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Quotes for
Martin Prince (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Simpsons: Bart of Darkness (#6.1)" (1994)
Martin Prince: [in the Pool-Mobile] Take your best shot! I'm wearing seventeen layers!
[all kids gather around Martin and snatch all of them]
Martin Prince: [gasps] I brought this on myself.
[runs away]

[last lines]
Martin Prince: More friends! More allies! More, I say. Hang those who talk of less. There's a few inches over here, ho!
[one more kid squeezes in, causing the pool to burst]
Martin Prince: My precious pool and its lifestyle accoutrements... no!
[everyone grumbles, leaves]
Nelson: [rips off Martin's bathing suit] Ha ha!
Martin Prince: Oh. The gentle caress of the summer breeze.
[sings]
Martin Prince: The summer wind came blowing in from across the sea...

[Martin has his family build a pool in their background to compete with Lisa's]
Martin Prince: Ah, my plan has come to fruition! Soon I'll be queen of summertime... uh, I mean king, king!


"The Simpsons: Dial 'N' for Nerder (#19.14)" (2008)
Martin Prince: Care to make it a trio, Bart? You can brush and I can blow.
Bart Simpson: Well, I agree you blow.
Martin Prince: Then it's a plan!
Bart Simpson: A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.
Martin Prince: High praise indeed.
Bart Simpson: If you looked up blow in the dictionary...
Lisa Simpson: Bart, he's not gonna get it.

Martin Prince: A bone? It could be from one of the major Homos!
Bart Simpson: You're one of the major...
Lisa Simpson: Forget it!

Martin Prince: To quote Mark Twain, rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Nelson Muntz: Yeah, rumors of your wussiness are a hundred percent true.


"The Simpsons: Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (#5.19)" (1994)
[Bart is making a show-and-tell presentation]
Bart Simpson: What has four legs and ticks?
Milhouse Van Houten: A walking clock?
Nelson Muntz: A walking clock!
Martin Prince: [to another kid] I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box.
Edna Krabappel: Bart, is it a walking clock?
Bart Simpson: Huh? No, it's my dog.


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror VI (#7.6)" (1995)
[in his dream, Martin is dressed as a wizard]
Martin: I am the wondrous wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma.
[Martin spots a blackboard with verbs written all over it]
Martin: Aha! "Morire": to die. "Morit": he, she, or it dies.
[Willie morphs out of the blackboard; Martin gasps]
Groundskeeper Willie: "Moris"? You die!
Martin: [runs off] Aah!
Groundskeeper Willie: [laughs] You've mastered a dead tongue, but can you handle a live one?
[Willie's tongue shoots out of his mouth, wraps around Martin, and squeezes him]
Groundskeeper Willie: [in class, Martin twists and screams, then collapses on the floor]
Nelson: Ha ha!


"The Simpsons: Burns' Heir (#5.18)" (1994)
Milhouse: [auditioning to become Burns's heir] I have nothing to offer you but my love.
Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool!
Nelson: Gimme your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in!
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list.
Martin Prince: [singing] Clang, clang, clang, went the trolley / Ring, ring, ring, went the bell / Zing, Zing, Zing, went my heartstrings...
[Nelson cold-cocks him]
Mr. Burns: Thank you! Give the bully an extra point.


"The Simpsons: The Great Wife Hope (#21.3)" (2009)
Marge Simpson: Is there someone in this bag?
Martin Prince: [Tied up inside bag] It's my own fault. I looked him in the eye as I was giving him my lunch money.
Marge Simpson: Someone should talk to your principal.
Principal Seymour Skinner: [Also tied up inside bag] I'm well aware of the situation.


The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Martin: [walks up to bullies, picks up wooden board] I've been taking your crap all my life!
[beats the bullies in one swipe]
Dolph, Jimbo Jones, Kearney: Uggghh!
Martin: Whoo! This feels good! No wonder you do it.


"The Simpsons: Cape Feare (#5.2)" (1993)
[getting death threat letters has made Bart paranoid on his way to school]
Marge: [menacingly, with large scissors] Bart... I'm going to GET you...
[brightly, clipping coupons]
Marge: ...some ice cream at the store since I'm saving so much money on Diet Cola.
[Bart walks down the street]
Ned Flanders: [menacingly, wearing a Freddy Kruger razor glove] Say your prayers, Simpson...
[brightly]
Ned Flanders: ...because the schools can't force you like they should.
[to Maude]
Ned Flanders: Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.
[Bart enters class]
Mrs. Krabappel: [menacingly] You're going to be my murder victim, Bart...
[brightly]
Mrs. Krabappel: ...in our school production of Lizzy Borden, starring Martin Prince as Lizzy.
[Martin is wearing a dress and a wig, wielding an axe]
Martin Prince: Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart.


"The Simpsons: Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish' (#7.22)" (1996)
Grampa: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
[the children laugh]
Martin Prince: "Dickety"? Highly dubious!
Grampa: What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!


"The Simpsons: Lisa's Substitute (#2.19)" (1991)
Martin Prince: As your president, I would demand a science-fiction library, featuring an ABC of the genre. Asimov, Bester, Clarke.
Student: What about Ray Bradbury?
Martin Prince: I'm aware of his work...


"The Simpsons: Bart the Genius (#1.2)" (1990)
Principal Seymour Skinner: You there, no chewing gum on school grounds! In the trash can with it.
Martin Prince: Principal Skinner, one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property.
Principal Seymour Skinner: Oh, where?
Martin Prince: Over there sir. See!
Milhouse van Houten: Look out Bart! Here comes Skinner!
Bart: Yikes!


"The Simpsons: Brother from the Same Planet (#4.14)" (1993)
[Bart's class is having Show and Tell]
Bart: Someday, I want to be an F-14 pilot like my hero, Tom. He lent me this new weapon called a neural disrupter.
[Bart demonstrates the sheer power of the neural disrupter by shooting it at Martin's forehead]
Martin Prince: Hey...
[falls down on the ground, twitching]
Mrs. Krabappel: He's not dead, is he Bart?
Bart: Nah, but I wouldn't give him any homework for awhile.
Mrs. Krabappel: Very good, Bart. Thank you.
Bart: Oh, don't thank me. Thank an unprecedented eight-year military build-up.
Mrs. Krabappel: Mmm. Milhouse, you're next.
Milhouse Van Houten: Uh, I have a horsey.
[mimics his toy horse neighing in a slurry way which then trails off]
Nelson Muntz: Wuss!


"The Simpsons: Bart Gets a 'Z' (#21.2)" (2009)
Principal Seymour Skinner: I'd love to have Edna back, but I can't just fire a teacher if he's doing a good job, or even an adequate job, or shows up at all without touching someone.
Zachary Vaughn: [Chanting out in the hall] I hate children! I hate children! Children suck! Children suck!
Principal Seymour Skinner: What's this? Teacher's lounge talk in the hallways?
Zachary Vaughn: I hate children! You and you and you and you! School is useless! Hilary Swank never graduated high school, and she won two Oscars, one of which she deserved.
Principal Seymour Skinner: You said you didn't put liquor in his drink.
Bart Simpson: I didn't.
Zachary Vaughn: I mixed vodka with my Blue Bronco. Anyone else want to ride the indigo pony?
Martin Prince: Is there extra credit?
Zachary Vaughn: Oh, they're gonna eat you alive at CalTech. Alive!


"The Simpsons: Kamp Krusty (#4.1)" (1992)
Mr. Prince: We'll see you when you get back from image enhancement camp.
Martin Prince: Spare me your euphemisms! It's fat camp, for Daddy's chubby little secret!
Mr. Prince: You promised you wouldn't make a scene.


"The Simpsons: The Haw-Hawed Couple (#18.8)" (2006)
Martin Prince: Individually we are weak, like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot.


"The Simpsons: Bart Star (#9.6)" (1997)
Martin Prince: Hey, Bart. We wear the same underpants!


"The Simpsons: Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson (#23.10)" (2012)
Ted Nugent: I caught me a fat old badger.
Martin Prince: But I'm a little boy.
Ted Nugent: All I hear is chitter-chitter.


"The Simpsons: Moms I'd Like to Forget (#22.10)" (2011)
Martin Prince: [Tears his shirt in rage] Rumble!
Nelson Muntz: Just go home.
Martin Prince: [meekly] Thank you.


"The Simpsons: Three Men and a Comic Book (#2.21)" (1991)
[while Milhouse is dangling out of the treehouse, Bart is trying to pull him up with one hand, while reaching for the comic with the other]
Martin Prince: I'd like to point out that if I weren't tied up, I could be saving the comic as we speak.
Bart: Shut up, shut up!