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Quotes for
Rod Flanders (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Bart Simpson: I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night. Oh... what's that word...
Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders: Consistency?
Bart Simpson: Thanks losers.

Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.


"The Simpsons: Bart Sells His Soul (#7.4)" (1995)
[after selling his soul, Bart goes to the Qwik-E-Mart, and bumps into the sliding glass door when it fails to open]
Bart: Oof! Stupid automatic door!
[Bart steps back. Rod and Tod walk by, and the door opens for them]
Rod Flanders, Tod Flanders: Thank you, door!
[Bart slips in after them. A few minutes later, he tries to leave, and bumps into the door when it fails to open again]
Bart: [rubbing his nose] This is getting weird...
Apu: [over loudspeaker] Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex. Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex.

Girl with Sore Teeth: Unky Moe?
Moe Szyslak: [tries to hide in his anger] What is it, sweetheart?
Girl with Sore Teeth: My sodey is too cold and my teeth hurt.
Moe Szyslak: Oh, your teeth hurt, huh? Your teeth hurt...
[loses it]
Moe Szyslak: Well, that's too freakin' bad, you hear me! And I'll tell you where you can put your freakin' sodey too!
[the entire restaurant gasps]
Tod Flanders: [gets his ears covered] Ow, my freakin' ears!
[Ned and Maude gasp]
Maude Flanders: Oh, let's go, dear!
Ned Flanders: Well, I expect that type of language at Denny's but not here!


"The Simpsons: My Sister, My Sitter (#8.17)" (1997)
[playing a religious board game]
Lisa Simpson: Where are the dice?
Todd Flanders: Daddy says dice are wicked.
Rod Flanders: We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way.


"The Simpsons: A Star Is Burns (#6.18)" (1995)
[filming a re-creation of the story of Moses, the Flanders are alarmed when the river current sweeps Tod away from them]
Tod Flanders: Help meeeeeeeeeee...!
Ned Flanders: [praying] Flanders to God, Flanders to God! Get off your cloud and save my Tod!
[a bolt of lightning hits a tree, knocking it into the river to stop Tod]
Ned Flanders: Thanks, God!
God: [from heaven] Okily-dokily!


"The Simpsons: Dude, Where's My Ranch? (#14.18)" (2003)
Homer Simpson, David Byrne: [singing] He's your peppy, perky, nightmare neighborino!
Homer Simpson: If you despise polite lefthanders...
Ned Flanders: [singing along] Then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders, or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd.
Rod Flanders: That's us.
Todd Flanders: Hooray!


"The Simpsons: Trash of the Titans (#9.22)" (1998)
Ned Flanders: [tiptoeing over the Simpsons' rubbish pile] Easy, Ned. Don't breathe in.
[some rubbish falls on his head]
Ned Flanders: Ow!
Homer Simpson: Sorry, Ned. I didn't see you down there.
[to Bart]
Homer Simpson: Got him.
Ned Flanders: Uh, listen, Homer, I hate to be a fussy Freddy and all, but Maude's folks are here, and they're a tad touchy about odors.
Homer Simpson: Then you might want to close your windows before the sun hits Diaper Hill.
Rod Flanders: [standing on top of a huge pile of used diapers] Look, Daddy. I'm the king of the mountain!
Ned Flanders: Rod, get off of there!


"The Simpsons: The Last Temptation of Krust (#9.15)" (1998)
Todd Flanders: [after Rod and Todd find Krusty passed out in their backyard] Wow, a clown. Do you think he's evil?
Rod Flanders: [sniffs Krusty] He smells evil.
Todd Flanders: Should we tell Daddy?
Bart: No, let's poke him a little while longer.
Bart: Hey, get away from him, you little freaks!
[Rod and Todd run back into their house screaming]


"The Simpsons: Natural Born Kissers (#9.25)" (1998)
Grampa Simpson: Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa's king.
Rod Flanders: I'm not Bart. I'm Rod Flanders.
Grampa Simpson: There you go with that smart mouth! Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch.
Todd Flanders: Yes sir!


"The Simpsons: Bart Has Two Mommies (#17.14)" (2006)
Rod Flanders: Hurry, let's climb down.
Bart: Okay but don't let our hands touch. It's gay.
Rod Flanders: What's gay mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you use to be afraid
[brief pause]
Bart: , but now you're not.
Rod Flanders: [to his father Ned Flanders below] I'm gay Daddy... I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay.
Marge: [nervously to Ned Flanders] I believe he's saying... he's okay.


"The Simpsons: Bart Star (#9.6)" (1997)
Todd Flanders: We don't have to play football, do we, Daddy?1
Ned Flanders: Ho ho ho, you betcha. Team sports will keep you away from temptations like rock music and girls.
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: Yay!


"The Simpsons: Ned 'N' Edna's Blend (#23.21)" (2012)
Ned Flanders: [Ned dreams of Rod's graduation] Wait a minute. Left-wing teachers? Minimalist classrooms? Abstract art? This isn't a midwestern Bible college. This is an elite Ivy League college!
Rod Flanders: Don't worry, dad. I took a major in religious studies.
Ned Flanders: Phew.
Rod Flanders: Comparative religious studies.
Ned Flanders: Aaaah!


"The Simpsons: 'Tis the Fifteenth Season (#15.7)" (2003)
Rod Flanders: Are you jealous of Brother Homer?
Ned Flanders: Maybe just a little bit.
Rod Flanders: I'm jealous of girls 'cause they get to wear dresses.
Ned Flanders: One problem at a time, boy.