Buffy Gilmore
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Quotes for
Buffy Gilmore (Character)
from Scary Movie (2000)

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Scary Movie (2000)
Buffy Gilmore: Don't worry, Cindy! We'll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!

Deputy Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy Gilmore: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!

Buffy Gilmore: Oh, look at me! I'm all dead!

Buffy Gilmore: Oh, is this the climax? Well, I hope you don't mind if I fake it!

Buffy Gilmore: Oh my god, we hit a boot!
Greg: Where's the foot?

Homeless Man: You got a dollar?
Buffy Gilmore: Get away from me, you bum.
Cindy Campbell: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich.
Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch.

Buffy Gilmore: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
Brenda: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
Shorty: [Cut to Gail Haistorm interviewing Shorty about Drew Decker's death]
Shorty: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Gail Hailstorm: So how close were you to the victim?
Shorty: Oh real close. Right 'til the roofies wore and she woke up. Then she was all talkin' 'bout pressing charges so I just pulled my tongue outta her ass and left.
Gail Hailstorm: If you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words to her have been?
Shorty: Run bitch, run!

Beauty Pageant MC: [singing] Here she is. Miss Teen, she's so fine. Such lovely tits...
[Buffy rips the crown and flowers out of the previous winner's hands]
Buffy Gilmore: Give me my crown, bitch.
Beauty Pageant MC: [singing] ... and a great behind. There she is, doggy style anytime. And I'll do her behind behind and behind. Oh, there she is. She loves 69...
[a woman hurls a vase of flowers at Buffy, knocking her offstage]

Buffy Gilmore: Oh, now I am gonna fall and break my leg!
[Buffy snaps her leg]
Buffy Gilmore: Ow!

Cindy Campbell: [before pushing a dead fisherman in the water] Don't you think we should check his wallet first?
Buffy Gilmore: For what?
Brenda: Shit, he might have some money.
Brenda: Well, we already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass.