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: From now on, I'll use my gossip for good instead of evil.
: [Finds Helen Lovejoy at a sex shop
] The minister's wife? What are you doing here? Helen Lovejoy
: Uh, protesting. Reverend Lovejoy
: [Comes out of a dressing room wearing bondage wear
] Is this domineering enough for you? Helen Lovejoy
: Go back to the cowboy thing and wait in the car. Reverend Lovejoy
: Help me out here, Homer.
[Homer laughs uneasily and walks away
: [having a "Book Club" with women
] Okay, let's discuss "Tuesdays with Morrie." Cookie Kwan
: Again? If we don't get a new book, I'm gonna puke. Lindsey Naegle
: You're the five people I'm going to meet in hell!
[throws a book at Helen, barely missing her, ending up going through the window instead
: Down with taxes! Down with taxes! Helen Lovejoy
: Will someone please think of the children?
: You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you. Reverend Lovejoy
: Helen, please. Don't drop the J-bomb.
: Won't somebody please blame the children!
: My name is Helen Lovejoy and I'll be playing Stella. Apu
: I am Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. I play Steve. Otto
: My name is Otto. I'm playing Pablo. Lionel Hutz
: Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch. Marge
: I'm Marge Simpson, I'll be playing Blanche. I made some peanut butter brownies for everyone.
[Sinclair takes one and eats it
: Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality? Chief Wiggum
: I would.
: All these people are going to listen to my sermon. Helen Lovejoy
: Did Saint John worry about the crowd? Reverend Lovejoy
: He wrote letters! Any fool can write letters!
: [about Michelangelo's statue of David
] It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil!