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: Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.
: [referring to Annette
] She's really getting to you, isn't she? Sebastian
: If you must know, yes. I can't stand that holier-than-thou bullshit, and yet, I'm completely infatuated with her.
: She made me laugh.
: Unfortunately, our Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics hurdler.
: Can I take my new car for a ride? Sebastian
: Kathryn, the only thing you'll be riding is me.
: Oh, Sebastian? That little wager of yours? Count me in. Sebastian
: What are the terms? Kathryn
: If I win, then that hot little car of yours is mine. Sebastian
: And if I win? Kathryn
: [Takes off her jacket to reveal a skimpy-looking tank top
] I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married. Sebastian
: Be more specific. Kathryn
: In English? I'll fuck your brains out. Sebastian
: [a little shocked for a moment, recovers
] What makes you think I'll go for that bet? That is a 1956 Jaguar Roadster. Kathryn
: Because I'm the only person you can't have, and it kills you. Sebastian
: No way.
[Starts to exit the room
: You can put it anywhere... Sebastian
: [Stops in his tracks, bites his lip
] You've got yourself a bet, baby.
[they shake hands and Sebastian exits
: Happy hunting, Sebastian.
: Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and... what else do you do?
: [into a phone
] Fuck her yet? Sebastian
: [into a phone
] I'm working on it. Kathryn
: Loser! Sebastian
: Blow me! Kathryn
: Call me later? Sebastian
: She's quite cute, you know? Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted pooty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.
: My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible. Cecile Caldwell
: But that would make me a slut, wouldn't it? Kathryn
: Cecile, everybody does it; it's just that nobody talks about it. Cecile Caldwell
: So, it's like a secret society? Kathryn
: That's one way looking at it.
[under her breath
: Fucking idiot...
: Sounds great... I love you too. Kathryn
: [mocking Sebastian
] "I love you"? My God. You are completely pussy-whipped. Sebastian
: Stop it. Kathryn
: What happened to us? Sebastian
: Nothing's changed. Kathryn
: Yes it has. You're in love with her, you don't love me anymore. Sebastian
: Come on, Kathryn, it's just a bet. Sebastian
: [after being kissed by Kathryn and pushing her away
] This is ridiculous. Kathryn
: What's ridiculous, dear brother, is you! Look at yourself, look at what you've been reduced to! Have you given any thought to what's going to happen when school starts? Not only are you dating Miss Seventeen Magazine, but she's also the new headmaster's daughter. Before you know it, you'll be giving campus tours with her. Oh, wait, her father doesn't know about your past, does he? I doubt he'd let his little princess be seen with the likes of you. Hmm... It's so disappointing to see Annette's manifesto was a total sham. Though, as student body president, I feel it's my sworn duty to tell him.
[picks up the phone and starts dialing
: Put the phone down. Kathryn
: Shh, this will only take a second. Kathryn
: [after Sebastian grabs the phone and slams it down
] Hmm, quite the predicament you're in. Sebastian
: I don't care what you say. The fact of the matter is that I was planning on telling her everything this afternoon. Kathryn
: Oh, that's right, I forgot, you're so in love. Do you honestly believe you've done a complete 180 in the few days you've known her? Well let me tell you something, people don't change overnight. You and I are two of a kind. At least I have the guts to admit it. You were going to leave school a legend, now you're going to leave a joke. Sebastian
: Well, I'm willing to take my chances. Kathryn
: Don't do it, Sebastian. Not only will you ruin your reputation, you'll destroy hers.
: How do you do it? Where do you get your strength? Kathryn
: [pulling out her cross that doubles as a cocaine dispenser
] Well I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem. Bunny Caldwell
: Oh, that's beautiful.
: I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.
: I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher. Bunny Caldwell
: Ronald? That's crazy. Kathryn
: I know. She's so young, and he's so... Bunny Caldwell
[Store Clerk sets down a cup of coffee
] Bunny Caldwell
: Brown sugar. No sugar.
: I have a reputation to uphold. Kathryn
: Oh, but diddling the therapist's daughter is a challenge. Sebastian
] She was overcharging.
: I wanna FUCK! Sebastian
: And I don't.
: What shall we toast to? Kathryn
: To my triumph. Sebastian
: It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette.
: What's so funny? Kathryn
: Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you. Sebastian
: Come again? Kathryn
: You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
: Tastes good. So, I assume you've come here to make arrangements. But unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.
: You amaze me. Kathryn
: Eat me, Sebastian! It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in... or are you out?
: The parental units called while you were out. Sebastian
: How IS your gold-digging, whore of a mother enjoying Bali? Kathryn
: She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid. Sebastian
: [on the phone
] Cecile?... OK, stop crying... stop crying... You know... hold on for Sebastian. Sebastian
: Cecile?... Stop crying.
: Ohh well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbaum and her daughter should make for interesting entry. Kathryn
: Ohh, your journal. Could you be more queer? Sebastian
: Could you be more desperate to read it?
: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premiere tramp of the New York area.
: Read this.
[puts down a copy of "seventeen" magazine on the table
: I know how to alleviate menstrual cramps, thank you very much.
: She has a boyfriend named Trevor. Been going out for a year... Trevor understands. Kathryn
: Trevor's a fag.
[reading a virgin's manifesto
: "Why I Plan to Wait" by Annette Hargrove, Kansas City, Kansas. Jesus Christ, is she for real? Sebastian
: Oh, she's daddy's little angel, a paradigm of chastity and virtue.
: How do you do it? Where do you get your strength? Kathryn
: [Pulling out her cross that she hides her coke in
] I know this will sound corny, but, whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.
: I don't know if this'll help. But sometimes when I'm feeling down, I turn to Jesus and he helps me through it. Kathryn
: Thank you. Annette
: All right, well, I'll see you around campus. Kathryn
: Looking forward to it... Freak.
: You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't? God, are you a chump. Sebastian
: A momentary lapse of judgment, soon to be rectified.
: [takes her hand off his crotch
] Down, boy.
: [after kissing
] See? That wasn't so scary. Cecile Caldwell
: It was nothing. Kathryn
: Okay, let's try it again only this time I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth, and when I do that I want you to massage my tongue with yours. And that's what first base is. Cecile Caldwell
: Okay! Kathryn
: Eyes closed.
[they french kiss
: Not bad. Cecile Caldwell
: That was cool!
: Who are you spying on? That her? Sebastian
: Yeah Kathryn
: Aww, she's crying. Little baby upset about the big bad book. Sebastian
: Shut up! Kathryn
: What's up your ass?
: [mocking Sebastian
] "I love you"? My God. You are completely pussy-whipped.
: [Kathryn is watching Cecile from a video cam
] Peace out. Kathryn
: Peace out? What a moron.
: [as they are kissing
] You do realize you're my step sister. Kathryn
: You know what they say about incest. Sebastian
: Is there any line you won't cross? Kathryn
: Only one... never in the butt. Sebastian
: That's a good line. Kathryn
: The Bradys never had it so good.
: Two's company. Three's a fuck load of fun.
[Kathryn walks in on Sebastian showering
: Let's get something straight! I may have not fooled you, but I've got a great thing going with the rentals. I don't have a curfew, they never bother me about my homework, and I've got a five-figure allowance. No one, and I mean no one, is about to threaten my cushy lifestyle! Especially not some two-bit, hick loser like you. Sebastian
: But... Kathryn
: I don't want to hear it! Now as for school, you stay out of my face and we'll get along just fine. But if you cross me once, I'll bury your sorry ass. Understood? Right. I'm glad we could have this little discussion.
[looks down at Sebastian
: Hmmm, not bad.
: You're going out with that obnoxious girl who spit gum in your hair? Kathryn
: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Sebastian
: Oh come on Kathryn, she's just a freshman. Pick on someone your own size. Kathryn
: Like you? In due time.
: It's a bit strange. Isn't it against the rules for someone of your age to seduce a minor like you did to me that summer in the Hamptons? Assistant Headmaster Steve Muller
: You know that's not entirely true. It was you who seduced me! Kathryn
: [makes a very wicked smirk
] You know, you're right. It was me who seduced you, but then again... who would the school board believe? It's my word against yours. Think about it, Steve. Something like this could ruin your career, not to mention your marriage. But I guess if you can bend the rules a little, then so can I.
: He likes you. Cherie Claymon
: How do you know he likes me? Kathryn
: I can see it in his eyes. Cherie Claymon
: So what do I do about it? Kathryn
: You're gonna have to let him fuck you.
: You must feel like a terrible dope leading on that poor, lovesick girl. Sebastian
: You don't know what you're talking about. Kathryn
: Here's a prediction: after a few weeks of hand-holding and chaste smooching, you'll be so bored and horny that you'll mess the whole thing up. Of course, I could wipe her off the map tomorrow, but I think I'll let this little romance just flicker out all on it's own. Sebastian
: Look, I like the girl. I like her a lot. Do anything to screw it up, and I will screw you up! Kathryn
: Nobody ever threatens me! Sebastian
: I just did, or weren't you listening? Kathryn
: You do realize that this means war! Sebastian
: Then war it is.
[Sebastian then trips Kathryn who lands in a mud puddle
[Sebasian opens his bedroom door to find Kathryn standing there after overhearing his phone conversation with Danielle
: Psycho stepsister? Sebastian
: Evening. Kathryn
: Evening, Oh, she shot you down. Sebastian
: Exactly the opposite. Kathryn
: So, what's on the agenda? Matinee of The Lion King? Sebastian
: Man you really have it out for her don't you? It must really burn your ass that with all your money and popularity, she still won't have anything to do with you. Face it Kathryn, she's outclassed you. Kathryn
: How dare you talk to me like that you son of a bitch! Sebastian
: Well, this has been fun. Unfortunately, I have some work to do and you have to go throw up. After all, it was a really big salad you had for dinner. Kathryn
: Have you been spying on me?
[after catching the servents playing poker with Sebastian
: Get out, all of you! And you can be damn sure that my mother's going to hear about this when she gets back. Sebastian
: No she won't. Kathryn
: What did you say? Sebastian
: I said you're not telling anyone about this. This was my idea. I ordered them to play cards. Kathryn
: And to drink Mother's prized 1939 Neuf du Pape? Sebastian
: Great year. Blitzkrieg, wasn't it?
Assistant Headmaster Steve Muller
: Oh, Kathryn. Kathryn
: Please be quiet, I'm trying to imagine I'm with someone attractive.