Kent Brockman
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Quotes for
Kent Brockman (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Simpsons: Homer the Vigilante (#5.11)" (1994)
Kent Brockman: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and in this house a creature *was* stirring. But the only thing he was stirring was: up trouble.

Kent Brockman: Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
Homer Simpson: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.
Kent Brockman: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer Simpson: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Kent Brockman: [pause] Well, touché.

Kent Brockman: Well, it looks like we have our first caller. And I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show.


"The Simpsons: You Kent Always Say What You Want (#18.22)" (2007)
Kent Brockman: Earlier in this broadcast, I said a word so vile it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting in the toilet.

Kent Brockman: Excuse me, did you see the six o'clock news?
Comic Book Guy: No, I get my news from the internet, like a normal person under seventy. Farewell, dinosaur.

Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, our report from the Middle East will not be seen, so that we may bring you a man who bought an ice cream cone.
Homer Simpson: That's me.
Kent Brockman: Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that the ice cream parlor and this station are owned by the same company, but I digress.

Kent Brockman: Reporters used to expose corruption and corporate greed. Now, like toothless babies, they suckle at the teat of misinformation and poop it into the diaper called the six-o'clock news.


"The Simpsons: Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (#8.18)" (1997)
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, what you are seeing is a total disregard for the things St. Patrick's Day stand for. All this drinking, violence, destruction of property. Are these the things we think of when we think of the Irish?

Kent Brockman: Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.

Kent Brockman: "What are you lookin' at?" - the innocent words of a drunken child.


"The Simpsons: The Cartridge Family (#9.5)" (1997)
Kent Brockman: What started out as a traditional soccer riot has quickly escalated into a city-wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby declared "mob rule", meaning for the next several years, it's every family for themselves...

Homer: [the soccer game has bored everyone to silence] Boring!
Krusty the Clown: Come on, you shnorers! Do something!
Kent Brockman: [bored] Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it.
[sighs]
Kent Brockman: Holds it.
Foreign-accented sports commentator: [excited] Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds It!

Homer: [the Mexican soccer team has the first possession of the ball and is cautiously kicking the ball around, setting up for a goal as the Portugal team stands there, awaiting the play to develop. The crowd quickly grows bored]
[shouts]
Homer: Boring!
Krusty: Come on, you schnorers, do something!
Kent Brockman: [sounding bored as he calls the actions] Halfback passes to the center. Back to the wing. Back to the center. Center holds it. Holds it.
[rolls eyes]
Kent Brockman: Holds it...
Foreign-accented sports commentator: [excitedly] Halfback passes to center, back to wing, back to center, center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!
Sideshow Mel: I can't bear this any longer, I'm leaving!
Moe: Yeah, not before me you ain't.
Ned Flanders: Now, now, there's plenty of exits for everyone!
Moe: Oh, that's it, you're dead, pal!
[puts Flanders into a headlock]
Principal Skinner: Hey, now, that's uncalled for.
Lenny: Shut your hole, Skinner!
[punches Skinner in the stomach which causes him to fall down the stairs]


"The Simpsons: Homer Badman (#6.9)" (1994)
Kent Brockman: [Voicing-over an aerial shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast] This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at eight o'clock for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came, and when Marge Simpson put the cat out... possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.

Kent Brockman: [Voicing over a frontal shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast] Of course, there's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So let's turn it on!
[Shot suddenly changes to an xray-like image of the house, with two distinct orange heat sources. One is the entire Simpson family, including Homer, sitting on the couch, the other is a turkey-shaped silhouette rotating in the oven]
Kent Brockman: Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.
[Camera zooms in for a clear shot of the turkey]
Kent Brockman: His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

Kent Brockman: [Rounding out a news story on Homer's sexual harassment scandal] Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding. Unless proposition 304 passes, and we all pray it will.


"The Simpsons: A Tale of Two Springfields (#12.2)" (2000)
[the residents of Old Springfield discover gold in the river after Homer turns off the dam]
Kent Brockman: Thanks, Mayor Simpson! From now on, we'll all be taking golden showers.
[muffled laughter is heard in the background]
Kent Brockman: What?

Kent Brockman: [talking about the people of "New Springfield" when a new area code divides the town] They also tend to use low-brow expressions like "Oh, yeah!" and "Comere a minute."
Homer Simpson: [watching the TV with Bart] Oh, yeah, they think we're low class. Hey, Bart, comere a minute.
Bart: You comere a minute.
Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah...

Kent Brockman: The Who will be playing tonight at Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena.


"The Simpsons: Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington (#14.14)" (2003)
Kent Brockman: -When trying to convince the TV audience that it really is a live broadcast- How can I prove to you we're live? Penis!

Kent Brockman: [Doing a live newscast] How can I prove that we're live? Penis.


"The Simpsons: The Trouble with Trillions (#9.20)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Otto: Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?

Kent Brockman: Sir, uh, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Krusty the Clown: Because I'm an idiot! Happy?
Kent Brockman: [back to the camera] Of course not everyone is an idiot.


"The Simpsons: Lisa the Beauty Queen (#4.4)" (1992)
Kent Brockman: [on TV] Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today.
[the TV shows footage of a goat being fed a bottle of milk]
Kent Brockman: Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh, but it does seem the father of deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "Do not write in this space", he wrote "Okay".
Homer: [to Lisa] If it wasn't for me, you'd still be queen. You must hate me.
Lisa: Dad, do you remember why you entered me in that pageant?
Homer: I don't know. Was I drunk?
Lisa: Possibly. But the point is, you wanted me to feel better about myself. And I do.
Homer: Really?
Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life?
Lisa: It's a deal.
[Lisa and Homer hug each other]
Kent Brockman: And now, my exclusive interview with His Holiness, Pope John Paul II.
[the goat footage plays again]
Kent Brockman: That's it. I cannot work under these conditions. If anybody wants me, I'll be downstairs at McDougal's. Call the weekend guy, I don't care!
[sound of Brockman slamming the door]

Kent Brockman: It does seem the father of deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "Do not write in this space", he wrote "Okay."


The Simpsons Movie (2007)
[the police have just found Homer's pig crap silo, which is marked "Return to Homer Simpson"]
Kent Brockman: Now, Channel 6 does not endorse vigilante violence. Unless it gets results... which it *will*.
[a picture of Homer appears in the upper-right hand corner]
News Text: [flashing] GET HIM!

Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman here reporting on a crisis so serious it has its own name and theme music.
[graphic shows the domed Springfield on a styrofoam cup labeled "Trappuccino" as ominous music plays]
Kent Brockman: The dome has put an end to life as we know it. The town is running low on supplies of everything from gasoline to Botox.
[Kent's face droops]
Kent Brockman: Moment, please.
[clips skin on back of neck]
Kent Brockman: And, as always, we end our broadcast with news on the lighter side. It's the time of year when the swallows return to Springfield.
[cut to swallows crashing into dome, as hungry cats await below]


"The Simpsons: A Tree Grows in Springfield (#24.6)" (2012)
Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman vowing to debunk this so-called miracle. The idiotic things people believe in. Up next, stay tuned for your winning lottery numbers! It's your turn for sure!

Kent Brockman: A hundred-dollar bill for whoever gives me the truth about the so-called miracle tree.
Moe Szyslak: I'll take that. The tree is a fraud!
[Sees bill]
Moe Szyslak: I just got a hundred bucks! The tree is real!


"The Simpsons: Bart's Comet (#6.14)" (1995)
Kent Brockman: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work.

Kent Brockman: Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. Doesn't seem to matter now, so... the following people are gay.
[a list flashes by hurriedly]
Marge Simpson: Turn it off!
Homer: [copying down the list quickly] Just a second...


"The Simpsons: $pringfield (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) (#5.10)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: Now, at the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on YOU, the viewers.

Kent Brockman: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch.


"The Simpsons: Homer Loves Flanders (#5.16)" (1994)
Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.

Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.
TV Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning.


"The Simpsons: Lisa the Skeptic (#9.8)" (1997)
Lisa: If you believe in angels then why not unicorns or leprechauns?
Kent Brockman: Oh Lisa everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.

Kent Brockman: [Over the TV] Coming up next, an hilarious boat give-a-way scam, that's Springfield's Dumbest Criminals!
Homer Simpson: [laughs] Sounds like good watching.


"The Simpsons: The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (#8.14)" (1997)
Doug: [wearing a T-shirt that says "Genius at Work"] Hi. A question for Miss Bellamy. In episode 2F09 when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
June Bellamy: Uh, well...
Homer: I'll field this one.
Homer: [to Doug] Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?
[pause]
Doug: I withdraw my question.
[takes a bite from a bar of chocolate]
Database: Uh, excuse me, Mr Simpson. On the Itchy & Scratchy CD-ROM, is there a way to get out of the dungeon without using the wizard key?
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?
June Bellamy: You're a lifesaver, Homer. I can't deal with these hard-core fans.
Comic Book Guy: [clears throat] Your attention, please.
Man: [everyone is still paying attention to June Bellamy & Homer] Uh, in episode...
Comic Book Guy: [interrupting] EH, YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE! Mr Simpson will now be autographing 8-by-10 glossies of Poochie. ONE per customer. Please form a line. There will be no cutting.
[points to someone off-screen]
Comic Book Guy: I'm talking to you, Mr Cutter.


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror VI (#7.6)" (1995)
Kent Brockman: Even as we speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town. Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family.
Homer Simpson: We'll be right back.


"The Simpsons: Bart Gets Famous (#5.12)" (1994)
Bart: Yoink!
Kent Brockman: Yoink?


"The Simpsons: Simpson Tide (#9.19)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.
Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror IX (#10.4)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: [grim] ... and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night.
[brightens]
Kent Brockman: On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.


"The Simpsons: The President Wore Pearls (#15.3)" (2003)
Kent Brockman: [after Michael Moore has given Kent a ridiculous statistic] Where did you get that statistic?
Michael Moore: Your Mother!


"The Simpsons: Deep Space Homer (#5.15)" (1994)
Kent Brockman: I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves!


"The Simpsons: Krusty Gets Busted (#1.12)" (1990)
Kent Brockman: From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Mississippi, Krusty climbed to the top of a personal mini-empire, with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers: Krusty's near-fatal on-air heart attack in 1986.
[clip plays]
Krusty the Clown: Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids? Well, we've got another one coming right up. But first! I've got a hankerin' for some pork products! Mmmm... Look! Plump, succulent sausage. Honey-smoked bacon. And glistening, sizzling...
[Krusty gasps and moans, and slowly collapses, clutching his chest. All the children in the audience laugh]
Krusty the Clown: Gah! I'm dying... I'm dying...
Kent Brockman: [chuckles]


"The Simpsons: Skinner's Sense of Snow (#12.8)" (2000)
[Arnie's helicopter goes down during a snowstorm]
Arnie Pie: Mayday, mayday. We're going down. Tell my wife I love...
Kent Brockman: [Chuckles and shuffles papers] That's great, Arnie.


"The Simpsons: Sideshow Bob Roberts (#6.5)" (1994)
Kent Brockman: Alright, let's go live to Bob headquarters now, for Mayor Terwilliger's victory speech.
Sideshow Bob: [approaches podium] Ahem. Heh, heh, heh. Hah, hah hah, hah hah!
[laughter grows progressively more maniacal]
Sideshow Bob: HA! HA HA HA HA HA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAA! HAAAA!
Kent Brockman: And just look how happy he is.


"The Simpsons: A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (#13.4)" (2001)
Mr. Burns: I don't understand it. I turned around and she was gone, along with my virile younger friend.
Kent Brockman: Well, according to our poll 49% of the viewers think "he's too old", while 51% think "she's a skank".


"The Simpsons: Homer's Enemy (#8.23)" (1997)
[first lines of an episode]
Kent Brockman: ...which, if true, means death for us all.


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror IV (#5.5)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: Another local peasant has been found dead, drained of his blood with two teeth marks on his throat. This black cape was found on the scene.
[the cape says "DRACULA."]
Kent Brockman: Police are baffled.


"The Simpsons: Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (#28.1)" (2016)
Kent Brockman: Springfield has risen from the ashes like a phoenix. That's phoenix the mythical bird, and not Phoenix the cultureless Mars-scape of the southwest.


"The Simpsons: Bart's Inner Child (#5.7)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: A new mood is in the air in Springfield, as refreshing as a pre-moistened towelette. Folks are finally accepting their feelings and really communicating with no holding back. And this reporter thinks it's about *beep*ing time!


"The Simpsons: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie (#4.6)" (1992)
Kent Brockman: Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years.
Man: [hic] Kill me.
[hic]
Man: Kill me.


"The Simpsons: To Surveil, with Love (#21.20)" (2010)
Kent Brockman: The explosion released enough radiation to create 17 Hulks and one Spider-Man, according to this artist rendering.
[Shows picture of the Hulks playing baseball with Spider-Man as pitcher]
Kent Brockman: Truly disturbing.


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XVII (#18.4)" (2006)
Kent Brockman: It's blob rule in the streets of Springfield, and if that weren't bad enough, we're also being attack by a 50-foot Lenny.
Lenny: Homer gets more attention than me.
Carl: [unseen] I still like you.
Lenny: Thanks, invisible Carl.


"The Simpsons: Marge on the Lam (#5.6)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: At the risk of editorializing, these women are guilty, and must be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion. Otherwise, their behavior could incite other women leading to anarchy of biblical proportions.
[pause, pounds desk]
Kent Brockman: It's in "Revelations", people.


"The Simpsons: Dark Knight Court (#24.16)" (2013)
Kent Brockman: This town has been hit by a plague... a blue bonnet plague. Easter time is here, and everyone is dressed up to celebrate the resurrection of...
[Looks at notes]
Kent Brockman: ... Jesus Christ.


"The Simpsons: The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace (#10.2)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: The phony pope can be identified by his high top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth.


The Simpsons: Cartoon Studio (1996) (VG)
Kent Brockman: Only affects bald men and blue-haired women.


"The Simpsons: The Heartbroke Kid (#16.17)" (2005)
[Spengler has harnessed the patients at his weight-loss clinic to a chariot]
Tab Spangler: Here's what's going to happen. You're going to pull me in this chariot while I whip you and you tell me how you got so fat.
[cracks whip]
Tab Spangler: Go!
Kent Brockman: I'm Kent Brockman. I gorge on kettle corn between weather and sports.
Tab Spangler: We know. Your side-fat is spilling over to Channels 5 and 7. I hope you're getting three paychecks.
[cracks whip]
Bart Simpson: I'm Bart Simpson. I'm just big-boned.
Tab Spangler: [cracks whip] No such thing!
Bart Simpson: Growth spurt?
Tab Spangler: [cracks whip] Doesn't exist!
Bart Simpson: This can't be legal!
Tab Spangler: [cracks whip] It's legal enough!


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror VII (#8.1)" (1996)
Kent Brockman: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you, instead of President Clinton?
Kang: It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way your planet is doomed. Doomed!
Kent Brockman: Well, a refreshing bit of candor from Senator Bob Dole.


"The Simpsons: Who Shot Mr. Burns? (#7.1)" (1995)
Kent Brockman: Dozens of people are gunned down each day, but until now, none of them was important. I'm Kent Brockman. At 3:00 PM Friday, local autocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot, following a tense confrontation at town hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to "alive."


"The Simpsons: Homer Alone (#3.15)" (1992)
Kent Brockman: Hello, this is Kent Brockman, reporting to you live from Arnie Pie's traffic copter. But let me assure you that this is no mere morning traffic report...
Arnie Pie: Hey!
Kent Brockman: Face the facts, Arnie.


"The Simpsons: The Fool Monty (#22.6)" (2010)
Kent Brockman: A philantropist. A humanitarian. A man of peace. These are just a few of the men who have come to spit on Montgomery Burns' grave.


"The Simpsons: Kamp Krusty (#4.1)" (1992)
[Kent Brockman is covering a summer camp mutiny]
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.


"The Simpsons: Tennis the Menace (#12.12)" (2001)
Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.
Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?
[focuses in on ear plug/mic]
Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.
Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
Homer: Get off my property.


"The Simpsons: Last Exit to Springfield (#4.17)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: Now, Mr. Burns, you said you wanted an opening tirade.
Mr. Burns: Yes, thank you, Kent. Fifteen minutes from now, I will wreak a terrible vengeance on this city. No one will be spared. NO ONE.
Kent Brockman: [chuckles] A chilling portrait of things to come.


"The Simpsons: There's Something About Marrying (#16.10)" (2005)
Kent Brockman: Now, Reverend Simpson...
Homer Simpson: Please, Kent, call me your Your Holiness.


"The Simpsons: Wild Barts Can't Be Broken (#10.11)" (1999)
Kent Brockman: [to Homer] Sir, your beloved Isotopes are about to make history. Any thoughts?
Homer Simpson: Uh-huh, it's a great team, Kent. We never gave up hope. I wanna thank Jesus and say hi to my special lady, Marge. We did it, baby! Whoo! Whooooo!
Kent Brockman: The inspiring words of a fan who'll always root, root, root for the home team. Even if they lose this ga...
Homer Simpson: They lost? Those losers!
Kent Brockman: No, no, no, the game's not over.
Homer Simpson: Whoo! Not over! Whoo!
Kent Brockman: There you have it: whoo.


"The Simpsons: Grift of the Magi (#11.9)" (1999)
Kent Brockman: [from a TV broadcast] Our top story is the ozone hole that devastated Brazil last summer is apparently wintering in Springfield.
Bart Simpson: Wooh! Springfield rocks!
Kent Brockman: [from a TV broadcast] Residents are advised to stay inside unless you use sunscreen, or are very, very hairy. Experts recommend class nine, or Robin Williams level of hair coverage.


"The Simpsons: Girlie Edition (#9.21)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: Human interest stories - they cloud the issues and fog the mind.


The Simpsons Game (2007) (VG)
Kent Brockman: Good evening Springfield! Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile, Homer Simpson, and his delinquent son, Bart, who've picked a fight with an out of control donut mascot statue!


"The Simpsons: Coming to Homerica (#20.21)" (2009)
Kent Brockman: So. you're guaranteeing it's safe to eat Ogdenville barley once more?
Ogdenville farmer: Well, where there's barley, there's rats, you know? Now, when will you be starting the interview?
Kent Brockman: That just went out live.
Ogdenville farmer: Well, then we're screwed.


"The Simpsons: Monty Can't Buy Me Love (#10.21)" (1999)
Kent Brockman: Monster fever has gripped Springfield by the throat. And it's all thanks to one man. Montgomery Burns has captured not only a legendary monster, but also our hearts. And by the way girls, he's single!
Selma Bouvier: Single? Well, he passes the Selma test.


"The Simpsons: The Springfield Files (#8.10)" (1997)
Kent Brockman: The alien has appeared in the Springfield Forest for the last two Friday nights. Will it appear again this Friday? The entire Channel 6 News Team will be there, except for Bill, the boom mike operator, who's getting fired tomorrow.
[boom mike hits Kent]
Kent Brockman: Very unprofessional, Bill.


"The Simpsons: My Mother the Carjacker (#15.2)" (2003)
Kent Brockman: Captured 60s radical Mona J. Simpson goes on trial today on decades-old charges of sabotaging the Montgomery Burns germ warfare lab. For those of you too young to remember the 60's, here's our stock montage.
[as promised, scenes of peace rally/Vietnam protest, Nixon, the moon landing, Woodstock etc]
Kent Brockman: What a shrill, pointless decade.


"The Simpsons: Marge vs. the Monorail (#4.12)" (1993)
Kent Brockman: [to the TV camera] Here's country singing sensation Lurleen Lumpkin, fresh from her latest day at the Betty Ford Clinic.
Kent Brockman: [to Lurleen] What you been up to Lurleen?
Lurleen Lumpkin: I spent last night in the ditch.
Kent Brockman: [to the TV camera] How about that, folks?


"The Simpsons: Homer Defined (#3.5)" (1991)
Kent Brockman: Eeny meeny miney mo. Is Homer Simpson a hero? The answer is... no!


"The Simpsons: The Homer They Fall (#8.3)" (1996)
Kent Brockman: This just in; go to hell!


"The Simpsons: The Joy of Sect (#9.13)" (1998)
Kent Brockman: Springfield has been overrun by a strange and almost certainly evil sect, calling themselves The Movementarians. In exchange for your home and all your belongings, the Leader of this way out... and wrong religion, the Leader claims he'll take believeres to the planet, Blisstonia. Excuse my editorial laugh.
[laughs]
Kent Brockman: But...
[pauses]
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I just learned of a new change in management. Welcome, Movementarians. I love you, perfect Leader... and new CEO of KBBL Broadcasting.