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: Kitty! Lydi! What have I told you about listening at the door! Lydia Bennet
: Shh! Nevermind that! It's Mr. Bingley, right from the North!
[Kitty is incoherent
] Lydia Bennet
: Five thousand a year! Elizabeth Bennet
: Really? Lydia Bennet
, Kitty Bennet
: [in unison
] He's single! Jane Bennet
: Who's single? Elizabeth Bennet
: A Mr. Bingley, apparently. Kitty Bennet
: Papa! Mrs. Bennet
: Is he amiable? Mary Bennet
: Who? Kitty Bennet
: Is he handsome? Mary Bennet
: Who? Lydia Bennet
: He's sure to be handsome. Elizabeth Bennet
: For five thousand a year, it would not matter if he's got warts and a leer. Mary Bennet
: Who's got warts? Mr. Bennet
: I'll give my heartiest consent to his marrying whichever of the girls he chooses. Lydia Bennet
: So will he come to the ball tomorrow, Papa? Mr. Bennet
: I believe so.
: Oh, Mama! You will never, ever, ever believe what we're about to tell you! Mrs. Bennet
: Well tell me quickly, my love! Lydia Bennet
, Kitty Bennet
: [in unison
] The regiment are coming! Mrs. Bennet
: Okay, *this* has got to stop. The house is a total mess. Kitty, disinfect!
[Kitty sprays disinfectant all over the room
] Lydia Merylon
: Now *we* are going to the grocery store - and *you* are coming with us! Elizabeth
: Just let me die! Jane
: We're out of ice-cream, Elizabeth!
: Oh, this is just great girls. Here we've just spent 20 minutes picking out the perfect array of romantic items, and what do we come back to find? Two kegs of ice cream, pills for cramping, pills for bloating, and six super size boxes of Tampax? Why don't we just put up a big neon sign that says, "Men, run for your lives! Menstruating monsters approaching!"
: For a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Mrs. Bennet
: Yes, he must indeed! And who better than one of our five girls? Lydia Bennet
: What a fine joke if he were to choose me! Kitty Bennet
: Or me!
[Lydia and Kitty laugh
] Jane Bennet
[Elizabeth notices that Darcy is watching her, and looks for a new subject of conversation with Colonel Forster
] Elizabeth Bennet
: Are you in Meryton to subdue the discontented populace, sir, or do you defend Hertfordshire against the French? Col. Forster
: Neither, ma'am, I trust. We hope to winter very peacefully at Meryton. My soldiers are in great need of training, and my officers, they have a great need of society. Elizabeth Bennet
: Then, as soon as you are settled, I hope you will give a ball. Mrs Forster
: Oh, yes, my dear, do! Col. Forster
: You think a ball would be well received? Lydia Bennet
: A ball? Who's giving a ball? I long for a ball!
: [discussing Mr. Collins
] Perhaps I should invite him to dine with us this evening. Lydia Bennet
: Aye, do, do. Take him away and feed him, for he's been in high dudgeon all morning.
: Lizzy, I hope you'll not keep Wickham to yourself all night. Kitty and I want to dance with him as well, you know. Elizabeth Bennet
: I promise I shall not. Even if I wished to, I could not. I have to dance at least the first two with Mr. Collins. Lydia Bennet
: Oh, Lord, yes. He's threatened to dance with us all.
: What's the deal here? Are we live on cable or something? Is this like the Jim Carrey thing, but period? Where are the cameras? Come on! What are you after, guys? A bit of girl-on-girl action under the covers? What do I have to do to get out of here? Snog her? Show you my pubes? Lydia Bennet
: What have you done to yourself? Amanda Price
: That's called a landing strip, Lydia. Standard pubic topiary.
: I heard that Mrs. Foster is to go sea-bathing. Lydia Bennet
: I would love to go sea-bathing. Mrs. Bennet
: A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever. Mr. Bennet
: And yet I am unmoved.