toad: [frantically to Rat thinking the police are at the door] Hide me! Hide me, Ratty!
Rat: Sorry, Toad, but you owe a debt to society, and you've got to pay. Mole, let them in.

Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, I've just made a very important discovery.
[as he speaks, we cut to Toad Hall, where Winky and the weasels are living now]
Angus MacBadger: Toad Hall is ablaze with lights. And in possession, a pack of weasels. And the leader of the gang is none other than Mister...
Weasels: Winky!
[Winky shows he has the deed to Toad Hall]
Weasels: Hip hip hooray!
[end of flashback]
Angus MacBadger: And so you see, he DID trade Toad Hall for the motorcar.
Rat: Then, Toad was innocent all the time.
Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, and if only he were here right now...
[Toad, who was clinging to the top of the Christmas tree, suddenly falls into MacBadger's arms]
Angus MacBadger: Toad!
Mr. Toad: [happily] Angus!
Rat: Sorry, Toad. I misjudged you.
Mole: I hope, someday, you'll find it in your heart...
Mr. Toad: Tut, tut. Not another word. To err is human to forgive...
Angus MacBadger: [dropping Toad on the ground] Thaddeus, not so fast! You're still guilty in the eyes of the law. To prove your innocence, we've got to get that paper away from Winky! Now, I have a plan. We'll sneak in through the secret tunnel...


The Wind in the Willows (1983/I) (TV)
Badger: Do you mean to say you *don't* promise never to touch a motorcar again?
Toad: On the contrary! I *faithfully* promise that the first motor car I see...
[puts on his driving goggles]
Toad: Poop-poop!

Toad: [flags down Reggie, the motorist] I say, I wonder if you could help me. Having a spot of bother with me car.
Reggie: Oh? Wh-wh-what sort of bother?
Toad: Um... em... it's the... uh... crankshaft... it's um... flat.
Reggie: Really? Ah ha... I should be able to fix that.
Reggie's Wife: Oh, shall I come too Reggie?
[gets out of the car]
Reggie: Uh. Wh-wh-wh-where's your machine?
Toad: [gestures to a spot behind him] Oh... it's over there. If you'd just take a look at it?
Reggie: Oh c-certainly old bean. Anything for a fellow motorist.
[as soon as they move away from their car, Mr. Toad gets in, puts it in gear and drives away]
Reggie: Oh, I say!
[they see Mr. Toad driving down the road erratically, laughing, honking the horn]
Reggie's Wife: Oh. Reggie.

Mole: [after crashing his second car] You know, I really am worried about Toad.
Rat: Oh, don't you worry. It's just another one of his passions. He'll grow out of it.
Toad: [off in the distance] Poop-poop!
Rat: I hope.

Toad: [having just overflown his friends in his new airplane] Ha ha! Hello you fellows!
Rat: You maniac!
Badger: LOCK HIM UP!
Mole: Toad! This time you've gone too far!
Toad: Hang motoring! This is the life!

Reggie: [giving his statement to the Police Office about his stolen car] A fellow there flagged me down, cobbled a story about a "flat crankshaft." Well, so I help a fellow motorist, go out, galloped away! Th-the chap's a damn frog!
Toad: [hears noises. All three turn to see Toad in Reggie's car, still honking the horn and making car noises] Poop-poop!
Reggie: I say!
Toad: [Toad roars past, knocking the police officer and his bicycle over, and Reggie into the arms of his wife] Wha-wha-hey hey-hey!
[to the officer]
Toad: Fat face!


Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (1996)
Toad: [imitating the motor-car] Poop poop!

The Jailer's Daughter: I made bubble-and-squeak.
Toad: What do I care for the pleasures of the flesh!
The Jailer's Daughter: I'll take it away, then...
Toad: No! We wouldn't want to waste it.

Toad: [singing] Oh, the clever men at Oxford/ knows all there is to be knowed/ but nobody knows as half as much as clever old Mr. Toad! The world's held greatest heroes/ as history books have showed/ but never a name, went down to fame/ compared to that of Toad! Oh, the army all saluted/ as he marched along the road...
The Sun: ...Was it the king or the president?...
Toad: ...No, it was Mr. Toad!


The Wind in the Willows (1995) (TV)
Toad: Poop, Poop! Oh, poetry of motion! Ohh, the bliss! Ohhh... poop, poop!

[Mr. Toad has given up his obsession with gypsy caravans and began a whole brand new obsession for motor cars in short order; after a near head on collision with a speeding motorcar]
Mole: What are we to do with him?
Rat: [takes out his pipe; curtly and through his teeth, while smoking his pipe] Nothing...
Rat: *AT* ALL!
Toad: [imitating a motorcar] Phoot!

[Badger, Rat and Mole are trying to persuade Toad to give up his outrageous, and dangerous obsession of motorcars]
Toad: [jumping on the couch; freaking out by his unridden car being taken away before his eyes] What is this? My car! My Beautiful car!
[he faces Badger]
Toad: [upset] Badger, what have you done?
Badger: Take those clothes off at once!
Toad: [impudent; bouncing on the couch in protest] *Shan't!* Shan't, shan't, shan't, shan't!
Badger: [to Rat and Mole] Take 'em off him!
[Mole and Rat strip Toad from his driving clothes, till he is only wearing his white undershirt and red white-polka dot patterned underpants]