Jessica
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Quotes for
Jessica (Character)
from American Pie (1999)

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American Pie 2 (2001)
[Talking to Vicky while she's hanging clothes back up on the racks at work]
Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none.
Vicky: None?
Jessica: The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

[Nadia is sitting at a table drinking a Pepsi when Sherman comes over to start a conversation]
Sherman: [a few minutes into the conversation] I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
Nadia: And I am lucky lady?
Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live.
Nadia: Fuck me, geek!
Sherman: Affirmative!
[Sherman and Nadia go upstairs to have sex]
Stifler, Jessica: No fuckin' way!
Jessica: [Thinking if she would actually be able to get with Stifler] Forget it.
Stifler: Like you have a chance!
[Both knock back a shot]

Stifler: How many girls did you sleep with this year?
Jessica: Wouldn't you like to know.
Stifler: Fuck yeah I would.


American Pie (1999)
Victoria 'Vicky': I want it to be the right time, the right place...
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.

Vicky: [discussing Kevin difficulties saying he love her] Maybe the words aren't that important. It's like, I know he really cares about me, you know even if he can't say if he does. And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's ok cause he's a guy, right?
Jessica: He's got a dick, he's a guy.
Vicky: Right.

Jessica: You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
Vicky: I've never tried it.
Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse?