Ed Bloom
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Quotes for
Ed Bloom (Character)
from Big Fish (2003)

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Big Fish (2003)
Young Ed Bloom: Sandra Templeton, I love you and I WILL marry you.

Young Ed Bloom: I just saw the woman I'm going to marry. I know it. But I lost her.
Amos Calloway: Oh, tough break. Well, most men have to get married *before* they lose their wives.
Young Ed Bloom: I'm gonna spend every day for the rest of my life looking for her. That, or die alone!
Amos Calloway: Damn, kid. Lemme guess. Real pretty? Reddish-blondish hair? Blue dress?
Young Ed Bloom: Yeah!
Amos Calloway: I know her uncle. Friends of the family.
Young Ed Bloom: Who is she? Where does she live?
Amos Calloway: Forget it kid, don't waste your time. She's out of your league.
Young Ed Bloom: What do you mean? You don't even know me.
Amos Calloway: Sure I do! You were hot shit back in Hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat! You don't have a plan, you don't have a job, you don't have anything except the clothes on your back.

Young Ed Bloom: Now I may not have much, but I have more determination then any man you're ever likely to meet.

Karl: I don't want to eat you. I just get so hungry. I'm just too big.
Young Ed Bloom: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big? That maybe this place is just too small?

Young Ed Bloom: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra.

Amos Calloway: Her favorite flower is daffodils
Young Ed Bloom: Daffodils.

Ping: [in Cantonese, to Edward who was hiding in the dressing room] Who are you?
Young Ed Bloom: [In Cantonese] Please, I'm not going to hurt you.
Jing: [In Cantonese] Damn right you're not! GUARD!

Young Ed Bloom: You don't know me, but my name's Edward Bloom... And I love you.

Young Ed Bloom: I can't go back, I'm a human sacrifice.

Young Ed Bloom: This isn't how I die.

Young Ed Bloom: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.

[Amos returns from the woods after being a wolf for a night]
Amos Calloway: Didn't kill anything, did I?
Young Ed Bloom: A couple of rabbits, but I think one of 'em was already dead.
Amos Calloway: That would explain the indigestion.

Young Ed Bloom: There comes a point when any reasonable man will swallow his pride and admit he made a mistake. The truth is... I was never a reasonable man.

Amos Calloway: She likes music.
Young Ed Bloom: [smiles] Music. She likes music.

Young Jenny: Promise me you'll come back
Young Ed Bloom: I promise. Someday. When I'm really supposed to.

[When meeting young Sandra Templeton for the first time]
Young Ed Bloom: You don't know me but my name is Edward Bloom and I love you.

[Ed and Norther are in line at a bank together]
Young Ed Bloom: And now what are you doing?
Norther Winslow: I'm robbin' this place!

Karl: Friend, what happened to your shoes?
Young Ed Bloom: [Looking down at his feet] They kinda got ahead of me.

Amos Calloway: I haven't seen a customer this depressed since the elephant sat on that farmer's wife!
Amos Calloway: [laughs, beat]
Amos Calloway: Depressed?
[Karl laughs]
Amos Calloway: See, the big guy likes it.
Young Ed Bloom: I just saw the woman I'm going to marry, and I lost her.

Young Ed Bloom: It was that night I discovered that most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely, and lacking in the social niceties.

Sandra Bloom: You don't even know me.
Young Ed Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.

Young Ed Bloom: She said that the biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught.

Young Jenny: There's leaches in there.
Young Ed Bloom: Did you see that woman?
Young Jenny: What did she look like?
Young Ed Bloom: Well, she was, uh...
Young Jenny: Was she naked?
Young Ed Bloom: Yeah, she was.
Young Jenny: It's not a woman. It's a fish. No one's ever catched her.

Norther Winslow: I've been working on this poem for 12 years.
Young Ed Bloom: Really?
Norther Winslow: There's a lot of expectation. I don't wanna disappoint my fans.
Young Ed Bloom: May I?
Young Ed Bloom: [Edward reeds the poem on the notebook ] The grass so green Skies so blue. Spectre is really great!
Young Ed Bloom: It's only three lines long.
Norther Winslow: This is why you should never show a work in progress.

[first lines]
Young Ed Bloom: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they are faster or stronger than other fish, they're just touched by something extra.

Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] As soon as my bones had settled in their adult configuration, I set upon my plan to make a bigger place for myself in Ashton.
Pretty Girl: Edward Bloom!

Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] I was the biggest thing Ashton had ever seen. Until one day, a stranger arrived.

Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] It occurred to me then, that perhaps the reason for my growth was I was intended for larger things. After all, a giant man can't have an ordinary-sized life.

Young Ed Bloom: [voice over narration] With my prospects few, I took a job as a traveling salesman. It suited me. If there's one thing you can say about Edward Bloom, it's that I'm a social person.

Young Ed Bloom: The biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught.

Young Ed Bloom: And what I recall of Sunday school was that the more difficult something became, the more rewarding it was in the end.

Senior Ed Bloom: Truth is, I've always been thirsty.

Senior Ed Bloom: You are in for a surprise.
Will Bloom: Am I?
Senior Ed Bloom: Havin' a kid changes everything. There's burping, the midnight feeding, and the changing.
Will Bloom: You do any of that?
Senior Ed Bloom: No. But I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill his head with nonsense, and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will Bloom: You think I'm up for it?
Senior Ed Bloom: You learned from the best.

Senior Ed Bloom: People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This is not how I go.
Will Bloom: Really?
Senior Ed Bloom: Truly. I saw it in the eye.
Will Bloom: The old lady by the swamp?
Senior Ed Bloom: She was a *witch*.
Will Bloom: No, she was old and probably senile.
Senior Ed Bloom: I saw my death in that eye, and this isn't how it happens.
Will Bloom: So how does it happen?
Senior Ed Bloom: Surprise ending. Wouldn't want to ruin it for you.

Senior Ed Bloom: I don't know if you're aware of this, Josephine, but African parrots, in their native home of the Congo, they speak only French.
Josephine: Really?
Senior Ed Bloom: You're lucky to get four words out of them in English, but if you were to walk through the jungle, you'd hear them speaking the most elaborate French. Those parrots talk about everything. Politics, movies, fashion. Everything but religion.
Will Bloom: Why not religion, Dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.
Will Bloom: Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.
Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, so you know.

Will Bloom: You know about icebergs, dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water. They didn't count on there being an elephant frozen inside. The wooly kind. A mammoth.
Will Bloom: Dad!
Senior Ed Bloom: What?
Will Bloom: I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
Senior Ed Bloom: Well you shouldn't have started with a question, because most people want to answer questions. You should've started with "the thing about icebergs is."

Senior Ed Bloom: I've been nothin' but myself since the day I was born, and if you can't see that it's your failin', not mine.

Senior Ed Bloom: There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost... the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is... I've always been a fool.

Senior Ed Bloom: I caught an uncatchable fish.

Senior Ed Bloom: And that's my life story.

Josephine: I'd like to take your picture.
Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, you don't need a picture. Just look up "handsome" in the dictionary.

Senior Ed Bloom: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.

Senior Ed Bloom: [quoting his mother] "The milkman just dropped dead on the porch." Because see, my mother was banging the milkman.

Senior Ed Bloom: Tell me how it happens.
Will Bloom: How what happens?
Senior Ed Bloom: How I go.
Will Bloom: You mean you saw in the Eye? I dunno that story, Dad, you never told it to me.

Senior Ed Bloom: I've told you a thousand facts, Will, that's what I do. I tell stories.
Will Bloom: You tell lies, Dad.

Senior Ed Bloom: Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring.

Senior Ed Bloom: Most men, they'll tell you a story straight through. It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either.

Will Bloom: Unbelievable.
Senior Ed Bloom: The story of my life.

Senior Ed Bloom: It's rude to talk about religion, you never know who you're gonna offend.

Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?
Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.

Senior Ed Bloom: What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Will Bloom: Just yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.

Senior Ed Bloom: I was drying out.

Senior Ed Bloom: [to Will] Your mother was never supposed to marry me. She was engaged to somebody else.

Wilbur (Age 10): Is it true she's got a glass eye? I heard she got it from the gypsies...
Young Don Price: What's a gypsy?
Ed Bloom (Age 10): Your momma's a gypsy.
Young Don Price: Your momma's a bitch.

Ed Bloom (Age 10): I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you're gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up. But it could kind of help you, couldn't it? Because you'd know that everything else you can survive.