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: I have a dream. Tom
: What is your dream? George
: To have a dream.
: Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days. George
: You mean... You watched the video tape? Alien #1
: Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed. Tom
: Aw, you see, they are peaceful. Mahalik
: If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago? Alien #1
: Oh... that's how we say hello. George
: Well how do you guys say goodbye?
[an alien kicks George in the groin
: [in pain
] I had to ask.
: Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it. George
: I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence.
: Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back
: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
[puts hand up in the air
: and start livin' down here?
[puts hand down low
: Or what if we stop livin' over here
[puts his hand out to the side
: and start livin' over there?
[puts his hand to the other side
: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though. Mahalik
: For what? CJ
: Mice. Mahalik
: I thought she had rats? CJ
: No, rats are outside, mice are inside. Mahalik
: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse? CJ
: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'. Mahalik
: That's because it's a rat, fool! CJ
: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha! George
: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...
: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead. Tom
: Oh. I better tell her. George
: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue? Sue
: Yes? George
: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda? Sue
: Yeah. George
: She's dead! Sue
: Aah! George
: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog! Sue
: My dog's dead? George
: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
[Cindy comes home after leaving George to watch Cody and finds George sleeping on the table
: Oh my God! What happened? George
: I don't know... we were play this great game, then I looked down and...
[He looks down at his dice
[He stands up and bangs his head on the shelf, knocking himself out
: [to the Aliens
] So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago? Alien #1
: Oh, that's how we say hello. George
: Then how do you say good-bye?
[the Alien kicks him in the crotch
: Oooh... I had to ask... Alien #1
: If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.
[he starts peeing out of his finger
] President Harris
: Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...
[the President starts peeing out of his finger also
: [at Brenda's funeral
] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You? Cindy
: Brenda was my bitch.
: I can't believe you let that happen. George
: I know, I'm sorry. I screwed up. Cindy
: Listen, we can still save him. The answer to the tape, to your crop circles, is at a lighthouse. Oh, you think I'm crazy, don't you? George
: Of course I do.
: So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night. Brenda Meeks
: Oh, I don't believe this shit. George
: Word! You two should come down! I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen... ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo! Cindy
: Sounds good! George
: Would, could, should, 'hood. Brenda Meeks
: Ugh! George
: Gug, mug, dug, bug.
: Family, that's just what I've been running away from President Harris
: Well, that's because you're an idiot.
: [hugging George
: It's so hard. George
: Well, you're a beautiful woman, and you're pressing up against me.
: [George is wearing a white hoodie that makes him resemble a KKK member
] George, the hood! Lose the hood! George
: I know, we're in the hood now! Brenda Meeks
: He's a dead man. George
: [as crowd boos
] You guys feelin' me? In the hood?
[does what looks like a Heil Hitler salute
: Why is there an open casket? Cindy
: George it's a wake. George
: She's alive, Sue your teacher is alive! Cindy
: No George she's dead! George
: No Brenda! Don't die on me!
[starts doing CPR and mouth to mouth ressatession
: [people starts attacking george
: Hey get away from him broad!
[starts punches while complete caous ensues
: [takes two wires