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Quotes for
Troy McClure (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Simpsons: This Little Wiggy (#9.18)" (1998)
Troy McClure: [on a video screen] Welcome to the Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport", and "Where's Nordstrom?". While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated break-ins...
[fades out]
Homer Simpson: What'd he say? What about my car?

Troy McClure: Welcome to the Knowledgeum, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall of Wonders, your car unfortunately will be subject to repeated break-ins and...
[Fades]
Homer: What'd he say? What about my car?


"The Simpsons: Marge in Chains (#4.21)" (1993)
Troy McClure: Tonight I'm going to you about the Juice Loosener.
[Troy grabs an orange and squeezes it against his eye until it bursts. All the juice pours into a glass beneath his face]
Troy McClure: Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange.
[cuts to Homer, using the exact same method to get orange juice]
Homer: You mean there's a better way?


"The Simpsons: Bart's Inner Child (#5.7)" (1993)
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin", and "Get Confident, Stupid.".


"The Simpsons: Bart's Friend Falls in Love (#3.23)" (1992)
Troy McClure: I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's... ''Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What''


"The Simpsons: Duffless (#4.16)" (1993)
Troy McClure: What a terrible waste... Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure! You might remember me from such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot." For the next sixty minutes, we'll be seeing actual film of car crash victims.


"The Simpsons: Bart the Fink (#7.15)" (1996)
Troy McClure: Hello, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn A Stooge."


"The Simpsons: Lisa the Vegetarian (#7.5)" (1995)
[educational film: "The Meat Council Presents... Meat and You: Partners in Freedom. Number 3F03 in the 'Resistance is Useless' series."]
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".


"The Simpsons: Saturdays of Thunder (#3.9)" (1991)
Troy McClure: I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.
Dr Nick: Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody.
Crowd: Hi, Dr. Nick.


"The Simpsons: Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy (#6.10)" (1994)
Announcer: We now return to the 1971 film, "Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out", starring Troy McClure.
Uncle Doobie: [a multicolored VW bug is chased by police] Slim, if we've got the bag with the stolen diamonds, then what happened to the bag with our stash?
Troy McClure: [as Slim] There's more than one way to get high, baby.
[he floors it]
Homer: [Marge, dressed seductively, snuggles with Homey] Please, Marge! How often can I see a movie of this calibre on late-night TV?
Marge: Is there something wrong, Homey?
Homer: No! It's just that I've only seen this movie twice before and I've seen you every night for the last eleven ye - er, what I meant to say is, uh, we'll snuggle tomorrow sweetie. I promise.


"The Simpsons: Lisa the Simpson (#9.17)" (1998)
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other medical films as "Mommy, What's On That Man's Face?" and "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore".


"The Simpsons: A Fish Called Selma (#7.19)" (1996)
Waiter: Cigarette, Mrs. McClure?
Troy McClure: You bet! From now on, she's smoking for two!


"The Simpsons: Bart the Mother (#10.3)" (1998)
Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as "Earwigs, Ew." and "Man Vs Nature... The Road To Victory".