Will Bloom
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Quotes for
Will Bloom (Character)
from Big Fish (2003)

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Big Fish (2003)
Senior Ed Bloom: You are in for a surprise.
Will Bloom: Am I?
Senior Ed Bloom: Havin' a kid changes everything. There's burping, the midnight feeding, and the changing.
Will Bloom: You do any of that?
Senior Ed Bloom: No. But I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill his head with nonsense, and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will Bloom: You think I'm up for it?
Senior Ed Bloom: You learned from the best.

Senior Ed Bloom: People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This is not how I go.
Will Bloom: Really?
Senior Ed Bloom: Truly. I saw it in the eye.
Will Bloom: The old lady by the swamp?
Senior Ed Bloom: She was a *witch*.
Will Bloom: No, she was old and probably senile.
Senior Ed Bloom: I saw my death in that eye, and this isn't how it happens.
Will Bloom: So how does it happen?
Senior Ed Bloom: Surprise ending. Wouldn't want to ruin it for you.

Senior Ed Bloom: I don't know if you're aware of this, Josephine, but African parrots, in their native home of the Congo, they speak only French.
Josephine: Really?
Senior Ed Bloom: You're lucky to get four words out of them in English, but if you were to walk through the jungle, you'd hear them speaking the most elaborate French. Those parrots talk about everything. Politics, movies, fashion. Everything but religion.
Will Bloom: Why not religion, Dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.
Will Bloom: Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.
Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, so you know.

Will Bloom: You know about icebergs, dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water. They didn't count on there being an elephant frozen inside. The wooly kind. A mammoth.
Will Bloom: Dad!
Senior Ed Bloom: What?
Will Bloom: I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
Senior Ed Bloom: Well you shouldn't have started with a question, because most people want to answer questions. You should've started with "the thing about icebergs is."

Will Bloom: I know better than to argue romance with a French woman.

Will Bloom: We have to take Glenville to avoid the church traffic because the damn church people drive too slow.

Will Bloom: A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.

Will Bloom: In telling the story of my father's life, it's impossible to separate fact from fiction, the man from the myth. The best I can do is to tell it the way he told me. It doesn't always make sense and most of it never happened... but that's what kind of story this is.

Will Bloom: You become what you always were - a very big fish.

Senior Ed Bloom: Tell me how it happens.
Will Bloom: How what happens?
Senior Ed Bloom: How I go.
Will Bloom: You mean you saw in the Eye? I dunno that story, Dad, you never told it to me.

Senior Ed Bloom: I've told you a thousand facts, Will, that's what I do. I tell stories.
Will Bloom: You tell lies, Dad.

Senior Dr. Bennett: Did your father ever tell you about the day you were born?
Will Bloom: A thousand times. He caught an uncatchable fish.
Senior Dr. Bennett: Not that one. The real story. Did he ever tell you that?
Will Bloom: No.
Senior Dr. Bennett: Your mother came in about three in the afternoon. Her neighbor drove her, on account of your father was on business in Wichita. You were born a week early, but there were no complications. It was a perfect delivery. Now, your father was sorry to miss it, but it wasn't the custom for the men to be in the room for deliveries then, so I can't see as it would have been much different had he been there. And that's the real story of how you were born. Not very exciting, is it? And I suppose if I had to choose between the true version and an elaborate one involving a fish and a wedding ring, I might choose the fancy version. But that's just me.
Will Bloom: I kind of liked your version.

Will Bloom: [to Ed] You're like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined - just as charming, and just as fake.

Will Bloom: Church people drive too slow.

Will Bloom: Unbelievable.
Senior Ed Bloom: The story of my life.

Will Bloom: A man tells so many stories, that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.

Will Bloom: Everybody's there, and I mean everybody. And the strange thing is, there's not a sad face to be found, everyone's just so happy to see you.

Josephine: [the phoe rings as a pregnant Josephine and Will come home from the grocery store, she lays the bags down and answers the phone] Qui appelle? Yes. Yes, he's here.
[she turns to Will and extends the phone]
Josephine: It's your mother.
Will Bloom: [he takes the phone] Hi.
[he holds up a 'one second' sign as he talks to her]
Will Bloom: What does Dr.Bennet say? No, sure, I'll talk to him. Yeah, I'll wait.
Josephine: It's bad?
Will Bloom: Yeah, it's more than they thought. They're gonna stop chemo.
Josephine: You need to go.
Will Bloom: Probably tonight.
Josephine: I'm going with you.
Will Bloom: No, no, no. You shouldn't.
[he places his hand on Josephine's stomach]
Josephine: I'm going with you.
[Will strokes her face]

[last lines]
Will Bloom: That was my father's final joke, I guess. A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him. And in that way he becomes immortal.

Senior Ed Bloom: What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Will Bloom: Just yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.

Will Bloom: [to Edward Bloom] Dad, I have no idea who you are because you have never told me a single fact.

Will Bloom: Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny? And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.