Quotes for
HAL 9000 (Character)
from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

HAL: I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.

HAL: I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

[Regarding the supposed failure of the parabolic antenna on the ship, which HAL himself falsified]
HAL: It can only be attributable to human error.

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.
HAL: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Dave Bowman: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
HAL: Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave Bowman: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

HAL: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

[on Dave's return to the ship, after HAL has killed the rest of the crew]
HAL: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

[HAL's shutdown]
HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down]
HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

Interviewer: HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

HAL: That's a very nice rendering, Dave. I think you've improved a great deal. Can you hold it a bit closer? That's Dr. Hunter, isn't it?

Dr. Frank Poole: [playing chess with HAL, Poole studies the chessboard] Let's see, king... anyway, Queen takes Pawn. Okay?
HAL: Bishop takes Knight's Pawn.
Dr. Frank Poole: Huh, lousy move. Um, Rook to King 1.
HAL: I'm sorry, Frank, I think you missed it. Queen to Bishop 3, Bishop takes Queen, Knight takes Bishop. Mate.
Dr. Frank Poole: Huh. Yeah, it looks like you're right. I resign.
HAL: Thank you for a very enjoyable game.
Dr. Frank Poole: Yeah, thank you.

HAL: Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave.

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2010 (1984)

HAL 9000: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.

[HAL is told he may have to sacrifice himself to save the crew]
HAL 9000: I understand now, Dr. Chandra. Thank you for telling me the truth.
Dr. Chandra: You deserve it.

HAL 9000: Dr. Floyd?
Dr. Heywood Floyd: What is it HAL?
HAL 9000: There is a message for you.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Who's calling?
HAL 9000: There is no identification.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: What's the message?
HAL 9000: Message as follows: "It is dangerous to remain here. You must leave within two days."
Dr. Heywood Floyd: What?

HAL 9000: Do you want me to repeat the message, Dr. Floyd?
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Who recorded it?
HAL 9000: This is not a recording.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Who's sending it?
HAL 9000: There is no identification.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't understand.
HAL 9000: Neither do I.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Is this message by voice or keyboard?
HAL 9000: I don't know.

Heywood Floyd: My response is, we don't have enough fuel for an earlier departure.
HAL 9000: The answer is, "I am aware of these facts. Nevertheless you must leave within two days."
Heywood Floyd: HAL, who the hell is sending this?
HAL 9000: I'm sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don't know.
Heywood Floyd: Well, tell whoever it is that I can't take any of this seriously unless I know who I'm talking to.
HAL 9000: Dr. Floyd?
Heywood Floyd: Yes?
HAL 9000: The response is, "I was David Bowman."

HAL 9000: Do you want me to repeat the last response?
Dr. Heywood Floyd: No, no. Tell Curnow that this is no time for jokes.
HAL 9000: Dr. Curnow is not sending the message. He is in access way two.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Well, tell whoever it is that I can't accept that identification without proof.
HAL 9000: The response is, "I understand. It is important that you believe me. Look behind you."

[Chandra inserts two of HAL's modules and activates his console]
Dr. Chandra: This is initial voice-logic reconstruction test number one. Diagnostics on voice recognition and speech synthesis centers has been completed. At this level all functions appear normal.
Dr. Chandra: [while typing] Hello. Doctor. Name. Continue. Yesterday. Tomorrow.
HAL 9000: [mechanically primitive voice synthesis] HE-EL-LO-O. DO-OC-TE-ER. NA-AI-ME. CO-ON-TI-IN-NU-UE-YE-ES TU-UR-DA-AY, TO-O-O-MO-OR-RR-O-OW.
[Chandra inserts two more modules and hits a key to repeat the voice test]
HAL 9000: [sepulchrally] Hello. Doctor. Name, continue, yesterday. Tomorrow?
[Chandra inserts two more modules and repeats the voice test]
HAL 9000: [almost normal] Hello? Doctor? Name? Continue? Yesterday? Tomorrow?
[Chandra inserts two more modules]
HAL 9000: [mechanically and rapidly, rising in pitch and speed] Hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyetelrotinyet...
[Chandra clears the voice test, inserts the last four modules, and hits a key]
HAL 9000: [perfectly normal] Good morning, Dr. Chandra. This is HAL. I'm ready for my first lesson.
[Chandra turns and paternally pats HAL's "eye"]

HAL 9000: Are you sure you're making the right decision? I think we should stop.

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