Mr. Wickham
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Quotes for
Mr. Wickham (Character)
from "Pride and Prejudice" (1995)

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"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.2" (2008)
Amanda Price: Come on, then. Get it over with. Give me the shtick. Tell me all about Darcy robbing you of what was rightfully yours.
Mr. Wickham: So you have heard about this?
Amanda Price: I read about it.

Amanda Price: Take my tip, Wickham. Don't waste your time with this lot, especially Lydia, because I'm watching you. Every time you try to pull a stroke, I will be right behind you with a big neon sign, saying, "Don't trust this guy!"
Mr. Wickham: What is neon?
Amanda Price: Wait and see.

Mr. Wickham: Miss Price, I fear that your life with Mr Collins may be short of... gaiety. And if you find yourself nonplussed by the anticipated pleasures of married life, call upon me and I shall redress the deficit.

Mr. Wickham: Miss Price, I fear that your life with Mr. Collins may be short of gaeity. If you find yourself nonplussed by the anticipated pleasures of married life, call upon me and I shall redress the deficit.
Amanda Price: Full marks for trying George, but I wouldn't have my deficit redressed by you if you were the last man on earth.


"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.3" (2008)
Mr. Wickham: Do not touch your nose.
Amanda Price: I've got an itch.
Mr. Wickham: Ladies are strangers to the itch.

Mr. Wickham: You have chosen precisely the man I wish for you to choose. Swellerando, master of Pemberley. Brava!

Amanda Price: If you could somehow engineer it, that Darcy and I get married, then what happens to Frosty Knickers?
Mr. Wickham: I presume by that disparaging epithet you refer to the sublime Miss Bingley?
Amanda Price: She gets scooped up by you, you and your galloping, bloody horse.
Mr. Wickham: Caroline is rather rich. Maybe she IS the love of my life.
Amanda Price: You are repulsive!
Mr. Wickham: Yes, that's the tone.

Mr. Wickham: A war with France is traditional. A war with Paris... unthinkable


Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
George Wickham: The crown's funds are being drained.
Mr. Darcy: [incredulous] You're here to solicit money!
George Wickham: I'm here to propose a venture that would end the war forever. These new zombies can be reasoned with. With the proper funding I believe we can cultivate trust and even good will with this new iteration of the undead, who seem to posses an inherent power of the lower ranks of their kind.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [starts laughing, not believing] Zombie aristocrats?
Parson Collins: [smirking] Oh, really!
George Wickham: I prefer to think of them as souls lost in purgatory.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [considering] Hmm.
George Wickham: The common hordes look to them for leadership. It takes just one of them to realize that power and then to lead the hordes into battle.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: The undead are like locusts!
Parson Collins: [still smirking] Locusts.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [now determined] They go forth and destroy. They have no use for leaders!
Parson Collins: Oh, uh, except one actually.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [turning] Hmm?
Parson Collins: Oh, well, um, according to the Book of Revelation the antichrist shall lead the undead, uh, on the day that shall be the last day of mankind.

George Wickham: [about zombies] You see, if they never consume human brains they will never fully transform into zombies. St. Lazarus' is the key to find the ending the struggle between the living and the undead. We must force some kind of understanding with the most advanced among them.

George Wickham: [to Darcy, outside of the church cell] My God, you're so predictable. I knew by taking young Lydia you'd have to protect the Bennets' honor. So, come to kill me then?


Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Mr. Wickham: And buckles. When it comes to buckles, I'm lost.
Elizabeth Bennet: Dear, oh dear. You must be the shame of the regiment.
Mr. Wickham: Oh, a laughing stock!
Elizabeth Bennet: What DO your superiors do with you?
Mr. Wickham: Ignore me, mostly.

Mr. Wickham: I can't be trusted.

Elizabeth Bennet: Mr Collins is a man who makes you despair at the entire sex.
Mr. Wickham: Yours, I believe.


"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.4" (2008)
Amanda Price: Wickham. You are a bastard, but you are the right bastard at the right time.
Mr. Wickham: One does one's best.

Mr. Wickham: Where am I to sleep?
Amanda Price: I am grateful to you, George. But where you... put yourself tonight is not my concern. Perhaps you should address yoruself to Mr. Collins.
Mr. Wickham: I doubt Mr. Collins is equipped to give me satisfaction with regards to this enquiry.
Amanda Price: Then you must take matters into your own hands. Mine are full.


Bride & Prejudice (2004)
Mr. Wickham: [Darcy and Lalita have just saved Lakhi from Wickham, Lalita slaps him and walks off] Lalita, it was always you.
[Lakhi slaps him and walks off]


Pride and Prejudice (2003)
Jack Wickam: So... he used the old "multiply and replenish" line. Funny, that usually works for me. Maybe it was his delivery.
Elizabeth: His delivery was fine, I just didn't want the package.