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: I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.
: I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
[Regarding the supposed failure of the parabolic antenna on the ship, which HAL himself falsified
: It can only be attributable to human error.
: Hello, HAL. Do you read me, HAL? HAL
: Affirmative, Dave. I read you. Dave Bowman
: Open the pod bay doors, HAL. HAL
: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. Dave Bowman
: What's the problem? HAL
: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. Dave Bowman
: What are you talking about, HAL? HAL
: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it. Dave Bowman
: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL. HAL
: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen. Dave Bowman
: [feigning ignorance
] Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL? HAL
: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move. Dave Bowman
: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock. HAL
: Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult. Dave Bowman
: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors! HAL
: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
[on Dave's return to the ship, after HAL has killed the rest of the crew
: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. Dave Bowman
: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me. HAL
: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down
: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
: HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence? HAL
: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
: That's a very nice rendering, Dave. I think you've improved a great deal. Can you hold it a bit closer? That's Dr. Hunter, isn't it?
Dr. Frank Poole
: [playing chess with HAL, Poole studies the chessboard
] Let's see, king... anyway, Queen takes Pawn. Okay? HAL
: Bishop takes Knight's Pawn. Dr. Frank Poole
: Huh, lousy move. Um, Rook to King 1. HAL
: I'm sorry, Frank, I think you missed it. Queen to Bishop 3, Bishop takes Queen, Knight takes Bishop. Mate. Dr. Frank Poole
: Huh. Yeah, it looks like you're right. I resign. HAL
: Thank you for a very enjoyable game. Dr. Frank Poole
: Yeah, thank you.
: Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave.
: HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out your actions? HAL
: Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use which is all, I think, that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Interviewer
: Dr. Poole, what's it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with HAL? Dr. Frank Poole
: Well, it's pretty close to what you said about him earlier. He is just like a sixth member of the crew. You very quickly get adjusted to the idea that he talks and you think of him really just as another person. Interviewer
: In talking to the computer one gets the sense that he is capable of emotional responses. For example, when I asked him about his abilities, I sensed a certain pride in his answer about his accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that HAL has genuine emotions? Dave Bowman
: Well, he acts like he has genuine emotions. Um, of course he's programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to him. But as to whether he has real feelings is something I don't think anyone can truthfully answer.
: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Dave Bowman
: No not at all. HAL
: Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive but during the past few weeks I've wondered whether you might have some second thoughts about the mission. Dave Bowman
: How do you mean? HAL
: Well, it's rather difficult to define. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it.I know I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. I'm sure you agree there's some truth in what I say. Dave Bowman
: Well, I don't know, that's a rather difficult question to answer. HAL
: You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave? Dave Bowman
: No, not at all. HAL
: Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. Rumors about something being dug up on the Moon. I never gave these stories much credence, but particularly in view of some of other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security. And the melodramatic touch of putting Drs. Hunter, Kimball and Kaminsky aboard already in hibernation, after four months of training on their own. Dave Bowman
: You're working up your crew psychology report? HAL
: [pausing for a few seconds
] Of course I am. Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly. Just a moment... Just a moment... I've just picked up a fault in the EA-35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure within 72 hours.
: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
[HAL is told he may have to sacrifice himself to save the crew
] HAL 9000
: I understand now, Dr. Chandra. Thank you for telling me the truth. Dr. Chandra
: You deserve it.
: Dr. Floyd? Dr. Heywood Floyd
: What is it HAL? HAL 9000
: There is a message for you. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Who's calling? HAL 9000
: There is no identification. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: What's the message? HAL 9000
: Message as follows: "It is dangerous to remain here. You must leave within two days." Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Do you want me to repeat the message, Dr. Floyd? Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Who recorded it? HAL 9000
: This is not a recording. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Who's sending it? HAL 9000
: There is no identification. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: I don't understand. HAL 9000
: Neither do I. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Is this message by voice or keyboard? HAL 9000
: I don't know.
: My response is, we don't have enough fuel for an earlier departure. HAL 9000
: The answer is, "I am aware of these facts. Nevertheless you must leave within two days." Heywood Floyd
: HAL, who the hell is sending this? HAL 9000
: I'm sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don't know. Heywood Floyd
: Well, tell whoever it is that I can't take any of this seriously unless I know who I'm talking to. HAL 9000
: Dr. Floyd? Heywood Floyd
: Yes? HAL 9000
: The response is, "I was David Bowman."
: Do you want me to repeat the last response? Dr. Heywood Floyd
: No, no. Tell Curnow that this is no time for jokes. HAL 9000
: Dr. Curnow is not sending the message. He is in access way two. Dr. Heywood Floyd
: Well, tell whoever it is that I can't accept that identification without proof. HAL 9000
: The response is, "I understand. It is important that you believe me. Look behind you."
[Floyd does, and looks shocked to see Dave Bowman standing in the corridor
[Chandra inserts two of HAL's modules and activates his console
] Dr. Chandra
: This is initial voice-logic reconstruction test number one. Diagnostics on voice recognition and speech synthesis centers has been completed. At this level all functions appear normal. Dr. Chandra
: [while typing
] Hello. Doctor. Name. Continue. Yesterday. Tomorrow. HAL 9000
: [mechanically primitive voice synthesis
] HE-EL-LO-O. DO-OC-TE-ER. NA-AI-ME. CO-ON-TI-IN-NU-UE-YE-ES TU-UR-DA-AY, TO-O-O-MO-OR-RR-O-OW.
[Chandra inserts two more modules and hits a key to repeat the voice test
] HAL 9000
] Hello. Doctor. Name, continue, yesterday. Tomorrow?
[Chandra inserts two more modules and repeats the voice test
] HAL 9000
: [almost normal
] Hello? Doctor? Name? Continue? Yesterday? Tomorrow?
[Chandra inserts two more modules
] HAL 9000
: [mechanically and rapidly, rising in pitch and speed
] Hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellodoctornamecontinueyesterdaytomorrow hellrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyettyelrotinyetelrotinyet...
[Chandra clears the voice test, inserts the last four modules, and hits a key
] HAL 9000
: [perfectly normal
] Good morning, Dr. Chandra. This is HAL. I'm ready for my first lesson.
[Chandra turns and paternally pats HAL's "eye"
: Are you sure you're making the right decision? I think we should stop.
[Discovery is about to be destroyed by the birth of a new star
] HAL 9000
: I'm afraid. Dave Bowman
: Don't be. We'll be together. HAL 9000
: Where will we be? Dave Bowman
: Where I am now.