Clementine Kruczynski
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

[Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach]
Joel: I think we should go.
Clementine: No, it's our house! Just for tonight...
[she looks at an envelope on the counter]
Clementine: ...we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.

Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.

[last lines]
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

Clementine: Maybe you can find yourself a nice antique rocking chair to die in.

Clementine: [after discussing the names for all the different hair colors there must be] I apply my personality into paste.
Joel: Oh, I doubt that very much.
Clementine: Well, you don't know me so... you don't know, do you?
Joel: Sorry, I was... just trying to be nice.
Clementine: Yeah... I got it...
[She hides behind the seat for a minute]
Clementine: ... I'm Clementine, by the way.
Joel: I'm Joel.
Clementine: Hi, Joel.
[they shake hands]
Clementine: No jokes about my name... Nooo, you wouldn't do that. You were trying to be nice.
Joel: I don't know any jokes about your name.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound.
Joel: I don't know what that means.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound? What are you, NUTS?
Joel: It's been suggested.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I have to go. I have to catch my ride.
Clementine: So go!
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you.
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...

Clementine: [Clem arrives home to see Patrick waiting for her] Patrick, get the fuck awa...
Patrick: -What's wrong?
Clementine: Get the fuck away from me!
Patrick: Do you wanna talk about it?
Clementine: NO! Get the fuck away!

Patrick: Baby, whats wrong?
Clementine: I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing! MY SKIN'S COMING OFF! I'M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!

Clementine: HEY! Lets go out dancing! You want to go out to Montauk with me?
Patrick: Montauk?
Clementine: Yeah, NO! Come out to Boston with me!
Patrick: Sure, we can go next weekend.
Clementine: NO! Now! Now! I have to go see the frozen Charles NOW!

[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch]
Clementine: My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Joel: Yuck!

Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

Clementine: [whispers] Meet me... in Montauk...

Joel: Wait!
Clementine: ...What?... What do you *want* Joel?
Joel: I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.

Clementine: Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

Clementine: Joel, hide me in your humiliation!

[Clementine is leading Joel out onto the frozen Charles River]
Joel: I don't know. What if it breaks?
Clementine: What if? Do you really care right now?

Clementine: I'm fucking crawling out of my skin. I should've left you at the flea market.

Clementine: Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid. Like... you don't matter.

Joel: I can't remember anything without you.
Clementine: Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.

Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.

Clementine: Let me show you something... come on...
Joel: I think I heard a crack.
Clementine: It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know.
Joel: Um... oh... I don't... know any.
Clementine: Show me which ones you know!
Joel: Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius.
Clementine: Where?
Joel: Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic.
Clementine: You're full of shit, right?
Joel: Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.
Clementine: Shut the fuck up!

Clementine: I'm gonna marry you... I know it!
Joel: Ummm... okay...

Clementine: Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really.
Joel: That's okay, I really didn't think you were.

Joel: I'm so ashamed.
Clementine: It's okay, you're a little kid.

Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.

Clementine: I wish you'd stayed.
Joel: I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.

Joel: I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security.
Clementine: I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

Clementine: Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call. That'd be... nice!

Clementine: You married?
Joel: No.
Clementine: Let's move into this neighborhood!
Joel: I do sorta live with someone though.
Clementine: Male or female?
Joel: What? Female... female...
Clementine: At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!

Clementine: My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice, right now.

Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

Clementine: [Clementine has dyed her hair orange] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly.
Joel: Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it!
Clementine: You do?
Joel: You look like a tangerine!
Clementine: Hmmm, Clementine the tangerine.
Joel: Juicy... 'n seedless.
Clementine: I like that.

[Joel calls Clem on the telephone]
Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Do you miss me?
Joel: Oddly enough, I do!
Clementine: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!
Joel: I guess so!

Clementine: I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I'd like it.

Clementine: I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told!

Clementine: What are you, NUTS?
Joel: It's been suggested.

Clementine: You're really nice... God, I have to stop saying that!

Joel: I had a really nice time last night.
Clementine: Nice?
Joel: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!
Clementine: Thaaaat's better!

Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.

Clementine: Joely?
Joel: Yeah Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Joel: Uh-uh.
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.
Joel: [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.
Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.
Joel: You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...

Clementine: I apply my personality in a paste.

Joel: [on tape recording] And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit.
Joel: I really like your hair.
Clementine: Thank you.

[Clementine comes in drunk and collapses on the couch. Joel has been sitting up and reading; his voice is angry]
Joel: It's 3 o'clock.
Clementine: I kinda sorta wrecked your car.
Joel: You were driving drunk. It's pathetic.
Clementine: I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic.
Joel: Well, it *is* pathetic. And it's fucking irresponsible. You could've killed somebody. I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?

Clementine: And in your little brain. You try to figure out, "Did she fuck someone tonight?"
Joel: No, see Clem. I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

Clementine: Ouch. Ow my ass.

Clementine: I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken?
Joel: And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.

Clementine: I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me.

Joel Barish: I can't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel Barish: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.

Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything... every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.
Joel: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
Clementine: I don't do that. I want to know you.
[angry]
Clementine: I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Joel...
Joel: Mmmhhmmm...
Clementine: That's what intimacy is. I'm really pissed that you said that to me!
Joel: I'm sorry... I just, my life isn't that interesting.
Clementine: I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?