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: If I had known I was gonna meet the president, I would've worn a tie. I mean, look at me. I look like a schlemiel.
: Everyone's trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in.
: If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?
: All you need is love. John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.
[Julius discards a styrofoam cup
] David Levinson
: Hey, you have any idea how long it takes for those cups to decompose? Julius Levinson
: If you don't move soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.
: [Levinson has invited him to pray
] I'm not Jewish. Julius Levinson
: Nobody's perfect.
[David Levinson is getting air sick
] Julius Levinson
: It's Air Force One, for crying out loud, and still he gets sick!
: David! What the hell are you doing? David Levinson
: Making a mess! Julius Levinson
: Yes, this I can see.
: Hey, hey, hey, don't you tell him to shut up! You'd all be dead now if it weren't for my David! None of you did anything to prevent this! Gen. Gray
: There was nothing we could do! We were totally unprepared for... Julius Levinson
: AAAHHH, don't give me unprepared! You knew about this for years! What,with that spaceship you found in New Mexico! What was it called... Roswell, New Mexico! And that other place... uh... Area 51, Area 51! You knew then! And you did nothing! President Thomas Whitmore
: Mr. Levinson, contrary to what you may have read in the tabloids, there is no Area 51. There is no spaceship... Albert Nimzicki
: Uh... excuse me, Mr. President? That's not entirely accurate. David Levinson
: What, which part?
: [as David is inspired with the idea for a computer virus
] What's the matter with you? David Levinson
: Genius. My dad. Total genius.
: [pointing to David's cigar
] Oh, so *this* is healthy? David Levinson
: I could get used to it!
: You punched the President? David Levinson
: He wasn't the President *yet*!
President Thomas Whitmore
: I don't understand, where does all this come from? How do you get funding for something like this? Julius Levinson
: You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?
: It's the White House, for crying out loud. You can't just go up and ring the doorbell.