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Quotes for
Agnes Skinner (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

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"The Simpsons: The Principal and the Pauper (#9.2)" (1997)
Abe Simpson: [to Agnes] Hello Beautiful.
Agnes Skinner: In your dreams!
Abe Simpson: We'll see about that!
[He falls asleep]
Abe Simpson: [Talking in his dream] Hello Beautiful.

Homer Simpson: [Homer is driving the family car] Okay, once more. Where are we going?
Mrs. Krabappel: To Capitol City.
Homer Simpson: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
[Camera pulls back to reveal Mrs. Krabappel and Mrs. Skinner sitting next to him]
Agnes Skinner: We're going to talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
Homer Simpson: And why is Marge here?
[Camera pulls back again to reveal Marge riding shotgun]
Marge Simpson: I came up with the idea.
Homer Simpson: And why am I here?
Marge Simpson: Because the streets of Capitol City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
Homer Simpson: And why are the kids here?
[Camera pulls back to reveal Bart, Lisa and Maggie in the back seat, sticking their heads out of the window]
Marge Simpson: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
Homer Simpson: Then why is Grandpa here?
[Camera pulls back to reveal that the kids are sitting in Grandpa's lap]
Abe Simpson: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
[Jasper turns his head around, revealing he is riding in the very rear]


"The Simpsons: The Fight Before Christmas (#22.8)" (2010)
Agnes Skinner: How come you're not off fighting like a real man?
Homer Simpson: I'm too fat to fit in a foxhole.


"The Simpsons: The Cartridge Family (#9.5)" (1997)
Agnes Skinner: [Homer turns the TV on by shooting his gun at it] I've never seen such recklessness!
Louie: You mighta hurt someone!
Cletus: Are you some kind of moron?
Homer: Yeah, but...
Krusty: Hey, yutz! Guns aren't toys. They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the King of England out of your face.


"The Simpsons: Little Girl in the Big Ten (#13.20)" (2002)
Principal Skinner: Now I will take any questions from Honor Students.
Agnes Skinner: [Agnes shows up at the school knocking a student out of her way] I've got a question. How dare you wear white? I hear what you do at night.
Principal Skinner: Security!
Agnes Skinner: [Two Kids drag Agnes off the school grounds] Get your hands off of me.


"The Simpsons: Worst Episode Ever (#12.11)" (2001)
Agnes Skinner: Why you ill-mannered sack of crap!


The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Agnes Skinner: [pointing to Bart who skateboards past naked] Don't look where I'm pointing!


"The Simpsons: Lost Verizon (#20.2)" (2008)
Principal Skinner: I can't believe I'm out of gas. I put in one dollar of gas and I've only driven ninety cents.
Mrs. Skinner: You had to drive with the windows open, didn't you, Rockefeller?


"The Simpsons: In Marge We Trust (#8.22)" (1997)
Agnes Skinner: Seymour, tell these people we're going ahead of them.
Principal Skinner: I'm not the principal of the line, mother.
Agnes Skinner: And you never will be.


"The Simpsons: The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed (#21.16)" (2010)
Ned Flanders: Now let us upload the holy Tweet of the Lord.
Agnes Skinner: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo Jones: Hey! As a youth, if I don't hear a computer word every few seconds, I'm out of here.