Dr. Jack Seward
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Quotes for
Dr. Jack Seward (Character)
from Dracula (1931)

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Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)
Van Helsing: [examining Lucy's throat with a magnifying lens] Three tiny puncture Marks on her Throat...
Dr. Steward: Three?
Van Helsing: [breathes on and polishes the lens] Two. Two tiny Puncture marks on her throat.

Dr. Steward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynaecology.
Dr. Steward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.

[still at the breakfast scene. A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. Renfield, intentionally, throws his fork]
Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork!
[Renfield gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]
Dr. Steward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there?
Renfield: Fork found!
[comes back up]
Renfield: Sorry for the delay.
[the grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wiggling about. Renfield looks at Dr. Seward, confused]
Dr. Steward: My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!
Renfield: What makes you say that?
Dr. Steward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!
Renfield: Out of my mouth?
Dr. Steward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wiggling about!
Renfield: Don't be ridiculous! Wiggling!
Dr. Steward: I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wiggling all over the place! Poor thing is fighting for its life!
[Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, and quickly scoops it up]
Renfield: I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!
Dr. Steward: Me, ranting? You're the ranter!
[Renfield spots a fly]
Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling!
[grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly]
Renfield: Don't be afraid!
[laughs in a strange tone]
Renfield: I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!
[Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table]

[Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it]
Dr. Steward: I was just telling Ma... what was that?
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Steward: You just grabbed something from the table.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Steward: Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.
Renfield: [thinks of an alibi] Oh, that was a raspberry.
Dr. Steward: Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.
Renfield: Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.
[the two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up]
Dr. Steward: How silly of me! It must have been my imagina... there, you did it again!
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Steward: You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Steward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Steward: Yes, you did.
[this goes on for two and a half rounds]
Dr. Steward: [shouts] I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right of the air and eat it!
Renfield: A spider?
[swallows the spider in his mouth]
Renfield: How absurd!

Dr. Steward: Would an enema help?

Van Helsing: Count Dracula. Hmm, curious. Are you descended from Vlad Tepes? The first Dracula?
Dr. Steward: Tepes?
Van Helsing: Ya. It means 'The Impaler.' He was a blood-thirsty butchah. He inflicted unspeakable tortures on the peasants: cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes and then impaling them on iron spikes!
Dracula: They had it coming.

Jonathan Harker: Are you saying that Count Dracula is our vampire?
Van Helsing: Yes!... and no...
Jonathan Harker: Then what are you saying?
Van Helsing: I'm saying no. But I'm leeeeaning towards yes.
Dr. Steward: Then you're saying yes.
Van Helsing: No.
Dr. Steward: Then you're saying no.
Van Helsing: Not necessarily.
Jonathan Harker: You sound dubious.
Van Helsing: No -I'm positive!
Jonathan Harker: Of what?
Van Helsing: Of my theory!
Jonathan Harker: And that would be?
Van Helsing: The theory of Yes- or no.

[after Van Helsing and Johnanthan have returned from driving a stake through Lucy's heart]
Dr. Steward: I don't understand it! he's covered in blood and there's not a drop on you!
Van Helsing: I have been to many stakings- you have to know where to stand! You know, everything in life is location, location, location...

Van Helsing: Where did her blood go? There's nothing on the pillow case, or her nightgown.
[to Dr. Steward]
Van Helsing: Can you explain zhat?
[looks at Jonathan]
Van Helsing: Can you explain zhat?
Dr. Steward: No, I can't explain zhat.
Jonathan Harker: I can't explain zhat, either.
Van Helsing: No one can explain zhat!

Dr. Steward: [to Martin, about Renfield] Put him in a straitjacket and give him an enema! Wait, give him an enema FIRST, then put him in a straitjacket!


Count Dracula (1977) (TV)
Abraham Van Helsing: First, I must ask you, are you willing to believe what John Seward and myself have told you?
Quincey P. Holmwood: I'm sorry, Professor. I reckon I find it impossible.
Abraham Van Helsing: The wounds on the throat of that child; do they suggest nothing to you, concerning the death of Miss Lucy?
Quincey P. Holmwood: Are you saying that those small holes, in the child's throat, were made in the same way as Lucy's?
Abraham Van Helsing: Alas, no, I am not.
Quincey P. Holmwood: Well, what in Pete's name are you saying?
Abraham Van Helsing: They were made *by* Miss Lucy!
Quincey P. Holmwood: You're insane!
Abraham Van Helsing: She has already joined the ranks of the undead.
Quincey P. Holmwood: The... undead?
Abraham Van Helsing: The nosferatu. The walking dead. Those who cannot die. Who are cursed with immortality. Who must go on, age after age, adding new victims, multiplying the evils of the world!
Dr. John Seward: You see, Quincey, she became the prey of a vampire.
Abraham Van Helsing: She is now a vampire herself.
[gently, to Quincey]
Abraham Van Helsing: And now, I must tell you the terrible thing I propose to do.

[Seward is watching from his office window as deliverymen next door move dozens of long, casket-like boxes into Carfax]
Dr. John Seward: Bowles?
Bowles: Sir?
[joins Seward at the window]
Dr. John Seward: Any idea what the devil's going on over there?
Bowles: What, at Carfax sir?
Dr. John Seward: Yes. They've been at that all afternoon.
Bowles: They look ruddy heavy, them boxes.
Dr. John Seward: What the devil's in them? I mean, I could understand if they were moving in furniture. But these things...?
Bowles: Didn't a foreign gentleman buy that old place sir? The one that young Mister Jonathan went abroad to see?
Dr. John Seward: Yes.
Bowles: I'll tell you who's fascinated by the whole thing, sir.
Dr. John Seward: Oh... who?
Bowles: Renfield.

Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: I know you must fight. But it must not be a fight of hate. That poor soul whose brought about all this misery is the saddest one of all.
Jonathan Harker: Mina, how can you say such things? If I could send his soul to burning hell forever, I would do it.
Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: Hush, Jonathan. You must be pitiful to him, just as some day you may have to be pitiful to me.
Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: [pausing] Also, I believe the Count can, somehow, force me to tell him what I know, and be in league against you.
Jonathan Harker: I don't believe it.
Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: No?
[tearfully, her small fangs showing]
Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: Do you think that I don't look at myself in the mirror?
Jonathan Harker: Dearest, don't.
Abraham Van Helsing: Yes, yes, we must face facts, however unpleasant.
[to Dr. Seward]
Abraham Van Helsing: Tell me, how many boxes did you find at Burnhamtree?
Dr. John Seward: Eight.
Abraham Van Helsing: And at the Mile End?
Dr. John Seward: Four.
Abraham Van Helsing: And sanctified them all?
Dr. John Seward: Yes.
Abraham Van Helsing: One box left. Madam Mina, you are the wisest of us all. So tell us, where do you think the last box is?
Wilhelmina 'Mina' Westenra: There's only one place he'd feel *really* safe.

Abraham Van Helsing: Yes, I agree using garlic seems like nonsense, but I sense something evil and I must try everything to combat it. Evil will not disappear simply because we disapprove.
Dr. John Seward: But what is evil?
Abraham Van Helsing: I believe there is a monster in our midst. Who it is, or where it comes from, or what form it takes, I know not. But of one thing I am certain: we must find out. Even then, heaven knows if we are in time to stop it.

Dr. John Seward: [watches as Van Helsing is preparing to open Lucy's coffin] What are you doing?
Abraham Van Helsing: As you see.
Dr. John Seward: And then?
Abraham Van Helsing: Cut off her head
Dr. John Seward: [aghast] What? Mutilate her body? Why...? Why, it's... It's monstrous.
Abraham Van Helsing: Friend John, I know you loved her. But there are certain things of which you have little knowledge. I do nothing without good cause. Come.
[lifts up lid to reveal an empty coffin]
Dr. John Seward: [shocked] The body's not there.
Abraham Van Helsing: [not surprised at all] That is good logic as far as it goes. Come.
[replaces lid and fastens it back down]
Abraham Van Helsing: Now, I will tell you what I believe. And then, we must speak with Quincey.

Renfield: I'm not a lunatic in a mad fret. I'm a sane man, fighting for his freedom.
Dr. John Seward: Now come, Mr Renfield. No more of this. Come, go to your room and behave more discreetly.
Renfield: Doctor Seward. I trust you will do me the honour to remember that when this night is out, I did what I could to convince you.

Abraham Van Helsing: It is over. She is dead.
Quincey P. Holmwood: Oh God!
[sobbing]
Quincey P. Holmwood: Why, why?
Dr. John Seward: Quincey!
Abraham Van Helsing: Come, come, Quincey, look at her. Now look at her well.
Dr. John Seward: She doesn't look sick anymore.
Abraham Van Helsing: God is merciful.
Dr. John Seward: She's at peace. It is the end.
Abraham Van Helsing: Not so, alas, - it is only the beginning.


Dracula (1992)
[Renfield holds a plate of bugs]
Renfield: Would you care for a hors d'oeuvre, Dr. Seward or a canape?
Doctor Jack Seward: No, thank you, Mr. Renfield. How are you feeling tonight?
Renfield: Far better than you, my lovesick doctor.
Doctor Jack Seward: Is my personal life of interest to you?
Renfield: Of course it is. All life interests me.
Doctor Jack Seward: Your diet, Mr. Renfield, is disgusting.
Renfield: Actually, they're perfectly nutritious. You see, each life that I ingest gives back life to me.
Doctor Jack Seward: The fly gives you life?
Renfield: Certainly. But you might as well ask a man to eat molecules with a pair of chopsticks than to interest me in lesser carnivore.
Doctor Jack Seward: I shall have to invent a new classification of a lunatic for you. What about spiders? Spiders eat the flies.
Renfield: Yes, spiders eat them.
Doctor Jack Seward: What about sparrows?
Renfield: Oh, yes. Did you say sparrows?
Doctor Jack Seward: Something larger perhaps?
Renfield: Oh, yes. A kitten. I beg you. A little, sleek - a playful kitten. Something I can teach. Something I can feed. No one would refuse me a kitten.
Doctor Jack Seward: Wouldn't you prefer a cat?
Renfield: Oh, yes, a big cat! My salvation depends upon it!
Doctor Jack Seward: Your salvation?
Renfield: Yes! I need lives. I need lives for the master!
Doctor Jack Seward: What? What master?
Renfield: The master will come, and he has promised to make me immortal!
Doctor Jack Seward: How?
[Renfield suddenly attacks Seward and the guards rushed in to subdue him]
Renfield: The blood is the life! The blood is the life!

Van Helsing: Jack. Come here. I know how deeply you loved her. That is why you must trust me and believe.
Doctor Jack Seward: Believe? How can I believe?
Van Helsing: I want you to bring me, before nightfall, a set of postmortem knives.
Doctor Jack Seward: An autopsy? On Lucy?
Van Helsing: No, no, no. Not exactly. I just want to cut off her head and take out her heart.

Van Helsing: Yet, we may still save her precious soul. But, not on an empty stomach! Jack!
Doctor Jack Seward: Yes, sir?
Van Helsing: Ah! I starve! Feed me!


Dracula (1979)
[Dr.Seward is sending a message to Van Helsing over the phone]
Dr. Jack Seward: Mina has died... No not *lied*! *Died*!

Dr. Jack Seward: Count, some wine?
Count Dracula: No thank you, Doctor. I never drink wine.


Dracula 2000 (2000)
Detective Gautreaux: Solina, Dr. Seward here tells me you believe yourself to be a vampire. Now how does one become a vampire, Solina?
Solina: No, how does one become... a lover?
Detective Gautreaux: Well, I-I don't know.
Solina: [Groans] One is chosen.
Detective Gautreaux: You see that?
Dr. Seward: See what?
Solina: [sighs; Sultry voice] Would you like to be chosen, Mr. Detective? Are you waiting for a woman to choose you as a lover?
Detective Gautreaux: You getting this on tape?
Solina: [Yells] Look at me when I'm talking to you!
Detective Gautreaux: Now, Solina, you... you can't see me.
Solina: Of course I can.
[walks toward the one-way mirror as Solina can see through it; long, sultry sigh]
Solina: I can even see the outline of your cock through your pants. Don't pretend we're not interested. You know, it's a special thing to be chosen. Feels like...
[breathes heavily]
Solina: ... being born.


"Penny Dreadful: The Day Tennyson Died (#3.1)" (2016)
Dr. Seward: You're unhappy. You're isolated. You think you are the cause of this unhappiness and are unworthy of affection. So, you have few friends. Recently you lost something that you feel very important; your lover, your faith, your family, or all three. You blame yourself for this so it makes you neurotic. So you don't sleep and don't eat, not anything healthy anyway. You used to care about your appearance but you've lost interest in that so you avoid mirrors. Sunlight bothers you so you avoid that too for which you feel guilty. Because you think it's unhealthy and even immoral not to like the sun. You are not a woman of convention or else you wouldn't be here. But you like to pretend that you are so people don't notice you. But you like that as well and can sometimes dress to draw the eye. But then you think that the men who look at you are fools or worse to be taken in by such an obvious outward show. So, instead, you are drawn to dark, complicated, impossible men. Assuring your own unhappiness and isolation. Because, after all, you're happiest alone. But not even then because you can't stop thinking about what you have lost. Again, for which you blame yourself. So the cycle goes on. The snake eating its tail. Or... you can just have your teeth fixed.


Horror of Dracula (1958)
Tania: Do you know what's wrong with her?
Doctor Seward: Of course, I do.
Tania: Then why don't you make her better?
Gerda: Tania... Tania. How many times have I told you not to go bothering Mrs. Holmwood? I'm sorry, ma'am.
Mina Holmwood: That's alright, Gerda.
Doctor Seward: A child's logic can be most disconcerting.
Mina Holmwood: Yes.


Dracula (2006) (TV)
[last lines]
Mina Murray: Are you hungry?
Dr. John Seward: Yes. Yes. Yes.


Dracula (1931)
Doctor Seward: But, Professor Van Helsing, modern medical science does not admit of such a creature! The vampire is a pure myth, superstition.
Van Helsing: I may be able to bring you proof that the superstition of yesterday can become the scientific reality of today.