Agent K
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Quotes for
Agent K (Character)
from Men in Black (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Men in Black (1997)
Kay: All right... That's confiscated. All of it. And I want you on the next transport off this rock or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back.
Jay: [shaken] Yeah and... and... and I'm gonna be back to talk about them Rolexes.

Kay: All right, Beatrice, there was no alien. The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
Jay: Wait a minute. You just flash that thing, it erases her memory, and you just make up a new one?
Kay: A standard issue neuralyzer.
Jay: And that weak-ass story's the best you can come up with?
Kay: On a more personal note Beatrice, Edgar ran off with an old girlfriend. You're gonna go stay with your mom a couple nights. You're gonna get over it and decide you're better off.
Jay: Well, yeah, you know, 'cause 'cause he never appreciated you anyway. In fact, you know what - you kicked HIM out! And now that he's gone you're gonna go into town, you go to Bloomingdale's and find some nice dresses, get yourself some shoes, you know, find somewhere, maybe you can get a facial. And, uh, oh - hire a decorator to come in here quick, 'cause... DAMN.

Kay: Set for pulsar level five, subsonic implosion factor two.
Jay: What?
Kay: Just shoot the damn thing on the count of three!

Kay: All right, kid, here's the deal. At any given time there are approximately 1500 aliens on the planet, most of them right here in Manhattan. And most of them are decent enough, they're just trying to make a living.
Jay: Cab drivers?
Kay: Not as many as you'd think.

Kay: Arquillian battle rules, kid: first we get an ultimatum, then a warning shot, then we have a galactic standard week to respond.
Jay: A galactic standard week? How the hell long is that?
Kay: One hour.
Jay: One hour... then what?
[the message translation flashes across the screen: "MIB, DELIVER THE GALAXY OR EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED."]
Jay: Oh, now that's bullshit.
[the message adds, "SORRY." The countdown begins]

Jay: Did you ever flashy-thing me?
Kay: No.
Jay: I ain't playing with you, K. Did you ever flashy-thing me?
Kay: No.

Kay: Put up your arms and all your flippers.

Kay: Meet the Twins, Bweryang and Bob.

Beatrice: You here to make fun of me too?
Kay: No, ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of. May we come in?
Beatrice: Sure.

Kay: Not bad for your second day of work, is it?
Jay: This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter.
Kay: You should've been here for the Zeronian migration in 1968.

Kay: You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephalopoid, Jeebs, you piece of shit...
Jeebs: He looked all right to me.

Kay: [looking skywards] They're beautiful, aren't they?
Jay: What?
Kay: The stars.
Jay: K, you're frightening your partner...
Kay: I haven't been looking for a partner. I've been looking for a replacement.
Jay: K, I can NOT do this by myself, all right?
Dr. Weaver: Hey, guys, can you drop me off home? My apartment isn't in this area...
Kay: I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a hundred memories I don't want.

Kay: See ya around, Jay.
Jay: No, you won't.

Kay: Did he say anything to you?
James Edwards: Yeah, that the world is coming to an end.
Kay: Did he say when?
[Edwards looks at K oddly]

Kay: This caused the 1977 New York blackout. A practical joke by the great attractor. He thought it was funny as hell.

Kay: We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public!
Jay: Man, we ain't got time for this cover-up bullshit! I don't know whether or not you've forgotten, but there's an Arquillian Battle Cruiser that's about to...
Kay: There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!

Kay: [cocks gun] Roaches check in...
Jay: [cocks gun] ... But they don't check out.

Zed: Kay, give the kid a weapon.
[Kay opens a chest filled with intergalactic guns. He picks up a large rifle]
Kay: A Series Four De-atomizer.
Jay: That's what I'm talkin' about.
Kay: [picks up a very tiny gun and gives it to Jay] Noisy Cricket.
Jay: [stares the weapon in disgust] Hey, Kay, nah, nah. Come on, man, you-you get a Series Four De-atomizer and I-I get a little - little midgy cricket?
Kay: [notices Jay is pointing the gun in his direction] WHOA! kid...
[grabs the arm Jay is holding the weapon with and points it away from him]
Jay: Feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing...!

Jay: You know what they say. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Kay: Try it.

Jay: All right, I'm in. 'Cause there's some next level shit going on and I'm OK with that. But before y'all go beaming me up there's one thing you gotta remember: You chose me... so you recognized the skills, so I don't want nobody calling me son or kid or sport or nothing like that, cool?
Kay: Cool, whatever you say, slick, but I need to tell you something about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.

INS Agent Janus: [seeing K take an immigrant into custody] Sir! Sir, you can't do that...!
Kay: Don't "Sir" me young man, you have no idea who you're dealing with!

Kay: I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you?
Jay: Uh, wait, that was on "Final Jeopardy!" last night. Damn, Alex said...
Kay: [opening his cell phone] Zed, we have a bug.

Kay: Keep him on THIS planet!
Jay: Kay, where are you going?
Kay: I'm going to get my gun back.

Jay: What branch of the government do we report to?
Kay: None, they ask too many questions.
Jay: So who pays for all this?
Kay: We hold patents on a few gadgets we confiscated from the visitors. Velcro, microwave ovens, liposuction. This is a fascinating little gadget. It'll replace CDs soon. Guess I'll have to buy the 'White Album' again.
Jay: That's fun.
Kay: It's a universal translator. We're not even supposed to have it. I'll tell you why. Human thought is so primitive it's looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?

[Jay has just helped deliver an alien baby]
Kay: Congratulations, Reg. It's a... squid.

Kay: You're nothing but a smear on the Sports page to me, you slimy, ugly, intestinal parasite! Eat me! Eat me!
[the Bug swallows Kay whole]
Jay: Kay! Kay!

Kay: Did anything about that seem unusual to you?

[after Kay informs Zed that they have a bug]
Jay: And what, we don't like bugs?
Kay: Bugs thrive on carnage, Tiger. They consume, infest, destroy, live off the death and destruction of other species.
Jay: You were stung as a child, weren't you?
Kay: Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan Island in a brand-new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?

Kay: [at newsstand] We'll check the hot sheets.
Jay: *These* are the hot sheets?
Kay: Best investigative reporting on the planet. Read the New York Times if you want, they get lucky sometimes.
Jay: I cannot believe you're looking for tips in the supermarket tabloids.
Kay: [front-age article about farmer's stolen skin] Not looking for. Found.

Kay: So what do you think?
Jay: Whew! Very interesting. She got a whole "queen of the undead" thing going on...
Kay: What about the body?
Jay: Great body...
Kay: The DEAD body.

[from trailer]
Kay: We are the best kept secret in the galaxy. We monitor, licence and police all alien activity on the Earth. We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret, we exist in shadow.
Jay: And we dress in black.

Kay: Searching for a handle on the moment? I can't help you. The only comfort I can offer... is my promise that tomorrow morning you won't remember a thing.
Jay: [about to be neuralyzed] That's not exactly some shit you just forget...

Jay: All we gotta do is go in here and get a cat. It's not that hard. But if you go in there, you're gonna lay your Jack Webb on her, start flashing your brain-ray all in her face. You're gonna wind up giving her leukemia or something. Woman's a doctor, she don't need you flashing away half her med school classes. Five minutes.
Kay: Two minutes.

Jay: I can't believe you lookin' for tips in the supermarket tabloids!
Kay: Not lookin' for. Found.

INS Agent Janus: Who are you, really?
Kay: Really?
[puts on a pair of sunglasses]
Kay: I am just a figment of your imagination.
[flashes neuralyzer]
Kay: Damn, what a gullible breed... I'm serious, fellas, you're lucky to be alive after a blast like that.
INS Agent Janus: What blast?
Kay: Underground gas main, genius! You fellas need to exercise a lot more caution before discharging your firearms, I'll tell you that much right now. Especially you.
[points at Janus]
Kay: Now have yourselves checked out with EMS on the other side of the hill before you leave.

Kay: Oh, the red button there kid, don't ever, ever touch the red button!

Kay: Do you remember the little red button?
Jay: [warily] Yeah...
Kay: Push the little red button.
[Jay pushes it]
Kay: And you may want to put on a seatbelt...
[the car flips upside down, sprouts rocket engines and begins riding along the top of the tunnel. Kay is safe because he has a seatbelt on, but Jay is flipped over]
Jay: Kay! Kayyyyy!

[the Edgar-Bug has just captured the deputy medical examiner Laurel Weaver and is holding her at ray-gunpoint]
Kay: Let her go, shit eater.
Bug: Oh, listen, monkey boy. Compared to you humans, I'm on the top of the evolutionary ladder, so can it, all right?
Kay: You're breaking my heart. Show me your face and I'll cure all your ills.
Bug: You ever pull the wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?

Kay: You remember "Casablanca", right?
Jay: Yeah.
Kay: Same thing, just no Nazis.

Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
Edwards: What's the catch?
Kay: The catch? The catch is you will sever every human contact. Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. Ever. I'll give you to sunrise to think it over.
[starts walking away]
Edwards: [shouting after Kay] Hey! Is it worth it?
Kay: Oh yeah, it's worth it...
[starts walking again, stops and turns back briefly]
Kay: ... if you're strong enough!

Jay: Yo, Kay, check it out, when do I get my own little flashy-thing memory-messer-upper?
Kay: When you grow up.
Jay: Hmm, 'kay.
[scratches his forehead with his middle finger]

Jay: Going to get your gun back, huh?
Kay: I like this gun...

Kay: In the mid-50s the government started an underfunded agency with the simple and laughable purpose of establishing contact with a race not of this planet. Everyone thought the agency was a joke, except the aliens who made contact March 1961, outside New York. There were nine of us that first night. Seven agents, one astronomer,
[MiB photo of himself with an alien]
Kay: and one dumb kid who got lost on the wrong back road.
Jay: Oh, you brought that tall man some flowers.
Kay: This way... They were a group of intergalactic refugees. Wanted Earth for an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet. Did you ever see 'Casablanca?' Same thing, except no Nazis. We agreed and concealed all the evidence of their landing.
Jay: So these are real flying saucers, and the World's Fair was a cover-up for their landing?
Kay: Why else hold it in Queens? More non-humans arrive every year and live among us in secret.
Jay: Look, I'm sorry. Not to change the subject, but when was the last time you had a CAT scan?
Kay: Six months ago. It's company policy.
Jay: Make another appointment.

Kay: Z, get a containment unit to come down to the city morgue...
Zed: Containment will be of little point, old friend. Most of the aliens and ships are gone already. It's like the party's over and the last one to leave gets the cheque...
[sees the worms are leaving]
Zed: You miserable little ingrates!

[explaining the neuralyzer to J]
Kay: Months, days, hours. Always face it forward.

[K drives a jet-propelled car, while J hangs on screaming]
Kay: You know, you're much too tense. You're a young man. You need to relax, learn to take some joy in your work. Do you like music?
[plays Elvis Presley's "The Promised Land" on the radio]
Kay: That's better.
[mouths along with Elvis, and drives onto the roof of a tunnel]
Jay: Aw shit! Aw damn! K! K!
[K avoids a traffic light and brings the car back to ground level]
Jay: You do know Elvis is dead, right?
Kay: No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home.

[first words]
Kay: We'll take it from here.

Kay: You're under arrest for violating sections 4153 of the Tyco Treaty.
Jay: So hand over whatever galaxy you might be carrying and step away from your busted ass vehicle, and put your hands on your head!

Jay: [Kay is blaring "Promised Land" by Elvis Presley on the car's stereo] You do know Elvis is dead, right?
Kay: No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home.

Frank the Pug: The galaxy is here!
Kay: What do you mean "here?"
Jay: Galaxy's millions of stars and planets. How's it here?
Frank the Pug: You humans! When will you learn size doesn't matter? Just because something's important, doesn't mean it's not very small.

Jay: Well, you know what they say: it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Kay: ...Try it.


Men in Black 3 (2012)
[from trailer]
Agent J: Who are we?
Agent K: We are no-one. Our mission is to monitor extraterrestrial activity on Earth.

Agent K: I promised the secrets of the universe, nothing more.
Agent J: [on phone] Well, what other secrets are there?

[from trailer]
Agent K: There are things out there you don't need to know about.
Agent J: That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me!

Agent K: [holds up alien] Who's this Splky Bulba for?
Mr. Wu: Nobody...
[K hits him]

Agent K: Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

[Z's eulogy]
Agent K: I worked for Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time he never invited me to dinner. Heve never asked to me to his house to watch a game. He never shared a single detail of his personal life. Thank you.
Agent O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
Agent J: That was your eulogy?
Agent K: He was a good man.
Agent O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms, when I told the Felucian Zyglot about Zed's passing, she said something that I'm going to repeat. And I'm paraphrasing. Ahem.
[starts screeching in an alien tongue]
Agent O: That's just so Zed.

Mr. Wu: That is an Earth fish. Very traditional in China. You arrest me, that's a hate crime!
Agent K: It would be if you were Chinese!

[last lines]
Griffin: This is my NEW favourite moment in human history... unless this is the one where K forgets to leave a tip...
[sees a meteor about to hit the Earth in the distant future]
Agent K: Almost forgot...
[leaves a tip - a satellite appears and collides with the meteor, rendering the Earth safe]
Griffin: That was a close one!

Agent K: Boris the Animal: I blew off his arm and had him imprisoned at Lunamax. Biggest mistake I ever made.
Agent J: Sorry, man. Was he innocent?
Agent K: I should have killed him!

Agent K: You are suspended for two weeks.
Agent J: Bullshit.
Agent K: Four weeks.

Agent J: My daddy gave me this watch, it was the only thing he ever did as I never saw him while growing up...
Agent K: Don't you disrespect your daddy!

Agent K: There are things out there you don't need to know about.
Agent J: That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me!
Agent K: I promised the secrets of the universe, nothing more.
Agent J: [on phone] Well, what other secrets are there?
Agent K: Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Boris The Animal: Hello, K.
Agent K: Boris the Animal.
Boris The Animal: [angrily] It's just Boris.
Agent K: You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.
Boris The Animal: Yes, my arm. We've thought about that moment every day for the last 40 years.
Agent K: Well, that's just not living a full life.

Agent K: Do you know the most destructive force in the universe?
Agent J: Sugar?
Agent K: Regret.

Agent J: Can you promise me something, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral? Yeah, something like, uh: "J was a friend. Now there's a big part of me that's gone. Oh, J, all the things I should have said, except I was too old and craggy and surly and just tight. I was too tight. Now, I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin."
Agent K: I'll wing something.

[repeated line]
Agent K: [Cross-checking Agent J while driving] Did you lose something over here hondo?

[a tasered J wakes up in 1969 MIB headquarters]
Agent J: You need to turn the electricity on that damn thing. I can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
Young Agent K: How do you know my name?

[from trailer]
Young Agent K: Okay, future man, where to?
Agent J: First of all, I'm gonna need my gun.
[K gives J a pistol]
Agent J: No no no, space gun!

[from trailer]
Young Agent K: [unfolds space bike] They have these in the future?
Agent J: That's what I'm talking about!

Young Agent K: Who are you, and what do you know?
Agent J: I'm an agent of Men in Black, but I'm from the future. We're partners, twenty-five years from now you're going to recruit me. And 14 years after, the guy you DIDN'T let me kill at Coney Island he escapes from prison, and jumps back in the past and unleashes a full-scale invasion of Earth. We have about 19 hours to catch him and kill him, so really we need to go right now!
Young Agent K: [deadpan] All right.

[from trailer]
Agent J: Hey man, heck, how old are you?
Young Agent K: Twenty-nine.
Agent J: You got some city miles on you...

Agent J: I was on my way to my girlfriend's house.
Young Agent K: What's your girlfriend's name?
Agent J: Shh...
[pauses, thinking]
Agent J: Darren.
Young Agent K: Schdarren?

Boris The Animal: I win! I'm better than me.
Young Agent K: [Blows off Boris's arm]

Colonel: Where's your partner?
Young Agent K: He's fine, he went back home.
Colonel: How's that work?
Young Agent K: You got me!

Boris The Animal: Go ahead, arrest me!
Young Agent K: Not this time.
[blasts Boris]

Young Agent K: You said we don't talk, right? Go ahead, ask me any question. Anything you want, just as long as it doesn't have to do with the case... just let her rip.
Agent J: What's up with you and O?
Young Agent K: Me and O?
Agent J: Yeah, you and O.
Young Agent K: All right, all right... all right, this is it. A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician, Mick Jagger. He was in this British group, Rolling Stones...
Agent J: Rings a bell.
Young Agent K: We believed he's on the planet to breed with Earth women, so I was in London and that's when I met O. She's smart, funny... great smile and we find ourselves in this pub, Whistler's Bar, warm beer and the worst food you ever ate. We just played darts till the sun came up, neither of us wanted to leave...
Agent J: What the hell happened to you, man?
Young Agent K: I don't know, it hasn't happened yet? Come on, what about you slick? In the future you got yourself a girl?
Agent J: I got you!

Young Agent K: [punches J] That's for lying to me!
[punches J again]
Young Agent K: That's for telling me the truth!

Young Agent K: Look, slick, seeing I live past this, can you tell me whether me and O...?
Agent J: A wise man told me once: don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
Young Agent K: I said that, didn't I?

Young Agent K: I can see why I recruited you. You're a good man.
Agent J: What the hell happened to you, man?
Young Agent K: I told you, it hasn't happened yet...

Colonel: [watches Apollo 11 take off] Ain't that a sight.
Young Agent K: You want to see more, there's an job opening for you in our agency.
Colonel: I wish I could...

Young Agent K: [neuralyzes young J] There's only one thing you need to know: your father was a hero.

Young Agent K: We'll take it from here!

Young Agent K: Why don't you come with me to Room 43 for one final enquiry: an eye exam.
Agent J: [at Room 43] That's not an eye exam... that's a big-ass neuralyzer!
Young Agent K: You sure have a lot of information for a fella who doesn't know anything.

Andy Warhol: [about J] Who's that guy? Okay, don't tell me he's your new partner.
Young Agent K: Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future to save the planet...
Andy Warhol: Jesus! Stop, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.

Andy Warhol: So what are you doin' on my turf, K?
Young Agent K: Tracking a killer, a Bogladyte. We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next, Glamourian.
Andy Warhol: Glamourian?
Young Agent K: Mm-hmmm.
Andy Warhol: Right solar system, wrong planet. He's gotta be after the Arcanian.
Young Agent K: No, Arcanians are extinct...
Andy Warhol: Well, apparently they're not. One washed ashore last week. The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it. Alien unicorn, last of its species. His name's Griffin, Griffin The Arcanian.

Agent J: Damn it! We had him!
Young Agent K: Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
Agent J: First of all, my name is J, okay? It's not "son," it's not "slick," and it damn sure ain't "Cochise." And I'm not gonna relax 'cause we're running out of time, we're running out of clues and there's an invasion coming. You're not really recognizing my "voicial" intensity. Oh, but there was one guy that could help. Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin? Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K? He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we, that's no bueno.
Young Agent K: We need pie.
Agent J: What?
Young Agent K: My granddaddy always said: "If you got a problem you can't solve, it helps to get out of your head." Pie. It's good.
Agent J: Pie?
Young Agent K: Yeah.
Agent J: Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
Young Agent K: A little bit.
Agent J: Yeah, you know what? We've been doing smart stuff. We've been following clues, doing real police work. It might be time we do something stupid. Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing. You know what? Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie. Let's go get some dumb-ass pie.
Young Agent K: Sounds good.

Young Agent K: [while pursuing Boris] Hey, slick! In the future, we haven't did the Texas Two-Step?
Agent J: Yes, sir!
[proceeds to distract Boris the Animal]


"Men in Black: The Series: The Alpha Syndrome (#1.4)" (1997)
Alpha: I thought you'd come. Where's the rookie?
Kay: This is between you and me, Alpha.
Alpha: So it is, K... so it is.

Alpha: The cosmic intergrator opened my mind - my body had to follow! If only you knew what was in here...
Kay: I used to think I did... until you left me for dead.
Alpha: Well, stuff happens. But I'm offering you immortality, K. I'll get you another heart. It won't hurt a bit.
Kay: You wouldn't go all the way to Sentillia for that heart, would you?
Alpha: Why should I? Plenty of Sentillians right here on Earth.
Kay: I had the twins do a little research. Did you know that Sentillians can breath a gas that would make a human's lungs dissolve? Bet you did. So, I got to wondering... st how inhuman are you?
[takes out a can of Sentillian atmosphere gas]
Alpha: You wouldn't! It'll destroy us both!
Kay: I'm willing to live with that. The Sentillian of coarse, walks. Come on, Alpha. Let's you and me take the ULTIMATE thrill ride.
[J and L burst in the room]
Alpha: They riding, too?
[pause]
Alpha: I didn't think so.

Alpha: Join me, K! Be like me!
Kay: A circus freak?

Jay: You're ignoring Zed's orders? Who's the hot dog here?
[sees the LTD is gone]
Jay: Our wheels! We've been carjacked!
Kay: Sorry, kid. I can't take you on this one.
Jay: What? Why?
Kay: I've already left. Besides, the underwear wrench can't tighten the laughing lumbago...
[melts, and is revealed to be a Quick-Clone]

Alpha: Oh, bad boy!
[stings the heart and drops it]
Jay: You... killed it!
Kay: That was completely unnecessary, Alpha!


Men in Black II (2002)
Agent J: Your favorite weapon.
[hands Kay the Noisy Cricket]
Agent Kay: That?

Agent Kay: When you get sad, it rains.
Laura: Lots of people get sad when it rains.
Agent Kay: It rains because you're sad, baby.

Agent Kay: [goes to squish a cockroach, but hesitates]
Cockroach: Damn decent of you.
[scuttles away]
Agent Kay: [beat] Don't mention it...


"Men in Black: The Series: The Irritable Bow-Wow Syndrome (#1.3)" (1997)
[at a baseball stadium]
Kay: This is my favourite game...
Jay: Baseball?
Kay: No. Spot the Alien.

Jay: So, tell me about yourself...
Kay: What's to tell? I'm your partner. We police aliens on Earth. End of story.


"Men in Black: The Series: The Black Christmas Syndrome (#2.10)" (1998)
Jay: The elves are aliens? So, what's Santa...?
Kay: Let's just say there are things higher than MiB, slick.


"Men in Black: The Series: The Psychic Link Syndrome (#1.9)" (1997)
[referring to Agent K's connection to the Alcidian that bit him]
Jay: So, you're sayin' you and he are like The Corsican Brothers?
Kay: Except we're not brothers, or Spanish. Otherwise, you're exactly right.


"Men in Black: The Series: The Circus Parade Syndrome (#4.8)" (2001)
[last lines]
Kay: Never cared for you much as a kid either, Luigi...


"Men in Black: The Series: The Cold Sweat Syndrome (#3.2)" (1999)
Alpha: You must have nine lives, K. Let's see if you have any left.
[Alpha-Bioship fires repeatedly on the ice below]
Jay: Good thing the guy's a lousy shot!
Kay: He's not aiming at us. Those plasma orbs will melt the ice cap.
Jay: And?
Kay: Flood half the planet.
Alpha: Always so negative, K. Don't you think Nebraska deserves a beachfront?


"Men in Black: The Series: The J Is for James Syndrome (#3.14)" (2000)
Jay: [suited up] You know what the difference is between you and me?
Kay: You make this look good?
Jay: How'd you know I was gonna say that?