Vanessa Kensington
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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?

Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.

Vanessa Kensington: Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about that Italian secretary. You know, Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.
Austin Powers: No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.
Vanessa Kensington: What?
Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!
Vanessa Kensington: I don't believe you, Austin! I mean, she was repellant.
Austin Powers: Saucer of milk, table 2. Meow.
Vanessa Kensington: Well, did you use protection?
Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?
Austin Powers: No. Only sailors use condoms, baby.
Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.
Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.

[Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated]
Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one's head.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: That's not the way to get ahead in life.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.
Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.
Austin Powers: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.
Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that'll do.
Austin Powers: Okay.

Vanessa Kensington: Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell!
Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell.
[acts as if he were in a nutshell]
Austin Powers: Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell? Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? This is crazy!

Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, my job is to acclimatize you to the nineties. You know, a lot's changed since 1967.
Austin Powers: No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!

Austin Powers: No, you're right to be suspicious! I shagged her!
Vanessa Kensington: What?
Austin Powers: I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!

Austin Powers: That's fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don't we go in the back and shag?
Vanessa Kensington: What?
Austin Powers: I've been frozen for 30 years. I've gotta see if my bits and pieces are still working.
Vanessa Kensington: Excuse me?
Austin Powers: My Wedding tackle.
Vanessa Kensington: I'm sorry. Uh...
Austin Powers: My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?
Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers... Mr. Powers, please! I'd appreciate it if you could concentrate on our mission and give your libido a rest...

Vanessa Kensington: What's your plan?
Austin Powers: [nervously] First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?
Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.

Vanessa Kensington: I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy
Vanessa Kensington: I'm gonna get us some more champagne jungle boy
Austin: [confused] Are you alright?
Vanessa Kensington: I've never felt better Austin
[crushes bottle]
Austin: Huh? I'm just gonna watch a movie