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Quotes for
Abdul Alzeez (Character)
from Evil Dead: Hail to the King (2000) (VG)

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Evil Dead: Hail to the King (2000) (VG)
Abdul Alzeez: Oh, I'm getting to old for this.
Ash: Yeah, yeah, look we're here. Finally, now tell me what's going on. Why is all this happening?
Abdul Alzeez: I fear your dark self is atempting to finish what the guild began. To bring the dark ones back to this world to reign over man. Your Jenny will be sacrificed as part of the ritual, to open the gateway to their realm.
Ash: Sacrificed? What, where's this gateway you're talking about?
Abdul Alzeez: Here in the lair. This place is built around the worlds of a temple once inhabited by the dark ones. When they ruled the earth long ago, here they uncovered the portal to the Cathedral of the Dead, the gateway between our worlds. But to enter we need the Dark Sign. It serves as a key.
Ash: Uh huh, point the way.
Abdul Alzeez: There, in the catacombs. But first you will a familiar to retrieve the sign.
Ash: Oh come on, why can't I just go and get it?
Abdul Alzeez: Fool! The catacombs are filled with such things that your mind would be seared, at a mear glance!
Ash: Uh huh. Ok, will I guess I'm going to have to go with you on this one.
Abdul Alzeez: Go into the lab and retrieve one of the familiars, while I begin work on the remaining translations. Move carefully, guards may still remain.
Ash: Oh, those half invisible guys, yeah, yeah, right about the back at the temple. See? I'm not as dumb as I look!
Abdul Alzeez: But I didn't...
Ash: Shut it, ok? Just shut it.

Abdul Alzeez: Where is the familiar?
Ash: I killed em.
Abdul Alzeez: All of them?
Ash: They attacked me!
Abdul Alzeez: Those creatures were some from worlds beyond. They were the product worth of years of arcane research!
Ash: What, is there an echo in there? They attacked me!
Abdul Alzeez: And what is this you brought me?
Ash: Oh, that's my hand.
Abdul Alzeez: Your actual hand? Fancinating!
Ash: Oh yeah, real peachy
Ash: Now come on, what do we gotta do to get the sign?
Abdul Alzeez: It is possible. Yees, I might be able to grant you control assorts over your hand, given the proper spell...
Ash: And, you got that spell handy? Oops, sorry.
Abdul Alzeez: For what?
Ash: Never mind.
Abdul Alzeez: The spell is in sanctum santorum of the library. I was never allowed inside, you will have to figure out how to enter.
Ash: Naturally.

Ash: Yo, Zeez baby listen up! Back away from the door and I'll have you outta there in a jiff.
[sticks the home made dynamite in the cell door and blows the door successfully]
Ash: Uh, hello? You can get up now. Ok, now let's get one thing straight spinach-chin, I still don't like this whole "I wrote the book of the dead" thing. So if you as so much as look at me funny, I'll saw you in half so fast, it'll make your head spin!
Abdul Alzeez: I mean you no harm. As I was saying before, the Necronomicon's a source of immense power. One can summon the un-holiest of evils, cross dimensions and command an army of deadites. But within it's pages, also lie are the secrets to banishing the evil forever!
Ash: Uh huh, so let me guess. You wrote the bad part first and never finished the good part?
Abdul Alzeez: Precisely. There's not much time, we should walk and talk.
[later at the entrance of the temple]
Abdul Alzeez: The celestrial temple. Once used by the most noble scholars in Damascus, it is now a place for the guild to study and prepare for the dark ones. Inside are my notes, you will need to retrieve in order for me to complete the book.
Ash: And I suppose these notes of yours will be completly unguarded and I won't have any trouble finding it.
Abdul Alzeez: The water, you must also shut down it's supply. We need to clear the passage ways.
Ash: Okay enough! The other "me" already has the book, not to mention my girl and now you're babbling about some kind of water? You're pissing me off, old man! What gives?
Abdul Alzeez: Even with completed book, they still lack one crucial component.
Ash: Oh yeah? What's that?
Abdul Alzeez: Me. I was the only one not driven entirely insane by the translations. Those with less knowledge of the book, know not of what it contains.
Ash: Blah blah blah, look let's just get to the point gramps! You keep yacking about the book, the guild, these dark ones, what the hell is going on and why did they take Jenny?
Abdul Alzeez: No time to explain, get inside and retrieve my notes. We will meet here afterwards. I must go now. If they find me here, they'll kill me where I stand!
Ash: Oh yeah, and what do you think they're gonna do to me? Give me a big fat kiss.

Ash: Ah, so you're that crazy writer guy huh?
Abdul Alzeez: Warrior from the sky! I knew you'd come to save us.
Ash: Hold up a minute, I'm not here to free you, I'm just looking for a couple of friends.
Abdul Alzeez: But you must help me. A great evil is taking over the city and shall consume the entire earth if not stopped.
Ash: Hey hey, one thing at a time. First what's your deal, shmeal?
Abdul Alzeez: I am Abdul Alzeez, or at least once was, we had uncovered the ancient texts of the dark ones, deep within the earth. And I had been translating the passages, as I neared completion of the Necronomicon, I...
Ash: Woah woah woah, hold the phone, stop right there! YOU were the clown who wrote the Necronomicon? Buddy, I outta kill you right here!
Abdul Alzeez: I didn't write it, I only translated it's passages. It's true orgins are not of this earth.
Ash: Listen spinach chin, that damn book has been a pain in my ass for the last eight years!
Abdul Alzeez: I understand. And I warned the guild of it's power, but they banished me. And I had been translated the passages needed to dispell the evil when the other "the one who looks like you" arrived with the girl, he had with him a completed copy of the book.
Ash: So this "guild" didn't need you anymore huh? He just threw you in here to what, shut you up?
Abdul Alzeez: Precisly. And now you're dark half is helping them. They have no idea what they're about to do, and the girl is in great danger. You must free me so I can complete my work. It is the prophecy.
Ash: Why should I help you? You cost me my friends, my sanity, my hand. I walk with a limp thanks to you gramps!
Abdul Alzeez: If not for mankind, then for the girl.
Ash: All right. I'll get you outta here, but no funny stuff, you got that gramps? Now what do we gotta do to bust you out?
Abdul Alzeez: The marketplace. Find the merchants, mention the white scimitar, they will know of what you speak. Now go!