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Quotes for
Ygor (Character)
from Son of Frankenstein (1939)

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Young Frankenstein (1974)
Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"

[Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What a filthy job.
Igor: Could be worse.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How?
Igor: Could be raining.
[it starts to pour]

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

Inga: Werewolf!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?
Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?
Igor: I thought you wanted to.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.
Igor: [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What is this place?
Igor: Music room?
[plucks violin string]

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you ready?
Igor: Are you sure this is how they did it?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!
Igor: What's the hurry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
[no answer, shouts]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand?
Igor: [suddenly appears next to Fredrick] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting?

Igor: What is this?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte.
The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.
Igor: Who are you talking to?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.
Igor: I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But you did. I just heard it.
Igor: It wasn't me.
Inga: It wasn't me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, now look here. If it wasn't you, and it wasn't you...
[he asks himself]
The Monster: [off-camera] Mmmmmm!

Igor: Sed-a...
Inga: Sed-a...
Igor: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Have all the preperations been made for the transference?
Inga: Yes, doctor.
Igor: Are you sure you want to go through with this?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It's the only thing that can save him now.
Igor: You realize you're risking both your lives?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [plays a sour note] Yes.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Damn your eyes.
Igor: [to camera] Too late.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [Reading from his grandfathers' notebook] "As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hinderance to my speed, I resolved therefore to make a being of a gigantic stature."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Of course. That would simplify everything.
Inga: In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

[in Victor Frankenstein's laboratory]
Igor: [sings] I ain't got no body, and nobody cares for me. Yakka tak ta a yakka tak ta ha!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor.
Igor: Froedrick.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How did you get here?
Igor: Through the dumbwaiter.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.
Igor: What hump?

Igor: Wait Master, it might be dangerous... you go first.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.
Inga: Yes, Doctor.
Igor: Nice working with ya.
[Dr. Frederick Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy!

[after failing to bring the creature to life]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nothing.
Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace.
[starts beating up the creature]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Son of a bitch! Bastard! I'll get you for this! What did you do to me? What did you do to me.
Inga: Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I don't want to live. I do not want to live.
Igor: Quiet dignity and grace
[rolls eyes]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh... mama...

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Eyegor.
Igor: Froadrick.

Igor: I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just... followed it down. Call it... a hunch. Ba-dum chi.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well it seems as if our mysterious violinist has disa...
[sees something]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: puh.
Inga: Disa what?
Igor: -ppeared.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Shh.

[Frederick, Inga and Igor find an abandoned violin]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well this explains the music.
Igor: It's still warm.

Igor: Where are you going?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To wash up. I've got to look normal.
[his bowtie pops open]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: We've all of us got to behave normally.

Igor: It's gonna be a long night. If you need any help with the girls, I'll be...

Frau Blücher: It's not rotten! It's a good brain!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: IT'S ROTTEN, I TELL YOU! ROTTEN!
The Monster: [lunging at Dr. Frankenstein] RRAAAAAAAA!
Igor: Ixnay on the ottenray.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.
Igor: [Imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the toiben.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I was talking about the luggage.

Igor: Two nasty lookin' switches over there, but I'm not going to be the first.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor: [pause, then] No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor: Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Throw... the third switch!
Igor: [shocked] Not the *third switch*!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: With such a specimen for a body, all we need now is an equally magnificant brain. You know what to do?
Igor: I have a pretty good idea.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pointing to Igor's hump] Good man. Didn't you, didn't you use to have that on the other side?
Igor: What?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Your, uh, oh nevermind.

Igor: [Peek back out from the castle's door] Blucher!
[Horses Whining]

Igor (2008)
Igor: [looks at his beginning invention] I know, right? And she's not even done, yet!

Igor: As somebody I loved once said: It's better to be a good nobody, than an evil somebody.

Igor: He tricked us into believing that we need to be evil to survive. But we don't! None of us do.

Igor: Only one thing left to do...
Brain: Ha-ha, he said "do."
Igor: [shouts] Pull the switch!
[Igor's "switch!" echoes several times. Nothing happens. He looks over at Scamper, standing by the switch]
Scamper: Do *not* yell at me.
Igor: Oh, I-I'm sorry. I just... pull the switch?
[No response]
Igor: Please pull the switch.
Scamper: That's better.

[first lines]
Igor: [voice over] Nice weather we're having, huh? Here in the Kingdom of Malaria, every day's forecast is rainy, with a 100% chance of horror! It wasn't always like this, though. Years ago, Malaria was a sunny land of farmers, until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in, and never left. They killed our crops, and our people became poor. And that's when King Malpert thought up a new way for us to make money: Evil Inventions! The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again way worse! We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them. Oh, it's a great gig, especially if you're an evil scientist. Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills. They get it all! They're the top of the heap!
Dr. Holzwurm: Igor, pull the switch!
Dr. Holzwurm's Igor: Yes, Master.
Igor: [voice over] And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor schlobs like me, born with a hunch on our back - Igors.

Igor: I always wanted to be an evil scientist. Unfortunately the hunch on my back was a one-way ticket to Igor School. I majored in Talking With A Slur and graduated with a Yes Masters Degree.

Igor: [voice over] But eventually I landed a job for Dr. Glickenstein.
Dr. Glickenstein: Pull the switch!
Igor: [voice over] Not the smartest scientist. His last invention was an Evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.

Igor: [voice over] That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions.
[Scamper drops a giant weight on himself, flattening himself]
Igor: [voice over] I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live.
Scamper: [fills out again] Will *nothing* end this vicious cycle?
Igor: [voice over] I also made him talk, which is a hassle for me, since he never shuts up.

Igor: [voice over] That's Brain, one of my other inventions. Legend has it when the smartest man in the world died, they put his brain in a jar... this is not that brain.

Igor: Hi, I'm here about the "Igor Wanted" ad. My name's Igor. Well, of course it is. I have a hunch, what's my name gonna be? Kevin?

[following Eva's trail to an orphanage, they hear screams from inside]
Igor: Oh, God, she's killing blind orphans! That's so... evil! I mean, which is great! But... *blind orphans*?

Brain: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Why does *he* get to pull the switch?
Scamper: Because I'm not an idiot, *Brian*.
Brain: My name is not Brian!
Scamper: Then you must have his jar.
Igor: Stop! You can both pull the switch. On the count of three. One...
[Scamper pulls the switch]
Brain: Hey, no fair!

Dr. Glickenstein: Now to take the old cow for a test drive!
Igor: No, Master! The rocket is going to...!
[the rocket explodes, scattering pieces of Glickenstein everywhere]
Igor: Uh, yeah, that.
Scamper: Finally! Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer, that thing is hideous.
[off their looks]
Scamper: We were all thinking it, I just said it.

King Malbert: [after the sun comes out, and Eva stored to her good-natured self] WAIT, WHAT'S HAPPENING!
Igor: The end of Malaria's evil role in the world.
Carl Cristall: Camera 2.
[camera focuses on Igor]
Igor: Oh, uhh, oh, excellent, uh, thank you uhh... For generations King Malbert has kept us, in the dark. By creating the clouds, with a weather ray. HE LIED TO US! WE TRUSTED HIM, AND HE LIED TO US! He tricked us into thinking we needed to be evil, TO SURVIVE! BUT WE DON'T, none us do.
[audience boo at King Malbert]

Son of Frankenstein (1939)
Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: I should turn you over to Inspector Krogh!
Ygor: No! Krogh no want dead man, Ygor is dead!
Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: What are you talking about?
Ygor: They hanged me once, Frankenstein... they broke my neck.
Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: Hanged you... well, why did they hang you?
Ygor: Because I stole bodies... they said...

Ygor: [after faking a coughing fit and pointing to his broken neck] I'm sorry. I cough. You see, bone get stuck in throat!

Ygor: [laughing] I died living they all died dead.

Ygor: They hanged me once Frankenstein. They broke my neck. They said I was dead. Then they cut me down. They threw me in here, long ago. They wouldn't bury me in holy place like churchyard. Because I stole bodies, eh they said. So, Ygor is dead! So, Dr. Frankenstein. Nobody can mend Ygor's neck. It's alright.

Ygor: This is place of the dead. We're all dead here.

Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: How long has he been here?
Ygor: All night.
Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: You liar! He was in the village. You made him kill Herr Neumüller.
Ygor: Yes! Why not? Neumüller kills me. Eight men say Ygor hang. Now eight men dead. All dead!

Van Helsing (2004)
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor... Do unto others...
Igor: Before they do it unto me!

[Dracula sees Igor poking the werewolf with a cattle prod]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor!
Igor: Yes, Master?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Why do you torment that thing so?
Igor: It's what I do.

Igor: Please, don't kill me!
Van Helsing: Why not?
Igor: Well, um... I... um... uh...

Van Helsing: You're going to take them and lead them to the antidote.
Igor: No, I'm not!
[Van Helsing grabs Igor with his werewolf strength and throws him violently against the wall]
Igor: Yes, I am.

Igor: I am sorry, Master. We try and we try, but I fear we are not so smart as Doctor Frankenstein.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Truly. It would appear that the good Doctor took the key to life to his grave.
[the Werewolf climbs up onto the parapet. Dracula waves him away, dismissive]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Hunt them down. Kill them both.

Igor: [Igor gloats in his knowledge about the monster to Anna and Van Helsing, as an homage to Lugosi's original appearance as Igor] You think you fool Igor, but Igor fool you!

The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)
[the monster is struck by lightning]
Ygor: The lightning. It is good for you! Your father was Frankenstein, but your mother was the lightning!

Ygor: You have agreed? You're going to help him Doctor? You are giving him life?
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Yes but not for the purposes that you think Ygor. I'm giving him strength so that an operation may be successful.
Ygor: An operation?
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Yes. I'm giving him another brain. You must explain to him when he becomes conscious. *You* must make him understand.
Ygor: Whose brain?
Doctor Bohmer: Kettering?
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Yes, Kettering. A man of character and learning. The monster will cease to be an evil influence and become everything that is good.
Ygor: No. No, no. You cannot take my friend away from me. He's all that I have. Nothing else. You're going to make him your friend and I'll be alone
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: It will be as I say or he must be destroyed
Ygor: [laughs] He cannot be destroyed
Doctor Bohmer: There is one way. By dissection.
Ygor: No not that. Doctor, Ygor's body is no good. His neck is broken, crippled, and distorted. Lame and sick from the bullets your brother fired into me. You can put my brain in his body.
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Your brain?
Ygor: You can make us one. We'll be together always. My brain and his body. Together
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: You're a cunning fellow Ygor. Do you think I would put your sly and sinister brain into the body of a giant? That would be a monster indeed. You will do as I tell you or I will not be responsible for the consequences

Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Does he understand?
Ygor: Oh yes.
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Is he willing
Ygor: Can't you see? He is the first time happy in his life

Ygor: Better death... than a life like this.

Ygor: How does it feel to face a man you thought your brother killed, doctor?
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: What do you want?
Ygor: The monster is with me. He's the one in the police station, but he won't be there for long. You will bring him here.
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: The law must take its course.
Ygor: Law! What can the law do to him?

Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Ever since the day my father put life into that creature, it has been a curse. The terrible consequences of his creation killed my father, drove my brother into exile. The monster shall not ruin my life. I'm happy here. I have a lovely daughter, friends. They know nothing of all this.
Ygor: You wouldn't like to spoil that, doctor. Would you? You wouldn't want me to tell them that you're the son of the Frankenstein that created him, that your brother made the thing live after it had been dead for years. Do you want me to tell them, Frankenstein?
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: No! No.
Ygor: All right. Then you'll make the police to hand him over to you.
Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein: Yes. I could do that.
Ygor: And you will do it, Frankenstein.

Victor Frankenstein (2015)
Igor: It's alive.
Victor Von Frankenstein: Isn't that rather obvious?

[first lines]
Igor: You know this story. The crack if lightning. A mad genius. An unholy creation. The world, of course, remembers the monster, not the man. But sometimes, when you look closely, there's more to a tale. Sometimes the monster is the man.
Igor: I've been with the circus for as long as I can remember. Circuses like to think of themselves as families. But, of course, each one has its clown.

Igor: It's hard to judge cruelty when you've never known kindness.

Van Helsing (2004) (VG)
Igor: Thought you'd seen the last of me did you?
Van Helsing: On the contrary I've been rather looking forward to this.
Igor: You are too kind my friend. Everyone wishes they'd seen the last of me. Take the Valerious for example. Like you, they show me far too little respect.
Van Helsing: Oh come, it's not that I don't respect you Igor. I just don't like you.