Joel Barish
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Quotes for
Joel Barish (Character)
from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Joel: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

[Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach]
Joel: I think we should go.
Clementine: No, it's our house! Just for tonight...
[she looks at an envelope on the counter]
Clementine: ...we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.

Joel: Is there any risk of brain damage?
Howard: Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.

Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.

[last lines]
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

Clementine: [after discussing the names for all the different hair colors there must be] I apply my personality into paste.
Joel: Oh, I doubt that very much.
Clementine: Well, you don't know me so... you don't know, do you?
Joel: Sorry, I was... just trying to be nice.
Clementine: Yeah... I got it...
[She hides behind the seat for a minute]
Clementine: ... I'm Clementine, by the way.
Joel: I'm Joel.
Clementine: Hi, Joel.
[they shake hands]
Clementine: No jokes about my name... Nooo, you wouldn't do that. You were trying to be nice.
Joel: I don't know any jokes about your name.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound.
Joel: I don't know what that means.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound? What are you, NUTS?
Joel: It's been suggested.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I have to go. I have to catch my ride.
Clementine: So go!
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you.
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...

Joel: Can you hear me? I don't want this any more! I want to call it off!

Joel: Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

[Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch]
Clementine: My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Joel: Yuck!

Joel: [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

Joel: I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Joel: This is working like gangbusters.

[looking at the letter from Lacuna, Inc]
Joel: What is it?
Rob: I don't know, it's a place that does a thing...

[as Joel and Clementine eat out, he thinks about the other glum-looking couples in the restaurant]
Joel: Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants? Are we the dining dead? I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.

Joel: Wait!
Clementine: ...What?... What do you *want* Joel?
Joel: I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.

Joel Barish: Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that. It appears this is my first entry in two years.

[Clementine is leading Joel out onto the frozen Charles River]
Joel: I don't know. What if it breaks?
Clementine: What if? Do you really care right now?

Joel: Look at it out here, it's all falling apart. I'm erasing you and I'm happy!

Joel: By morning, you'll be gone.

Joel: Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one.

Joel: I can't remember anything without you.
Clementine: Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.

Joel: My God, there's people coming out of your butt.

Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.

Clementine: Let me show you something... come on...
Joel: I think I heard a crack.
Clementine: It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know.
Joel: Um... oh... I don't... know any.
Clementine: Show me which ones you know!
Joel: Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius.
Clementine: Where?
Joel: Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic.
Clementine: You're full of shit, right?
Joel: Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.
Clementine: Shut the fuck up!

Clementine: I'm gonna marry you... I know it!
Joel: Ummm... okay...

Clementine: Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really.
Joel: That's okay, I really didn't think you were.

Joel: I'm so ashamed.
Clementine: It's okay, you're a little kid.

Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.

[4-year-old Joel watches his mother leave the room]
4-Year-Old Joel: I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.

[first lines]
Joel: [voice over] random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

Clementine: I wish you'd stayed.
Joel: I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.

Joel: I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security.
Clementine: I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

Clementine: You married?
Joel: No.
Clementine: Let's move into this neighborhood!
Joel: I do sorta live with someone though.
Clementine: Male or female?
Joel: What? Female... female...
Clementine: At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!

[Patrick knocks on Joel's car window while parked in front of Clem's apartment]
Joel: Yes?
Patrick: Can I help you?
Joel: What do you mean?
Patrick: Can I help you with something?
Joel: No.
Patrick: What are you doing here?
Joel: I'm not really sure what you're asking.
Patrick: Oh, thanks...

Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

Clementine: [Clementine has dyed her hair orange] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly.
Joel: Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it!
Clementine: You do?
Joel: You look like a tangerine!
Clementine: Hmmm, Clementine the tangerine.
Joel: Juicy... 'n seedless.
Clementine: I like that.

[Joel calls Clem on the telephone]
Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Do you miss me?
Joel: Oddly enough, I do!
Clementine: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!
Joel: I guess so!

Carrie: I saw you talking to someone pretty!
Rob: Yeah, man, who was that?
Joel: She was... just a girl.

Clementine: What are you, NUTS?
Joel: It's been suggested.

Joel: I think your name is magical.

Joel: I had a really nice time last night.
Clementine: Nice?
Joel: I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!
Clementine: Thaaaat's better!

Clementine: Joely?
Joel: Yeah Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Joel: Uh-uh.
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.
Joel: [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.
Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.
Joel: You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...

Joel: If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.

Joel: [on tape recording] And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit.
Joel: I really like your hair.
Clementine: Thank you.

Joel: [talking to Clementine in the train] Sorry, I'm just... trying to be nice.

Joel: He's seducing my girlfriend with MY words and MY things! He stole her underwear! Jesus Christ, he stole her underwear.

[Clementine comes in drunk and collapses on the couch. Joel has been sitting up and reading; his voice is angry]
Joel: It's 3 o'clock.
Clementine: I kinda sorta wrecked your car.
Joel: You were driving drunk. It's pathetic.
Clementine: I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic.
Joel: Well, it *is* pathetic. And it's fucking irresponsible. You could've killed somebody. I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?

Clementine: And in your wormy little brain. You try to figure out, "Did she fuck someone tonight?"
Joel: No, see Clem. I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

Clementine: I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken?
Joel: And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.

Joel: Why would she do that to me?
Rob: Hey does anybody want a joint?

Joel: It's goddamn freezing on this beach. Montauk in February, brilliant, Joel.

Joel: What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.

Joel Barish: I can't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel Barish: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.

Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything... every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.
Joel: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
Clementine: I don't do that. I want to know you.
[angry]
Clementine: I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Joel...
Joel: Mmmhhmmm...
Clementine: That's what intimacy is. I'm really pissed that you said that to me!
Joel: I'm sorry... I just, my life isn't that interesting.
Clementine: I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?

Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.