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Quotes for
Judge Snyder (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

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"The Simpsons: Krusty Gets Busted (#1.12)" (1990)
Judge Snyder: Krusty the Clown, how do you plead?
Krusty the Clown: I plead guilty, Your Honor.
[Sensation. Krusty's lawyer hurriedly whispers in his ear]
Krusty the Clown: I mean, not guilty. Opening night jitters, Your Honor.

Judge Snyder: Can it be that the champion of child literacy can't even read himself?
Krusty the Clown: [distraught] Is it a crime to be illiterate?
Attorney: All right, all right. See this, Krusty?
[holds up an evidence label with a "B" on it]
Attorney: This is a "B." And this is exhibit B.
[holds up betting slips]
Attorney: Betting slips - obtained by this court indicating that you have lost substantial sums of money on sports gambling.
Krusty the Clown: [nearly crying] Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?
Attorney: Yes, it is!
Krusty the Clown: [sheepishly] Oh.

"The Simpsons: Marge in Chains (#4.21)" (1993)
Lionel Hutz: And so ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I rest my case.
Judge Snyder: Hmm. Mr Hutz. Do you realize you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: I... Ahh!
[David Crosby shakes his head in shame]
Lionel Hutz: I move for a 'bad court thingy'.
Judge Snyder: You mean a *mistrial?*
Lionel Hutz: Yeah! That's why you're the 'judge' and I'm the 'law talking guy?'
Judge Snyder: The *lawyer?*
Lionel Hutz: Right.

"The Simpsons: Burns' Heir (#5.18)" (1994)
[the Simpsons hire Lionel Hutz - also advertising "expert shoe repair" to represent them in a custody battle with Burns over Bart]
Judge Snyder: [bangs gavel] The Court rules in favor of Mr. Burns. I find he is clearly the boy's biological father!
Lionel Hutz: [hammers a nail] Excuse me, Judge, these won't be ready until Thursday.
Marge Simpson: [to Homer] You know, we've really got to stop hiring him.

"The Simpsons: Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times (#18.11)" (2007)
Judge Snyder: I sentence you to life...
Homer Simpson: You moron! I'm already alive!
Judge Snyder: prison.
Homer Simpson: Ah!

"The Simpsons: Bart the Murderer (#3.4)" (1991)
[Principal Skinner has just burst into the courtroom, "back from the dead", saving Bart from jail for his "murder" with his explanation on what happened to him]
Prosecuting Attorney: Your Honor, the prosecution moves that Principal Skinner's testimony be stricken from the record!
Judge Snyder: [shouts] Denied! Case dismissed!

"The Simpsons: Marge vs. the Monorail (#4.12)" (1993)
Judge Snyder: Mr. Burns, in light of your unbelievable contempt for human life, this court fines you $3million.
Montgomery Burns: Smithers, my wallet's in my right front pocket.
[Smithers hands over the money]
Montgomery Burns: Oh, and I'll take that statue of justice too.
Judge Snyder: Sold!