The Cowardly Lion
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Quotes for
The Cowardly Lion (Character)
from The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Cowardly Lion: [noticing the snow that fallen on the poppy field] Unusual weather we're having, ain't it?

Cowardly Lion: All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellows to do.
Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What's that?
Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it!

Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman: Courage!
Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh?

Cowardly Lion: I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I *do*!
Wicked Witch of the West: Ah! You'll believe in more than that before I'm finished with you.

Cowardly Lion: Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first? I'll fight you both together if you want. I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight you standing on one foot. I'll fight you with my eyes closed... ohh, pullin' an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I'll... Ruff!

Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!
Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?
Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!
Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?
Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophane!
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the forest!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Who rang that bell?
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [all four together] We did!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Can't you read?
Scarecrow: Read what?
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: The notice!
Dorothy: What notice?
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...
[does a "tisk tisk tisk" expression, goes inside door for a moment]
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [Guardian hangs the notice and goes back inside]
Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [Reading notice, all together] Bell out of order, please knock.
[Dorothy knocks]
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!
Dorothy: [Dorothy and friends, all together] We want to see the Wizard!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [gasps] The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!
Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, you're wasting my time!
[starts to close the window]
Dorothy: Oh, please! Please, sir! I've got to see the Wizard! The Good Witch of the North sent me!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Prove it!
Scarecrow: She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave her.
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!

Scarecrow: What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? Or the courage you promised Lion?
Tin Woodsman, Cowardly Lion: And Scarecrow's brain?

Cowardly Lion: I- I- I hope my strength holds out.
Tin Woodsman: [hanging by Lion's tail] I hope your tail holds out!

Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!
Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.
[sobs]
Cowardly Lion: Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks!
Tin Woodsman: Why don't you try counting sheep?
Cowardly Lion: That doesn't do any good, I'm afraid of 'em.
[sobs loud]
Scarecrow: Aw, that's too bad.

[the Cowardly Lion has just received a Courage Medal from the Wizard of Oz]
Cowardly Lion: Shucks, folks, I'm speechless. Ha Ha!

Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee.
[Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose]
Dorothy: Shame on you!
Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him.
Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but picking on a little dog.
Cowardly Lion: Well, you didn't have to go and hit me! Is my nose bleeding?
Dorothy: Of course not.

Cowardly Lion: [singing] If I were king of the fore-e-e-est / Not queen, not duke, not prince / My regal robes of the fore-e-e-est / Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz / I'd command each thing, whether fish or fowl / With a r-r-ruff and a r-r-ruff, and a royal growl - R-R-Ruff! / As I click my heels / All the trees would kneel / And the mountains bow / And the bulls kowtow / And the sparrow would take wing / If I, if I were ki-i-i-i-ng! / The rabbits would show respect to me / The chipmunks genuflect to me / Though my tail would lash / I would show compash / For every underling / If I, if I were king / Just ki-i-i-i-ing!

Tin Woodsman: Here, here. Go away and let us alone.
Cowardly Lion: Oh, scared, huh? Afraid, huh? Ah, how long can you stay fresh in that can? Ha ha ha ha.

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'm afraid there's no denyin' / I'm just a dandy-lion / A fate I don't deserve / I'm sure I could show my prowess / Be a lion, not a mouse / If I only had the nerve.

Dorothy: Goodbye, Tinman. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.
Tin Woodsman: Now I know I've got a heart, 'cause it's breaking...
Dorothy: Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to hollar for help before you found your courage.
Cowardly Lion: I never would've found it if it hadn't been for you...
Dorothy: [to Scarecrow] I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard!
[goes over to the Scarecrow]
Cowardly Lion: And put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!
Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion.
Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.
Scarecrow: Well, what's wrong with you teaching him?
Tin Woodsman: Well, I hardly know him.

Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, ya shivering junkyard! Put your hands up, ya lopsided bag o' hay!
Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion!
Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.
Scarecrow: W-w-what's wrong with y-y-you teaching him?
Tin Woodsman: W-w-well, I hardly know him.

Cowardly Lion: [getting a panic attack walking into the Wizard's foyer] Wait a minute, Fellows. I was just thinking. I really don't want to see the Wizard this much. I'd better wait for you outside.
Scarecrow: What's the matter?
Tin Woodsman: Oh, he's just a scared again.
Dorothy: Don't you know the Wizard's going to give you some courage?
Cowardly Lion: I'd be too scared to ask him for it.
[sobs]
Dorothy: Well then, we'll ask him for you.
Cowardly Lion: I'd sooner wait outside.
Dorothy: Why? Why?
Cowardly Lion: Because I'm still scared.
[sobs]

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...
Tin Woodsman: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...
Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...
Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.
Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...
Tin Woodsman: [singing] A heart...
Dorothy: [singing] A home...
Cowardly Lion: [singing] The nerve!

Cowardly Lion: Read what my medal says: "Courage". Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?

Cowardly Lion: [to Toto who is barking at him] I'll get you anyway Pee Wee!


"The Angry Video Game Nerd: The Wizard of Oz (#3.4)" (2008)
The Cowardly Lion: With a nuck and a ruff and a fuck and a fuck!
The Angry Video Game Nerd: Hey man, did you just swear?
The Cowardly Lion: Yeah yeah, fuck you, fuck you, dick, dick, dick, huh huh huh huh.

The Cowardly Lion: Wipe your ass with Toto.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Now, what the fuck? How am I supposed to get under this flame?
The Cowardly Lion: Piss on it.

The Cowardly Lion: Oh, a balloon.
The Angry Video Game Nerd: Yeah, the animation's stunning.
The Cowardly Lion: Looks like a ball sac.

The Cowardly Lion: What's that green thing?
The Angry Video Game Nerd: I don't know. Oh, that big emerald is a door?
The Cowardly Lion: Yeah, yeah, what are you, stupid?

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Once you get the two keys, that's it. No end boss or anything special.
The Cowardly Lion: Oh that sucks.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: It's the last stage in the game.
The Cowardly Lion: Thank fucking God.


The Wiz Live! (2015) (TV)
Dorothy Gale: At least this forest is a nice home.
Tin-Man: Yeah, and you still got your heart.
Scarecrow: And a brain.
The Cowardly Lion: But what's the use of all that if you ain't got the courage to get up outta bed?

The Cowardly Lion: Now, that ol' witch is deathly afraid of water. She don't even bathe! She sends herself out once a week for dry cleanin'.

The Cowardly Lion: I'm just a big, ole scaredy-cat. That's all I'm ever gonna be. I tried getting help from this old owl, but all he did is make me lie down on a couch, ask me a bunch 'a silly questions like, "What do you want?", "Why are you here?", "What do think this means?" I said, "I think this means you ripped me off, 'cause I gave you money, but you ain't givin' me nothin'!"
Dorothy Gale: You poor thing!
The Cowardly Lion: Great, now I got little girls pityin' me.

Dorothy Gale: You mean the Wiz is...
The Cowardly Lion: ...a fraud!
Tin-Man: And a woman!
Dorothy Gale: And what's wrong with bein' a woman?
Tin-Man: Uh, nothin'...
Dorothy Gale: That's right! Nothin' wrong with bein' a woman. I don't know where y'all fools learned y'all manners.

Tin-Man: So, that's all there is to it? You just click your heels three times, and you get to go home.
Scarecrow: It makes no sense, so it must be so. You know, the truth is like that.
The Cowardly Lion: But if that's true, then you never would've had to battle Evillene, or the Wiz! Or even meet me.
Scarecrow: Or me.
Tin-Man: Or me.
Dorothy Gale: Oh, I wouldn't have missed meeting you for anything! Promise you'll remember me?
[Lion nods yes, then Dorothy kisses him on the cheek]
Dorothy Gale: Keep me in your heart.
[Tin Man kisses Dorothy's hand]
Dorothy Gale: Let me now and then come to mind.
[Scarecrow and Dorothy hug]
Dorothy Gale: Maybe, just maybe, if I hold on to these Shoes, they'll lead me back to you someday!
Tin-Man: Please try.
Dorothy Gale: I will. But right now, I think I hear Aunt Em callin'.


The Wiz (1978)
Lion: [singing after Tinman revives him from the Poppy's spell] How high the moon, zo za zo zo zay.
[chuckles]
Lion: [snorts] W'us han'in', babe?

Scarecrow: Now I'll never get my brain!
Tinman: Nor my heart.
Lion: Or my courage
Dorothy: But you don't need them now because you've had them all the time. Scarecrow, you're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made, didn't you? Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man, you have more heart than anyone I've ever known.
Tinman: [hopeful] Honest?
Dorothy: Yeah, you never needed anything from the fake wizard, anyway.

Lion: [Strung up by his tail in Evilene's lair] Don't give her the slippers, Dorothy!
Evillene: Is this enough for you? No? Well, how about your metal friend over there?
Tinman: [a giant piledriver begins to flatten him] Don't worry, Dorothy! I'm just an empty shell! This doesn't hurt me!

Lion: Mamma would be so proud - goin' to see da WIZ!
[preens]
Lion: My momma used to say ta me, Fleet -...
Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: FLEET?
Lion: That's my name: Fleetwood Coupe de Ville!
Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: [snickers]
Lion: Momma had high ideals...
Tinman: Yeah!
Lion: - Y'know what I mean?
Tinman: Yeah!
[Lion and Tin Man high-five]
Tinman: Ha hah!

Lion: Lion is playing with his tail and then says They kicked me out on IOBK
Tinman: What is IOBK?
Lion: Incapable of being King


"Tin Man: Into the Storm (#1.1)" (2007)
DG: Hey, you wanna come closer to the fire? Warm up?
Raw: Shoulda left me to die.
Glitch: Oh great, a basket-case!

Raw: [about Cain] Brave man. Good man. Tin Man.
Glitch: Oh, I mighta known you were a Tin Man, what with that attitude!
DG: What's a Tin Man?
Glitch: It-It's what they call policemen in Central City.
[hesitates]
Glitch: At least, I think it is.

Glitch: [happily] Hey, there's that guy who locked up Cain.
[gasps, scared]
Raw: We go now.
Glitch: We've gotta get outta here.
DG: No, I'm not leaving until I get my answers.


"Tin Man: Search for the Emerald (#1.2)" (2007)
Raw: [pointing] Cabin.
Glitch: Probably full of Longcoats.
Cain: No, look at the smoke.
Glitch: So? They lit a fire. Longcoats get cold, too.
Cain: It's *blue*.

Glitch: [looking at their wanted poster] That is a *terrible* picture of me.
Raw: [nods in agreement] Mm-hmm.


"Tin Man: Tin Man (#1.3)" (2007)
Glitch: This is all my fault. If I hadn't thought of my machine in the first place, she never would have been able to twist it.
Raw: Yeah.

Alchemist: [with a cow prod] You never understood! All you people need is encouragement!
Raw: [takes the cow prod] RAW JUST NEED COURAGE!
[zaps the Alchemist]


The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003) (V)
Cowardly Lion: My mother was right; I should have opened an antique store and attended daily affirmation classes!


"Fame: Not in Kansas Anymore (#2.19)" (1983)
Cowardly Lion: My sword is so fast...
[pause]
Tin Man, Scarecrow: How fast is it?
Cowardly Lion: My sword is so fast, I can cut classes, you won't even know I'm gone!


The Oz Witch Project (1999)
[Dorothy begins singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"]
Cowardly Lion: Don't you even fucking start!


"The Wizard of Oz" (1990)
Cowardly Lion: Ow!
Dorothy: [pulling thorns out of his backside] Hold still, Lion. You're such a big baby.
Tin Woodman: You just have to grin and bear it.
Cowardly Lion: I'm not a bear, and I don't feel like grinning. Ow!
Scarecrow: Well, you shouldn't have sat down on these, and why do you think they call them prickly pumpkins?
Cowardly Lion: I thought maybe they were just disagreeable.