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: I sure hope no part of him gets left behind. Mr. Teavee
: What do you mean? Willy Wonka
: Uh, well... sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way through. If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be? Mr. Teavee
: What kind of a question is that? Willy Wonka
: No need to snap, just a question.
[Mike starts stomping on a candy pumpkin, completely destroying it
] Mr. Teavee
: Son, please. Mike Teavee
: Dad, he said, "Enjoy!"
: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback. Mr. Salt
: I see. Mr. Teavee
: These flashbacks happen often? Willy Wonka
: Increasingly... today.
: [seeing the Oompa-Loompas for the first time
] Are they real people? Willy Wonka
: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas. Mr. Salt
: Oompa Loompas? Willy Wonka
: Imported. Direct from Loompaland. Mr. Teavee
: There's no such place. Willy Wonka
: What? Mr. Teavee
: Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you... Willy Wonka
: Well, then, you'll know all about it and, oh, what a terrible country it is.
: Let's go put him in the taffy puller! Mr. Teavee
] Taffy puller? Willy Wonka
: Hey, that was my idea!
: A retard could figure it out. Mr. Teavee
: Most of the time, I don't know what he's talking about. I mean, kids these days, what with all the technology... Mike Teavee
: [blasting enemies in a video game
] Die! Die! Die! Mr. Teavee
: Doesn't seem like they stay kids very long.
: [has just seen chocolate transported by television
] So, can you send other things? Say, like, breakfast cereal? Willy Wonka
: Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners. Charlie Bucket
: But could you send it by television if you wanted to? Willy Wonka
: Course I could. Mike Teavee
: What about people? Willy Wonka
: Well, why would I wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all.