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: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years? Miracle Max
: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed.
: Get back, witch. Valerie
: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.
: Have fun stormin' da castle. Valerie
: Think it'll work? Miracle Max
: It would take a miracle.
: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe
[smacks his lips
] Miracle Max
: They're so perky, I love that.
: Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad. Fezzik
: I'm on the Brute Squad. Miracle Max
: [sees Fezzik
] You *are* the Brute Squad!
: You got any money? Inigo Montoya
: Sixty-five. Miracle Max
: I've never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause. Inigo Montoya
: This is noble, sir. His wife is... crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation. Miracle Max
: Are you a rotten liar! Inigo Montoya
: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years. Miracle Max
: Your first story was better.
: [Lifts and drops the arm of the dead Westley
] I've seen worse.
: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him. Inigo Montoya
: He's dead. He can't talk. Miracle Max
: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. Inigo Montoya
: What's that? Miracle Max
: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
: But this is Buttercup's true love - If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding. Miracle Max
: Wait. Wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers? Inigo Montoya
: Humiliations galore! Miracle Max
: That is a noble cause. Give me the sixty-five, I'm on the job.
: Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence has been shattered. Miracle Max
: Why'd you say that name? You promised me you would never say that name! Valerie
: What, Humperdinck? Miracle Max
: Aahaahh! Valerie
: Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Miracle Max
: I'm not listening!
: Get back witch! Valerie
: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!