Mr. Bennet
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Quotes for
Mr. Bennet (Character)
from "Pride and Prejudice" (1995)

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Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Mr. Bennet: [exits study, finds four of his daughters eavesdropping] Good heavens. People.

Mr. Bennet: Well, if Jane does die, it will be a comfort to know she was in pursuit of Mr. Bingley.
Mrs. Bennet: People do not *die* of colds.
Elizabeth Bennet: Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother.

Mr. Bennet: I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you... but it apppears I am overruled. So, I heartily give my consent.
Elizabeth Bennet: [kissing and hugging him] Thank you.
Mr. Bennet: I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy.

Mr. Bennet: How happy for you, Mr. Collins, to possess a talent for flattering with such... delicacy.
Elizabeth Bennet: Do these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?
Mr. Collins: They arise chiefly from what is passing of the time. And though I do sometimes amuse myself with arranging such little elegant compliments, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.
Elizabeth Bennet: Oh, believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.

Elizabeth Bennet: [about Mr. Darcy] He is not proud. I was wrong, I was entirely wrong about him. You don't know him, Papa. If I told you what he's really like, what he's done.
Mr. Bennet: What has he done?

[last lines, UK version]
Mr. Bennet: If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, for heaven's sake, send them in. I'm quite at my leisure.

Mrs. Bennet: Do you not want to know who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.

Mr. Bennet: Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... And I will never see you again if you do.

[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal]
Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins...
Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again!
Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger to one of your parents...
Mrs. Bennet: Who will maintain you when your father's gone?
Mr. Bennet: Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... and I will never see you again if you do.
Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Bennet!
Elizabeth Bennet: Thank you, Papa.

Mrs. Bennet: ...and then he danced the third with Miss Lucas.
Mr. Bennet: We were all there, dear.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, poor thing. It is a shame she's not more handsome. There's a spinster in the making and no mistake. The fourth with a Miss King, of little standing... and the fifth again with Jane.
Mr. Bennet: If he'd had any compassion for me, he would have sprained his ankle in the first set.

Elizabeth Bennet: He's been a fool about so many things, about Jane, and others... but then, so have I. You see, he and I are so similar.
[starts laughing helplessly]
Elizabeth Bennet: We've been nonsensical! Papa, I...
Mr. Bennet: [also starts laughing, softly] You really do love him, don't you?
Elizabeth Bennet: Very much.

Mr. Bennet: Lizzy, are you out of your senses? I thought you hated the man.
Elizabeth Bennet: No, Papa.
Mr. Bennet: He's rich, to be sure, and you will have more fine carriages than Jane. But will that make you happy?
Elizabeth Bennet: Have you no objection other than your belief in my indifference?
Mr. Bennet: None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of fellow... but that would be nothing if you really liked him.
Elizabeth Bennet: I do like him.
Mr. Bennet: Well...
Elizabeth Bennet: I love him.

Mr. Collins: Mrs. Bennet I was hoping, if it would not trouble you, that I might solicit a private audience with Miss Elizabeth in the course of the morning.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, yes. Certainly. Lizzy will be very happy indeed. Everyone, out. Mr. Collins would like a private audience with your sister.
Elizabeth Bennet: No, no, wait, please. I beg you. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.
Mrs. Bennet: No nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you will stay where you are. Everyone else to the drawing room. Mr. Bennet?
Mr. Bennet: But...
Mrs. Bennet: Now.

Mrs. Bennet: Now she'll have to stay the night. Exactly as I predicted.
Mr. Bennet: Good grief, woman. Your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.
[Mrs. Bennet giggles]
Elizabeth Bennet: Though I don't think, Mama, you can reasonably take credit for making it rain.

Mr. Bennet: Poor Jane. Still, a girl likes to be crossed in love now and then. It gives her something to think of... and a sort of distinction amongst her companions.

Mr. Bennet: [upon finding a very upset Mary] Mary, my dear Mary.
[hugs her]
Mr. Bennet: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Mary Bennet: [sobbing] I've been practicing all week.
Mr. Bennet: I know, my dear.
Mary Bennet: [sobbing] I hate balls!

Mrs. Bennet: Netherfield Park is let at last. Have you heard who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: I have.

[first lines]
Elizabeth Bennet: [to frolicking sisters] Lydia! Kitty!
Mrs. Bennet: My dear Mr Bennet, have you heard? Netherfield Park is let at last. Do you not want to know who has taken it?
Mr. Bennet: As you wish to tell me, my dear, I doubt I have any choice in the matter.

Mr. Bennet: How can that possibly affect them?
Mrs. Bennet: Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You know he must marry one of them!
Mr. Bennet: Ah, so that is his desire in settling here.
Mrs. Bennet: You must go and visit him at once!
Mr. Bennet: Good heavens. People.
Mrs. Bennet: For we may not visit if you do not, as you well know, Mr. Bennet!

Mr. Bennet: There's no need. I already have.
Mrs. Bennet: Have? Oh Mr Bennet! How can you tease me so? Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?
Mr. Bennet: Oh you mistake me, my dear. I have the highest respect for them. They've been my constant companions these twenty years.

Kitty Bennet: Papa!
Mrs. Bennet: Is he amiable?
Mary Bennet: Who?
Kitty Bennet: Is he handsome?
Mary Bennet: Who?
Lydia Bennet: He's sure to be handsome.
Elizabeth Bennet: For five thousand a year, it would not matter if he's got warts and a leer.
Mary Bennet: Who's got warts?
Mr. Bennet: I'll give my heartiest consent to his marrying whichever of the girls he chooses.
Lydia Bennet: So will he come to the ball tomorrow, Papa?
Mr. Bennet: I believe so.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Mr. Bennet: Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.

Mr. Bennet: [to Mr. Collins] My daughters are trained for battle, sir, not the kitchen.

Mr. Bennet: [in narration] It wasn't always like this, my dear daughters. As the century began, Britannia was rich with the fruits of worldwide trade. From the colonies there came not just silks and spices, but a virulent and abominable plague. Naturally many suspected the French were to blame. Are you surprised? Once bitten, the newly infected were filled with an insatiable hunger for the brains of the living. Millions perished, only to rise again as legions of undead. So certain it would seem the end of days had come. But even the four horsemen of the apocalypse are said to have ascended from hell. To protect the living, the Grand Barrier was built. A one hundred foot wall, encircling London. Then excavation began on the royal canal, a vast moat thirty fathoms deep surrounding both the city and its walls. The land twixt the two fortifications became known as The Inbetween. At this time it became fashionable to study the deadly arts of the Orient. Japan for the wealthy. China for the wise. In the second battle of Kent, one of the bridges that cross the royal canal was breached. Ravenous zombie hordes massacred every villager of The Inbetween. It was said the sight of this slaughter drove young King George mad. When the battle was finally won, he ordered the destruction of all the bridges, save one: Hingham Bridge. Which to this day remains the only means by which to cross the royal canal. Many believed the enemy was finally vanquished. The gentry began to leave the safe confines of London's defenses for their newly fortified country estates. But vigilance is still every essence. Remember this. Keep your swords as sharp as your wit. For the ultimate battle between the living and the undead has yet to be staged.

Mr. Bennet: [cunningly] An unhappy alternative is before you. Your mother will never speak to you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I will never speak to you again if you do.
Mrs. Bennet: [realizing, outraged] Who will maintain you when your father is dead? No one, Elizabeth Bennet! You shall become a poor and pathetic spinster!
Elizabeth Bennet: [near tears] Anything! Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without affection!

Parson Collins: Is there absolutely no negotiation over Jane?
Mrs. Bennet: The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins: Indeed.
Mr. Bennet: Be mindful of your talent for the delicate compliments, sir.

Mr. Bennet: Lizzie, don't go into the woods alone! Lizzie! I forbid you!

"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.4" (2008)
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [haughtily] I shall say what I have to say, and then I shall leave immediately. First, I made it pellucidly clear to you, Mrs. Bennet, over my salt, that I considered the brothers Collins an excellent match for your daughters. Yet you have done nothing to promote the cause. On the contrary, you have abandoned them to a house run by criminally incompetent servants. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
[stunned silence]
Mrs. Bennet: I say this. You are a prig, madam, a pander and a common bully. And you cheat at cards. Do you suppose you may enter my house and brandish your hat at me thus? I have a mind to turn you upside down and use you to scrape out Ambrosia's sty.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: [coldly] Madam, I take my leave of you.
Mrs. Bennet: Do! Or I shall take you out and set to scraping.
[Jane and Amanda try to stop themselves giggling]
Mrs. Bennet: Scrape, scrape, scrape I shall go!
Mr. Bennet: Tally ho, wife!
Mr Collins: Mrs. Bennet, you must desist.
Jane Bennet: Oh, be quiet, you silly man. Do you suppose Mama would permit her daughters to be married to your brothers, when before her very eyes is the specimen of you?
Amanda Price: Mrs. Bennet, that was... bloody marvellous.
Mrs. Bennet: [modestly] It *was* refreshing.

Mr. Bingley: Miss Lydia and I came yesterday and have spent our hours philosophizing. Although her father would have it, we've been making the beast with two backs.
Mr. Bennet: Time to take the weapons from the wall, Mr. Bingley! Pick up your damn spear and take guard!

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
Mrs. Bennet: I say this: You are a prig, Madam. A pander. And a common bully. And you cheat at cards! Do you suppose you may enter my house and brandish your hat at me thus? I have a mind to turn you upside down and use you to scrape out Ambrosia's sty.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh: Madam, I take my leave of you.
Mrs. Bennet: Do! Or I shall take you out and set to scraping! Scrape, scrape, scrape, I shall go!
Mr. Bennet: Tally-ho, wife!
Mr. Collins: Mrs. Bennet, you must desist!
Jane Bennet: Oh be quiet, you silly man. Do you suppose Mama would permit her daughters to be married to your brothers when before her very eyes is the specimen of you?

Mr. Bennet: Tonight Mrs. Bennet, with your permission, I think I shall sleep in our bedroom.

Mr. Bennet: The time has come for me to tie you well... and let you go.

"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.1" (2008)
Mr. Bingley: I've summoned hordes of friends from London. It should be quite a party. One that could only be enhanced should you consent to join it. All of you.
Mr. Bennet: Too kind, Sir, but I must beg to be excused. Large gatherings of society bring me out in hives. As do small gatherings.

Mrs. Bennet: It vexes me exceptionally that Elizabeth should choose to be abroad at such a time as this. And Hammersmith, Mr. Bennet? Is Hammersmith a likely sort of place?
Mr. Bennet: I was not aware that it *was* abroad, my dear, but I salute your superior command of geography.

Mr. Bennet: Jane, it appears you must now marry Mr. Darcy instead of Mr. Bingley.
Jane Bennet: It is not presently my plan, Sir, to marry either gentleman.
Mr. Bennet: No, but it *is* your mother's, so choose your hymns!

Mrs. Bennet: [shrieks] Jane has gone to Netherfield Park in this weather and Miss Price pursues her. Are you so obtuse, Mr. Bennet, that you do not see what is the matter here? She has gone to queer Jane's pitch!
Mr. Bennet: It is exciting when you bring the language of the theatre into this house, my dear, but might this room be returned to the purpose for which it was created? For me to sleep in - undisturbed.

Pride and Prejudice (1940)
Mr. Bennet: Well, we're hoping Elizabeth can manage to catch a cold of her own and stay long enough to get engaged to Mr. Darcy. Then, if a good snowstorm could be arranged, we'd send Kitty over. But if a young man should happen to be in the house - a young man who likes singing, of course, who can discuss philosophy - Mary could go. Then, if a dashing young soldier in a handsome uniform should appear for Lydia, everything would be perfect, my dear.

Lydia Bennet: Has anybody heard how Jane is this morning?
Mrs. Bennet: Eh, Mr. Bingley sent a note over by his groom. She's much better. Such a happy idea of mine sending her off in the rain.
Mr. Bennet: Yes, but to Jane must go all the credit for having caught the cold, my dear.

Mrs. Bennet: Look at them! Five of them without dowries. What's to become of them?
Mr. Bennet: Yes, what's to become of the wretched creatures? Perhaps we should have drowned some of them at birth.

Mary Bennet: Did you tell him you had five daughters, Papa?
Mr. Bennet: Well, I told him if he ran into five of the silliest girls in England, they would be my daughters!

"Pride and Prejudice: Episode #1.1" (1995)
Mrs. Bennet: [Discussing Darcy] He slighted poor Lizzy you know, flatly refused to stand up with her.
Mr. Bennet: Slighted my Lizzy, did he?
Elizabeth Bennet: I didn't care for him either, father, so it's of little matter.

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Bennet, nothing you say shall ever vex me again.
Mr. Bennet: I'm sorry to hear it.

Mr. Bennet: No lace. No lace, Mrs. Bennet, I beg you!

"Pride and Prejudice: Episode #1.6" (1995)
Mr. Bennet: Are you out of your senses to be accepting this man?

Mr. Bennet: Are you not excessively diverted?

"Lost in Austen: Episode #1.3" (2008)
Mrs. Bennet: Are you not happy that Jane is wed to Mr. Collins?
Mr. Bennet: Happy? That my kindest, prettiest daughter has embarked upon an adulthood of suffication to such a preening Caliban? Happy, Madam - that she should live in subjugation to such an enormity? I would rather sleep in a drain than consent to be happy!

Mr. Bennet: What news of Jane?
Kitty Bennet: No news of Jane. Mama frets about the inappropriateness of her hat and whether or not...
Mr. Bennet: It is too much excitement for me to bear.

"Pride and Prejudice: Episode #1.5" (1995)
Jane Bennet: I must take mama her tea.
Mr. Bennet: She still keeps her state above stairs? Lends such an elegance to our situation.

"Pride and Prejudice: Episode #1.2" (1995)
Mr. Bennet: An unhappy alternative lies before you, Elizabeth. Your mother will never see you again if you do *not* marry Mr Collins, and *I* will never see you again if you *do*.

"Pride and Prejudice: Episode #1.4" (1995)
Kitty Bennet: I heard that Mrs. Foster is to go sea-bathing.
Lydia Bennet: I would love to go sea-bathing.
Mrs. Bennet: A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever.
Mr. Bennet: And yet I am unmoved.