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[a group of World of Warcraft characters are planning to defeat the griefer; Cartman the dwarf is marshaling his forces
: All right, you guys, this is it! When the attack begins, all warriors click on Defensive Stance. Everyone else, wait for Craig to cast his Intellect Buff. Token
: [black human rogue
] Okay. Craig
: [Gnome mage
] Got it. Cartman
: The battle is sure to be long, so make sure you have all your special abilities macroed to your keyboards. Jimmy Volmer
: [Night Elf hunter with a beard
] All right, Eric. You can c-c-count on us. Timmy
: [human priest
] Tim-maahh! Cartman
: This shall be a day for all to remember! Let us bravely charge the fields of Azeroth! From with... Butters
: [arrives in the same dwarf form as Cartman's
] Hey fellas!
[Cartman's dwarf looks over, surprised
: Boy, this is neato, huh? Cartman
: Butters? What the hell are you doing? Butters
: I got World of Warcraft, like you said. Cartman
] You can't be the dwarf character, Butters, I'm the dwarf. Butters
: Well, there's like only four races to choose from... Cartman
] So pick another one! I'm the dwarf, you stupid asshole! Log out, create a new character, and log back in! Butters
: [walks off grumbling
] I like Hello Kitty Island Adventure a lot more than this stuff. Stan
] Come on, let's do this! Clyde
: [second Night Elf hunter
] Yeah, my mom says I have to be in bed at 9:30. Cartman
: [turns around and leads
] Then let's move out!
[the others charge after him
[the team of World of Warcraft characters face off against the rogue griefer, who starts killing them off with his summoned scorpions
] Randy Marsh
: [Valkorn the blond warrior, arriving
] Hey, Stan, can I play with you guys?
[Stan's character turns around
] Dad? Randy Marsh
: Yeah, I'm playing from the office. Stan
] Dad, get off our teamspeak line!
[Valkorn walks off, and the griefer kills Token the black rogue
] That's it, I'm dead!
[the griefer kills Stan the warrior
: [throws off his headset
] That's it, screw this game! Cartman
: [backing away
] Now, leave me alone, don't do that...
[the griefer electrocutes Cartman the dwarf with his dagger through the mallet, killing him and skipping away
: [furiously throws off his headset
[meanwhile in the apartment, the griefer just keeps plugging along
: We've learned the the four of us can't fight him alone, but if we all log in together, we might have a chance. Token
: Hey yeah! Jimmy Volmer
: We can really stick to that ass... munch. Clyde
: Are you guys dumb? We can't beat him. Not even with all of us, it's a waste of time. Stan Marsh
: Dude, we have to try. Clyde
: I've got better things to do. Eric Cartman
: Clyde, Clyde, if you had the chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't; however, because I think it was awesome, but you would, right? Clyde
: I'm just gonna stop playing. Eric Cartman
: When Hitler rose to power, a lot of people just stopped playing. And you know who those people were? The French. Are you French, Clyde? Clyde
: No. Eric Cartman
: Voulez-vous cous chez avec-moi, Clyde? Clyde
: Alright, alright, I'll do it. Jimmy Volmer
: So what's the plan? Eric Cartman
: Alright, log in tonight on your computers at precisely 7:30. We will meet here, near the planes of the Elwin Forest near West Fall. My friends, to victory!
: This Christian album better make as much money as you said it would, tubby! Eric Cartman
: [to himself
] I'm going to kill you one day, Token. Token Williams
: What did you say? Eric Cartman
: God damn it! Record Dealer
: Whoa! Calm down there! Eric Cartman
: Who cares? I can never win a bet because you stupid assholes don't give out platinum albums. Record Dealer
: But you spread the word of the lord. You brought faith in Jesus. Eric Cartman
: D'oh! Fuck Jesus! Butters Stotch
: Calm down, Eric. You're gonna hurt the band! Token Williams
: Yeah, we're losing our fans. Eric Cartman
: Who fucking cares, Token? I can never beat Kyle now. I'll say it again. Fuck Jesus!
: [to Cartman
] Good job, dickhead! We lost the entire audience! Cartman
: Ah, fuck you Token, you black asshole!
[Token kicks the crap out of Cartman and leaves him coughing on all fours
: Hmm, guess he got what he deserved. Butters
: [Standing around Cartman, then after a while he farts on Cartman and gives him the finger
] Fuck you, Eric.
: [about what his dad said on Wheel of Fortune
] Dude, its okay. My dad apologized to Jesse Jackson and he accepted it. Token
: Jesse Jackson is not the Emperor of black people!
: Listen, Token, my dad isn't a racist, he's just stupid, alright? He just blurted out the N-word and it's no big deal, okay? Token
: Uh, well, actually it is kind of a big deal Stan. Eric Cartman
: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh... Token
: It may be a mistake, but you don't know how it feels when that word comes out. So don't say it isn't a big deal. Eric Cartman
: Oh shit, here we go! It's on! Race War! Race War! Race War! Race war's on everybody! It's going down! Shit is going down! Stan Marsh
: Token, my dad wasn't trying to be offensive, just forget about it. Token
: That's easy for you to say Stan. Eric Cartman
: Yeah, come on, here we go. Stan Marsh
: Yeah, but he didn't say it anger or anything like that. Token
: That doesn't mean I can just be fine. Eric Cartman
: Race war, come on! Race war! Token
: If you really think it's not a big deal, then you really are ignorant. That's all. I'm not fighting anybody.
[Token walks away
] Eric Cartman
: Token forfeits. Whites win! Whites win! Race war's over everybody! Whites won again!
: Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money or he won't go away! Token Black
: I can't help it!
: You guys, we watched Craig show all night long. Token Williams
: Yeah, it was great. Stan Marsh
: Yeah, but don't you see? We didn't think it was great before. I think I understand now. I think I know why Craig show gets such great ratings: half the school is high on cough medicines.
[Token has unknowingly watched a disturbing pornographic movie
] Token's Mom
: Token? Did the boys come over and... show you a movie?
[Token just stares and remains silent
] Token's Dad
[Token remains silent
] Token's Dad
: All right, Token, we know you must be very confused about what you saw.
[Token keeps staring and remains silent
] Randy Marsh
: Yes, er... you see, Token, that was called a pornographic film. It shows adult men and adult women having sexual intercourse.
[Token still keeps silent
] Randy Marsh
: Well, y-you see, when a-when a man and a woman fall in love, the-the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina. It's called lovemaking and it's part of being in love. Token Williams
: [after a long silence
] And when the woman has four penises in her at the same time, then stands over the men and pees on them, is that part of being in love too?
] Token Williams
: Five midgets, spanking a man covered with 1000-isles dressing. Is that making love? Token's Dad
] Jesus, what kind of porno was that? Gerald Broflovski
: It was "Backdoor Sluts #9". Token's Dad
: Oh Jesus, not that one!
[his wife gives him a foul look