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: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon. Joel
: I know. Clementine
: What do we do? Joel
: Enjoy it.
[Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach
: I think we should go. Clementine
: No, it's our house! Just for tonight...
[she looks at an envelope on the counter
: ...we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.
: You know me, I'm impulsive. Joel
: That's what I love about you.
: I can't see anything that I don't like about you. Clementine
: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me. Joel
: Okay. Clementine
: Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.
: [after discussing the names for all the different hair colors there must be
] I apply my personality into paste. Joel
: Oh, I doubt that very much. Clementine
: Well, you don't know me so... you don't know, do you? Joel
: Sorry, I was... just trying to be nice. Clementine
: Yeah... I got it...
[She hides behind the seat for a minute
: ... I'm Clementine, by the way. Joel
: I'm Joel. Clementine
: Hi, Joel.
[they shake hands
: No jokes about my name... Nooo, you wouldn't do that. You were trying to be nice. Joel
: I don't know any jokes about your name. Clementine
: Huckleberry Hound. Joel
: I don't know what that means. Clementine
: Huckleberry Hound? What are you, NUTS? Joel
: It's been suggested.
: [in the house on the beach
] I have to go. I have to catch my ride. Clementine
: So go! Joel
: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting. Clementine
: I wish you had stayed. Joel
: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do. Clementine
: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone! Joel
: I walked out, I walked out the door! Clementine
: Why? Joel
: I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know. Clementine
: You were scared? Joel
: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think. Clementine
: Was it something I said? Joel
: Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know? Clementine
: Oh, I'm sorry. Joel
: It's okay.
: Joely? What if you stayed this time? Joel
: I walked out the door. There's no memory left. Clementine
: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him
: Bye Joel. Joel
: I love you. Clementine
: Meet me... in Montauk...
: [Clem arrives home to see Patrick waiting for her
] Patrick, get the fuck awa... Patrick
: -What's wrong? Clementine
: Get the fuck away from me! Patrick
: Do you wanna talk about it? Clementine
: NO! Get the fuck away!
: Baby, whats wrong? Clementine
: I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing! MY SKIN'S COMING OFF! I'M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!
: HEY! Lets go out dancing! You want to go out to Montauk with me? Patrick
: Montauk? Clementine
: Yeah, NO! Come out to Boston with me! Patrick
: Sure, we can go next weekend. Clementine
: NO! Now! Now! I have to go see the frozen Charles NOW!
[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch
: My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it. Joel
: Hi. Clementine
: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all. Joel
: I just needed to see you. Clementine
: Yeah? Joel
: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something. Clementine
: You're married. Joel
: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married. Clementine
: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me. Joel
: Okay. Clementine
: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours. Joel
: I remember that speech really well. Clementine
: I had you pegged, didn't I? Joel
: You had the whole human race pegged. Clementine
: Hmm. Probably. Joel
: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that. Clementine
: Ohhh... I know. Joel
: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round. Clementine
: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.
] Meet me... in Montauk...
: Wait! Clementine
: ...What?... What do you *want* Joel? Joel
: I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.
: Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
: Joel, hide me in your humiliation!
[Clementine is leading Joel out onto the frozen Charles River
: I don't know. What if it breaks? Clementine
: What if? Do you really care right now?
: I'm fucking crawling out of my skin. I should've left you at the flea market.
: Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid. Like... you don't matter.
: I can't remember anything without you. Clementine
: Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.
: I don't see anything I don't like about you. Clementine
: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me. Joel
: Let me show you something... come on... Joel
: I think I heard a crack. Clementine
: It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know. Joel
: Um... oh... I don't... know any. Clementine
: Show me which ones you know! Joel
: Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius. Clementine
: Where? Joel
: Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic. Clementine
: You're full of shit, right? Joel
: Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross. Clementine
: Shut the fuck up!
: I'm gonna marry you... I know it! Joel
: Ummm... okay...
: Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really. Joel
: That's okay, I really didn't think you were.
: I'm so ashamed. Clementine
: It's okay, you're a little kid.
: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me. Joel
: I wish you'd stayed. Joel
: I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.
: I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security. Clementine
: I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.
: Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call. That'd be... nice!
: You married? Joel
: No. Clementine
: Let's move into this neighborhood! Joel
: I do sorta live with someone though. Clementine
: Male or female? Joel
: What? Female... female... Clementine
: At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!
: My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice, right now.
: You're not a stalker, or anything, right? Joel
: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember? Clementine
: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book. Joel
: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
: [Clementine has dyed her hair orange
] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly. Joel
: Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it! Clementine
: You do? Joel
: You look like a tangerine! Clementine
: Hmmm, Clementine the tangerine. Joel
: Juicy... 'n seedless. Clementine
: I like that.
[Joel calls Clem on the telephone
: What took you so long? Joel
: I just walked in. Clementine
: Do you miss me? Joel
: Oddly enough, I do! Clementine
: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married! Joel
: I guess so!
: I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I'd like it.
: I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told!
: What are you, NUTS? Joel
: It's been suggested.
: You're really nice... God, I have to stop saying that!
: I had a really nice time last night. Clementine
: Nice? Joel
: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night! Clementine
: Thaaaat's better!
: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.
: Joely? Joel
: Yeah Tangerine? Clementine
: Am I ugly? Joel
: Uh-uh. Clementine
: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too. Joel
: [kisses Clementine
] You're pretty. Clementine
: Joely, don't ever leave me. Joel
: You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...
: I apply my personality in a paste.
: [on tape recording
] And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit. Joel
: I really like your hair. Clementine
: Thank you.
[Clementine comes in drunk and collapses on the couch. Joel has been sitting up and reading; his voice is angry
: It's 3 o'clock. Clementine
: I kinda sorta wrecked your car. Joel
: You were driving drunk. It's pathetic. Clementine
: I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic. Joel
: Well, it *is* pathetic. And it's fucking irresponsible. You could've killed somebody. I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?
: And in your little brain. You try to figure out, "Did she fuck someone tonight?" Joel
: No, see Clem. I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?
: Ouch. Ow my ass.
: I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken? Joel
: And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.
: I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me.
: I can't see anything I don't like about you. Clementine
: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me. Joel Barish
: Okay. Clementine
: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything... every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me. Joel
: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating. Clementine
: I don't do that. I want to know you.
: I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Joel... Joel
: Mmmhhmmm... Clementine
: That's what intimacy is. I'm really pissed that you said that to me! Joel
: I'm sorry... I just, my life isn't that interesting. Clementine
: I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?