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Quotes for
Maude Flanders (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

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"The Simpsons: Alone Again, Natura-Diddly (#11.14)" (2000)
Ned Flanders: Hi-diddly-ho, petal-to-the-metal-ophiles.
Homer Simpson: Flanders? Since when do you like anything cool?
Ned Flanders: Oh, I don't care for the speed, but I can't get enough of that safety gear - helmets, roll bars, caution flags...
Maude Flanders: I like the fresh air, and looking at the poor people in the infield.
Brandine: Dang, Cletus, why'd you have to park by my parents?
Cletus: Now, honey, they's my parents, too.

Maude Flanders: Neddy, I've had about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll get some hot dogs.
Ned Flanders: No foot-longs!
Maude Flanders: I know, they make you uncomfortable.

Maude Flanders: Neddy, I've had just about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll go get some hot dogs.
Ned Flanders: No foot-longs.
Maude Flanders: I know, they make you uncomfortable.


"The Simpsons: Grade School Confidential (#8.19)" (1997)
Principal Skinner: We're not coming down until you acknowledge and celebrate our love!
Maude Flanders: Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!


"The Simpsons: Home Sweet Home-Dum-Diddly Doodily (#7.3)" (1995)
Ned Flanders: Until this, I never thought Homer and Marge were bad parents, but now I know you kids need a less hellbound family!
Maude Flanders: Just sit back, and before you know it, you'll be part of the Flanders flock.
Bart: Ha ha! You're going to be Lisa Flanders!
Lisa Simpson: You're going to be "Bart" Flanders.
[Bart screams]
Maude Flanders: Oh, relax, Bart. Your sister Maggie isn't scared.
Bart: That's because she can't talk.
Maggie Simpson: [as she pulls her pacifier out] Daddily doodily!
[Maggie then turns her head around and looks at Bart and Lisa]


"The Simpsons: Lisa's Date with Density (#8.7)" (1996)
Ned Flanders: [awakened by the phone ringing] Howdily-diddely.
Homer Simpson: [on the phone via the auto-dialer] Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look...
Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again.
Maude Flanders: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone.
Ned Flanders: [Ned turns out the light and the phone rings again] Howdily-di.
Homer Simpson: Greetings, friends.
Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Dang!
Maude Flanders: I told you to unplug the phone.
Ned Flanders: But it could be my mother!
[the phone rings]
Ned Flanders: Howdy...
Homer Simpson: Greetings, friends...
Ned Flanders: [hangs up] Shoot!
Maude Flanders: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn.
Homer Simpson: [out his window] Will you two shut up? People are trying to sleep!


"The Simpsons: Bart Sells His Soul (#7.4)" (1995)
Girl with Sore Teeth: Unky Moe?
Moe Szyslak: [tries to hide in his anger] What is it, sweetheart?
Girl with Sore Teeth: My sodey is too cold and my teeth hurt.
Moe Szyslak: Oh, your teeth hurt, huh? Your teeth hurt...
[loses it]
Moe Szyslak: Well, that's too freakin' bad, you hear me! And I'll tell you where you can put your freakin' sodey too!
[the entire restaurant gasps]
Tod Flanders: [gets his ears covered] Ow, my freakin' ears!
[Ned and Maude gasp]
Maude Flanders: Oh, let's go, dear!
Ned Flanders: Well, I expect that type of language at Denny's but not here!


"The Simpsons: Realty Bites (#9.9)" (1997)
[Marge is showing Maude and Ned the murder house]
Ned Flanders: Oh, my-diddly-eye! Will you look at this place. And the price has been slashed repeatedly.
Maude Flanders: It's sure built solid. The kids could scream bloody murder and no one would hear.
Ned Flanders: Well, I'm just going to spill my guts. I love it to death. I'm going to give you a deposit this minute.


"The Simpsons: Homer Loves Flanders (#5.16)" (1994)
Maude Flanders: [Fleeing in their car as Homer chases them down the street] Come on, Ned. Move this thing.
Ned Flanders: [Yelling in frustration] I can't! It's a Geo!


"The Simpsons: Bart Gets an Elephant (#5.17)" (1994)
[Stampy has just escaped and is running through the Flanders' backyard]
Ned Flanders: It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!
Maude Flanders: That's horsemen, Ned.
Ned Flanders: Well, getting warmer.


"The Simpsons: Marge vs. the Monorail (#4.12)" (1993)
Maude Flanders: Excuse me, we could use the money to hire fireman to finally put out that blaze on the east side of town.
Homer: Boring!