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: Krusty the Clown, how do you plead? Krusty the Clown
: I plead guilty, Your Honor.
[Sensation. Krusty's lawyer hurriedly whispers in his ear
] Krusty the Clown
: I mean, not guilty. Opening night jitters, Your Honor.
: Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself? Krusty the Clown
] Is it a crime to be illiterate? Attorney
: All right, all right. See this, Krusty?
[holds up an evidence label with a "B" on it
: This is a "B." And this is exhibit B.
[holds up betting slips
: Betting slips - obtained by this court indicating that you have lost substantial sums of money on sports gambling. Krusty the Clown
: [nearly crying
] Is it a crime to bet on sporting events? Attorney
: Yes, it is! Krusty the Clown
: And so ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I rest my case. Judge Snyder
: Hmm. Mr Hutz. Do you realize you're not wearing any pants? Lionel Hutz
: I... Ahh!
[David Crosby shakes his head in shame
] Lionel Hutz
: I move for a 'bad court thingy'. Judge Snyder
: You mean a *mistrial?* Lionel Hutz
: Yeah! That's why you're the 'judge' and I'm the 'law talking guy?' Judge Snyder
: The *lawyer?* Lionel Hutz
[the Simpsons hire Lionel Hutz - also advertising "expert shoe repair" to represent them in a custody battle with Burns over Bart
] Judge Snyder
: [bangs gavel
] The Court rules in favor of Mr. Burns. I find he is clearly the boy's biological father! Lionel Hutz
: [hammers a nail
] Excuse me, Judge, these won't be ready until Thursday. Marge Simpson
: [to Homer
] You know, we've really got to stop hiring him.
: I sentence you to life... Homer Simpson
: You moron! I'm already alive! Judge Snyder
: ...in prison. Homer Simpson
[Principal Skinner has just burst into the courtroom, "back from the dead", saving Bart from jail for his "murder" with his explanation on what happened to him
] Prosecuting Attorney
: Your Honor, the prosecution moves that Principal Skinner's testimony be stricken from the record! Judge Snyder
] Denied! Case dismissed!
: Mr. Burns, in light of your unbelievable contempt for human life, this court fines you $3million. Montgomery Burns
: Smithers, my wallet's in my right front pocket.
[Smithers hands over the money
] Montgomery Burns
: Oh, and I'll take that statue of justice too. Judge Snyder