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: Sweet love, renew thy force.
[Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI
: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
: What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?
: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford
: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick
: Then what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford
: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
: Not a big talker, huh? Kat Stratford
: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.
: It's not everyday you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention.
: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.
: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke. Patrick
: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you. Kat Stratford
: You think?
: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford
: Is that right? Patrick
: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.
: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. Patrick
: Cameron, do you like the girl? Cameron
: Yeah. Patrick
: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble? Cameron
: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I... Patrick
: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it.
: Was that a yes? Kat Stratford
: No. Patrick
: Well, then, was that a no? Kat Stratford
: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
[reaches into a jar
: Don't touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
[they find Patrick drinking and smoking
: So what have ya got for me? Cameron
: A little insight into a very complicated girl. Michael
: Excuse me, uh, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver? Patrick
] What? Michael
: Nothing. Nothing. Cameron
: Alright, uh, first thing, Kat hates smokers.
[slowly removes Patrick's cigarette
: So, you're telling me I'm a... non-smoker. Michael
: Yes. Well, just for now. Cameron
: And, um, and here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys. Patrick
: [looks confused and slowly rises
] Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy? Michael
: H-He's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy. Cameron
: Yeah. I-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know. Michael
: [gives him two thumbs up
] You're a gorgeous guy. Cameron
: [Patrick sits back down
] Alright, uh, yeah, okay, here's this, uh... Likes: Thai food, feminist pros and angry girl music of the Indie Rock persuasion. Here's a list of the CDs that she has in her room. Patrick
: So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right? Michael
: Have you ever been to Club Skunk? Cameron
: Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night. Patrick
: I can't be seen at Club Skunk. All right? Cameron
: But she'll be there, she's got tickets. Michael
: Hey listen, assail your ears for one night. Cameron
: She has a pair of black underwear, if that helps. Michael
: [laughing cooly
] Couldn't hurt, right?
: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. Patrick
: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights? Ms. Perky
: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? Patrick
: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst. Ms. Perky
: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!
] Kat Stratford
: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know? Patrick
: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.
: I thought you wanted out. Cameron
: Yeah, well, I did, but, uh... that was until she kissed me. Patrick
: Where? Cameron
: In the car.
: Tell me something true. Patrick
: Something true... I hate peas. Kat Stratford
: No, something real, something no one else knows. Patrick
: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.
: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh? Kat Stratford
] Am I that transparent? I want you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
: Alright. Uh, I talked to her; I got the scoop. Cameron
: What'd she say? Michael
: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick
: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
: Well, you don't know. She could, uh, she could need a day to cool off.
[they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them
: Maybe two.
: Hey there girly. How you doin'? Kat Stratford
: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself? Patrick
: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh? Kat Stratford
: My mission in life. But, obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense again.
: You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that? Patrick
: I tell myself that every day, actually.
: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell you. So, how did you keep him distracted? Kat Stratford
: I dazzled him with my... wits.
: [while trying to get Kat go out with him
] Well, the night I take you places you've never been before. Kat Stratford
: Like where, the 7-11 on Broadway?
[Mr. Stratford makes Bianca wear a pregnancy belly before leaving for a party, Patrick arrives and sees her
: [to Kat
] Who knocked up your sister?
: I was watching you out there, before. I've never seen you look so sexy.
: You're gunna pay me to take out some chick? Joey
: Mmhm. Patrick
: How much? Joey
: 20 bucks. Joey
: ...fine 30. Patrick
: Well, let's think about this... we go to the movies, that's 15 bucks. We get popcorn, that's 53. And she'll want raisonettes, alright? So, we're looking at 75 bucks. Joey
: This isn't a negotiation. Take it or leave it trailer park. Patrick
: 50 bucks and we got a deal, Fabio.
: What is it with this chick, she have beer flavored nipples? Cameron
: And I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl... I think.
[Patrick is refusing to help Cameron go out with Bianca
: Joey can plough whatever he wants. Cameron
] Hey! There will be no ploughing!
: See, first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it!
: So what's your excuse? Kat Stratford
: For? Patrick
: Acting the way we do. Kat Stratford
: I don't like to do what people expect.Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? Patrick
: So you disappoint them from the start and then you're covered, right? Kat Stratford
: Something like that Patrick
: Then you screwed up! Kat Stratford
: How? Patrick
: You never disappointed me.
: You can go. Kat Stratford
: No. no, no ,no. I'm not gonna go. Patrick Verona
: Because you're obsessed with me.
: [talking to Patrick
] I'm not skipping home to scribble in my journal that maybe you're a vampire. Patrick Verona
: [to Patrick
] Why are people scared of you? Patrick Verona
: Why are people scared of you? Kat Stratford
: People are not scared of me. Patrick Verona
: Sure they are. That's why I find you interesting.
: We takin' my Bike? Walter Stratford
: Please tell me he's talking about his ten speed. Kat Stratford
: Don't worry we're taking my car.
: [to Kat
] Looking for me. Kat Stratford
: Yes, if you were the ladies' room.