Rozalin Focker
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Quotes for
Rozalin Focker (Character)
from Meet the Fockers (2004)

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Meet the Fockers (2004)
[after the Byrnes' cat flushes the Fockers' dog down the toilet]
Roz Focker: Your cat can flush?

Jack Byrnes: I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker: It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes: What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker: Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes: It was your idea?
Roz Focker: Yes.
Jack Byrnes: What is wrong with you people?
Bernie Focker: You people?
Dina Byrnes: I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes: Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker: Jack. he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes: He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his devlopment.
Roz Focker: The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker: Mom.
Jack Byrnes: What are you saying?
Roz Focker: I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and and I've got news for you, Jack, prodigies don't eat there own boogers.
Jack Byrnes: And I've got news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes: Okay, Dad. That's my fiance.
Jack Byrnes: I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker: Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes: The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frusrated]
Roz Focker: Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes: Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.
Greg Focker: [everyone starts arguing] Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP, okay?
[everyone is quiet]
Greg Focker: Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.

[the Fockers' outgoing message]
Bernie Focker: Hello, you've reached the Fockers. We're not around, so leave us a message. Goodbye. Roz, how the hell do you shut this thing off?
Roz Focker: I have no idea. Just press a button.
Bernie Focker: All right, I'm pretty sure it's off. Honey, you want a chimichanga?
Roz Focker: I thought they give you gas.
Bernie Focker: A little bit, but it's worth it.
Roz Focker: Yeah, worth it for you, but I'm the one that gets the fumes.
Bernie Focker: Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga!
Roz Focker: So make a chimichang...
[beep]

Greg Focker: Hey, Dad, you shouldn't take Moses into the RV. Jack and Dina have a cat.
Bernie Focker: Oh, Moses is fine. He's perfectly trained.
Greg Focker: Dad, he humps everything that moves.
Roz Focker: [laughing] He's like your father!
Bernie Focker: I never cheated on you!

Roz Focker: I'm wondering why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest!

Bernie Focker: You fockerized them!
Roz Focker: Yeah!
Bernie Focker: I'm gonna fockerize you!

Roz Focker: Yeah, and now it's up to 50 Fockers.
Jack Byrnes: 50 Fockers. What could be better?

Roz Focker: Well you know, honey, many unplanned pregnancies happen because the man is such a sexual dynamo, and the woman craves his sperm on an unconscious but very powerful level.
Greg Focker: Mm-hmm. Mom, I'm truely not comfortable having this conversation with you.

Roz Focker: Tell me, what's going on with that man of yours?
Dina Byrnes: Well, Jack's always been a little wound up. His job is very stressful.
Roz Focker: Being a florist is stressful?
Dina Byrnes: There's more to it than people think.

Roz Focker: How's your sex life?
Dina Byrnes: I can't tell you that!
Roz Focker: I'm a professional. Dina, I'm a sex therapist specializing in senior sexuality.
Dina Byrnes: I knew those weren't yoga mats!
Roz Focker: No.
Dina Byrnes: Well, we're not twenty five... anymore.
Roz Focker: But you're not dead either! Lots of couples our age lack intimacy...
Dina Byrnes: I didn't say we weren't intimate, there are special occasions. Anniversaries and... well, on our anniversary.
Roz Focker: Oy, neesh geete!
Dina Byrnes: What?
Roz Focker: Not good!

Judge Ira: Bingo, Bango, Bongo!
Roz Focker: The man is loose, he's limber, and he's ready for action.

Roz Focker: You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man?

Roz Focker: Nah, I'm bored. Come on, Dina. You want a Spritzer?
Dina Byrnes: What? Oh, a Spritzer. Sounds yummy.

Roz Focker: How are things with you and Pam?
Greg Focker: They're great.
Roz Focker: They're great? Because after two years you have to work to keep things going. Does she still climax regularly?
Greg Focker: Mom, you can't talk that way this weekend, okay?
Roz Focker: Honey, I'm just saying I didn't raise you to be a so-so lover.

Roz Focker: I think that baby might need a couple pulls on that knocker of your's, Jack.

Roz Focker: [giving Jack a Hawaiian massage] You are a caged lion! But lions can't be captive their entire lives. They have to be free to roam the bush. Free and wild! Your wife is a hot sexy tigress and she's waiting for you to pounce on her! Let me hear you roar, baby, roar! Your body is talking to me. It's hungry for action! I can feel it. Unleash the beast inside you, Jack!

Roz Focker: [about Greg's circumcision ceremony] See that's Greg getting circumcised.
Bernie Focker: We had the ceremony at my parents' house. There was a cold snap and the heat conked out. Tell it.
Roz Focker: The heater conked out. No matter how hard he tried, the mohel couldn't coax Greggie's tiny little turtle from it's shell.
Greg Focker: You know what, let's not talk about the tiny turtle.


Little Fockers (2010)
Bernie Focker: [On the phone long distance, miffed that he's in Spain learning to be a flamenco dancer] You picked a hell of a time to go through manopause!
Bernie Focker: Roz, I'm not going through manopause. I'm just trying to find my 'true north.'
Roz Focker: True north? What are you... a compass or something?
Bernie Focker: No, but let's face it - I'm a stay-at-home dad whose kid hasn't lived at home in 25 years.
Roz Focker: There's an Arthur Murray studio right here in Miami Beach. Why schep all the way to Spain?
Bernie Focker: Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
Roz Focker: You volunteered!
Bernie Focker: I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
Roz Focker: That's because you did it backwards.
Bernie Focker: I never went soft on you.
Roz Focker: Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?
Bernie Focker: Let me talk. Listen, will you?

Roz Focker: As an early Hannukah present, I'm going to send you and Pam a box of these musical condoms.
Greg Focker: Don't do that.