Felicity Shagwell
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Quotes for
Felicity Shagwell (Character)
from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Austin: [referring to Felicity sleeping with Fat Bastard] Well, how could you do it?
Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my job.
Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.

Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?
Felicity Shagwell: You can start by buying me a drink.

Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.
Austin: Oh, be-have.
Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it.

Felicity Shagwell: Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over.

[massaging Felicity]
Austin: How does that feel, baby?
Felicity Shagwell: Mmm, lower.
Austin: [deep voice] How does that feel, baby?

Felicity Shagwell: So Austin, tell me about the future.
Austin: Well everyone has their own flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the Earth is run by damn dirty apes.
Felicity Shagwell: Oh my God!

Felicity Shagwell: I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s.
Austin: The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.

Fat Bastard: [after Felicity kicks Fat Bastard in the crotch] Oh. Right in the mommy daddy button.
Felicity Shagwell: That's for calling me crap, you fatty!

Austin: Hello, Mommy. Can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars. Don't smack my bottom, Mommy.
Felicity Shagwell: Austin?
Austin: Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows.

Austin: Who sent you?
Mustafa: You have to kill me.
Austin: Who sent you?
Mustafa: Kiss my ass, Powers!
Austin: Who sent you?
Mustafa: Dr. Evil.
Felicity Shagwell: [Surprised] That was easy.
Austin: That was easy.
Felicity Shagwell: Why did you tell us?
Mustafa: I can't stand to be asked the same question three times. It just irritates me.
Austin: Where's Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.
Austin: Where's Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell you.
Austin: Where's Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: Damn, three times. He's hiding in his secret volcano lair.
Austin: Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
Mustafa: [spits] I spit at that question.
Austin: Do I really have to ask you two more times?
Mustafa: Go to hell, Powers.
Austin: Fine. Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
Mustafa: I will take it to the grave with me!
Felicity Shagwell: Ah ha! You have to answer. He asked you three times.
Mustafa: No no no! The second question was 'Do I really have to ask you two more times?'. So that would be the first question in a new line of questioning, and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning.
Austin: He's right.

Austin: [the guard has just fallen in molten lava] What a burn.
Austin: That sort of thing could get a man fired.
Austin: I think he was hot for you.
Felicity Shagwell: That's enough.
Austin: Yeah.

Austin: I've lost my mojo.
Felicity Shagwell: Oh, so that's why you.
Austin: Yes! Yes!
Felicity Shagwell: [smiles] I thought you didn't like me!
Austin: Oh no, baby. You're very shagadelic. I just didn't want to fall in love again, and I thought you'd never love me without my mojo. It's not you. You're fab, you're switched on, you're a bit of alright! YES!

Dr Evil: Well, looks like you have a choice, Mr. Powers. Save the world, or save your girlfriend.
Felicity Shagwell: Austin!
Past Austin: Felicity!
Felicity Shagwell: Don't worry about me, Austin! You've got to save the world!
Austin: [arrives from the time machine] I choose love, baby!
Past Austin: Wait a tick. Who are you?
Austin: I'm you ten minutes from now.
Past Austin: Damn it. You are handsome, baby, yeah!
Austin: [laughs] I was just thinking the same.
Past Austin: We are sexy!
Austin: We are sexy bitches, yes!
Dr Evil: Alright, this is re-goddamn-diculous. Kill them both!