Frank T.J. Mackey
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Quotes for
Frank T.J. Mackey (Character)
from Magnolia (1999)

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Magnolia (1999)
[singing along to Aimee Mann's "Wise Up"]
Claudia Wilson Gator: It's not / What you thought / When you first began it / You got / What you want / Now you can hardly stand it though / By now you know / It's not going to stop
Jim Kurring: It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Jimmy Gator: You're sure / There's a cure / And you have finally found it
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: You think / One drink / Will shrink you 'til you're underground / And living down / But it's not going to stop
Phil Parma: It's not going to stop
Earl Partridge: It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up
Linda Partridge: Prepare a list for what you need / Before you sign away the deed / 'Cause it's not going to stop
Frank T.J. Mackey: It's not going to stop / It's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop / 'Til you wise up / No, it's not going to stop
Stanley Spector: So just... give up

Frank T.J. Mackey: I will drop-kick those fuckin' dogs if they come near me.

Gwenovier: Come on, Frank. What are you doing?
Frank T.J. Mackey: What am I doing? I'm quietly judging you.

Frank T.J. Mackey: Don't go away, you fucking asshole, don't go away. Don't go away, you fucking asshole, don't go away! Don't go away you fucking asshole!

Frank T.J. Mackey: In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video and audio cassette. Seduce and Destroy will teach you the techniques to have any hardbody blonde just dripping to wet your dock. Bottom line? Language. The magical key to unlocking the female analytical mindset. Tap directly into her hopes, her wants, her fears, her desires, and her sweet little panties. Learn how to make that lady "friend" your sex-starved servant. I don't care how you look. I don't care what car you drive. I don't care what your last bank statement says. Seduce and Destroy produces an instant money-back guarantee trance-like state that will get you this - naughty sauce you want fast. Hey - how many more times do you need to hear the all-too-famous line of 'I just don't feel that way about you?'

Frank T.J. Mackey: Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!

Frank T.J. Mackey: In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve - it's what you take!

Frank T.J. Mackey: [Frank is speaking to followers at his seminar] Men are shit. What? Men... are... *shit*. What, isn't that what they say? Because we do bad things, don't we? We do horrible, heineous, *heinous*, terrible things. Things that no woman would ever do. No, women, they don't lie. No, women don't cheat. Women don't *manipulate* us. But you see what I'm getting at. You see what society does? Little boys, it's, "Wow, womaaaan!" We are taught to apologize. I am sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry. What is it that we need? Is it their pussies? Their love? Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer... and Daddy, he hit me, so that's who I am, that's why I do what I do? Fucking bullshit. I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for what I need. I will not apologize for what I *want*!

Frank T.J. Mackey: Do you think they're your friends? They're not your friends. Do you really think she'll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you're gonna give me that cherry pie sweet mama baby.

Frank T.J. Mackey: I'll tell you what I want you to do, Janet! I want you to do your fucking job!

Gwenovier: So where are you from originally?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Around here.
Gwenovier: The Valley?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Hollywood, mainly.
Gwenovier: What did your parents do?
Frank T.J. Mackey: My father was in television. My mother... This is going to sound silly to you.
Gwenovier: Try me.
Frank T.J. Mackey: She was a librarian.
Gwenovier: Why does that sound silly?
Frank T.J. Mackey: I don't know. I guess it doesn't.
Gwenovier: Does your mother still work?
Frank T.J. Mackey: No, she's retired.
Gwenovier: Are you close?
Frank T.J. Mackey: She's my mother.
Gwenovier: Yes, but... she's a woman, too. How does she feel about "Seduce and Destroy"? What does she say?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Well, she says, "You go get 'em, honey."