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Quotes for
Captain Ed Murphy (Character)
from Lethal Weapon (1987)

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Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
Martin Riggs: This stinks!
Capt. Murphy: I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck."

Martin Riggs: [a smoking Riggs and Murtaugh have been assigned to guard Leo] This stinks!
Capt. Murphy: I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck."
Martin Riggs: [They go to leave]
Capt. Murphy: And Riggs.
Capt. Murphy: What?
Martin Riggs: [Murphy throws Riggs a desktop no smoking sign]
Capt. Murphy: You know what that says?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, the same thing as that.
[Points to a no smoking sign on the door]
Martin Riggs: But I don't give a fuck!
Capt. Murphy: [Riggs leaves. Murphy and Murtaugh look at each other]
Roger Murtaugh: You're lucky. I have to live with that.

Capt. Murphy: Murtaugh, all that damage you caused downtown is comin' out of the department's budget!
Roger: Fine. Pay it off in Krugerrands.
Capt. Murphy: Don't make jokes, Murtaugh, make arrests!


Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)
Captain Ed Murphy: Wait a minute! Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case.
Ernie - Detective: From what I've seen of their records, the only thing they do contribute is mayhem and chaos.
Martin Riggs: No, I'm Chaos, and he's Mayhem. We're a double act. What are we, required reading, or something?
Lorna Cole: As a matter of fact, you are. It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.

Ernie - Detective: Hey, Murph, people usually cross the street when they see me coming.
Captain Ed Murphy: Yeah, well, I didn't have time.


Lethal Weapon 4 (1998)
[Handing R&M their captain's badges]
Capt. Ed Murphy: This is one of the most painful fuckin' experiences of my life.

Capt. Ed Murphy: We're dinosaurs headed for extinction.
Martin Riggs: Speak for yourself...
Capt. Ed Murphy: Gotta make way for the NEW-IMPROVED police department; guys with guns and psychology degrees, like Butters, out there.
Martin Riggs: Biter has a psychology degree?
Roger Murtaugh: More like a PSYCHO degree.
Capt. Ed Murphy: Ah, hell, I got nothin' against it; times have gotta change. Hey, I almost got shot by a hot-rodder with a zip gun; that's how far back *I* go.