Sam Witwicky
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Quotes for
Sam Witwicky (Character)
from Transformers (2007)

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Sam Witwicky: You don't stop, you don't hide. You run. You understand me?
Ron Witwicky: No!
Sam Witwicky: You've gotta let me go. You've gotta let me go.
Judy Witwicky: Let him go.
Ron Witwicky: You come back! YOU COME BACK!

Sam Witwicky: Bee, I want to talk to you about the college thing, okay?
Bumblebee: [does a dance] "I'm so excited, / And I just can't hide it..."
Sam Witwicky: Hey! I'm not taking you with me!
[Bumblebee is downcast]
Mikaela Banes: I'm gonna wait outside...
[goes outside and starts to strip]
Sam Witwicky: Bumblebee, just hear me out okay? You know, freshmen aren't allowed to have cars, that's all it is. It is best for both of us. I know it doesn't sound like it but... you're an Autobot, you shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean you're suffocating in here. Hey will you look at me please? Hey, come on big guy...
[gives Bumblebee a hug]
Sam Witwicky: Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. It's over with. You've gotta be something else, you've got have a bigger purpose then just me, Bee! I can't be the end all deal in your life! I wanna be normal, I want to go to college. Everybody has this, and I should be able to experience this. And I can't do that with you.
[Bumblebee bursts into tears; literally, with his windscreen cleaners malfunctioning]
Sam Witwicky: Come on... it's not the last time I'm gonna see you, you know? Come on, don't do that... Bee, you're killing me...
[Bee angrily gesticulates to Sam to go away]
Sam Witwicky: You'll always be my first car man. I love you.
[leaves the garage]

Jetfire: What do you want?
Sam Witwicky: Look, we just want to talk!
Jetfire: I've got no time to talk, I'm on a mission! I'm a mercenary doom-bringer!... What planet am I on?
Sam Witwicky: Earth.
Jetfire: Earth? Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it DIRT, Planet Dirt...

[Sam shows Mikaela Bumblebee testing his vocal processors]
Mikaela Banes: Is he still having voice problems?
Sam Witwicky: He's playing it off.

Sam Witwicky: [on the phone with Mikeala] I just read a 903-page astronomy book in 32.6 seconds. I had a meltdown in the middle of my class. I am seeing symbols ever since I...
Mikaela Banes: Since what?
Sam Witwicky: Ever since I touched the Cube splinter.

Sam Witwicky: Hey, beautiful! I made you a long-distance relationship kit... I got you a webcam so we can communicate 24/7!
Mikaela Banes: Sounds cute. I can't wait...

Sam Witwicky: You won't give me a day, huh? You won't give me one day in college?
Optimus Prime: I'm sorry, Sam, but the last fragment of the All Spark was stolen.
Sam Witwicky: Like what? Like Decepticons stole it?
Optimus Prime: We placed it under human protection at your government's request... but I'm here for your help, Sam, because your leaders believe we brought vengeance upon your planet. Perhaps they are right. That is why they must be reminded by another human of the trust we share.
Sam Witwicky: This isn't my war!
Optimus Prime: Not yet. But I fear it soon will be. Your world must not share the same fate as Cybertron. Whole generations lost...
Sam Witwicky: I know, and I want to help you, I do, but I am not some alien ambassador, you know? I'm a normal kid with normal problems. I am where I'm supposed to be. I'm sorry, I... I really am.
Optimus Prime: Sam, fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.
Sam Witwicky: You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me.
[Sam walks away]
Optimus Prime: We do, more than you know.

[Mikaela dresses up in a fancy dress to surprise Sam]
Sam Witwicky: Wow!

Sam Witwicky: Hey, you know the glyphs? These? The symbols that have been rattling around in my head?
[shows the Twins the symbols he drew]
Skids: That's old school, yo. That's like... That's Cybertronian.
Mudflap: That's some serious stuff, right there.
Sam Witwicky: They gotta mean something, like a map or like map. Like a map to an Energon source! Can you read this?
Skids: Read?
Mudflap: No. We don't really do much reading. Not so much.
Sam Witwicky: If you can't read it, we gotta find somebody who can.

[Sam and Mikaela discover Simmons working in a diner]
Sam Witwicky: You gotta be kidding me...

[Sam, Mikaela and Leo are on the run from Decepticons]
Leo Spitz: Okay, so what else don't I know, all right? Since you guys forgot to mention some minor details.
Sam Witwicky: [to Leo] That thing that you saw back there, that was the little baby... WHHOOOAAAA!
[Grindor comes for them]

[the Witwicky home is under siege by Decepticons]
Ron Witwicky: What was that?
Sam Witwicky: That's the whole kitchen!

Sam Witwicky: [after Bumblebee sprays Alice with fluid] I got Wetnaps. I got Wetnaps for your face!

Megatron: There is another source of Energon hidden on this planet. The boy could lead us to it.
[Megatron sends Prime sprawling with a kick]
Sam Witwicky: OPTIMUS!
[Megatron blasts Optimus]
Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Sam Witwicky: Up! GET UP!
Optimus Prime: You'll never stop at one!
[Surrounded by Decepticons, Optimus Prime unsheathes Energon blades]
Optimus Prime: I'll take you ALL on!

[to Mikaela]
Sam Witwicky: I love you.

Sam Witwicky: Bee, if you hate me I understand. I messed up. I'm sorry.
Bumblebee: [through his radio] "You are the person I care for most in my life, and if there is anything you need I won't be far away."

Mikaela Banes: It took all this to say you love me.
Sam Witwicky: You said it first.

Jetfire: Tell me, is that robot civil war still going on? Who's winning?
Sam Witwicky: The Decepticons.
[Jetfire grimaces and spits]
Jetfire: Well, I changed sides to the Autobots.
Sam Witwicky: What do you mean, changed sides?
Jetfire: It's a choice. It's an intensely personal decision. So much negativity... Who wants to live a life filled with hate?
Wheelie: You mean you don't have to work for those miserable freaking Decepticons?
Jetfire: If the Decepticons had their way, they'd destroy the whole universe!

Skids: Oh, look who came sashaying back.
Mudflap: Hair growing like a Chia Pet, look at him.
Leo Spitz: I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, right?
Mudflap: That's 'cause you're a pussy.
Leo Spitz: I think I'm allowed that, considering what I've been through.
[directs attention to Sam]
Leo Spitz: Hey, you say you have in your head? I know someone who can help.
Sam Witwicky: Who?
Leo Spitz: RoboWarrior.

Sam Witwicky: I'm sorry, what were you saying?
[Jetfire thrusts himself right in their faces, making them fall over]
Jetfire: I told you my name was Jetfire! So stop judging me!
Wheelie: Whoa, somebody shit the bed this morning!

Ron Witwicky: Let's go. March, young lady!
[to his son's horror, Ron slaps his wife's derriere]
Judy Witwicky: I love it when you call me "young lady," you dirty old man.
[goes upstairs giggling]
Ron Witwicky: You ain't seen nothing yet...
Sam Witwicky: Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!
Ron Witwicky: What?
Sam Witwicky: I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video.
Ron Witwicky: It's just like a coach thing.
Sam Witwicky: That was a really creepy move just now, Dad.

Megatron: Come here, boy. Closer... You remember me, don't you?
Sam Witwicky: I'll do what you say, all right? Just don't hurt them...
Megatron: SHUT UP!
[flicks Sam through a wall and onto a table]
Megatron: [pinning Sam down] It feels good to grab your flesh! I am going to kill you slowly, painfully, but first, we have some delicate work to do. How could I snap your limbs off!

[in the middle of the Egyptian desert]
Leo Spitz: [looking around] Hey, I think we're in Vegas!
Agent Simmons: That really, really hurt. You're just lucky that I didn't get hurt! People could have gotten killed, okay? And if I would have gotten hurt, you would have heard...
Jetfire: Oh, shut up! I told you I was opening a space bridge, it's the fastest way to travel to Egypt.
Sam Witwicky: [his hand injured and bandaged] When did you... When did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything. You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt?
Jetfire: Don't you get snippy with me, fleshling! You were duly informed!

Mikaela Banes: Okay, so how do we stop him?
Jetfire: Only a Prime can defeat the Fallen.
Sam Witwicky: Optimus Prime?
[Jetfire leans forward to look at Sam]
Jetfire: So you've met a Prime? Why, you must have met a great descendant. Is he alive? Here, on this planet?
Sam Witwicky: He sacrificed himself to save me.
Jetfire: So he's dead. Without a Prime, it's impossible. No one else could have stopped the Fallen.
Sam Witwicky: So, the same energy that's gonna be used to reactivate the machine... could that energy somehow be used to reactive Optimus and bring him back to life?
Jetfire: It was never designed for that purpose, but it's an energy like no other.
Sam Witwicky: So, then how do you get us to the Matrix before the Decepticons get to me?
Jetfire: Follow your mind, your map, your symbols! What you carved in the sand, it's your clue: "When dawn lights the Dagger's Tip, Three Kings will reveal the doorway!" Find the doorway! Go now! GO! That was my mission! It's YOUR mission now! Go before the Decepticons find me and find you!
[Sam, Mikaela, Leo, Simmons, Bumblebee and the Twins leave]

Leo Spitz: [about Simmons] You know him?
Sam Witwicky: We're old friends.
Agent Simmons: Old FRIENDS? You are the case that shut down Sector Seven. Now that it disbanded, no security clearance, no retirement, no nothing! All because of you!
[looks at Mikaela]
Agent Simmons: And your little criminal girlfriend. Look at her now, so mature.

Jetfire: Somewhere buried in this desert, our ancestors built a great machine. It harvests Energon by destroying suns.
Sam Witwicky: Destroy suns?
Leo Spitz: You mean blow them up?
Jetfire: Yes! You see, in the beginning, there were seven Primes, our original leaders. And they set out into the universe, seeking distant suns to harvest. The Primes set out with one rule: never destroy a planet with life. Until one of them tried to defy this rule. And his name was, forevermore, the Fallen...
[projects a hologram and narrates the events seen within]
Jetfire: He despised the human race, and he wanted to kill you all by turning on that machine. The only way to activate it is with a legendary key called the Matrix of Leadership. A great battle took place over the possession of the Matrix. The Fallen was stronger than his brothers, so they had no choice but to steal and hide it from him. In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the Matrix away in a tomb made of their very own bodies. A tomb we cannot find.
[shuts off the hologram]
Jetfire: Somewhere, buried in this desert, that deadly machine remains. The Fallen knows where it is, and if he finds the Tomb of the Primes, you world will be no more.

Wheelie: I'm changing sides. I'm changing sides too, Warrior Goddess!
[climbs on Mikaela's foot]
Wheelie: Who's your little Autobot?
Mikaela Banes: Aww, you're cute...
Wheelie: Name's Wheelie. Yeah. Say my name, say my name...
Sam Witwicky: What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now?
Mikaela Banes: At least he's faithful, Sam.
Mikaela Banes: Yeah, well, he's faithful and he's nude and he's perverted. Can you just... Can you stop?
[pulls Wheelie off Mikaela]
Wheelie: Hey, what are you doing?
Sam Witwicky: Just stay right there, okay? I'm not gonna tell you again.

[At dawn, Sam looks up in the sky and makes a discovery]
Sam Witwicky: [points at a cluster of stars] See those stars, see how the last one touches the horizon? That's Orion's Belt. It's also called the Three Kings, the reason for that is because the three Egyptian kings who ruled in Giza built them to mirror those stars. So, it's like an arrow staring you in the face...
Agent Simmons: They all point due east, towards Jordan. The mountains of Petra...

[Leo dials on a cellphone]
Sam Witwicky: What're you doing?
Leo Spitz: Making a call so I can get outta here!
[Sam snatches the phone]
Sam Witwicky: Dude, the government can track us with these!
[breaks the phone]
Leo Spitz: They can track us?

Sam Witwicky: I love it when you say "camshafts." Whisper it to me.
Mikaela Banes: Camshafts.

Leo Spitz: [breaking down during the assault by the Decepticons] Oh, God. Please, God! Please...!
Mikaela Banes: Leo, stop freaking out, stop freaking out.
Agent Simmons: Shut this guy up, huh?
Leo Spitz: Please, just let me live, just let me live!
Mikaela Banes: Shut up and let him drive!
Sam Witwicky: Just stop screaming...
Agent Simmons: All right, that's it!
[tases Leo, rendering him unconscious]
Agent Simmons: I can't take that guy anymore.

Sam Witwicky: Okay guys, low profile, all right?
Wheelie: Some of us have work to do! Dumb Autobots...

Leo Spitz: Okay, I'm just gonna go to the cops, all right? I'm going to tell the truth...
Sam Witwicky: Hey, you wanted this! You wanted the Real Deal? Wake up, you're in the MIDDLE of it! You want to go, nobody's in your way!
[Leo stares at Sam, at a loss of words]
Leo Spitz: Stop complaining!

Judy Witwicky: [touring Sam's college] People are sure friendly here. Some kids just gave me this bag of brownies.
Sam Witwicky: Mom, that's not a brownie! Don't take it!
Judy Witwicky: Sam, I am your mother and I can do what I want!
Ron Witwicky: Honey! They baked it with reefer!

Optimus Prime: Thank you, Sam, for saving my life.
Sam Witwicky: You're welcome. Thank you for believing in me.

[Optimus, in truck mode and carrying Sam, is being chased by Megatron in tank mode]
Sam Witwicky: Here he comes!
[Megatron and Optimus Prime transform; Megatron tackles Prime just as Sam jumps out]
Optimus Prime: HIDE, SAM!

Sam Witwicky: Maybe we can help each other. You know things I don't know, I know things you don't know...
Leo Spitz: I don't think he knows what we know.
[Sam carves Cybertronian symbols into the ground with a dagger]
Sam Witwicky: I could do this all day. It comes in waves, these vivid symbols. They're symbols, but they're in my mind. You see, all this is in my mind, and Megatron want what's in my mind, him and someone called the Fallen...
Jetfire: The Fallen? I know him. He left me here to rust! The original Decepticon! He's terrible to work for, it's always apocalyose, chaos, crisis...
[scrutinizes the symbols]
Jetfire: These transcriptions, they were part of my mission! The Fallen's search... I remember now!... for the Dagger's Tip, a-and the Key!
Sam Witwicky: Slow down! The Dagger's Tip? The Key? What are you talking about?
Jetfire: [activating a space bridge] No time to explain! Hold on, everybody! Stay still or you'll die!
[Humans and robots vanish into a flare of light, they all fall in the sand as they arrive in Egypt]
Jetfire: Well, that wasn't so bad. I just hope we're still on the right planet.
Wheelie: [tumbling] Hey, that freaking hurt!

Ron Witwicky: Sam!
Judy Witwicky: What?
Ron Witwicky: Sam!
Sam Witwicky: Mom! Dad!
[Rampage launches himself in front of Sam, tossing his parents around]
Sam Witwicky: Wait! WAIT!
Ron Witwicky: Sam, listen to me! I want you to run!
Sam Witwicky: Wait, wait, wai...
[Sam hears a whistle, and catches sight of a hidden Bumblebee... ]
Sam Witwicky: Okay...
[holds up his sock]
Sam Witwicky: Okay, this is what you want... and I know you need me, 'cause I know about the Matrix...
Rampage: [growling] Sam Witwicky...
Ron Witwicky: Sam, just go!
Judy Witwicky: Sam, listen to your father!
Ron Witwicky: Sam, they're gonna kill us all anyway!
Sam Witwicky: Look, just come over here and take it, don't harm them... okay. BUMBLEBEE!
[Bumblebee jumps on Rampage]
Sam Witwicky: Take 'im down, Bee!

Sam Witwicky: [about the kiss from Alice] You ever had your stomach tongued by a mountain ox with a five-foot tongue? It's fun for me, okay, Mikaela? And it smelled like... Like diesel! Like a diesel-y tinge to it!
Mikaela Banes: You're such a little girl!

Mikaela Banes: [to Wheelie] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about your eye. But if you're a good boy, then I'm not gonna put out your other eye. I'm not gonna hurt you. Just tell me what these symbols are, please...
Wheelie: [examines the documents] Oh... oh, I know that, that's the language of the Primes! I don't read it, but these guys... Where the frick did you find photos of these guys?
Sam Witwicky: Is this them?
Wheelie: Yeah! Seekers, pal! Oldest of the old! They've been here for thousands of years, looking for something. I don't know what, nobody tells me nothing. But they'll translate those symbols for you. And I know where to find them!

Sam Witwicky: Bee, get in the garage! NOW!
Bumblebee: [through his radio] "Whatever!"

Mikaela Banes: You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Sam Witwicky: And?
Mikaela Banes: I'd do anything for you.
Mikaela Banes: And?
Judy Witwicky: [watching intently] He's about to say the L-word?
Ron Witwicky: [impatient] Come on, kiddo.
Sam Witwicky: I... adore you.

Agent Simmons: [ripping off pants and throwing them to Sam] Hold those.
[he is wearing a jock strap]
Sam Witwicky: What is THAT?
Agent Simmons: What? Oh, I wear it when I'm in a funk. So does Giambi, Jeter... It's a baseball thing.

Ron Witwicky: You'll see that a lot in college, too.
Sam Witwicky: What are you talking about, Dad?
Ron Witwicky: There's gonna be a lot of women there.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah, well, I'm a one-woman kind of guy.
Ron Witwicky: Look, Mikaela's the greatest, but you gotta give each other room to grow, okay? You're no different than any other couple your age.
Sam Witwicky: Except we discovered an alien race together.
Ron Witwicky: [scoffs] How long you gonna ride that scooter?

Sam Witwicky: You know what this is? This is the awkward moment. Yeah, see, you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy. I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy. Balanced, unmedicated, nothing under the crawl space.
Leo Spitz: Good personal hygiene, won't stab me in my sleep.
Sam Witwicky: No criminal record, won't steal anything.
Leo Spitz: Including girlfriends.
Sam Witwicky: Especially girlfriends.
Leo Spitz: You got a girlfriend?
Sam Witwicky: I do. You?
Leo Spitz: No, not a chance.

Megatron: Dotor, examine this alien specimen...
[the Doctor transforms and crawls on Sam]
Doctor: I'll scan you. Let's take a look at your face. I'm ze Doctor. Ze oddjob. Information!
[shoves a probe down Sam's throat, and acquires readings from a hologram]
Megatron: Oh, there they are...
Sam Witwicky: What?
Megatron: These symbols can lead us to the Energon source!
Doctor: We must have ze brain on ze table! Chop chop!
Sam Witwicky: Brain? What does he mean by my brain?
Megatron: Well, you have something on your mind, something I need...
Sam Witwicky: Hold on, I know you're pissed, I know you're pissed because I tried to kill, you and it's completely understandable! If somebody tried to kill me, I'd be upset too! I think we have an oppurtunity here to start anew, and-and develop our relationship, and see what it leads us, okay? So, you just call the Doctor Inspector off and let's just talk for five seconds!
[the Doctor pulls out a buzzsaw]

Frat guy: Freshman!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah?
Frat guy: Is that your car in our bushes?
Sam Witwicky: No... uh, this is a friend of mine's, he just... went to go get you a tighter shirt...
Frat guy: There isn't a tighter shirt! We checked!

Frat guy: How about I park my foot up your ass?
Sam Witwicky: What size shoe do you wear?

Wheelie: I will have so many Decepticons on your butt!
Mikaela Banes: [brings out blowtorch] Hey, behave!
Sam Witwicky: What is it, a Decepticon?
Mikaela Banes: Yeah.
Sam Witwicky: And you're training him?
Mikaela Banes: I'm trying to.
Agent Simmons: I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens, and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua.
Wheelie: Huh? Do you want a throwdown, you pubic 'fro-head?

[attacked by Alice]
Sam Witwicky: Tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue!

Leo Spitz: That's it! No mas! I'm not going anywhere, all right? And you guys are crazy! You don't even know where you're going! I'm staying! Who's with me, huh?
[no response]
Leo Spitz: Viva la revolution!
Mikaela Banes: Good luck, Leo.
Sam Witwicky: Enjoy the heat!
Agent Simmons: You're better off staying, you're slowing down the mission. I give you twenty minutes before the vultures start pecking at you like lunch meat! Try swallowing your tongue, go out quickly. End it with dignity.
[Everyone gets in the car and leaves]
Leo Spitz: Wait, wait, wait! Don't leave me with this old-ass plane... WAIT!
[runs after the convoy]

Professor Colan: Young man, I will not be punk'd in front of the dean. No, this is my universe here. Do you understand me? I am the alpha and the omega. Get out of my class!
Sam Witwicky: Yes, sir.
[Sam leaves]
Professor Colan: Anyone else care to have some sort of mental breakdown?

[Sam appears back in college]
Professor Colan: So glad you could join us, Professor Einstein.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah, I was kinda busy. Okay.

[from director's cut]
Sam Witwicky: Bumblebee, just hear me out okay? You know, freshmen aren't allowed to have cars, that's all it is. It is best for both of us. I know it doesn't sound like it but... you're an Autobot, you shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean you're suffocating in here. Hey will you look at me please? Hey, come on big guy...
[gives Bumblebee a hug]
Sam Witwicky: Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. It's over with. You've gotta be something else, you've got have a bigger purpose then just me, Bee! I can't be the end all deal in your life!
Bumblebee: What is YOUR purpose, Sam?
Sam Witwicky: I don't know. I... I wanna be normal, I want to go to college. Everybody has this, and I should be able to experience this. And I can't do that with you.
[Bumblebee bursts into tears; literally, with his windscreen cleaners malfunctioning]

Sam Witwicky: [to Alice and Leo as they enter the room to find he's written in Cybertronian all over the walls] Hey! You ever have a song stuck in your head? Its like the worst song ever, but you cant help but whistle it or sing it cause it repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself. Kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar.
Leo Spitz: Dude, what the eff?
Sam Witwicky: I know you're freaking out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Easy fix. Puzzle code in my head. Now it's on the walls. Everything is good.

Sam Witwicky: Look, I am slowly losing my mind, okay? I had a little crab bot plug in to my brain and start projecting little alien symbols like a freaking home movie! And on top of that, I am a wanted fugitive! So you think you got it rough?
Agent Simmons: You said it projected images from your brain?
Sam Witwicky: Yeah.
Agent Simmons: Meat locker, now!

Leo Spitz: HEY! Who drove a freaking yellow Camaro? There's a car on the porch!
[Sam rushes out to see Bumblebee outside]
Sam Witwicky: What are you doing here?
Bumblebee: [through his radio] "Houston, we have a problem."

Mikaela Banes: Guys always run when you say it first.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah, well, so do girls. Especially, girls like you with options.
Mikaela Banes: So this is all part of your elaborate plan to keep me interested?
Sam Witwicky: Can be.
Mikaela Banes: Ain't those working?

Transformers (2007)
Sam Witwicky: No, no, no, no, no, no... Hey! That's my car!
[Sam grabs a cellphone and cycle and chases after his car]
Sam Witwicky: Hello? 911 emergency! My car's been stolen! I'm in pursuit! I need the whole squadron, bring everyone! No, no don't ask any questions, my father's the head of the neighbourhood watch!

Sam Witwicky: Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up.
Sheriff: It just stood up? Wow. That's really neat. Okay, chiefie. Time to fill her up...
[hands Sam a container and a tissue]
Sheriff: And no drippy-drippy. What are you rolling? Whippets? Goof balls? A little wowie sauce with the boys?
Sam Witwicky: No, I'm not on any drugs!
Sheriff: What's these?
[shows Sam a bottle of pills]
Sheriff: Found it in your pocket. "Mojo". Is that what the kids are doing now, a little bit of Mojo...?
Sam Witwicky: Those are my dog's pain pills.
Ron Witwicky: You know, a Chihauhua. A little...
Sheriff: [annoyed] What was that?
Sam Witwicky: Hmm?
Sheriff: You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go?
[leans over Sam]
Sheriff: Make something happen. Do it. 'Cause I promise you I will bust you up.
Sam Witwicky: [whispers] Are you on drugs?

[Bumblebee, with Sam and Mikaela inside, is being chased by Barricade]
Mikaela: Oh, God! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!
Sam Witwicky: No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die. Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver!
[Bumblebee heads towards a wall]
Sam Witwicky: [high-pitched scream] Oh, my God! No! We're gonna die!

Agent Simmons: Last night at the station, you told the officer your car transformed. Enlighten me.
Sam Witwicky: Well, here's what I said, okay? 'Cause this is a total misunderstanding that my car had been stolen...
Agent Simmons: Really?
Sam Witwicky: ...from me, from my home, but it's fine now because it's back! It came back!
Mikaela: Well, not by itself.
Sam Witwicky: Well, no.
Mikaela: Because cars don't do that because that would be crazy.
[everyone laughs]
Agent Simmons: So what do you kids know about aliens, huh?
[laughing stops]

Agent Simmons: What you're about to see is totally classified...
[Project Iceman is reveled: a towering mechanical clossus, imprisoned in a cryogenic chamber]
Keller: Dear God... what is this?
Tom Banachek: We think that when he made his approach over the North Pole our gravitation field screwed up his telemetry and crashed into the ice, probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934.
Agent Simmons: We call him NBE-1.
Sam Witwicky: I don't mean to correct you on all that you think you know, but that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons.
Tom Banachek: He's been in cryo-stasis since 1935. Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.
Agent Simmons: Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age. The microchip, lasers, cars, space flight: all reverse-engineered by studying him. NBE-1...
[glares at Sam]
Agent Simmons: That's what we call IT!
Keller: And you didn't think that the United States Military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?
Tom Banachek: Until these events we had no credible threats to national security.
Keller: Well, you got one now!

Bobby Bolivia: [about the Camaro] I'll let you have it for $5,000.
Ron Witwicky: No, I'm not going above $4,000.
Bobby Bolivia: The door just closed.
[turns to Sam]
Bobby Bolivia: Get out of the car.
Sam Witwicky: Wait a minute? I thought you said "the car chooses its owner.",
Bobby Bolivia: Yeah, well sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father!

Captain Lennox: So why Earth?
Sam Witwicky: It's the All Spark.
Keller: All Spark? What is that?
Sam Witwicky: Well, they came here looking for some sort of cube-looking thing. Anyway, Mr. NBE-1 here, aka MEGATRON...
[glares at Simmons]
Sam Witwicky: That's what they call HIM... who's pretty much the harbinger of death, wants to use the cube to transform human technology to take over the universe. That's their plan.

Captain Lennox: Sam! Where's the Cube?
Sam Witwicky: Right there.
Captain Lennox: Okay. Epps, get those Black Hawks here!
[sees a building]
Captain Lennox: That building. Okay.
Sam Witwicky: What?
Captain Lennox: All right, I can't leave my guys back there, so here, take this flare.
[hands him the flare and the All Spark]
Captain Lennox: Okay, there's a tall, white building with statues on top. Go to the roof. Set the flare.
Sam Witwicky: No.
Captain Lennox: Signal the chopper and set the flare.
Sam Witwicky: No, no. I can't do this!
Captain Lennox: [grabs him] Listen to me! You're a soldier now! All right? I need you to take this Cube. Get it into military hands while we hold them off, or a lot of people are gonna die.
[to Mikaela]
Captain Lennox: You got to go. You got to go.
Mikaela: No, I'm not leaving.
Captain Lennox: You need to go. Go.
Mikaela: No, I'm not leaving till I get Bumblebee out of here, okay?
USAF Master Sgt. Epps: [into radio] Army Black Hawk requested. Immediate evac for civilian boy with precious cargo. Headed to rooftop marked by flare.
Ironhide: Sam, we will protect you.
Sam Witwicky: [breathing heavily] Okay.

Trent: You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?
Sam Witwicky: Oh, no, no, that... No. That, that wasn't like a real try-out. I was researching a book I was writing.
Trent: Oh, yeah?
Sam Witwicky: Yeah!
Trent: [grinning] Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?
Sam Witwicky: [laughs a little] No, it's about the link between brain damage and football.
[Trent looks really angry, while Mikaela hides a smile]
Sam Witwicky: [nods head] No, it... it's a good book. Your friends will love it. You know, it's got mazes in it and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. It's... a lot of fun.

[Bumblebee drives Sam and Mikaela through a tunnel]
Mikaela: [in the back seat] This car's a pretty good driver.
Sam Witwicky: [in the passenger seat] Yeah.
[looks at the empty driver's seat]
Sam Witwicky: Why don't you go sit on that seat there?
Mikaela: I'm not gonna sit on that seat. He's driving.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah. You're right. You know, maybe you should sit on my lap.
Mikaela: Why?
Sam Witwicky: Well, I have the only seat belt here. Safety first.
Mikaela: Yeah. Right.
[Mikaela moves from the back seat to Sam's lap]
Sam Witwicky: See? That's better.
Mikaela: You know, that seat belt thing was a pretty smooth move.
Sam Witwicky: Thank you.

Ironhide: You have a rodent infestation.
Sam Witwicky: A what?
Ironhide: [aiming cannons at Mojo] Shall I terminate?
Sam Witwicky: No! No! This is a chihuahua. We love chihuahuas.
Ironhide: He's leaked lubricants all over my foot! Hmmph!
Sam Witwicky: He peed on you? Bad Mojo! Bad!
Ironhide: Bad Mojo! Ugh, my foot's gonna rust...

Mikaela: Why are you here?
Optimus Prime: We are here looking for the All Spark. And we must find it before Megatron.
Sam Witwicky: Mega-what?
[Prime projects a holographic view of Cybertron]
Optimus Prime: Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him...
Sam Witwicky: My grandfather.
Optimus Prime: It was an accident that intertwined our fates.
[Captain Witwicky discovers Megatron in the ice]
Optimus Prime: Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube.
[the Captain fiddles with Megatron's gears, causing a bright light to strike him... ]
Optimus Prime: He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses.
Sam Witwicky: How did you know about his glasses?
Optimus Prime: eBay.
Sam Witwicky: eBay...
Ratchet: If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army.
Optimus Prime: And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.
Mikaela: Please tell me that you have those glasses?

Sam Witwicky: [begging his teacher to give him an "A"] Look, can you do me a favor-can you look out the window for a second? See my father? He's the guy in the green car? Let me tell you about a dream, a boy's dream, and a man's promise to that boy. He looked him in the eye and said "Son, I' gonna buy you a car, but I want you to bring me two-thousand dollars and three A's." OK, I got the two thousand and two A's. OK, here's the dream. Your B minus? Pfff! Dream gone. Kaput. Sir, just ask yourself... What would Jesus do?

Trent: So, what are you guys doing here?
Sam Witwicky: [looking at the tree Miles is climbing] We're here to climb this tree.

Sam Witwicky: [as a technician hoses down Bumblebee] Stop! You gotta stop! Stop! Stop! Let him go! Let him go!
[technicians stop, Bumblebee looks to Sam]
Sam Witwicky: Ya okay? They didn't hurt you, right?
[Bumblebee, wild with pain, draws his blaster, aiming at everyone]
Sam Witwicky: [calming both Bumblebee and the humans] Listen to me, the Cube is here, and the Decepticons are coming... No, no, don't worry about them, they're ok, right, they're not gonna hurt you... Just back up a little bit, he's friendly, he's fine... Ok, come on, put the guns down, they're not gonna hurt you. Come with me, we're gonna take you to the All Spark.

Sam Witwicky: [to a crippled Bumblebee] I'm not going to leave you!

Sam Witwicky: Where's my car?
Tom Banachek: Son, listen to me very carefully. People could die here. We need to know everything you know, and we need to know it right now.
Sam Witwicky: Okay... But first I'll take my car, my parents - maybe you should write that down. Oh, and her juvie record. That's gotta be gone. Like, forever.
Tom Banachek: [exhales] Come with me. We'll talk about your car.
Mikaela: [to Sam] Thank you.
Sam Witwicky: Sure.
Agent Simmons: [deep sigh] The man's an extortionist.

Mikaela: [after Sam has tripped on his mother's bike] That was, uh... that was really awesome.
Sam Witwicky: Felt awesome.
Mikaela: Are you okay?
Sam Witwicky: No, I'm not okay alright? I'm losin' my mind a little bit. Gettin' chased by my car right now, gotta go!

Ron Witwicky: [drives past a Porsche dealer] I've got a little surprise for you, son.
Sam Witwicky: No, no, no, no! Dad! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
Ron Witwicky: Yeah, I am. You're not getting a Porsche!

Optimus Prime: Sam... you risked your life to protect the Cube.
Sam Witwicky: No sacrifice, no victory.

Sam Witwicky: That's stupid. That was a stupid line. "There's more than meets the eye with you." Stupid.

Sam Witwicky: [to Mikaela] I was wondering if, if I could ride you home... I, I mean if I could give you a ride home!

Bobby Bolivia: [pointing at himself] You come to see me?
Sam Witwicky: I had to.
Sam Witwicky: That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobbie B, baby, Uncle Bobbie B.
[smiles and shakes Sam's hand]

Ron Witwicky: [brandishing a bat, outside his son's door] 5... 4... It's comin' off the hinges, pal. 3... 2... stand back!
[as Ron gets ready to break the door down, Sam opens it]
Sam Witwicky: What's up?... What's with the bat?
Ron Witwicky: Who were you talking to?
Sam Witwicky: Talkin' to you!
Judy Witwicky: Why are you so sweaty and filthy?
Sam Witwicky: I'm a child, you know, I'm a teenager.

Optimus Prime: Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendent of Archibald Witwicky?
Mikaela: They know your name!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah.
Optimus Prime: My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybertron.
Ratchet: But you can call us "Autobots", for short.

Sam Witwicky: [in a used car showroom] You ever seen "The 40 Year Old Virgin"?
Ron Witwicky: Yeah...
Sam Witwicky: [points to a car] Well, you see this? This is the 40-year-old virgin...
[points to another car]
Sam Witwicky: And this is the 50-year-old virgin!

Sam Witwicky: [after the Autobots have ripped the top off the car] You A-holes are in trouble now. Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, Optimus Prime.
Optimus Prime: Taking the children was a BAD move! Autobots, relieve them of their weapons!

Sam Witwicky: [on phone about Bumblebee] Um yeah, Satan's Camaro? It's stalking me!

Sam Witwicky: It's custom-faded?

Barricade: Are you username: LadiesMan217?
Sam Witwicky: I don't know what you're talking about!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah...
Barricade: Where is the eBay item 21153? WHERE ARE THE GLASSES?

Sam Witwicky: [to five vehicles in his yard] This isn't hiding! That's my backyard, not a truckstop!

Sam Witwicky: [to Frenzy] Not so tough without a head, are ya?
[kicks Frenzy's head]

Sam Witwicky: So...
Maggie Madsen: What'd they get you for?
Sam Witwicky: I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot.
Glen: [whispered] Wow.
Sam Witwicky: Who knew?

Sam Witwicky: [checking out his car for the first time] Feels good.

Sam Witwicky: [speaking to Optimus Prime through his window] Okay, listen. You gotta listen to me! If my parents come out here and see you, they're going to freak. My mother's got a temper.

Bumblebee: [fully repaired] Permission to speak, sir?
Optimus Prime: Permission granted, old friend.
Sam Witwicky: You speak now?
Bumblebee: I wish to stay with the boy.
Optimus Prime: If that is his choice.
Sam Witwicky: Yes.

Sam Witwicky: ...and the compass makes uh... a great gift for Columbus Day...

Sam Witwicky: This... I can't do it anymore. You're putting girl jewelry on a boy dog.
Judy Witwicky: What?
Sam Witwicky: He's got enough self-esteem issues being a Chihuahua, Mom.
Judy Witwicky: That's his bling!

[trying to escape Barricade, Sam tackles Mikaela off her bike]
Mikaela: What is your problem, Sam?
Sam Witwicky: Okay, there's a monster, it just attacked me!
[Barricade stomps after them]
Sam Witwicky: Here it comes!

Sam Witwicky: I'm cool with, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it, actually.

Sam Witwicky: [upon seeing his car transform, he hides and starts making a video last testament with his phone] My name is Sam Witwicky. Whoever finds this, my car is alive, okay?
[holds up phone]
Sam Witwicky: You saw that, since this is my last words on Earth, I just wanna say, Mom, Dad, I love you and if you find "Busty Beauties" under my bed, it wasn't mine. I'm holding it for Miles. No, No, wait that... Okay, that's not true. It's mine and Uncle Charles gave it to me. I'm sorry. Mojo, I love you.

Mikaela: You got a high rise double pump carburetor. That's... that's pretty impressive, Sam.
Sam Witwicky: Double pump?
Mikaela: It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster.
Sam Witwicky: Oh... I like to go faster.

Sam Witwicky: [looking up at Bumblebee] Can you talk?
Bumblebee: [through his radio] "XM Satellite One"..."Digital Cable brings you"..."Columbia Broadcasting System"...
Sam Witwicky: So, you... so you talk through the radio?
Bumblebee: [clapping his hands] "Thank you, you're beautiful! You're wonderful, you're wonderful."
Sam Witwicky: So what was that last night? What was that?
Bumblebee: [pointing skywards] "Message from Starfleet, Captain"..."Throughout the inanimate vastness of space"..."And angels will rain down like visitors from Heaven! Hallelujah!"
Mikaela: Visitors from heaven... so you're, like, an alien?
[Bumblebee points a finger at her and nods, and converts into a Camaro]
Bumblebee: "Any more questions you want to ask?"
Sam Witwicky: He wants us to get in the car.
Mikaela: [laughing nervously] And go where?
Sam Witwicky: Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?

[Sam runs to the top of a skyscraper and prepares to hand over the Cube to a waiting helicopter... ]
Sam Witwicky: [spotting Starscream] WATCH OUT!
[Starscream fires at the copter, incapacitating it]
Sam Witwicky: Oh my God... Where do I go?
Optimus Prime: [hurrying across rooftops] Hang on, Sam!
[With a crash, Megatron rises from below; frightened, Sam clings to a statue at the edge of the building]
Megatron: Is it fear or courage that compels you, fleshling?
Sam Witwicky: [terrified] Oh no! No!
Megatron: Give me the All Spark, and you may live to be my pet.
Sam Witwicky: [still making a stand] I'm never giving you this All Spark!
Megatron: Oh, so unwise...
[With a roar, he pulls out a flail from his arm and smashes the rooftop, sending a screaming Sam plummeting towards the ground... ]
Optimus Prime: [grabbing Sam] I got you, boy! Hold on to the Cube!
[Prime leaps down, but Megatron grabs him, and all three tumble down into the street]

Mikaela: You know what I don't understand?
Sam Witwicky: What?
Mikaela: If he's like, this super-advanced robot, why does he transform into this piece-of-crap Camaro?

[Bumblebee approaches Sam and Mikaela]
Mikaela: What is it?
Sam Witwicky: It's a robot. You know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese.
[He slowly walks towards Bumblebee]
Mikaela: [alarmed] What are you doing?
Sam Witwicky: I don't think it wants to hurt us. He would've done that already.
Mikaela: Really? Well, do you speak robot? Because they just had, like, a giant droid death match!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, we heard you talking to someone...
Sam Witwicky: Mom, I...
[Sam's parents fall silent and stare at Mikaela]
Mikaela: Hi, I'm Mikaela. I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's.
[Judy starts giggling and chucks Sam on the shoulder]
Judy Witwicky: Gosh, you're gorgeous!
[turns to Ron]
Judy Witwicky: Isn't that the prettiest girl?
Sam Witwicky: She can hear you talking, Mom.

Judy Witwicky: [barging into Sam's bedroom, her husband in tow] Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?
Ron Witwicky: Judy...
Sam Witwicky: [frantic] Was I master... No, Mom!
Ron Witwicky: Zip it, okay?
Judy Witwicky: It's okay...
Sam Witwicky: No, I don't masturbate!
Ron Witwicky: That's not something for you to bring up.
Judy Witwicky: Okay.
Ron Witwicky: That's a father-and-son thing, okay?
Sam Witwicky: Father-son thing...
Judy Witwicky: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or...
Sam Witwicky: [amazed] Happy time?
Judy Witwicky: special alone time...
Ron Witwicky: Judy, stop!
Judy Witwicky: ...with myself.
Sam Witwicky: Mom, you can't come in and...
Judy Witwicky: I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink.

Sam Witwicky: What is Sector 7? Answer me!
Agent Simmons: I ask the questions round here, not you, young man!
Mikaela: All right, how did you know about the aliens?
Sam Witwicky: Where did you take my parents?
Agent Simmons: I am not at liberty to discuss...
[Sam snatches his badge away]
Agent Simmons: Hey, you touch me, that's a federal offense!
Sam Witwicky: [holding it up] "Do whatever you want and get away with it" badge, right?
Agent Simmons: Brave now, all of a sudden with his big alien friends standing over there.

Optimus Prime: Ratchet, shine the light.
Sam Witwicky: Would you stop with the lights?

Sam Witwicky: You're not gonna get me! You're not gonna get me!
[runs into a building; moments later, Magatron smashes through a window]
Megatron: I smell you, boy...!
[senses Sam on the floor above him and bursts through, narrowly missing Sam]
Megatron: MAGGOT!

Sam Witwicky: [presenting his assignment] So, for my genealogy report, I decided to write on my great-great-grandfather, Captain Archibald Witwicky, who was a famous man. He was a polar explorer; in fact, he was one of the first men to visit the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal. In 1897 he took 41 brave explorers with him to the Arctic Shelf. That's the story. Unfortunately my great-grandfather, the genius that he is, went blind and crazy - he spent the rest of his life in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling about some Iceman he'd discovered...

[Sam wistfully watches Mikaela walk away]
Bumblebee: [turning his radio on] "Who's gonna drive you home?"
Miles: Hey, man, what's wrong with your radio?
Sam Witwicky: I am.
Miles: What?
Sam Witwicky: I'm gonna drive her home!
Miles: What? She's an evil jock concubine, man, let her hitchike!
Sam Witwicky: She lives ten miles away, all right? It's my only chance! Get out of the car!

[Sam gives Mikaela a ride home]
Mikaela: [looking out the window] I can't believe that I'm here right now.
Sam Witwicky: You can duck down if you want. I mean, it won't hurt my feelings.
Mikaela: Oh, no no no. I didn't mean here with you. I just meant here, like, in this situation. The same situation that I'm always in. 'Cause, I don't know, I guess I just have a weakness for hot guys, for tight abs and really big arms.
Sam Witwicky: Big arms?
Sam Witwicky: Well, there's a couple new additions in the car. Like, I just put that light there...
[points back, and flexes his arm muscle]
Sam Witwicky: ...and that disco ball...
[he turns his hand forward, still flexing]
Sam Witwicky: ...and so the light reflects off the disco ball.
[points back and forth, flexing his arm all the while]

[Bumblebee gets his legs blown off by Starscream]
Sam Witwicky: You're gonna be okay... you're gonna be okay... RATCHET!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Sam Witwicky: [comforting Carly] You're gonna be fine, I promise...

Sam Witwicky: [pointing a gun at Dylan Gould] Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?
Dylan: You've got some balls.

Sam Witwicky: [pillars start to spark] It's starting!

Sam Witwicky: [Bumblebee appears, transforms] That's my car.

Sam Witwicky: Humans are working with the Decepticons.

Sam Witwicky: [looking at documents] Bee, there's something else going on here. The moon programme, the cover-ups, the assassinations, it's all led to this...

Sam Witwicky: [to Lennox] We gotta get Sentinel outta here, he is the key to all this...
Sentinel Prime: Indeed I am! What you must realize my Autobot brothers, is we were never going to win the war! For the sake of our planet's survival, a deal had to be made... with Megatron!
[blasts Ironhide]
Lennox: GET BACK!
Ironhide: [rusting away] Sentinel... what have you done?
Sentinel Prime: [to Ironhide] I hereby discharge you from duty!
[shoots Ironhide again]

Dylan: The kid who saved the world. You think you're a hero? YOU THINK YOU'RE A HERO?
Sam Witwicky: No, I'm just a messenger.
[knocks Dylan into the pillar]

Robert Epps: I still got my NEST friends out there. I'm a round 'em up, we'll find your girlfriend and we're gonna bring this guy in.
Sam Witwicky: Why are you helping me?
Robert Epps: 'Cause that asshole killed my friends too.

Dylan: NOOOO!
[pulls a gun on Sam]
Sam Witwicky: Dylan, you can't do this, okay?
Dylan: There's only one future for me!

[Bumblebee drops some sprockets]
Carly Miller: Oooh, rings!
[Bumblebee plays wedding chimes]
Carly Miller: I love this car!
Sam Witwicky: Yeah, but Bee. you gotta slow it down. You gotta slow way down, ok?
Bumblebee: [through his radio] "I'm just trying to help out."

Sam Witwicky: You love it, don't you? I'm just your American boytoy!
Carly Miller: [laughs] I love a boytoy.
Sam Witwicky: Do you know how demoralizing it is that I've saved the world twice and still be groveling for a job?
Carly Miller: People don't know that you've saved the world Sam, I mean I do, I believe you.
Sam Witwicky: Government knows, I mean they could hook me up with a job right here in DC. I should be working with the Autobots otherwise, it's not fair.

Wheelie: [coming in out of the rain] Frickin' shorting my circuits out here! It's inhumane, that's what it is! Make us live in a box on a balcony next to a beast? Like a common animal!
Sam Witwicky: Stop, okay? You and your creepy sidekick can't be in here without permission.
Wheelie: According to who? Miss Blondie Blonde?
[climbs on the dog]
Wheelie: Giddyup, little doggie! Ha!

Wheelie: You know, Sam, I don't know about moving in with this chick. What if she dumps us like the last girl?
Brains: She was mean, didn't like her.
Wheelie: Us guys gotta stick together!
Brains: [sings] We are family! fa-fa-mi-mi-family.
Sam Witwicky: No, we are not family! You're a political refugee, and I have finally found someone who appreciates me for me!
Brains: Well, you tell her that we're not your pets, and we're not your toys, all right? We're an advanced genius alien race just looking for a home!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, I think for a job interview that you should wear real pants.
Sam Witwicky: I think for life, you should wear real pants.
Judy Witwicky: [Sees Sam's new car] Oh, what happened to Bumblebee?
Sam Witwicky: He's off on his missions. I had to get this for backup.
Ron Witwicky: Your car has a job, huh?
Judy Witwicky: Stop. What does it change into?
Sam Witwicky: It doesn't change into anything. It's a collector's item, Ma. I got it for a steal. It just needs some work. Trust me.
Judy Witwicky: No, I think it's darling. It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee... if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.

Sam Witwicky: The Autobots are off saving the world and I've organized four binders.

Sam Witwicky: We got an emergency, you gotta get Colonel Lennox out here. I'm reporting Decepticons! Decepticons are back, you gotta open that gate right now!
NEST Guard: Easy sir, this is Heath and Human services.
Sam Witwicky: Right, packing M4s! What are you protecting? Colostomy bags? Bedpans? Throat lozenges? Where'd you get that hat from, nursing school? So you're nurses and foot powder protectors, fantastic!

Sam Witwicky: Come here. Come here!
Bumblebee: [through radio] "Come on, Sam!"
Sam Witwicky: What is your deal, huh? I know your Black Op stuff is important to you and i'm not trying to diminish it or guilt trip you or anything, I just never see you anymore! You can't come to the garage and hang out just one night?
Bumblebee: "Sam, that makes me feel bad."
Sam Witwicky: Well I hope you feel bad, you should feel bad - look at the jalopy I'm driving now - I feel bad every single day!

Charlotte Mearing: Mr. Witwicky, I thought I made it clear to you that I did not want you calling this phone.
Sam Witwicky: Listen, the whole thing has been a set-up since the beginning! The Decepticons wanted Optimus to find Sentinel because he was the only one who could revive him.
Charlotte Mearing: But we have the space bridge.
Sam Witwicky: Mearing, you have five pillars - I just learned that they have hundreds! You're doing exactly what they wanted you to do! What do you need me to say to you? The Decepticons are coming for Sentinel Prime!

Optimus Prime: What your leaders say is true: this was all my fault. I told them whom to trust. I was so wrong.
Sam Witwicky: That doesn't make it your fault, it just makes you human for a change.
Optimus Prime: Remember this: you may lose your faith in us, but never in yourselves.
Sam Witwicky: I need to know how you're going to fight back. I know there's a strategy, I know you're coming back with reinforcements, something. I know there's a plan. You can tell me, no other human will ever know.
Optimus Prime: There is no plan.
Sam Witwicky: If we just do what they want, how are we ever going to live with ourselves?
Optimus Prime: You are my friend Sam, you always will be. But your leaders have spoken. From here the fight will be your own.

Robert Epps: [seeing destroyed Chicago] My god. We came here to find her in the middle of all of that?
Epps Team 'Stone': Are we really going out there Epps?
Eddie: I'm not going in there!
Robert Epps: No one's going in.
Sam Witwicky: I am. With or without you, I'll find her.
Robert Epps: You're going to get yourself killed Sam! Is that what you want? Is that what you want, you came all the way out here to get yourself killed? Listen to what I'm saying!
Sam Witwicky: She's here because of me, do you understand?
Robert Epps: Listen, if you go in this building, that's if she's still alive, there's no way you're going to be able to reach her!
Sam Witwicky: What do you suggest I do?
Robert Epps: It's over. I'm sorry, but it's over.

Optimus Prime: [shoots down the ship attacking Sam and Epps] We will kill them all! Your leaders will now understand: Decepticons will never leave your planet alone. And we needed them to believe we had gone. For today, in the name of freedom, we take the battle to them!
[other Autobots appear]
Sam Witwicky: I saw your ship blow up!
Roadbuster: The ship? We were never in the ship! We designed the damn thing, didn't we?
Leadfoot: We were hidden in the first booster rocket to seperate - splashed down back in the Atlantic, just as planned.
Leadfoot: We ain't going nowhere!
Brains: Yeah, no one's exiling us!
Wheelie: The Autobots are staying right here. We're gonna help you win this war!

Sam Witwicky: [seeing Driller coming at them] No, no, NO! MOVE! WE GOTTA MOVE!
Robert Epps: Why do the Decepticons always get the good shit? We're about to be eaten, people!

Carly Spencer: I love you.
Sam Witwicky: I love you. You're the only thing I need in this world and I'll do anything to make it up to you. I promise.
Carly Spencer: I'm going to hold you to that. Just never let me go.
Sam Witwicky: Promise.

Sam Witwicky: [Upset as it seems Bruce won't hire him for the job he wants] I've saved your life twice. I can't tell you how, but you are still alive because of me.

Optimus Prime: They're surrounding the city to make a fortress so that no one can see what their up to inside. Our only chance is the element of surprise.
Sam Witwicky: [looks at the Decepticon airship] I think I know where to look. So you can fly this thing, right?
[Bumblebee wiggles his fingers]
Sam Witwicky: What is that... What is that? What is that? So-so? So you so-so can fly this. That feels terrible.
Bumblebee: Uh-huh!

Dylan: Sam, do as I said, she won't be harmed, you have my word.
Sam Witwicky: I'll kill you, you have my word.

Charlotte Mearing: I don't care who you are. If you breathe a word of what you see in here, you will do time for treason. Do you understand me?
Sam Witwicky: I'll take my orders from the Autobots. I know them. I don't know you.
Charlotte Mearing: You will.

Brains: [watching Carly and Sam make out] Wow!
Brains: Get lucky!
Carly Miller: [shrieks] Get him out of here!
Brains: [is grabbed by Sam and is kicked] Wait. No, no, no, no!
Carly Miller: Oh, he's gross!
Brains: She's good.
Sam Witwicky: Sorry. They're stranded here. Somebody's got to watch out for them.
Carly Miller: Yesterday, that one was in my underwear drawer.
Brains: Did research! Looking real good too! Ha-ha-ha...
[Sam slaps him]
Brains: Ow! No need to hit me!

[as the Autobots leave in the starship Xanthium]
Sam Witwicky: They're not coming back.
Dylan: We knew it. We just have to make sure they don't come back.
[signals Starscream, who blows up the Xanthium]

Sam Witwicky: Chicago is Ground Zero, do you understand?

"The Transformers: Megatron's Master Plan: Part 2 (#2.16)" (1985)
[At the mayor's office, Spike shows the mayor the incriminating tape which proves that the Autobots are innocent, and that the transformers in the film were in fact the Decepticons in disguise]
Spike Witwickey: Well, Mr. mayor?
[the mayor stops the film and ejects the tape]
Mayor: This evidence is conclusive, Spike. How could we have been so stupid?
Spike Witwickey: We've got to bring the Autobots back!
Mayor: I'm afraid that's impossible...
[the mayor gives the tape back to Spike]
Mayor: ...but there may be something we can do.

[at the press conference hall, Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave and Berger are standing in front of the TV cameras. Reporters sit in lines. TV technicians prepare the broadcasting equipment]
Shawn Berger: [On TV] Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our regular programming to present...
Megatron: [On TV] People of Earth! This is Megatron. Any questions? You, in front.
[Unnoticed, Spike, Sparkplug, Chip and mayor sneak in, with the incriminating tape in their possession, intending to reveal the Decepticons' scheme in public]
Reporter: Thank you, sir
[looking at his notes]
Reporter: Mr., uh, Megatron, now that the Autobots are gone - what are your plans here on Earth?
Megatron: I'm glad you asked, Earth-germ!
Shawn Berger: [turns to Megatron, shocked at this rudeness] What?
Megatron: My plan is to conquer this mud-ball of a planet, and
[makes squashing gesture]
Megatron: suck it dry of energy!
Reporter: [drops his notes in fear] We've been had!
[the audience mumbles in fear and shock]
Megatron: Yes! Thanks to my partner, Shawn Berger
[gestures toward Berger, who stands speechless]
Megatron: .
Reporter: Berger!
Male audience member: Traitor!
Female Audience Member: [gasps] I don't believe it!
Berger's Guard: [to another of Berger's guards] We've been working for a traitor!
Reporter: [waves his fist angrily at Berger] Berger, you filthy swine!
Shawn Berger: [Speechless, shakes in fear, realizing that he was used by the Decepticons to get rid of the Autobots, and now nothing can stop the Decepticons - all because of his lust for power]
Spike Witwickey: [to his friends, gesturing the tape, which is no longer needed as Megatron himself revealed the truth] Nothing is more stale than old news.
Berger's Guard: Shred my paycheck, Berger! I'm switching sides!
[he and the other guard point their rifles at Berger and rush toward him, but Starscream shoots and destroys their rifles]
Megatron: Is anyone brave - or stupid enough - to oppose us? This city is under martial law... and *I* am the marshal!
Shawn Berger: [bows his head in despair]

[Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet fly above the city]
Dirge: Let us teach them a lesson in sorrow!
[the three Decepticon jets terrorizing the residents of the city, destroying buildings and cars]
Megatron: [his face shown on TV monitor] I christen this city Megatronia 1! Soon there will be many more!
[the monitor shows Dirge shooting in the city]
Spike Witwickey: He looks like he's gone crazy!
Shawn Berger: [caught in despair] It is over. I saw the Autobot ship, like a silver bullet, streaking toward the sun, and it collided - collided with destiny! I saw the end. They died in a cosmic funeral pyre!
Spike Witwickey: You don't think what he said is true, do you?
Chip Chase: There's not much room left for hope.
Spike Witwickey: [tears fill his eyes] Oh, no...
Megatron: All flesh creatures shall fill energon cubes at once!

[after hearing that the Autobots' ship was destroyed]
Spike Witwickey: The Autobots may be gone, but I still have to clear their names!
[Spike runs with the incriminating tape, intending to use it to reveal the Decepticons' trick. Sparkplug tries to stop his son, but it is too late]
Sparkplug Witwicky: Spike, Son! Don't! Spike, come back!
[hearing the commotion, Soundwave turns and sees Spike running away with the tape]
Soundwave: Laserbeak, Ravage - get him!
[Soundwave presses a switch on his left shoulder. His chest-lid opens, and Laserbeak and Ravage emerge, chasing Spike. While running, Spike's foot gets caught at projector base. He falls down and the tape drops from his hand]
Spike Witwickey: The tape!
[Laserbeak shoots and destroys the tape, while Ravage charges at Spike. At the last moment, Spike stands on his feet and jumps aside. Ravage bumps against pile of filming equipment and gets caught in it]
Shawn Berger: It is the end! Hahah! The apocalypse!
[to the astonishment of the others, Berger rushes to help Spike]
Mayor: Berger!
[Laserbeak shoots at Spike, narrowly missing. Berger grabs microphone pole and hits Laserbeak with it. Laserbeak loses balance while flying and crashes down. Meanwhile, Ravage manages to get free and charges again at Spike. Spike turns on a projector directly at Ravage, blinding him temporarily, halting his charge. Berger approaches Spike]
Shawn Berger: Are you all right, kid?
Megatron: [approaches them] Compassion is for fools, Berger! You're going nowhere, boy!
[Starscream and Soundwave pick Sparkplug and Chip]
Spike Witwickey: Megatron, please, don't hurt them...
Megatron: [teasing] And why should I want to hurt them? Healthy slaves can do much more work. And you, Berger, do you still want your reward?
Shawn Berger: Yes!
Megatron: Then you shall have it. Everything that you've earned...
[Megatron laughs viciously]

[At the power plant]
Chip Chase: Spike, I've got to get to Autobot Headquarters. Maybe I can get Teletraan to help us out of this fix.
Spike Witwickey: [smiles] Hmm, it's worth a try. I'll give you some cover.
[Spike waits till Soundwave looks in different direction, then he leaves his post. Hiding behind machinery, Spike notices a cart loaded with energon cubes. Spike runs to the cart and slams his shoulder against it. The cart rolls away, rapidly accelerating, toward Rumble. Rumble, who is carrying energon cube, notices the cart too late. The cart slams into Rumble with great force, the energon cubes are thrown away from it, and without slowing - it continues its course with Rumble at the front, scaring the workers away]
Spike Witwickey: Roll, Chip! Roll!
[Chip rolls his wheelchair toward the exit. The cart, caught in its momentum, smashes Rumble against machinery. The impact causes severe damage. Rumble, unable to move away from the damaged console, groans in agony as he suffers electric shock of thousands volts. Megatron approaches as he hears the commotion]
Megatron: Shut off the power!
[one of the prisoners turns off the main power switch. The room is engulfed with darkness. At last Rumble manages to move away from the damaged machinery. Chip reaches the door, unfortunately it is protected with invisible knee-high infra-red beam. As Chip crosses the beam, the alarm is activated. Chip does not linger, but rolls outside as fast as he can. Hearing the alarm, Soundwave looks through the window and notices Chip]
Soundwave: Megatron! Immobilized human escapes.
[the lights are back. The prisoners cover their eyes, momentarily blinded by the sudden burst of light]
Megatron: He is harmless!
[Megatron laughs viciously]
Megatron: Thrust! Bring him back!
[Thrust nods. He steps outside, transforms to airplane and flies above the plant. While Chip hides around the corner of the building, he sees Ramjet standing near a truck whose trailer doors are open, with digonal board leaning on its edge for loading. A worker pushes cart full of crates on the board into the truck. As Ramjet and the worker walk away, Chip seizes the opportunity, rolling his wheelchair on the board into the truck trailer. He hides inside the trailer near a crack in its wall]
Chip Chase: It's not an Autobot, but it'll have to do.
[the worker returns. He puts the board inside the truck, closes the doors and drives away. Chip looks through the crack till he sees gas station with huge sign "STAN'S"]
Chip Chase: That's it!
[the driver stops the truck at the station. Looking at the side mirror, he is puzzled to see Chip exiting from the trailer]
Chip Chase: [waving to the driver] That's my stop, thanks!

[now that the Autobots are gone, the Decepticons seize control of the city, ruthlessly enslaving the residents. The people are forced into hard labor at refineries, power plants and mines, working to exhaustion in producing energon cubes, while the Decepticons oversee them. Spike, Sparkplug, Chip, the mayor and Berger are imprisoned in a power plant, watched by Soundwave, their hands are chained with electric handcuffs]
Soundwave: Increase efficiency or be terminated!
[Soundwave shoots over the workers' heads]
Chip Chase: Those generators never worked so hard before.
Spike Witwickey: Generators? What about us?
Mayor: [pants heavily while working] Megatron was true to his word. He rewarded Berger with everything... he deserved.
[the mayor glances at Berger, who is forced to work like the other captives, clearly not used to hard labor. One of Berger's ex-gaurds passes by, carrying energon cube on his back, glaring at his former employer with hatred]
Berger's Guard: What's the matter, traitor? Real work's something new to you?
Chip Chase: Berger sure doesn't have many friends in these ranks.
Spike Witwickey: Still, I can't forget how he tried to help me...
[a shot, fired by Soundwave, passes between Spike and Chip, narrowly misses them. They recoil in horror]
Soundwave: Less talk and more work.

[back at the power plant]
Chip Chase: [whimpering] I should never have gone to Autobot Headquarters... now Teletraan is destroyed.
Spike Witwickey: Hey, Chip, you tried.
[Spike places his hand consolingly on his friend's shoulder]
Spike Witwickey: Teletraan wouldn't have been much help without the Autobots, anyway.
[Soundwave shoots above Chip and Spike's heads, frightening them]
Soundwave: Work!
Chip Chase: [back to work] Now there's no hope at all.

[after the Air Force retreated, Megatron boasts his victory]
Megatron: You see? Even Earth's mightiest warriors cannot stop us. Soon, other cities will fall, then others, one after the next... until Earth is ours!
[Megatron points his arm-cannon at the prisoners]
Shawn Berger: No, I won't let you!
[Berger rushes toward Megatron, placing himself in front of the other prisoners. With slight move of his hand, Megatron knocks Berger down]
Megatron: Grovel for my amusement!
[Megatron points again his his arm-cannon at the prisoners, who are paralyzed with fear. Suddenly, loud noise is heard from the outside, as if many vehicles are heading to the power plant]
Spike Witwickey: You hear that? It sounds like...
Chip Chase, Sparkplug Witwicky: [excitedly] Autobots!
Optimus Prime: [his voice is heard from outside the building] Megatron!
Megatron: No!
[Megatron blasts a hole in the near wall, scaring the workers away. He runs outside and is shocked to see all the Autobots there]
Megatron: Impossible! I saw you disintegrated!
Optimus Prime: Illusion, Megatron. Just as you made the people of Earth see us as villains - so we, too, staged an illusion.

Megatron: Decepticons, assemble for battle!
Optimus Prime: [transforms] Autobots - transform!
[the Autobots transform into robots mode, pointing their weapons]
Ironhide: And let's show 'em a little reality...
Megatron: No missing!
[the Decepticons open fire. The Autobots hesitate for a moment, then return fire. Optimus Prime shoots at Starscream, severely hits him. Starscream yells in agony and collapses]
Megatron: Keep firing! Don't leave an Autobot standing!
Ironhide: Come on, guys! Let's wrap this package of Decepticon garbage!
[Spike, Sparkplug and Chip get close to the hole in the wall]
Chip Chase: Who's winning, Spike?
Spike Witwickey: [smiles] guess...
Starscream: [struggling to his feet] It's no use... we're outnumbered.
[once again, Starscream is shot and collapses. Megatron looks back and sees that nearly all the Decepticons are down, severely damaged, unable to fight]
Megatron: We've lost the advantage!
[Megatron, as always, is the first to flee. The other Decepticons transform and follow their leader in shameful retreat]

"The Transformers: Heavy Metal War (#1.14)" (1984)
[as Megatron approaches the Autobots' headquarters, Ironhide's sensors warn of his presence]
Ironhide: Huh? Those signals spell trouble, and I'm talkin' Decepticons!
Sparkplug Witwicky: Can you make out how many, Spike?
Spike Witwicky: Looks like just one, Dad.
[Megatron appears in sight]
Spike Witwicky: One's one too many when it's Megatron!

Spike Witwicky: I'm still not crazy about this combat deal, Optimus. We all know how tricky Megatron can be. I mean, they don't call those creeps 'Decepticons' for nothing.
Optimus Prime: The code specifies a fair battle, Spike. Under those rules, I'm confident I can beat Megatron. Besides, if he does not abide by the rules, Teletraan 1 will tell us. The time for the battle approaches. Autobots, transform! Roll out!
[the Autobots transform to vehicles and drive to the battle site]

[the battle begins. Optimus Prime and Megatron advance toward each other ]
Optimus Prime: One-to-one combat, Megatron!
Megatron: With the vanquished and his army exiled to deep space forever.
[Optimus offer handshake. Megatron, treacherous as ever, takes advantage of this friendly gesture. Optimus Prime shivers as he suffers electrical shock. Smiling viciously, Megatron pulls his hand up and backward, throwing Optimus to the other side of the arena. The Autobots react disappointedly with "Oh no!" "C'mon!" calls]
Optimus Prime: [heavily struggles to his feet] Uhh... never knew he was... that strong.
[Before Optimus can recover, Megatron shoots and hits him in the chest, sending him down]
Starscream: [to Skywarp] My power chip gives him the use of my cluster bombs.
[Optimus blocks Megatron's next shot with his left arm, and shoots a ball of fire from his right palm, hitting Megatron in the chest. Megatron shivers in pain, nearly falls. The Autobots cheer, thinking that from now on Optimus gains the upper hand]
Sparkplug Witwicky: Go, Optimus!
Spike Witwicky: All right, Optimus! Zap him good!
[Megatron quickly recovers. From his right loin, gun barrel protrudes, shooting at Optimus. Optimus is hit and collapses]
Starscream: And the use of my null ray, too.
[using Rumble's power, Megatron hits the ground, creating a ravine which stretches to under Optimus' feet. Optimus falls into the ravine. Rumble points himself proudly. Optimus climbs out of the ravine, grabs huge boulder and throws it at Megatron. Megatron teleports himself. The boulder falls at the spot where Megatron was a moment ago and splits. Megatron re-appears behind Optimus]
Skywarp: You should see ME do that when I've got my power chip!
Spike Witwicky: Optimus, behind you!
[Optimus hears Spike's warning and starts to turn back, but it is too late. Megatron shoots Optimus in the back. Optimus falls on his knees]

[Optimus Prime, severely damaged, strains to keep figthing while the Autobots encourage him]
Chip Chase: Optimus Prime!
Spike Witwicky: Get up, Optimus!
Sparkplug Witwicky: You can beat him, Optimus!
[Optimus Prime shoots and hits Megatron. The Autobots cheer for him]
Ironhide: Way to go, Prime! You're not down yet!
[Optimus Prime charges at Megatron, grabbing him by the waist. Megatron flies upward, dragging Optimus Prime with him, laughing viciously]
Megatron: [laughing] You cannot blast what you cannot see!
[flashes of light burst out of Megatron's chest, blinding Optimus Prime temporarily, forcing him to let go of his opponent. Optimus Prime falls to the ground with heavy thud, to the dismay of the Autobots, who exclaim "Oh no!". Before he can recover, Megatron uses another of his borrowed weapons]
Megatron: [laughing] Nor what you cannot hear!
[Megatron unleashes high-frequency soundwaves. Optimus Prime drops his gun and tries to cover his ears from the deafening sound, writhing in agony on his knees]
Starscream: [to Skywarp] Reflector and Thundercracker must be proud, or rather their power chip rectifiers must be...
[Megatron lands and shoots Optimus Prime in the back. Optimus Prime collapses]
Megatron: You were good, Optimus Prime, but not good enough to fight Megatron! And so the battle ends!
[Megatron shoots Optimus Prime, who is so damaged that cannot fight anymore]

[as the Autobots return to their base, Spike notices the battle between Devastator and the Dinobots]
Spike Witwicky: [points at Devastator] Hey... check that out! What is it?
[Devastator advances toward the Dinobots. Grimlock charges and sinks his fangs into Devastator's right hand, but Devastator is unaffected, and throws Grimlock away with slight move. Grimlock lands heavily on his back. Snarl growls and charges, hitting Devastator's right leg with his mighty tail - again, Devastator is not damaged. Devastator kicks at Snarl, sending him into the lava-filled ravine. Snarl manages to grab the edge of the ravine and pulls himself out]
Ironhide: Our Dino-buddies! We gotta help!
Optimus Prime: No, Ironhide. Remember the law.
[the Autobots enter their base, leaving the Dinobots to fight Devastator]

[last lines]
[the Autobots, Spike, Sparkplug and Chip approach the ravine and look down at it. No sign of the Decepticons]
Optimus Prime: It is ended.
Spike Witwicky: Is it really over, Optimus? I mean... have we seen the end of this war forever?
Optimus Prime: Who can say, Spike? In this vast universe, is anything truly forever?
[Megatron's head and upper torso emerge from the lava. His body is scratched in many places, but otherwise he is unharmed]
Megatron: Uhhh... we shall rise... again!
[Megatron's eyes glow red]

Spike: Is it really over, Optimus? I mean, have we seen the last of this war forever?
Optimus Prime: Who can say, Spike? In this vast universe, is anything truly... forever?

Megatron: It is over! Optimus Prime has been defeated! All Autobots must exile themselves to deeper space!
[the Autobots rush to help Optimus Prime]
Spike Witwicky: Oh... I can't believe it.
Chip Chase: Optimus Prime... beaten by Megatron?
[Optimus Prime groans in pain]
Spike Witwicky: He's functional... but barely.
Optimus Prime: Uhhh... my fault. Underestimated Megatron. Never suspected he had so many powers. I was not prepared...
Ironhide: [furiously] Well, I'm prepared - to knock those Decepti-bums all the way back to Cybertron!
[the other Autobots exclaim in approval]
Optimus Prime: [getting on his feet] No! Megatron has beaten me according to Cybertron law. To violate that law would destroy our honour. We will comply and leave this Earth forever.
Optimus Prime: As you command, Optimus.
Ratchet: [to Wheeljack] We'll need Teletraan 1 to diagnose all this damage.
Wheeljack: Optimus, can you transform?
Optimus Prime: I-I'll try.
[straining in pain, Optimus Prime transforms into truck. The other Autobots transform into vehicles]
Huffer: Maybe I can help Optimus save some of his strength on the way back...
[Huffer tranforms into vehicle mode]
Huffer: Let me take that load, Optimus.
Optimus Prime: You're a true friend, Huffer.
[Optimus Prime disengages from his trailer, and Huffer takes it]
Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out! Perhaps for the last time...
Megatron: We will accompany them back to their headquarters to make certain "noble" Optimus Prime keeps his word.
[the Decepticons fly above the Autobots' line]

"The Transformers: Fire in the Sky (#1.13)" (1984)
[first lines]
Spike Witwicky: Wow... that's the biggest snowman I ever saw!
[the snowman crumbles... ]
Jazz: Not snowman, Spike - snowbot!

Spike Witwicky: I can't believe I'm in a snowball fight, in July in the middle of the desert! It's amazing!
Optimus Prime: And perhaps dangerous...

[Skyfire holds up Spike and his father]
Sparkplug Witwicky: Keep your big mitts offa me!
Spike Witwicky: Let go of us, please!
Sparkplug Witwicky: Help! Optimus Prime!
Skyfire: Why are you so frightened? I will not harm you.
Spike Witwicky: Then why are you wearing the Decepticon symbol?
Skyfire: Only the evil Autobots need fear me.
Spike Witwicky: The Autobots are not evil, they're good. They're fighting to protect our planet and all us humans.
Sparkplug Witwicky: He's right. You Decepticons are the real monsters!
Skyfire: No, no, that can't be true. I'll prove we are not evil. I'll take you to Megatron, my leader. He'll show you that you have nothing to fear.

[last lines]
Ratchet: The energy drain has been stopped.
Bumblebee: The Earth'll heat up again.
Hound: And the Decepticons are defeated.
Spike Witwicky: But Skyfire is... is gone.
Optimus Prime: He won't be forgotten, Spike. He will live forever so long as freedom exists. We shall remember you, Skyfire.

"The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye: Part 2 (#1.2)" (1984)
Spike Witwicky: [takes hands off steering wheel] Look, Dad, no hands.
Trailbreaker: Big deal. *I'm* driving.

[one of the Decepticons shoots at him]
Sunstreaker: Hey! That's a new paint job.
[fires back at Thundercracker]
Spike Witwicky: Man, that's hot.

"The Transformers: The Master Builders (#2.12)" (1985)
Optimus Prime: [tries basketball] Am I drooling correctly?
Spike Witwicky: The word is 'dribbling', Optimus!

Spike Witwicky: [sees the Solar Power Tower] Man, look at that! That's so tall, the top is in a different time zone than the bottom!

Transformers: The Game (2007) (VG)
Sam Witwicky: [as Bumblebee transforms in front of him] That's my...Car?
Mikaela Banes: Oh, cool, where can I get one like that?

Sam Witwicky: [to Scorponok, showing the All-spark] Is this what you want?
Ironhide: [jumps in front of Sam, grabs All-Spark] You must protect the All-Spark at all costs!

"The Transformers: Day of the Machines (#2.14)" (1985)
Hound: Not so fast, Mega-meatball!
Spike Witwicky: Go get 'em, guys!

Spike Witwicky: What do you say, guys? Can you bash it down?
Hound: With a smile on our lip-components.

"The Transformers: Dinobot Island: Part 2 (#2.4)" (1985)
Chip Chase: Teletraan I should solve the mystery, Optimus Prime, with the right input.
Spike Witwicky: You'll do it, Chip.
Beachcomber: Like if you need geology type info, hey, just call on 'your truly' Beachcomber. I dig projects that don't require conflict, you know.
Perceptor: And if you need a true scientist to explain Beachcomber to you...
[Perceptor transforms into microscope]
Perceptor: ...don't hesitate to call on me, Perceptor.
Chip Chase: Thanks, Perceptor. You too, Beachcomber. I can use lots of help.

[the Autobots arrive where the first time-warp was detected. Sideswipe uses his hand drills to release Spike and Bumblebee from the wrecked building]
Bumblebee: About time you guys showed up!
Ironhide: What about Spike? Is he...
Spike Witwicky: Not a scratch, Ironhide, though I can't say the same for Bumblebee. He protected me with his body. He's a real hero!
Bumblebee: [meekly] Aw... anybody'd have done the same.

"The Transformers: The Girl Who Loved Powerglide (#2.35)" (1985)
Spike Witwicky: So, you had a run-in with the Decepti-creeps, huh?
Astoria Carton-Ritz: Yeah.
Spike Witwicky: Too bad I wasn't there. I'm always ready to rescue a girl as pretty as you.
Astoria Carton-Ritz: What do you know about Powerglide?
Spike Witwicky: Ah, he's okay. Kind of a blowhard, if you know what I mean.
Astoria Carton-Ritz: I think he's wonderful.
Spike Witwicky: You do?
Astoria Carton-Ritz: Oh, wow. He's tall, he's handsome, he's shiny, and he can fly!
Spike Witwicky: Yeah, well, there's a few things he can't do, you know.

"The Transformers: The Ultimate Doom: Revival (3) (#1.10)" (1984)
Sparkplug Witwicky: Thanks, guys, for not giving up on me. Especially you, Spike.
Spike Witwicky: Dad, it's like you taught me: You never quit on the people you love.
Brawn: Mushy, but true.

"Transformers: Animated: Garbage in, Garbage out (#2.4)" (2008)
Ratchet: You still want that ride, or what?
Spike Witwicky, Carly Witwicky: We'll call a cab!
[run off]
Ratchet: Hmph! Not even a "thank you". And they call ME rude...

"The Transformers: Blaster Blues (#2.21)" (1985)
[first lines]
[Spike and Carly are at a rock concert, and brought Blaster along]
Carly: Great sounds!
Blaster: Yeah! Music, the universal language!
Spike Witwicky: Awesome! Too bad the other Autobots aren't here to enjoy it.
Blaster: They don't gotta be! I'll send 'em the beat with hi-fi heat!

"The Transformers: City of Steel (#2.18)" (1985)
Spike Witwicky: You'll never catch us, Megaklutz!
Megatron: Megaklutz! You dare to insult me in my own command post?

"The Transformers: Transport to Oblivion (#1.4)" (1984)
Bumblebee: How are we gonna get out of this?
Spike Witwicky: By the skin of our teeth.
Bumblebee: I didn't know human teeth had skin.

"The Transformers: The Ultimate Doom: Search (2) (#1.9)" (1984)
Megatron: Decepticon rule FOREVER!
Spike Witwicky: Forever's shorter than you think!

"The Transformers: The Revenge of Bruticus (#2.48)" (1986)
Optimus Prime: I will donate some of the needed parts from my own components, Perceptor, if Megatron agrees to do the same.
Megatron: Never! I am autonomic perfection!
Spike Witwicky: You'll be evaporated perfection if we don't get to Cybertron and stop Starscream!

"The Transformers: Hoist Goes Hollywood (#2.38)" (1985)
Director: You know, "Moist", I think we can use you. How'd you like a job as a - well, what should we call it, uh, "Vehicle Robot"?
Spike Witwicky: Uh, Hoist can't, but I will!
Carly: But you're not a vehicle robot.
Spike Witwicky: Well, I-I'll fake it! I'll fake it!