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: Don't worry, Cindy! We'll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!
: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law. Buffy Gilmore
: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!
: Oh, look at me! I'm all dead!
: Oh, is this the climax? Well, I hope you don't mind if I fake it!
: Oh my god, we hit a boot! Greg
: Where's the foot?
: You got a dollar? Buffy Gilmore
: Get away from me, you bum. Cindy Campbell
: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich. Homeless Man
: I said a dollar, bitch.
: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us? Brenda
: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find. Shorty
: [Cut to Gail Haistorm interviewing Shorty about Drew Decker's death
: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son. Gail Hailstorm
: So how close were you to the victim? Shorty
: Oh real close. Right 'til the roofies wore and she woke up. Then she was all talkin' 'bout pressing charges so I just pulled my tongue outta her ass and left. Gail Hailstorm
: If you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words to her have been? Shorty
: Run bitch, run!
Beauty Pageant MC
] Here she is. Miss Teen, she's so fine. Such lovely tits...
[Buffy rips the crown and flowers out of the previous winner's hands
] Buffy Gilmore
: Give me my crown, bitch. Beauty Pageant MC
] ... and a great behind. There she is, doggy style anytime. And I'll do her behind behind and behind. Oh, there she is. She loves 69...
[a woman hurls a vase of flowers at Buffy, knocking her offstage
: Oh, now I am gonna fall and break my leg!
[Buffy snaps her leg
] Buffy Gilmore
: [before pushing a dead fisherman in the water
] Don't you think we should check his wallet first? Buffy Gilmore
: For what? Brenda
: Shit, he might have some money. Brenda
: Well, we already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass.