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: I burn, I pine, I perish.
[Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1
: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sure.
: Sweet love, renew thy force.
[Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI
: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
: I have a dick on my face, don't I?
: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
[reaches into a jar
: Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
[they find Patrick drinking and smoking
: So what have ya got for me? Cameron
: A little insight into a very complicated girl. Michael
: Excuse me, uh, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver? Patrick
] What? Michael
: Nothing. Nothing. Cameron
: Alright, uh, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
[slowly removes Patrick's cigarette
: So, you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker. Michael
: Yes. Well, just for now. Cameron
: And, um, and here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys. Patrick
: [looks confused and slowly rises
] Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy? Michael
: H-He's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy. Cameron
: Yeah. I-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know. Michael
: [gives him two thumbs up
] You're a gorgeous guy. Cameron
: [Patrick sits back down
] Alright, uh, yeah, okay, here's this, uh... Likes: Thai food, feminist pros and angry girl music of the Indie Rock persuasion. Here's a list of the CDs that she has in her room. Patrick
: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right? Michael
: Have you ever been to Club Skunk? Cameron
: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night. Patrick
: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right? Cameron
: But she'll be there, she's got tickets. Michael
: Hey listen, assail your ears for one night. Cameron
: She has a pair of black underwear, if that helps. Michael
: [laughing cooly
] Couldn't hurt, right?
: Are you lost? Michael
: No, actually I just came by to chat. Joey
: We don't chat.
: These delusionals are your White Rastas. Uh, they're big Marley fans, they think they're black, semi-political, but mostly... Cameron
: Smoke a lot of weed?
: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop. Cameron
: What'd she say? Michael
: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick
: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
: I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that's a Toyota.
: We are screwed. Michael
: Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat! Cameron
: [more upbeat
] We are screwed! Michael
: There ya go.
: [about Bianca
] What's there is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sundress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh, Joey realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having, Put her in your "Spank Bank" and move on. Cameron
: No, no, no! You're wrong about her. I mean, you know, not about the spanking, but the rest, you're wrong!
: Cameron, how's it going? Cameron
: Not so good. I feel weird. Ever since Bianca got here, my head has been filled with rainbows and Enya.