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: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job? Ali G
: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole... David Carlton
: Really? When? Ali G
: Eight years and three months ago. David Carlton
: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...? Ali G
: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJ'ing injury - I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger...
[starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carlton's fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch
] Ali G
: Everything down there's still working, though! Oh, yes...
: Swan, is there any reason why there should be an absurdly dressed, half-naked man chained to a fence, being tossed off by an old blind council worker?
: As from 12 o'clock all rizla's will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as ichy scrot. Furthermore I am a bell end... Ali G
: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! David Carlton
: Prime minister, I really can't be expected to... Prime Minister
: Go on now, David! David Carlton
: [Looking annoyed
] I like to take it up the batty. It is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum!
: [to Ali
] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament? Ali G
: What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks. David Carlton
: That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick? Ali G