Jasper
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Quotes for
Jasper (Character)
from Children of Men (2006)

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Children of Men (2006)
Jasper: Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for.

Jasper: Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance.
[offers Miriam a joint]
Miriam: Maybe I shouldn't.
Jasper: You already did. Take another one. Now cough. What do you taste?
Miriam: Strawberries!
Jasper: Strawberries? That's what it's called: Strawberry Cough!
Kee: Wicked!
Jasper: So. You've got faith over here, right? And chance over there.
Miriam: Like yin and yang.
Jasper: Sort of.
Miriam: Or Shiva and Shakti.
Jasper: Lennon and McCartney!
Kee: [looking at pictures] Look, Julian and Theo.
Jasper: Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protestors in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.
Kee: [picks up another photo] This is him?
Jasper: Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.
Miriam: "Praxis"? What happened?
Jasper: Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices?
Kee: Baby's got Theo's eyes.
Jasper: Yeah.
Miriam: Oh, boy. That's terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason.
Jasper: That, I don't know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.

Jasper: Pull my finger!

Jasper: Here try this.
[hands him a joint]
Theodore Faron: [Takes a puff] Yea, now what?
Jasper: Cough!
Theodore Faron: Cough?
Jasper: Yes cough!
[Theo coughs once, then starts to cough repeatedly]
Jasper: You taste it? It tastes like strawberries!

Jasper: What did you do for your birthday?
Theodore Faron: Nothing.
Jasper: Oh come on, you must have done something.
Theodore Faron: Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
Jasper: That's called a hangover, Amigo.

Jasper: Shantih, Shantih, Shantih!

Jasper: I'm glad you don't take cream or sugar Amigo, losing you and Baby Diego in the same day... would be too hard to bare.
Theodore Faron: Well that was even worse, everybody crying. I mean... Baby Diego? Come on, the guy was a wanker!
Jasper: Yeah, but he was the -youngest- wanker on Earth!

Jasper: So, the Human Project is havin' this dinner and all the wisest men in the world are there...
Theodore Faron: [scoffing] Human Project, why do people believe this crap? You know even if these people existed with these facilities in these secret locations, fuck me, that's strong! Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, doesn't matter! Too late. World went to shit. Know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for fuck's sake.
Jasper: [taking a puff off the joint] I was just tryin' to tell a joke, man.
Theodore Faron: Oh, I'm sorry, go on.
Jasper: No, I'm not tellin' it now!
Theodore Faron: No, c'mon Jasper, go on!
Jasper: No, fuck it! I'm not tellin' it to you!
Theodore Faron: C'mon, I'm sorry!
Jasper: Ok, the Human Project gives this great, big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They're tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery: why are all the women infertile? Why can't we make babies anymore? So, some say it's genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution, same ol', same ol'. So, anyway, in the corner, this Englishman's sitting, he hasn't said a word, he's just tuckin' in his dinner. So, they decide to ask him, they say, "Well, why do you think we can't make babies anymore?" And he looks up at 'em, he's chewin' on this great big wing and he says "I haven't the faintest idea," he said, "but this stork is quite tasty isn't he?"