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Quotes for
Sgt. Seymour Skinner (Character)
from "The Simpsons" (1989)

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"The Simpsons: The Principal and the Pauper (#9.2)" (1997)
Superintendant Chalmers: Now let's clear this up. Who exactly are you?
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army.
Principal Skinner: It's true. I was in his platoon. But, they said you were killed on that scouting mission.
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: No, just captured. It's kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret P.O.W. camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since '77 I've been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Boo-Haun.
Marge Simpson: That's not a funny story.
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Well, I guess you had to be there.

Sgt. Seymour Skinner: You know, where I come from, there's no better way to get acquainted by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance together.
[to Bart]
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Why don't you lead us, son?
Bart Simpson: Hey, America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America.
[makes a farting noise, the kids laugh]
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Well, that's very concise. But it's an insult to everything I suffered for. Now take a seat, junior, and listen to someone who gave their youth in service to their country. Mrs. "Crabapple", the pledge, please?
Mrs. Krabappel: You haven't dealt with women for a long time, have you, Sergeant?
Sgt. Seymour Skinner: Are you asking me out?