The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.
: What the fuck! Brandon's friend 1
: Are you a rookie, you look lost? Matt Stifler
: Are you an asshole, you're hairy and you smell like shit!
: Do you know what you just did? Matt Stifler
: Doesn't matter. Fucker's going down!
: Are you okay? Matt Stifler
: Oh, yeah. Elyse
: I'm so drunk right now... I'm probably gonna forget about you... porkin' an oboe!
: I'll have you giving Chloe the pelvic noogie inside a week.
: Are you really Scottish? Matt Stifler
: Fuck no! My mom made me learn an instrument; that's the most annoying one I could think of.
: I see you 're not wearing you beanie, Stifler. Matt Stifler
: Well, how about I take his beanie...
[takes off Ernie's beanie
] Matt Stifler
: ...and put it on my weenie?
: How's that taste, Vande-cock? Mmmm... good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah, it's a CUM-pletely new formula! 100% Stiffy Juice! SPF 69!
: Let's go Horndog. That's is nickname. Dude will stick his dick in anything, it's unnatural. Jimmy
: This one time in Band Camp, I fucked an oboe. Matt Stifler
: WHAT? Jimmy
: Blowing it for a while. Get that wood nice and warm. Slap on some valve oil, and GO TO TOWN yo!
: I really want to work for NASA. Matt Stifler
: National Anal Sex Association? Ernie Kaplowitz
: No it's Space Assoc... There's an Anal Sex Association? Matt Stifler
: Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro. Wait, there's a Space Association?
: You're going down. Matt Stifler
: No, I'm not. But your mom did last night. Did she play the trumpet? 'Cause she has really strong lips.
: Get her drunk? That's the secret of the ages, that's step number two? Matt Stifler
: No, actually it's step four - but you don't have the balls for two, or the tongue for three!
: STEVE. Those are my lesbians.
[over the radio
] Stifler's brother
: Steve the copwatch thing is horse shit. Man this sucks. Danielle
: Who is it out there? Stifler's brother
: It's the Stifmeister baby. Amber
: Is that so?
: What are you doing here? Stifler's Brother
: Pussy man, I'm here for the pussy. Jim
: Take a number.