Laurel Weaver
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Quotes for
Laurel Weaver (Character)
from Men in Black (1997)

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Men in Black (1997)
Dr. Weaver: What's with the cat?
Cop in Morgue: Oh, the cat. Yeah, well, there's a problem with the cat. Sign here.
Dr. Weaver: [signing] What's the problem with the cat?
Cop in Morgue: It's your problem.
[leaves chortling at his own joke]
Dr. Weaver: I hate the living.

[the Bug takes Dr. Weaver with him into the flying saucer]
Edgar: You're coming with me.
Dr. Weaver: What?
Edgar: It's a long trip. I'll need a snack.

Kay: [looking skywards] They're beautiful, aren't they?
Jay: What?
Kay: The stars.
Jay: K, you're frightening your partner...
Kay: I haven't been looking for a partner. I've been looking for a replacement.
Jay: K, I can NOT do this by myself, all right?
Dr. Weaver: Hey, guys, can you drop me off home? My apartment isn't in this area...
Kay: I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. That's one of a hundred memories I don't want.

[Dr. Weaver is trying to stall Edgar so she can escape]
Dr. Weaver: You don't want to eat me. I'm a very important person on my planet. Like a queen, a goddess even. There are those who worship me. I'm not saying this to impress you, I'm just warning you it could start a war.
Edgar: War? Good. That means more food for my family. All 78 million of them. That's a lot of mouths to feed, Highness.
Dr. Weaver: You're a wonderful dad, but I'm staying HERE!

[blasting Edgar the Bug]
Dr. Weaver: Interesting job you boys have...

"Men in Black: The Series: The Psychic Link Syndrome (#1.9)" (1997)
[six cops have the Alcidian Forbis at gunpoint on a rooftop in Times Square]
Elle: If they shoot Forbis...
Jay: ...they shoot K!
[Agent K gets between the NYPD and Forbis]
Jay: Stop! Don't fire!
NYPD cop: [via megaphone] Get out of there! This is a restricted... Detective Edwards?
Jay: [haltingly] I've, uh, been workin'... deep cover.
[stunned silence]
Jay: Deep, deep, *deep* cover. This is my collar, and I need him alive.
NYPD cop: [again through megaphone to his men] Hold your fire.
[they lower their guns and Forbis makes a break for the next roof]

"Men in Black: The Series: The Alpha Syndrome (#1.4)" (1997)
Jay: [connected to alien tech] Is this thing safe?
Elle: It's intended for the originator of the memories. It'll either work, or your head will explode.
Elle: You asked.