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: If you don't like it, you can suck my little balls.
: Okay Kyle, why don't you take the prod.
[hands the prod to Kyle
: Sweet! Mr. Garrison
: Okay Eric, whenever you're ready
[starts playing a piano
] Eric Cartman
] and, O holy night
[Kyle shocks him
] Eric Cartman
: Ow! What was that for? I didn't screw up.
] Eric Cartman
: What? Mr. Garrison
: No, Kyle, you can't shock him unless he forgets the words. Kyle
: Sorry, Mr. Garrison.
] Oh Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say: Taoist, Krishnas, Buddhists and all you atheists too! Merry fucking Christmas to you!
] Hey there, Mr. Shintoist, Merry fucking Christmas! God is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum/ In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do/ So let's all rejoice for Jesus/Merry fucking Christmas to you!
] Hey there, Mister Hinduist/Merry fucking Christmas! Drink eggnog and eat some beef and pass it to the missus/In case you haven't noticed/It's Jesus' birthday/So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate!
] Hark, hear the bells/Sweet silver bells/ All seem to say, "Ding dong, M'kay".
: Not real, eh? If I wasn't real, could I sing this merry little song?
] Mr. Hankey
: Santa Claus is on his way / Load of goodies on his sleigh / He'll dump them all on Christmas day / And I'll say "Howdy Ho!"
: Hidey Ho.
] Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch. She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide. She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch. She's a bitch to all the boys and girls. Kyle
: Shut up Cartman Mr. Hankey
: Hideho! Kyle
: Mr Hankey. Cartman
: Yes Kyle's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch. Mr. Hankey
: Golly that isn't very nice. I sure would like to teach him lesson. Cartman
: Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a stupid dirty bitch. Kyle's mom is a bitch.
: [objecting to a Christmas symbol
] It's offensive to the Jewish community! Mr. Garrison
: You are the Jewish community!
: Okay, just what the heck is going on here, people? Citizen
: Mayor, we are deeply offended by the nativity scene in front of the state office. Church and state are separate! Crowd
: Yeah! Sheila Broflovski
: That isn't all, Mayor. The school play is doing a nativity scene. It isn't being sensitive to the Jewish community. Mr. Garrison
: You ARE the Jewish community! Cartman
: Oh boy. Super bitch is at it again! Kyle
: Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman! Father Maxey
: Mayor, the nativity is what Christmas is about. If you remove Christ, you must remove Santa and Frosty and all that garbage too! Crowd
: Hallelujah! Amen! Tree Lover
: And we must put a stop to the cutting down of Christmas trees! Crowd
: Yeah! Jimbo Kern
: And I am sick and tired of those little flaps on coffee lids. If you don't want to spill your coffee, then you shouldn't be driving with it!